Morning had come after what seemed like a stretch of endless, lost time. Khaat wasn't sure how many hours or days had passed, but she woke, confused, and still finding herself in St. Mungos. She saw bright morning sunlight coming in through the windows. That was her only clue that perhaps she had weathered the storm and a new day had come. Brian was in a "one eye open" sort of doze in the chair beside her. It was the way he slept when he was working. She was so used to it that it was a comforting thing to her.
He'd heard her wake and now woke also. "Do you know where you are?" he asked, getting up and going over to her side. She looked around. It took her a moment to realize this was not the same room she had delivered Abbey in. "No," she answered, confused. The room didn't look all that different. And, actually, it meant very little to her. Almost all of the key services for hospitalized patients were on the same floor anyway--OB, Pediatrics, Surgery, Intensive Care--it was all on the third floor, one floor down from Rob.
"You're in intensive care now," Brian told her very gently, holding her hand, "Your father had no choice. He had to have you moved here during the night. You're letting too much get to you. This whole business with Rob almost killed you. You haven't eaten, you didn't sleep for days, and you still want to do Abbey's care even here--Khaat, I think you've gotten worse than I've ever seen you. I'm not sure you let things get this out of hand even when Remus died."
Intensive Care. Probably a move of her father's to insulate her and nothing more. It was restrictive--not as much as the psych unit, but with Brian on duty, her father hadn't needed it. There weren't many admissions here, and therefore there were more healers per patient. Usually one healer at least, per patient, fairly consistently. She did not believe there had been many changes in her own health since she had given some of her energies to Rob. It didn't feel like it, anyway. She had been pretty numb since then. It would be like her father to insulate her too, especially if he expected any more chaos. It would be a way to steer anyone away that he didn't want to bother her or Abbey. For the first time, she began to think Brian was not telling her the truth.
She'd actually slept through breakfast. The tray sat, undisturbed and cold now, on the bedtable. "I didn't have the heart to disturb you," he said gently, seeing her looking towards the tray. "It looked pretty ugly anyway. I can send for breakfast from LIzzie for you when you're hungry."
"I'm not," she said very softly. Aside from half a bowl of soup Brian had brought her from Sparks at some point, she honestly could not remember when she had eaten last. Her mind, though, had not left Jen and Rob and what would be come of all their lives. She was grieving for Rob already and he wasn't even gone yet. But it was coming. It surely was coming.
"Your father was here early this morning," Brian said. "He did cast another spell to help boost your energies, but if its going to last, you do have to eat. Khaat, you know it will undo everything he's doing if you don't at least do the minimal to try to help yourself. And you don't dare lose an ounce more weight if you hope to be out of here any time soon. You, above all people, know that if you get any thinner, you'll be here long term. Your father won't have a choice. He'll put you in the extended care unit before you know what's hit you. He cannot possibly release you like this, and you know it. Let me send to Lizzie for something for you. Don't do this like this."
"No. I have to see Rob," she said softly.
"I think your dad is working on that," Brian said. "Hang in, Babe. Don't give up. Oh,just so you know, Phae came in and fed Abbey for you. She bathed her and changed her too. We just knew it took you days to finally get to sleep, so we weren't waking you. Abbey's here and she's just fine."
"Brian," she asked softly, thoughtfully, "what will I do when there's nothing left of my life but Abbey? Have you really thought about how ugly this is going to really get? Do you even have a clue?"
"Stop it. Don't think that way. You have countless friends who love you with all they have. You have Abbey to think of. You have your jobs, Sparks, your kids, your wonderful parents. You have a lot to hang on for. This is a rough spot, I agree, but it will work out. And I promise I won't leave you. I will stay--as long as it takes, however rough it gets. I'll be here. I promise you won't be alone or in need for anything."
"Maybe I just want it all to go away!" she retorted, caught between being angry, frantic, and fighting back tears. She'd have loved to have had Jen's habit of pulling out her hair, but it would only make her more ugly than she already felt. Her nerves were raw from stress and exhaustion. And she didn't know if she could stay here one more day. She'd have taken Abbey and apparated out and started running and just kept running, if Rob were not stuck here, so close and yet so far. It kept her here, and, for the moment, it kept her doing her best to behave and do whatever her father asked of her. But if that were to suddenly change, she had no clue what she would do next. All she felt was fear. Deep, deep fear that she would lose Rob forever, and it was more than she could stand. Khaat rarely ever felt terror, but being without Rob--that was true terror for her. She felt Brian's hand on her forehead.
"Enough," he said softly, "Stop. Peace." She felt a relaxation spell taking hold and gently steering her away from the edge of an invisible abyss. Her eyes shut automatically, tears slipping down her cheeks. He brushed them away. "Try to rest. You don't have to sleep, but rest," he soothed, brushing her hair softly.