Don't you know that misery loves company?

“What if I don’t want to fight against it? Hmmm? Has it ever once occurred to you that maybe, just maybe I enjoy ruining the lives of others? I ruined yours,” Vito replied rather snappily, pushing his drink away from him; he may have believed that alcohol was the strongest painkiller around, and wine really was one of his favorites, but it was only fueling his frustration, and he had been awake for an hour or less, so the anger wasn’t exactly welcome in his mind at the moment. “I have no rules to fallow but the ones set by me, and even those mean nothing to me at times, redhead, that, you were correct about. Why else would I try to kill you? I had set the rule that I would not kill you until I got bored of our little games- but when I shot that killing curse your way, I hadn’t yet grown tired of our arguments, our banter, and the chaos that comes along with all of that; that was one rule broken.”

Vito spoke, though he had turned his face away from the girl before him to stare off at the dance floor ahead of him, though he wasn’t really that interested in what he was looking at anyway, “It’s a constant battle, you know; I always have to deal with the temptation of getting blood on my hands, and then the temptation of just walking away…” The poltergeist’s tone of voice had always been rather quiet and low, but it seemed that his voice had quieted even more towards the end of his sentences, as if he were speaking to only himself at that moment.

“That hope… that you have for me… that maybe I’ll change, its something that makes me want to crush your pretty little heart in my palms”- Vito made a fist, as if her heart was actually there, curling his fingers into the imaginary thing- “because I don’t like to think that I have someone judging my actions- anyone other than myself. I’ve tried gaining acceptance from others before… I’m done with that… I’m done,” Vito whispered, once again sounding as if he were speaking to himself.

What of that explosion that had happened inside of him, you ask? Oh yes, it had done its damage- do you really think Vito Dee Symons would ever admit such things, had some sort of damage not been done to his mind? Of course not. He was just trying to figure out how to deal with it- how to deal with Jack, the truth, realty, fear, anger, rage; all of it.

Jack stared at him, listening to what he said and struggling with how she wanted to react. She could tell he was being honest at least in parts of it, but he was not admitting a lot. She could feel the things that he was holding back, but she could not put her finger on what exactly he was hiding from her.

It frustrated her that he was still holding back things from her, especially when it was just as simple as telling the truth about himself. She had seen worse from him. She had seen him break down. he had told her things that she was sure that he had told no one else, and yet he continued to lie pointlessly to her. Wouldn't he be "disappearing" soon? And he still felt that his reputation meant more than the truth...

She shook her head. "But that's what tells me you do want to fight it. If you have the temptation to walk away, then obviously you do not want to kill people. Vito, I know you are not the friendliest person in the world and you have a quick temper, but murdering people is a bigger step from getting angry quickly."

She sighed. "You only want to crush my hope because you don't understand it. Whenever you don't get something, you want to get rid of it." She held back a smirk. And yet I'm still here, she thought amusedly. He definitely did not understand her most of the time.

She again, shook her head. "I'm not judging you Vito," she said quietly. "I'm watching you and waiting for you to do what I know you know is right." She smiled. "It's not about acceptance from others, Vito. Do I look like people accept me?"

At the moment, not even her friends accepted her. She had never been the most normal person and her peers had never been very appreciative of that matter. She stared at him, knowing he was being honest, and she was prepared to be totally honest in return. She tried to see what was going on inside his head. "I wish you would just tell me what you're thinking. What you are feeling. Instead of getting defensive every time. You keep acting like I'm trying to get dirt on you or something, and yet I have never violated your trust, or whatever it is." Trust might not be the right word...

It was so much work; lying, hiding.

“You want to know what I’m feeling? I feel like something inside of my brain snapped or exploded and now all that is left of it is a mess of jumbled thoughts. I cant seem to straighten them out, no matter how hard I try- and the seesaw between anger and amusement, its always so damn difficult to just balance everything out!” Vito hissed sharply, though it was clear by his tone and facial expressions that he was angrier with these problems he spoke of than Jack.

“I’ve only ever messed with people, and so, naturally, I expect the same from you, Jack, because as you stated previously, you are just a clone, remember?” Vito rolled his eyes, but it seemed too forced, as if he wouldn’t have rolled his eyes naturally had he not felt the need to appear the way he always did; like Vito Dee Symons.

