a long road ahead

Without a shadow of doubt, Alex was certain that he had fallen victim to a brutal assault during a full moon transformation. The memory played vividly in his mind—the menacing presence stalking him, the mounting fear that coursed through his veins. He had fought to remain composed, desperately trying to make his way back to the safety of the school grounds. He had come so close, his gaze fixated on the welcoming sight of the opening trees. But then, darkness descended, consuming his consciousness.

As Lily questioned him, her concern evident, Alex's determination burned brightly in his eyes. He knew, with unwavering conviction, what he needed to do. His voice, resolute and unwavering, rang out as he responded, fully aware of the risks that lay ahead.

"I need the Change," he declared, a fierce determination etched on his face. "This is something I must face on my own." The weight of his words carried a profound sense of purpose. Alex understood that the transformative experience of the Change was a crucial part of his journey, an integral step towards embracing and mastering the wolf within him.

His unwavering resolve spoke volumes about his character, revealing a deep inner strength and the unwavering determination to confront his own nature head-on. Despite the danger and the unknown that awaited him, he was ready to embrace the challenge and the growth that would arise from it. With every fiber of his being, he was prepared to delve into the depths of his own identity and forge a path that was uniquely his own.

In that moment, there was no doubt that Alex was determined to face his fate with courage and resilience. The fire in his eyes mirrored the strength within his heart, a testament to his unwavering commitment to self-discovery and the unwavering pursuit of his true self.

This was… This was…

Male nonsense.

Lily knew that was unfair. She was smart enough and had enough empathy to know that people processed trauma differently. Some people wanted to bury it, others broke down. And some, like Alex, wanted to try to make it meaningful, to turn it into something good and productive. And if Lily didn’t have her own baggage, maybe she could have been in a place to support him in that, to see it as potentially beneficial.

But she did have baggage. Because she hadn’t told anyone. She’d holed up in the Shrieking Shack and inexpertly sealed up her own wounds, leaving an ugly scar on her hip she now claimed came from a fall from a tree. She’d gone back to school, jumpy and out of sorts, and had pretended it had never happened until Teddy finally confronted her.

She’d never gone to pieces like that before. Not when her father was presumed dead, not when her mother melted down, not when her brothers moved away. It was this totally meltdown, in her opinion, that forced Teddy’s hand into accepting her plea to not report. She was suspicious he’d made deals with some of the staff, certainly with the Head Matron, but as far as the world was concerned, Lily was no werewolf.

Which is why when she suddenly couldn’t focus in class, and the exhaustion gripped at her bones, and that always-present pain made her desperate enough to concoct illicit potions… the blame landed squarely on her. No one had a reason for the behavior, so it was assumed she was weak-willed and ill-equipped. The Prefect position that had clearly been held for her since second year slipped from her fingers and she only returned to Hogwarts once their disappointment in her had been firmly established.

And so Lily Potter, once brilliant, almost popular, and comfortably social became a pariah. In a twist of irony, she was literally a lone wolf.

So to hear someone mere hours after their own attack face it with not only tolerance, but acceptance. Merlin, he was almost EAGER to take on the challenge.

It felt like a slap in the face, to know she had gone to absolute pieces and lost herself, and he was hoping to find himself.

Her breathing was shallow and she knew her eyes were wide with a mix of incredulity and rising panic as these thoughts raced through her mind. But she couldn’t get into that, and she didn’t want Alex to suffer from her unresolved bullshit.

“Well, I still think you could go,” is what she settled on, her voice flat. She winced as a pain shot from her hip and let out a sigh. “I should rest. So should you.”

Uncertainty clouded Alexander's perception as he struggled to discern whether Lily's tone contained anger or frustration. Regardless, her voice sounded flat, almost cold. The fact that she had listened to him meant everything, as it signified her willingness to let him express his thoughts. However, it was evident that she strongly disagreed with what he believed was in his best interest. He let out a sigh, casting a glance at the other unoccupied beds in the room.

"I'll take some time to consider it," he responded solemnly, "and I'll leave you to rest. But if you're willing to share what's truly going on, I'm here to listen." Shifting once more to find comfort, he concluded, "rest well."

She wasn’t looking his way and so missed the flicker across his face signaling he noticed the shift in her voice. She heard him sigh and he gave a promise to consider it, one she was certain would be empty. She couldn’t fault him for not understanding. His first transformation, he’d be desperate for help. She know she had been.

“I just need rest,” she echoed, feeling a bit hollow as she slipped back under the covers, pulling them up and turning on her side so her back was to Alex. Her heart was pounding and her eyes stung. It had to be the effects of the transformation, stirring emotions deep within her that had long been locked away. She could feel tremors in her stomach, moving up into her ribcage.

A few tears slipped over her eyelids, before she closed them.

“Drink fluids,” she called out, her voice steady. She settled deeper into her pillow, desperate for sleep.

