She looked up at him and sucked in her lips, nodding at him as she could see the struggle in his eyes and on his face. She saw him glance at something behind her and she glanced too, seeing the mirror and briefly taking in their faces...both ridiculously and drastically different then the last time.
Had the roles been reversed? Here Jack was, drinking to deal with problems that she could not control, and there was Vito, making sure that she at least did not kill herself in the process.
She waited for him to leave and closed the door behind him (sorry for godmode) and sat there staring at the door. She turned and stumbled back to the chair, unzipping her backpack and rifling through the items crammed inside until she found some sweats. She changed into them and found herself some aspirin. She swallowed a few without water and looked towards the bed... That's what was calling to her more than anything.
She stumbled towards the bed and stared at it for a moment.
“Mmmm, come here,” Vito spoke quietly, extending his harm and holding it out towards Jack. His eyes were closed, and he appeared as if he were sleeping, but it seemed that his head wanted to continue to frustrate him for a while longer, and so sleep did not take over him. He patted the bed beside him and scooted backwards slowly. “I won’t touch you, I swear,” Vito added, but his lips didn’t curl upward into his usual smirk- instead, his face remained blank, other than his forehead which was wrinkled slightly out of pain.She shook her head and she collapsed onto the bed, crawling towards the head of it and then wriggling under the sheets. She had slipped her wand into her pocket and now she used it to extinguish the lights before setting it on the table next to the bed. She pulled the sheets tightly around her and buried her heavy, pounding head into the pillow. She was not sure she wanted to forget...but she wanted to sleep.
---
Her eyes opened and a steady pulse beat against her skull. She winced and noticed the light that drifted in from the window... She slowly pushed herself up and sat up, holding her head in her hands. She knew she was in a room in Satin's and she remembered getting drunk and Vito coming to collect her. But she was struggling to remember everything... When had this happened?
Talking to Andrew.
"I can't pretend that I don't hate Vito." She shook her head. "I'm done pretending. You want to help me. Me. An outsider would say 'forget it, there's no point.' But your argument is you have seen the other side of me and that is why it is worth fighting for." She pursed her lips for a second, letting that sink in. "I was trying to convince you of those very words not a moment ago. And now you are trying to convince me." She shook her head. "Fun stuff," she said in a dead voice that indicated it was anything but fun.Then she had spoken to Chase about the same thing.
Why couldn't Chase hate Jack the way Jack hated her...Jack's head went crashing down into her hands and she felt her breath quicken and the world begin to spin... Could Jack be experiencing just a taste of the way Vito felt every day of his life? Could it be that Vito hated himself, or at least his existence, just the way Jack did now, making it unbearable for anyone to care about him...That's why Jack tried. That's why she wanted to help Vito. That was why she was so determined to see the poltergeist get better. It was not because she was like him... She WAS him, minus the murders. She did not like to think that people could care about her because it disgusted her to think that anyone could settle for her. She still could not manage to let herself trust anyone, and it pissed herself off. It made her hate herself, and then she trusted people even less because of it, and she tried to make people not like her.She was Vito Dee Symons.And she had left, in seek of something to relieve her of her memories... That was riht. Vito had come in. She had demanded what did he want with her. He had taunted her and she had informed him that it was all his fault anyway... But he had been different. Quieter, softer, more reserved.
He has said he had hated her and she exploded... She heard his words come rushing back to her, sounding frustrated for the first time that night.
“That is why I hate you. Why cant you just hate me?! I’ve tried so damn hard to get you to, but you. just. wont”That brought her back to what she had learned... She closed her eyes, but forced her mind to keep attempting to think back to the night before. She could sense there was more. Why else was she here?
“You failed Jack, so what? Why the hell did you think you could change me in the first place, anyway? You made that choice, I did nothing to make you stick around- in fact, I remember trying to get you to go away, several times. "She closed her eyes. That hurt too, but there was more, she knew it...
“That girl, Chase, who is always acting so innocent and helpless kicked me against the pavement and I was knocked unconscious. You know what ran through my head for that- what- minute or two? I saw you dead, covered in blood and bruises and It made me sick, like I’d swallowed a carton of sour milk. I’ve killed so many people, Jack, without giving it a second thought- but that image was something I didn’t enjoy,” he told her in a hushed tone, his eyes narrowed and cold, “You challenged me to kill you, and I tried to because I had to prove to myself that you were no different.”Her eyes flew open. That was it... it all came back to her.
“You know what Jack? Your so afraid that you'll never trust anyone, but here I am, with everything I’ve ever wanted and I’m gonna loose it any day now. You’ve got it good, your just too ignorant to see so for yourself,” he replied. He wanted to get up and leave her there to drink herself to death, but his legs refused to obey him, and so he was forced to continue sitting there in the booth, staring at a girl that should have been dead after all he had put her through.
“So drink up darling, because pretty soon you’ll get your way; you wont be seeing much of me anymore.”Her eyes closed and she felt her chin tremble again. Damn this weakness that seemed to have settled in... Andrew and Chase were right... Where was the old Jack?
She felt her stomach shrivel and her heart implode in shame and pain and empathy for the poltergeist. Suddenly, she felt the urge to hug him...but even under the influence, she could hold herself from that. Her eyes met his earnestly and she shook her head. Slowly, she scooted over until she was right next to him. She leaned her head on his shoulder, placing a hand softly on his arm. In a quiet voice, she said, "I've never wanted that Vito."She remembered it all now. He helped her out, promised to get her a room. They drove back to Satin's and attempted to get up the stairs but it had been too much trouble... Vito had carried her, taken her to the room, dropped her on the bed. She thanked him and he informed her that they were even.
Her eyes closed tightly and leaned her hair back. So much more to deal with... Part of her wished this mess was over or had never even happened... Because she knew that now she would never forget the fact that somehow she had gotten to him. Now she would desperately cling to that, but she had just decided to sever all obligations to him...
What a tangled web she spun.
Her head pounded heavily and her stomach churned. She would be puking if it weren't for the fact that her stomach was like a garbage disposal in that it seemed to conquer everything. But her head was killing her. She rolled out of bed, groaning, and stumbled over to her knapsack.
A couple aspirin, a quick shower, and a fresh change of clothes later and she was ready to go. She still had a headache but it was getting better. She pulled on her knapsack and fished out some galleons. She remembered Vito saying she still needed to pay. She figured that was more than fair.
She went and sat on the bed and sat there, staring at the wall, jingling the coins in her hands as she stared at the mirror. She needed to talk to Vito. He had to know what she had discovered. But to say those words aloud made them truth. They changed everything...
Everything was different. And she still had no idea what that meant.