change will come, it's on it's way.

Lily had at one time condemned herself to a meaningless, miserable life. She had let herself wither away, had stopped eating, had given up on any effort required for living. If there had ever been someone more destined for unhappiness, it had been her. Lily had stopped fearing death, had relinquished control of her life. It was as though she had already lost the battle and was just waiting for her body to follow her spirit.

And then she had thought about the people she had harmed in this life, Apollo's name at the forefront. As much as she wanted to let go and fade away, she could not do so without at least trying to balance her rights and wrongs before leaving. And it was why she had ended up standing outside his shop, skin turning cold as she took way too long to gather her bravery. And she had taken a plunge that had changed her life.

Even her worst days since that moment had been nothing to the misery before. Apollo had lit a flame within her chest, a candle flickering inside her ribcage that kept the world from freezing her beating heart. Maybe it was because she had never even dared hope for something like what she felt with Apollo that made it a safe place inside her tumultuous soul. Low expectations yielded greater satisfaction, it seemed.

A frown flickered on her face at the mention of his friends and her stomach clenched - she had to tell him. She responded hesitantly to his kiss, but her hands reached out to catch his hands, squeezing them reassuringly. Her breath was stuck in her throat as she said, "I have to tell you - it's shitty but it'd be worse not to know. Your friends - Mulciber and Carlevaro? I'm not sure they have your best interests at heart." She paused. She knew Apollo could get hot-headed and she was already denying him some of the little company he had. But she couldn't keep it from him either. "I overheard them. It sounds like Aleksa is... interested. In you." She flickered a smile, trying to soften the blow. "I mean, I don't blame her. But I'd be wary."

Something wasn't right. Again. It didn't feel right. And she looked almost guilty, which was of course quite worrying. Mainly because it didn't match Lily's earlier reassurances and care. His face fell as he tried to back off, wondering how he had suddenly overstepped a boundary after everything. But she caught him again, refusing to let him act too quickly.

Confusion took over next. But they were fine, those two. Lily had never struck him as the jealous or possessive type, and he didn't want to believe he was wrong about that. But as she went on his eyebrows lifted dramatically. Seriously? Shit. He hadn't planned on mentioning that.

He pulled his hand away, reaching up to run it over his face, scratching a bit at the bridge of his nose. The other hand held on tighter, though. He had to assure her things were - and would be - just fine.

"Um," he began, clearing his throat before carding through his hair. "Yeah. I, uh, I know. I mean, I thought she was over it, but.. yeah. Not trying to be cocky or anything," he clarified, holding up the hand that wasn't clinging on. The one whose thumb wasn't brushing over the back of her hand. "But last year, when I thought you were gone-" he looked away, "-.. It wasn't anything serious. We were younger - not by that much, I know - but.. it was basically nothing. She knew I had no serious feelings about her, and I knew it wasn't fair. So I stopped it.

"We never-" he stopped, flinching. That wasn't supposed to come up either. Shit. Shifting his weight, Apollo tried to talk himself out of it. It wasn't that big of a deal, surely. It wasn't even true now. He closed his eyes for a moment before finally looking back in her direction. "I'd never.. done that, before."

He pulled his hand away and Lily hated to think she might have stressed him out anymore than he already was, than he already had been for months. She wanted to be a source of lightness in his life, but she also wanted to be a source of protection and truth, and those things weren't always compatible with lightness. Sometimes, they would have to plunge into the dark.

It was a good thing there eyes were adjusting.

She hadn't expected anything other than a surprised response. The fact that he knew was certainly surprising to her, as his patience tended not to extend further than it had to. Still, her lips flickered at his quick correction, always amused by how quickly he assured her he did not think too highly of himself - as if she didn't know that.

She could tell it was hard for him, and she squeezed his hand back, her face relaxed to help him along. It didn't matter. She had been gone. There had been no trust to violate. She had no claim to him then and she was not threatened at all. She knew from the way he looked at her and the way his lips spelled out her name that she did not to worry about his loyalty. She had never even considered doubting him.

