(( There's some serious angst in this post. I'm just going to forewarn you, Soph.
))
Rafael’s eyebrows shot to his hairline at her sudden declaration and he grinned at her. “Are you really?” Rafael didn’t know much about vampires at all but he had that silly notion of sparkly, indestructible, arsonphobic pieces of rock in his head thanks to his sister’s fleeting obsession with that Twilight series. Not only had she sat him down and made him watch all of the films but she’d also had him read the books. They were the worst hours Rafael had ever spent reading in his life. He developed an intense dislike for the characters immediately because they were stripped to the bare minimum personality wise. But thankfully Rafael did know enough to establish fact from fiction. Mynah would have been both excited and disappointed to meet a real vampire. Sparkling ones were her ideal creature. “I’d definitely like to hear that story.” He smiled softly and played with a bit of flyaway wood that had been pulled from the table by too many glasses being rolled across it.
Shaking his head, Rafael met Sophia’s gaze. “But I can. That’s the thing. I turned seventeen a while back and because the Ministry officials had explained the Wizarding World to her when they first told me about Hogwarts...she knew. She was quite happy to see how I fended for myself while trying to keep the children in check.” Rafael sighed and lifted his glass to his lips, drinking some more of the golden liquid. He put the glass down and leaned back in the chair, visibly relaxing. “They just go about life like normal as if I was there. They go to school, they eat, get money out of our mother to pay the bills. My sister, Mynah, is in charge and she keeps the boys in check better than I do sometimes.” Rafael smiled wistfully. “We were born thirteen months apart so we’ve got a close bond. For all intents and purposes we’re the parents while are siblings are the children. It’s a good cop/bad cop regime with my title being the latter. I think I’m too hard on the boys sometimes but they get themselves into too much trouble.”
Rafael kept his mouth shut about the situation with Jaret and Nicolai. He decided not to elaborate. Things were bad when he wasn’t there. He was the driving force and he knew it. He was the discipline. Mynah was too soft whereas he wouldn’t take any of Jaret’s crap and he’d shout at Nico when he got out of control. Mynah would never raise her voice to them, never. That was the problem though. It was his absence that meant that Jaret had his own temporary cell to himself at the police station and Nicolai had nearly broken every car window on their estate. They were just boys and he couldn’t keep them under control. No, Raina was his pride and joy. She was the sunshine while the boys were the rain. He loved them all dearly though. As much as he hated his situation, his family’s situation, he wouldn’t have had it any other way because life without them...it wasn’t worth living.
He could feel himself getting emotional, now. Rafael clamped his eyes shut, willing away the irrational tears that were just begging to fall. Too many tears had been shed over the years but not just by him. He had to do the hard stuff. Mynah couldn’t handle the disappointed, heartbroken looks on Raina and Nicolai’s faces when Vanessa left the house, waving excitedly and ignoring the water flowing freely down her children’s cheeks. But they weren’t her children. They weren’t. He couldn’t remember how many times he’d gathered Raina up in her arms and had her sleep in his bed just to ensure that when she woke up she wouldn’t be scared because she was alone. He couldn’t remember how many times he had to consol Nicolai when he was emotionally at the point of no return having broken windows and fences out of pure anger. He couldn’t remember how many times he had to go and forcibly remove an intoxicated Jaret off of the streets and carry him home. She should have done that. Vanessa and their father...they should have been there. But they weren’t and Rafael had long since accepted that. He was the father that had to stay awake into the night and watch his children sleep, their faces full of peace, just to know that they were safe. With him they were safe and that was the bottom line. Apart from Mynah there was no one else in the world he could trust with them and even so, Rafael knew that she was still a child, a baby that wasn’t ready to do the job that she had aspired to do since her brother began to pick her up and kiss her grazes better and not her mummy. So it was just him, alone doing the job he both loved and loathed at the same time. But they were his responsibility, his children. Not Vanessa’s and certainly not Franco’s because they weren’t there. They were never there. They always had something better than what they had already been blessed with.
“Thank you.” He whispered, opening his eyes once more. Rafael blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall and he lifted up the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up to dab away the liquid that had escaped and pooled on his high cheekbones. “I’m sorry...I don’t usually get so upset. I just...I don’t want to fail them. I don’t want to do what my parents did. I’m scared that every day will be the last day I get to see them because Nicolai has finally pushed our neighbours too far or the police have called social services on the account of Jaret being caught loitering outside Tesco with a bottle of some non-descript alcoholic beverage again.” His lightly tanned hands reached up and gripped his hair. Rafael rested his elbows on the table and he continuously began to streak his fingers through his sandy tresses. The stress, the grief and the sadness was too much for one person to handle. He was throwing all of this at Sophia without even considering for a minute what she must have thought.
School councillors at his old Muggle School had told him that letting people in was therapeutic, that he’d feel better afterwards. Rafael wanted to get to the afterwards as quick as possible because he felt awful. It was as if something was inside of him, ravaging what was left of his sanity and composure. The cracking columns that held up the worry on a silver platter had completely broken and nearly everything had been let out via the storm drains. He just wanted to curl up and die. He should have done something a long time ago. He should have put his foot down. He should have told her that she had to look after them and be the mother she could have been. He should have, he should have, he should have but he didn’t! Why didn’t he? Why didn’t he scream and shout and make a scene when he could have all those years ago. Why didn’t he say something!? Oh yeah, because he was just a scared little boy that didn’t know any better, that didn’t know how to talk to the people that were strangers to him, the people he would have called mum and dad.
by 