“That night you found me drunk… I was feeling so amazing. So free. I wasn’t constantly thinking about what would happen to me, what I was supposed to be doing, or what others thought of me- that never happens for me. That was a feeling that I’d only felt that one time. Truth of the matter is though, when the next morning comes around, you have to deal with that sudden rush of emotions and thoughts that you drank to avoid…” The poltergeist stated; she had, after all, said that she wished he would tell her what he was thinking, and that was one of the many thoughts that just wouldn’t leave him alone.

“That’s why I broke down. It was too much all at once. Too much of reality…”

Jack stared at Vito, her eyes wide but her face understanding as she listened to his monologue, nodding along whenever he paused, though it seemed like he was ready to just say it all, right now, get it out there. And what was more, he seemed to be completely honest, holding back nothing as he said what Jack had been hoping he would finally say after so long for her waiting for him to face facts.

She nodded once he finished and said, "Vito...every one feels like that. Do you think every body is totally okay with how people see them? We all live in fear that people are going to see past our act, past our...our mask."

Anyone who knew her well enough knew about her mask. She put it on every time she was out of her element, which seemed to be most places nowadays. Jack was a strong girl, so when she felt weak she tended to fake it in the hopes that she could trick herself and the people around her, though too many times it slipped right off of her face and her true feelings were revealed.

She knew how Vito felt. Whenever that happened, she felt so exposed and weak, but sometimes she felt just as trapped when she was forced to act cocky and arrogant when she could not even stand to be herself.

"I do understand," she said. "I know exactly what that means, how that feels." She shook her head. "It's not easy. But at some point you have to put your foot down and let you appearance to the outside world slip so that you can be yourself."

“Heh, we make a perfect pair then, don’t we; both messes on the inside- and occasionally the outside- attempting to hide the fact that we’re falling apart from the rest of the world…” Vito said with a bitter smile that almost looked pained. There was a moment of complete silence, but Vito took advantage of the moment and used it to calm his mind and his messed up thoughts. “Remember last night when I looked in the mirror… those weren’t my eyes- not Vito’s at least. I didn’t recognize them… I’d never seen them in my life,” he stated, shaking his head slowly, as if he couldn’t believe that those words were actually falling from his lips. It was strange what the need to prove Jack wrong could do to Vito, it really was.

Vito inhaled slowly in a way that almost sounded like a backwards sigh, and glanced over in Jack’s direction for the first time in a good few minutes, “I’m going to go get something to eat. You can fallow me if you want, though I’m sure you’ve gotten it into your head that you don’t need my permission to fallow me by now,” Vito said with a smile- and though it was still bitter, it did look a hell of a lot more honest than his signature smirk.

He stood, smoothed out the front of his suit, and adjusted his tie before walking forward with one foot in front of the other as usual. Vito pushed the door open with his palm and stepped outside onto the streets of London, the air still icy and foggy from the rain earlier that morning. He inhaled the air and slipped his hands into the pressed pockets of his suit, “Your cleverer than I thought,” Vito admitted to the empty streets, though he knew full well that Jack couldn’t hear the compliment from where he was standing.

That was the point.

Vito and Jack were rivals, they pushed each other’s buttons, and hurt each other, but there was a strange feeling of acceptance that had always been there, and that was probably the real reason they could actually be around each other without ripping each other to pieces. An acceptance that Vito hadn’t found anywhere else.

Jack looked back at Vito and returned his pained smile with a sad one that also expressed that she was glad he had finally understood that. That was what she had intended to let him know today. Was that he was not alone in all of this. No matter how hard he tried to push away, she always seemed to find a reason to stick around and be there.

She nodded at what he said and she, again, completely understood. When she had to apologize to Andrew and Chase, even they had noted the difference in her. When you are completely broken down... there's a change. Jack was only just recovering, just recovering her sharp eyes, her strong expression, her confident attitude...

Finally he turned back towards her and told her he was going to eat and she could follow if she saw the need to. He hurried off as usual and she smiled to herself. Some things would never change...Although that genuine smile had been a nice change.

She turned and followed him out of the club, walking at her usual quick pace that soon overtook him. She fell in to step with him and thrust her hands into her pockets, ambling alongside him, feeling very comfortable. It was as if they were back to normal almost, though it was a little different... Less animosity... They were not just waiting for an opening to insult each other...

If one came up for it, they would jump at it, of course. But it was not as if that was all they were waiting for. It was back to just enjoying the fact that they had each other to irritate. She smiled slightly to herself, but turned it quickly into a smirk, glad to have a reason to do so.