She reached up to brush back his hair, lips forming the words that would assure him that she wasn't prying, had only noticed and wanted him to know so he could be aware... But he was swallowing, and shifting his weight, and his eyes were closing because... because there was something he hadn't told her and-

oh.

Well.

That wasn't what she had expected.

A lot of her previous judgments about Apollo had been amended once she actually got to know him, but somehow the stories of him getting around had never settled in her mind. She hadn't given them much thought, as she had no room to judge in that regard, but she had let them remain unchallenged and so this... This was wholly unexpected.

And because she knew what it was like for that to be treated with so little regard, she felt her stomach squeeze as her eyes searched his, and she suddenly pulled into a tight embrace, burying her head into his shoulder, holding him tightly because he had given her so much of himself and she hadn't even thought to consider...

She tilted her head so her lips could get out the words that needed speaking. "Why didn't you tell me? You could have told me. I didn't even think- Apollo." And she tightened her grip on him, rules be damned.

She understood, which - all things considered - was a miracle. Particularly coming from Apollo, who certainly did not have a way with words most of the time. But, then, perhaps that depended on who you asked.

At any rate, he blinked and suddenly she had tugged him back towards her, holding on like she thought some part of him was leaving. Or maybe it was already gone. He just.. well, he didn't get it.

He had never asked. Had never wanted to know, just as much as he did want to know so he could ensure that he never accidentally played into any triggers - even ones she didn't know she had. But that wasn't something he could ask for. That knowledge didn't belong to him, regardless of who he was to her. If she'd wanted him to know, she would've said something. But if Lily had found a way to deal with it and felt he couldn't improve upon that, he wasn't going to complain. As long as she was better, he didn't care how he felt.

And, he couldn't say for sure, but it seemed like maybe she was doing alright, considering he hadn't seemed to do anything overtly wrong. Or if he had, she hadn't told him. Was it a compliment that she hadn't known? Or just proof that it didn't matter, once you found the right person?

Oh. Wait. He was still kind of just standing there, his mind spinning. Had she asked him something? Merlin. Um.

"I-.." He shook his head, finally lifting his arm to curl around her back, hovering more than holding on. She wasn't about to crash this time, and he sort of doubted that she was preparing to let go, given the strength of her attachment.

What could he say, really? He didn't know what she'd asked, and even if he did, it isn't like he would have been able to explain it.

He'd tried. He'd wanted to tell her. But was that not shoving her past in her face? He may have been foolish and selfish and sometimes callous, but he wasn't cruel. He couldn't picture a positive way that the conversation could've gone.

Lily, I- I should probably tell you-.. I've never- I don't know what I'm-

At which point, his lack of experience compared to her obvious superiority in that regard would've been almost painful. Yeah, all those rumors? Untrue. I've been saving myself, or some other bullshit. What's that? You were-? Oh. Right! I saved you. Good thing, huh?

Not that he talked like that, or that he would've. But it would've sounded that way, at least in his head.

No, indeed. That would've been a recipe for disaster, and he knew that without her even telling him what had actually been done.

He still hadn't answered. Salazar himself couldn't have gotten Apollo to speak up, at that point. So he settled on something easy. Something that could probably make up for him having no clue at all what she was talking about.

"Sorry."

Except it sounded more like Sorry?.

Eh. Close enough.

He didn't move within her arms, not at first, and her eyebrows flitted together and she tilted her head towards him, eyes scanning over the limited view she had of his chin and neck. Things just couldn't be easy - no. She knew where this line of thinking went. So quickly it dissolved into a pitiful attitude, a certainty that the world was against them. They had enough going against them to feel helpless to change their situation.

She knew Apollo didn't have the options she did. So if one of them had to believe that things could go their way, it was going to have to be her.

Was it only a year or ago, two years ago, that she had nearly lost the will to live? Was this a Weasley/Potter trait that had lied dormant within her? Or did she just love Apollo enough that she was willing to stand up for him?

