Sterling's Death Bed (Chase, Thomas, Open)

Chase's eyes flew up to see his face. His face was changing before her eyes. His cheeks sunk, and when he opened his eyes again, they were cold and emotionless, the same black as when he had woken up. His aura was almost pitch black. She gasped slightly feeling the pain, the humiliation, the loss of emotion radiating off of him. She found herself standing up and moving away from him. It was to much to bear. The feeling of his pain was so hard, she had never seen pain this deep before. But his was different, he seemed to have made up his mind. He wasn't going to cry...he was going cold.

"Sterling.."She whispered taking a small step forward. "I..I..I really did..."She took a deep breath and swallowed. "Love you."She whispered. "But...I mean...you have to understand Sterling!"She said her hand clutching her chest. "I'm only 16! What else am I going to do? My father got my mother to say I can marry anyone I want! Except...except for muggles and muggleborns, and that is it. Half bloods..."She said softly. "I can be with a Half blood."She felt tears slide down her cheeks. "I...I mean..I.."She felt her hands start to shake again.

"I'm sorry Sterling!"She said letting her back rest against the wall and she hugged herself around the middle staring at the floor. Tears fell down her cheeks. It had been so much harder telling him then it had been in her thoughts. In her thoughts he had said "It's ok Chase! I still love you! I'll let you be with anyone you want! Even this handsome fellow you call Jesse, what is he a Gryffindor? Oh that's nice!" She couldn't stand this new Sterling. So cold..so distant. A tear fell down his cheek and she started to shake. "I'm so sorry!"She whispered unable to say anything else.

"I completely understand," Sterling said. He was lying to Chase again. "So this Jesse, is he nice?" he asked completely monotonously. Of course he was. Of course he was perfect for Chase. Of course she would never love something like him. Sterling knew he would never be with anybody else in his life. He knew his life may as well be over. He wanted so badly to grant it to some nobler cause, somebody who could find a use for the scum on the bottom of somebody's shoe as himself, make him whole again. He thought wildly of Voldemort. The thought gave him inexplicable comfort.

"I don't hate you Chase." Sterling said softly, but not gently. He picked up his wand, conjured some robes onto himself with a lazy flick of his wand, and walked quickly away from her. He still loved her, but he would never say that out loud, give her the satisfaction of knowing she had duped yet another innocent bystander of her brilliant charm.

"Have a great life with Jesse." he said loudly, but still just as deep, cold and emotionless. "Glad I could... entertain you for a week." Sterling said, blocking the tear that was about to escape his eye. He had stopped walking, he wanted her to say one last thing to him, he wished with all his heart she would just spit out the truth instead of lying to him... tell him she had been toying with him from the beginning. Tell him she hated him. Tell him she had never loved him. It would make him feel better about what he was about to do...

Chase looked at him silently tears spilling down her cheeks. "Entertain me? Sterling! I never meant it to be like that!"She said looking frantic her eyes searching his back as he walked away. "Sterling! No wait!"She said running to him and putting her hand on his shoulder. She pulled it away gasping though. It felt like an electric shock had run through her, and not a pleasant one. One that told her not to touch him.

"If there..if there was some way!"She pleaded staring at his back, just a few feet behind him. "I didn't mean for you to think I was a...a."She gulped and then moved around him to look him in the face. "Please don't.."She said her back to the door blocking the exit. "I..I want to be you're friend! I never played you!"She said tears sliding down her cheeks. "I didn't think you were unworthy or anything like that! I'm not like my parents!"She said her fists clenched at her sides, her hair falling into her face.

"Jesse...he..."She stammered looking up at him with swollen bloodshot eyes. "I...you!"She said and shook her head. "I can't make everyone happy Sterling...and the healers..they..they won't let you out of here yet."She said leaning against the door her body quivering. The door fell open behind her and she fell down hard into the hallway, half sliding out into the hall. "Ouch."She yelped and struggled to get to her feet.

Sterling's eyes softened when Chase fell. He hadn't been listening to her. When she had touched his shoulder, he tried to pour all of his anger at her. He couldn't stand her playing with him again. But when she fell, he suddenly remembered why he had been laying in bed... remembered the point of losing her.

"Chase!" he said, with gentle concern. He reached and grabbed her hand, her warmth warming him to the depths of his soul. He helped her up. She was safe again and the warmth slid away from him.

"My friend Chase? I have never had any friends. Haven't you ever wondered why? Every time I get anywhere near anybody they leave me. Or betray me. Or find some reason to hate me." he said, every word unshaking. "I thought you would be different. I let my guard down. You were just so..." he began and cut himself off before he betrayed the emotion pounding on his head. "But you weren't. I should have known. Nobody's different." he said, looking away from her. He couldn't allow himself to look at her. He felt himself about to be stunned by her again. He wouldn't be able to stand the shame of it. She was looking at him with such concern... but Sterling knew better. It was a mask, she hated him. Everybody hated him. Why had he ever looked up from his books? He could have avoided all the pain he felt now. He sat back down on the bed, glaring at her. The healers wouldn't let him leave, but they could be easily... removed...

