decompression

As the words of the poem reverberated through Hayden's mind, he found himself transported back to a painful memory from over the summer. It was the day when his father had walked in on him and his 'friend', and the lines from the poem seemed to encapsulate the many emotions and sensations that had flooded him in that moment.

With his Patch lying beside him, Hayden spoke softly, almost to himself. He had kept this incident a closely guarded secret, confiding only in Ciara. But now, with the words of the poem still ringing in his ears, he felt compelled to open up. "I understand," he said. "I've been through something similar."

The admission hung in the air between them, heavy with the weight of all that had gone unsaid.

The words also reverberated back to him several times over the years, too many times to count. Maybe it was why his parents were so unified and so disjointed about the situation when he told them he wasn't straight. His father was furious about the idea, but his mim as she always was, was calm caring and genuine. Looking back, he was the reason his parents split up due to different opinions on where he stand in his life. He wasn't going to change who he was for anyone, he wasn't going to yield to anyone.

Although it was like a murmur Patch heard him and his features turned sad and hurt by the situation. "I'm sorry if it brought up painful memories, I didn't intend for that." He confided in Maura about the situation thaf happened to him, shs simply told him love was love, you can't help who you love and want. "My father was furious finding out that I wasn't straight, he basically disowned me." Speaking in a soft mur mur he looked at the lake.

The air was tense, but he knew if he didn't tell hin the trurh it was going to haunt him forever in a shadow of what ifs and what could've been.

Hayden shook his head and offered a reassuring smile to Patch. "You don't need to apologize for anything, my friend. You didn't cause any of this," he said, grateful for Patch's support.

Hayden's father hadn't taken the news of his son's revelation well either, and the thought of being disowned lingered in the back of his mind. "He keeps insisting that it's just a phase and that I need to focus on what's important, just like he talks about Cia," he added, rolling his eyes.

However, confiding in Patch felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He knew Patch understood what he was going through, which made it easier to talk about. "My mum just convinced him to let me come back to school after everything that happened, which is why I'm so far behind," he explained with a hint of gratitude in his voice.

" Okay... just seems like I set off some unwanted recollections." Giving him a soft warm smile he bit his lip. "I know I didn't just seem were in somewhat the same boat." Both of their fathers having mixed opinions about how they felt.

Unlike Hayden being feared of disowned he was already disownes by his fafher, the memories lingering in his head like a record playing over and over again. "It's not a phase, it's how you feel and think about wanting love, you can't help how you think and feel your heart does." Rollkng his eyes he shook his head in disapproval, his father was the same way.

Patch knew all to well, what he was going through and there was nothing worse getting disowned by your own father and him leaving. "Oh Hayden I'm so sorry, but I'm glad you're back I missed you a lof." He was here for his friends always, but wifh Hayden he felt different.

Hayden let out a deep sigh, his frustration not only directed at his father but also the rest of the older generation. "What is wrong with them?" he wondered aloud, staring up at the sky in contemplation.

Turning his attention back to Patch, Hayden apologized for his father's behavior. "I'm sorry fathers can be such assholes," he said, sincerity evident in his voice. "But I'm grateful to be back here with you," he added, a small smile forming on his lips. "And with Ciara," he quickly amended, not wanting his best friend to feel left out. "I don't think I could have handled being cooped up in that house with him any longer," he admitted, relief evident in his voice.

Patch could tell by his tensed shoulders that he was perturbed by their father's and the oldee generation. "More keeping the Underwood name alive, generations of them blah...blah." Rolling his eyes in annoyance remembering what his fathsr implied into his head. "Hell if I know, but it's ny life I should litve and love who I want to love." There was anger in his voice but not to Hayden but simply at the ludicrous older generation.

"No need to apologize, not our fault they're in the stone ages and haven't seen the light." Giving him a reassuring smile to calm his nerves and anger. "I'm glad you're back, I really did miss you alot more then you know." Chuckling he nodded. "Can't forget about her, she's one of a kind." Looking at him he frowned. "Like a prison hm?" He knew the feeling all to well.

Hayden turned his gaze towards Patch and let out a light chuckle. "I can't help but wonder if our fathers have been sharing their pessimistic views with each other," he remarked.

He shook his head, wanting to push aside the negativity that had filled their conversation. "But enough of that," he said, "I'm curious, do you have any more poetry to share? You read the last one so well.”

Patch rolled his eyes exasperatedly but Hayden's  chuckle made him chuckle himself.  "Oh I don't doubt it, with this older generation they tend to travel in packs of wolves."

Letting out a blush he nodded his head.  "Of course I do, I got several in here that I love reading."   Looking in his book for a good and happy one he smiled.  "Ah... here we are,  here's a happy one!" Giving him a soft warm smile be began reading.

" Called You are my happiness..

You are my happiness, you are my sun and my warmth.  You are my glow all over filling me with hope.

In the darkest of nights you are the moon and stars, you got through black lightning in the sky to get me through the path.

You are my happiness, you are my pride and joy, you don't make me sad it's being apart from you. You are the one I love and adore, you are ny happiness and I could never ask for more."

As Patch recited the poem, Hayden closed his eyes and allowed the words to flow through the space between them. "That was a lovely one," he reflected. "I can't help but wonder if we'll ever find someone who can fill the void in our lives that it speaks of. The friend from this summer certainly isn't it; he hasn't spoken to me since everything happened." Hayden then looked up at Patch and asked, "Have you met anyone who might fit the bill?"

It was clear by the expression that he had through reciting the poem, it was clear he longed for something exactly as the poem described.  "Indeed it was." Closing his book once again he sighed running his hands through his hair.  "I hope I will find someone to fit that void as well,  I would treat him like he needs to be treated,  although I'm bi I like guys more."   Biting his lip he sighed.  "I had one guy I liked during my trip to America during the holidays,  basically told him that I liked him then humiliated  me in front of his friends and a group of people around the square of New York.  Basically took my feelings and made fun of them and led me on until we were in the square and told everyone and turns out he was straight. " Shivering at the memory he looked down at his feet.