She felt his arms move but he didn't pull her close like he usually did. He didn't sound convinced by his own words and she stepped back so she could look at him, eyes searching his for clues, clues that he would be okay and things would get better, but he was the one suffering at the public opinion of angst-filled, prying teenagers. As a professor, solitude was expected. For Apollo, it only heightened his misery.

Lily gripped his shoulders and met his gaze firmly. "When the school year is over, we'll talk about everything. Everything. Write down whatever I need to know about you, whatever you want me to know, and everything you want to know about me. I love you, and I want to share everything with you. Whatever I have is yours."

Apollo wanted to reach for her as well, but he was honestly more concerned about the fact that Lily needed to know he was paying attention, listening and taking in what she asked of him. So he nodded a little, on and off when appropriate, even as his fingers itched to take back his surprise and properly hold her this time. They didn't have a lot of time and he wished he had taken every moment they'd been given. But she was right. Their time would come. And then he could decide whether or not it was appropriate to ask her those things.

"Same," he agreed rather lamely. "You know I'd tell you anything if I could find the words. I'm sorry I couldn't just now. That was.. Well, I didn't really intend on bringing it up unless you asked." He shrugged a little, his eyebrows flicking towards each other before settling out again. Then Apollo took a breath, clearly preparing to say something. But he held it. And then he reached up for her hands. "It's not like I'm .. embarrassed or anything. I wouldn't have wanted it to be anyone else, but -- we both know there's more to it than that. There always is.

"So, you're right. We'll need that."

His eyes slid towards the door. Apollo was starting to feel bad for Ace, considering she was undoubtedly still out there waiting for them. He brought one of Lily's hands up to his lips before lowering it again as he looked back at her. "..How long do you think she'll wait before breaking in and murdering me?"

Part of her, the reckless self-indulgent part, was trying to remind her that a typical detention last at least an hour and that perhaps they had that time. But she knew that someone could arrive at any time, just to pop in and check. If Lux had heard, she was probably already assuming something more than a detention was going on. She knew Ace wouldn't let someone just storm in, but there wouldn't be much they could do. It was dangerous. And it was a bad habit. They needed to start actually sticking to the boundaries they had set.

She just really didn't want to.

She nodded. "I understand." There was so little she could say that wouldn't open a can of worms they simply didn't have the time for. She had checked in with him. She had warned him. She had reminded him that she loved him and that she was rooting for him. It was mission accomplished.

She didn't need a Time Turner, she needed a Time Stopper. Just freeze everyone else so they could enjoy their moment.

She smiled against his hand, a flicker of pleasure that he was being so considerate. "I'm sure she's stewing in hatred right now," Lily teased, rubbing her hand up and down his arm. "I do feel bad about it, but it wouldn't look right, just you and me... And she was there. Hopefully, she'll forgive us."

Ace was currently muttering to herself as she scrawled out a list of names on a piece of parchment. One side said To Recruit, the other To Monitor.

Lily let out a sigh. "We'll say I gave you two a stern talking to before I realized my Wolfsbane had stewed and needed tending. I don't want to keep Ace - and I'm not allowed to keep you." She flickered a smile for him, squeezing his hand.

"I'm sure we'll find a way to make it up to her. As if we haven't given up enough already," he pointed out, unable to stop himself. But it wasn't said with as much venom as one might expect. In fact, he shot her a wry look and almost smirked.

He was shocked, somehow, to realize that people around the school knew about the werewolf thing. Of course they did. So he just nodded, but lifted his chin challengingly. "Not yet," Apollo countered, eyebrow lifted.

He did smirk that time. It quickly softened into a smile as he turned to face her properly. He'd accepted that it was essentially time for him to leave, but he felt an undeniable urge to leave them both with something strictly positive. So he took small steps towards her until he could plant a kiss at her hairline.

"Not yet," he repeated softly. His hand drifted up her arm and across her shoulder, fingers brushing over the column of her neck as it settled. "Soon, though." And then, with a kiss and a smile, he reached for his wand so he could unlock the door.