Chase stared at him hurt in her eyes. He hated her..he really hated her. He didn't even look at her, those words pouring out with so much...so much of himself in them. But she couldn't even hear the old Sterling anymore. It was gone. The last bit she knew she'd ever see of him again, was when she fell, and he had said her name. The concern, that was gone now. He thought that she played him. Hated him? She could never hate him! "Sterling."She said touching his shoulder again and this time not letting go. "I...I could never hate you."She whispered trying to show how much she meant that. How much she really, really didn't hate him. The only person she hated right now was herself. For letting this happen. For hurting him so much. "But...I realize that you don't...you don't care."She whispered and let her hand drop. She moved away from him seeing how tense he was. Her mind flickered back to the empty classroom, giving him a back rub.

She pushed that from her thoughts though. He hated her. She could tell by the way he talked, emotionless, like it had all been a joke. "Hah! All my Ravenclaw buddies and I were laughing at you the entire time Chase! You fell so easily into my hands!" But was that him talking? Or did he think she did that? Laughed about it to her friends. She felt a pang in her heart. The pang set off another shock of pain in her body. She gasped and fell onto the bed her hand on her heart. The pain was so much worse, it felt...evil. Like it was laughing at her. See what she had done? She whimpered softly tears leaking down her face. "I'm sorry Sterling."She whispered again her whole body shaking.

Chase finally broke through Sterling's new protective shell. He felt his eyes gray a little again, lightening. "Chase, do you mean that?" he asked her. He was sincere in his question. She touched his shoulder and he felt the old adrenaline and crackling electricity rush through him. He was reluctant to let her hand fall, he wasn't going to give this Chase the feeling of satisfaction of knowing she still had him at the palm of her hand. She could still flatten him with her eyes, she could still bring him out of depression, she could still stun him, but he would never, ever tell her that. She had to think that he had been pretending as much as he knew she was pretending... they could look back on the old situation and laugh as good friends... No, she would never be my friend. he told himself again.

To see her cry made him stand up, revealing all his old emotion All his old weakness he told himself. He stroked her cheek, but he knew she felt nothing from it, and he lowered his hand. "Just... just tell me the truth. I want to know. Did you really love me? Do you still? Are you toying with Jesse like you did with me? Or is he really good enough for you?" he asked. He hated himself for letting so much gentleness eek from his voice.

Chase whimpered. "I could never hate you Sterling..the only person I hate is myself."She whispered unable to look at him until he touched her cheek, a tear sliding down and landing on his finger. She looked up startled and was even more startled to see the old gray back in his eyes. Then he asked her the question. His voice so gentle, as though trying to keep HER from feeling pain?! She whimpered again another explosion of pain making her vision blur and her breathing come in short gasps. "Jesse is..everything I've always looked for."She whispered. "He..he told me that if I loved you, He'd be ok with it, he wants to be my friend."She said tears sliding down her cheeks again. "But..he..is THE person."She said crying again her body shaking as another explosion of pain hit her. She cried out and bent over double her eyes shut tight. "I did love you Sterling...but..I don't feel the same way anymore."She whispered her eyes squeezed tight. The shock of the pain wore away and she looked up at him. "Even the curse is telling me I'm stupid."She said trying to make a joke but her face to clouded with tears for it to make anyone laugh.

"It likes to hurt me when I'm emotional."She whispered her eyes leaving his face. "Please...tell me what you REALLY think of me."She whispered staring at the floor. "I want to know what people view me as."She whimpered tears falling down her face again. "Do I seem like I play everyone I meet? Or am I an overactive stupid dumb girl who needs to learn her place? What am I Sterling?"She tore her gaze up to meet his. "What am I to YOU?!"

As Sterling listened to her, he couldn't stop himself from saying "You're everything to me," when she asked him. He felt himself visibly blush but then turn it off again. Then he remembered what she said, I want to know what people think of me,, OH, so he was an EXPERIMENT. He laughed at himself for being so taken by her. "Chase, you're too perfect, too much, and too good. I guess I always needed somebody more my speed. I don't hate you," he said again. His eyes watered but he stopped the tear.

"But I can't let you stop me from joining my new master." he said, raising his wand and pointing it at her. "There's nobody left in this world that loves me, so I can't have any love to offer anybody else." he told her, sobbing. Maybe Voldemort could love him... be like a father to him...

Chase stared at him. He had..his wand pointed at her. "Sterling."She whispered her eyes on the wand. "What..what are you doing?"She asked looking scared. There was no one around, he had been moved to a part of the Hospital where little care was needed. Just a spell used on the patients to turn them over every now and then. They were alone, and he was pointing his wand at her. She stood up quickly backing away from him. "new Master? Sterling no!"She said seeing him sob.

She looked so afraid she almost fell over. She had her hand on her wand though. Ready to defend herself if she had to. She just hoped this was all a stupid mistake. Taking another step backwards she gasped and fell over again. Yelping she pulled her wand out and pointed it at him tears sliding down her face. "Sterling..put you're wand down."She said her voice going firm while she was in a very defenseless position. She couldn't even aim at his heart, or anything, she couldn't see his wand from this position, and the only part she could see was his head. "Put you're wand down."She repeated her voice wavering.

Sterling dropped his wand. He heard it clatter to the floor. "Chase, wipe my memory." he said, pleading with her. He got on his knees, begging her to. [b]"Let me be the person I was before I ever met you." he said.

[[OOC: Don't! ]]