Alex stole one more glance at Lily before averting his gaze. As he lay in silence, his mind began to wander, his eyes idly tracing the intricate lines on the brick wall opposite him. The significance of Lily's insistence on him going to St. Mungo's eluded him. He longed to comprehend her reasoning, but even though she appeared unangry, a veil of secrecy shrouded her intentions. Letting out a sigh, he turned his head once more to observe Lily's rhythmic breathing, finding a momentary solace before succumbing to the gentle embrace of sleep.

After Teddy had ensured Lily was safely tucked away in the hospital wing, he’d gone to rest. He rarely slept on the full moons, mostly out of anxiety for Lily, and frustration that he could do not do more for her. But he’d always felt restless and ill at ease on the full moons, and he couldn’t help but think he’d inherited something of the curse from his father.

He roused closer to noon with a few hours of sleep in him. Food had been delivered from the kitchens and he enjoyed a quiet, private lunch before slipping out into the staff room to gather some of the assignments that needed grading. He’d visit Lily closer to dinner.

How quickly plans changed.

The murmurs of the werewolf attack were confined to the staff room. Some had been sent out to the Forest in search of tracks to better understand where the wolf originated from, and to ascertain what else should be done, what protections and wards could be established.

Teddy hurried towards the Hospital Wing.

The Matron was quick to meet him, clearly intent on preventing students from invading the privacy of the attacked student. Upon seeing Lupin, she bowed away.

He first beelined for Lily, who looked like she had been sleeping for a bit, though there was the slightest look of discontent on her face. He reached out and touched the top of her head, somehow feeling relieved just at the sight of her, whole and resting.

He turned and his heart sank.

Alexander Greengrass looked pale, and even from here Teddy could see the bandages that had wrapped up the horror of violence he had witnessed. Teddy approached, slipping into the chair next to the boy’s bedside, hoping he’d be perceived as a friendly, concerned presence when the boy did wake.

As Alex drifted into slumber, haunting visions from the previous night invaded his dreams, causing him to toss and turn. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead until he abruptly jolted awake, momentarily disoriented before recollecting his surroundings. Time seemed elusive, its passage concealed beyond the perceptible changes he observed and felt.

His arm throbbed with heightened soreness, and the room bathed in an altered angle of light. Lily remained sound asleep, her back facing him, but there was another presence. Teddy Lupin once again sat by his bedside. Alex's voice trembled as he croaked, "P-professor? Why are you here?"

Alexander began to stir, expressions of pain and stress flitting across his brow. The paternal part of Teddy wanted to rouse him and spare him the nightmares, but he remembered the training he’d done with the Lupin side of his family. Instead, he prepared a wet cloth in a bowl of lukewarm water, wringing it out.

When Alex finally woke, Teddy offered him the cloth. “On your forehead,” he softly advised.

He sat back and suppressed a sigh, and tried not to show the sadness he felt for the boy’s condition, remembering Alex’s discomfort with sympathy. He didn’t want to cause him too much stress about how far the news had traveled either.

“Another professor told me there’d been an attack,” he said softly. “My father was a werewolf, so I have a decent amount of knowledge. I came here with the hope of offering support.” He paused, the sadness pressing his lips into the smallest frown. “I didn’t… No one told me who it was. I’m sorry, Alex. Is there anything I can do right now?”

Still grappling with confusion, Alex accepted the cloth from Lupin and placed it gently on his forehead as instructed. His gaze briefly shifted towards Lily, finding solace in her presence amidst the turmoil. The events that transpired would undoubtedly trigger discussions. A professor had discovered him after an attack on the school grounds.

Turning his attention back to Teddy, Alex shook his head, a hint of vulnerability in his voice. "Lily... she believes I should go to St. Mungo's, but I'm reluctant to do so." It wasn't a direct answer to Teddy's question, but Alex yearned for understanding, for assistance in comprehending Lily's fervent insistence.

Teddy knew not to take it personally when Alexander turned away, though he felt bad that the boy still felt uncomfortable opening up to him. But Teddy couldn’t blame him, not after the night he’d just had.

A moment later, he was glad that the boy did not have a view of his face, as the mention of Lily once again surprised him. Merlin, he needed to get clarity from his sister exactly what this relationship was. There was just a bit too much need for her approval for it to be a simple matter of peers.

“I understand your reluctance, though it is the best. The Headmaster may even be required to send you, werewolf bites are serious.” He knew that wasn’t what Alex was asking about though.

He glanced towards Lily’s bed, and watched the steady rise and fall of her breathing. He lowered his voice as he turned back to Alex. “Lily doesn’t always say what she needs to say. She’s action oriented. She’s the kind of person who won’t mention a failed exam but will do your share of the chores and pretend it was a mix up. She’s probably just concerned, and wants you to get the best care.”