As he reached it, he collected his book bag and turned to look at her. "Wait for me, love," he requested with a wink. Then he knew it was time to relieve Ace, so he twisted the handle and let it swing open.

Apollo walked out and across the front of the classroom before lifting himself up onto the table next to where Ace was writing. His hands clutched the edge of the table as he looked down at her list. He pointed vaguely at the second list. "You can take me off of that one, mate." Of course, he hadn't checked to see if his name was even on it, but it was the first attempt at a joke he'd made around Ace in months.

Ace knew the facts about what was happening, of course, and Apollo didn't think for a minute that they looked even half-riled up enough to have done anything - even with Ace's limited knowledge of what might have happened. But he wasn't looking forward to answering any questions she might have.

So he stuck to Lily's story. "So she said we ought to head out," he told Ace, looking up at the Gryffindor in question. "Needs to tend her wolfsbane potion."

She tilted her head at his comment, but found that he wasn't actually as irritable as the words sounded. Lily had noticed that Ace was not quite in agreement with Christian on the whole needing her help thing. Ace tended to take the road less travelled, the one where there were fewer people, and Lily had not missed some of the hostility directed her way, though it had been waning, as of late. This had certainly screwed that up, though.

Not yet.

She couldn't keep him yet.

But later. Later she could. She wondered if his face softened because of the same fluttering in her chest she was feeling, the freefall of her stomach, and the slight spinning of her head because she had found someone she loved and he loved her back, and even though they had never really gotten the chance to air it out, to talk about the future and their plans and their hopes, it seemed apparent enough that both were counting on the other to be there.

Lily had never been able to get someone to stick around for the present. And now she had someone booking up her future.

She returned his kiss, finger reaching out to catch him at the waist, wishing for that elusive Time Stopper to freeze this moment. And he was walking away, and she knew it would be awhile before she had a moment alone with him, so she sent out her best wishes and her high hopes out the door with him.

Merlin, I hope he can do this.

Ace lifted her head at his approach and frowned as pointedly at possible at his foolish attempt at a joke. As if he'd be on any list of hers. He caused enough problems just being related to Christian, let alone involved. Merlin, if they were any closer, the entire mission of Potter's Army would probably turn into Apollo Surveillance and Protection. Dumb.

And when were they mates.

"Oh man, just when I was starting to learn the error of my ways," Ace said, gathering her things and shoving them into her bag. "I was thinking about all I had done, and how I plan on turning a new leaf." She stood, the chair screeching - she hadn't planned that, but she'd take it. She tucked it back in and gave Apollo a dull look. As if any of that had even been convincing. She pursed her lips, a scoff begging to spill out - and there it went."Wolfsbane."

And she turned towards the door.

Wolfsbane. Full moon. Transformation. Apollo's eyes flicked back to Lily's door, half wishing she had come with him into the other room. If only because he missed her already. But, thankfully, not in the way he had before. But Ace? Ace was pissed off.

Wow, he thought as she stood up. Touch-yyy.

But he stood as well, reaching for the charm beneath his robes without even thinking about it. Ace wouldn't figure that out - nobody had. And even if she did, who cares? Wouldn't change what she already was aware of.

"Hey," he snapped, a little too loud. Apollo crossed his arms over his chest, his stance and tone implying that he completely expected her to stop and listen to him. "I'm sorry, alright? But we wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for the PA. Complain to Christian if you want to, but I asked her to say yes. To help. So lay off her, you understand?

"This is on me."

And although he anticipated a sharp, sarcastic retort about how she already blamed him for everything, Apollo knew he needed to stick something else in there.

"Christian doesn't want me around, so I had to give him his best chance. I know he's got you, but having someone who can use magic on the outside might just save him someday. You should be grateful that your best mate has people who love him enough to give up their happiness for him. You should be grateful that Lily and I actually rather like you, because I sure as hell wouldn't be staying out of your way if we didn't."