[OPEN] I wanna shoop

Peter was just being a prat.

Breakfast conversation had somehow circled the topic of Valentine's Day, one of Peter's female admirers being less than subtle with her hints about her hopes for the holiday. First Peter had shot down Julian's proclamation that they had to go stag and raise hell. Then he poked holes in the idea of going to Hogsmeade to sneak Firewhiskeys. And Julian knew someone had kidnapped his best friend when the Quidditch player said a party didn't sound like a good idea. Julian might have made a bit of a scene, his fake faint broken when he slipped and put his elbow in the eggs. But it was enough to get Peter's attention, to get him to answer what his problem was.

"Dude what does it matter to you anyway? You don't even have a date."

So that's how it was.

Julian could get a date if he wanted to. He just didn't want to limit himself.

Still, as he bolted from his History of Magic lesson, his new copies of The Quibbler and Witch Weekly tucked under his arm - best not be judging - in muggle clothes because he forgot to laundry (that took points away, you bet your butt it did) it struck him that he could show Peter who was boss just this once and maybe get a date before he did.

It just took some Gryffindor bravery.

The sixth years were heading towards their free period, seventh years coming in from outside, fifth years heading out for their lessons. It was a perfect storm for all the ladies of Hogwarts to get the proposition of their lifetimes.

He jumped onto a bench and curled the magazines, turning them into makeshift paper megaphones. "Yooooo. Ladies of Hogwarts. Julian Kapur is taking applications for dates this Valentine's Day. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! Who wants to get in on this now? The offer won't last long!"

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To be completely fair, he had that coming.

What did he have coming? Well, the red mark on his left cheek probably answers that question. And probably the angry girl that was walking away from him. Cronis held his hand up to the cheek that felt like it was on fire as he watched Hit walk away, not running or even calling out after her. He was too busy trying to register what had just happened. In his mind, he hadn't done anything wrong. Finally, he turned to the other Gryffindor and his brother, who'd been watching what had happened. Freyja had her hands clasped over her mouth and Evander was wincing.

"What exactly-"

"Dude, that was so not cool." Cronis was cut off by his brother, who's wince had gone away and was now replaced by a frown. Evander shook his head at his brother and ran passed him, heading toward a flustered Hit who he thought was probably crying from anger now. Freyja stayed behind with the Slytherin, her hands dropping from her mouth to be placed on her hips.

"You know, normally I'd be trying to defend you but this time Evan has a point. You kinda crossed the line there, Cro." She sighed, moving one hand from her hip to her forehead.

"But I didn't do-"

"- anything? You think you didn't do anything wrong?" Freyja was actually getting frustrated with him. That was only a surprise because since fifth year, she was always really patient with him, no matter what the situation was. "You told her she'd never get anyone to like her in time for Valentine's Day, Cronis! Do you know what that does to a girl like Hit? She's already self-conscious as it is and you just.." Freyja couldn't even finish her sentence. "You have to apologize, come on."

The Gryffindor took Cronis by the wrist and pulled him along to chase after Evander and Hit.

It didn't take long to find them, there wasn't really many places where they could go, especially since Evander was following Hit and she only liked to hide in two places in the entire castle(it was really helpful in times like these). But they hadn't found them in either of those places because they were stopped around a large group of students who were gathered around something. Someone, more like.

The two managed to catch the end of what was being said, and Evander turned to see Freyja and Cronis walking up. Hit moved away from Cronis, a hurt look on her face. "The hell is going on here?" Freyja asked Evan, who shrugged. "Your housemate over there is trying to get a date, it looks like." Cronis winced at the sentence, if it was just that.. why was Hit standing there? Surely she wasn't thinking-

"Oh for Merlin's sake. Kapur, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Freyja said with a hand on her hip, finally releasing Cronis' wrist.

"Don't you have anything better to do than bother everyone with this load of bull?" Cronis added shortly after, though it was only because he'd started to get jealous from what he was thinking, even if it wasn't true.

"Why so upset, Yaxley?" Clair interjected. "You afraid one of these girls might actually wanna date him?"

Clair might have had terrible grades, be he wasn't a Ravenclaw for no reason. Though sometimes, he did wonder how he hadn't ended up a Slytherin. Perhaps he was simply too mugglish for that house to have him. Either way, he figured this was a perfect opportunity to find out the answer to something he'd always wondered about the quirky Gryffindor.

"Oi! Jules!" he called out. "You'd take Yaxley, out, right?"

As the words came out of his mouth, Clair realised the problem with his strategy. Declining to date Cronis wouldn't actually confirm anything about Julian's sexuality. Merely his taste.

Julian had attracted a small crowd, but it was an ever-moving, ever-morphing sort of of mob, as it took each passerbyer less than five seconds to realize it was just Kapur up to his usual shenanigans before they continued on their way, eyes rolling and heads shaking.

The Yaxleys and Co. were nice enough to pay him a bit of a longer visit, though it was his ally( supposedly - he thought darkly) who spoke first, Podmore the epitome of sass as she called him out. A chorus quickly followed, and Julian would have been bothered if it wasn't helping people stick around. Which meant a higher likelihood of someone taking him up.

"Yeah, are you?!" Julian echoed after Clair, smirking at the Slytherin who seemed so moody. But then Clair continued, and an incredibly defensive, "NO!" stumbled out of his lips in a surprised yelp. He put his hands up, glancing at all gathered and assured them, "Not that there's anything wrong with that. This guy's all about the ladies, though." Again he smirked, adding a little wiggle to his hips.

That'd do the trick.

"Tch, of course not." Cronis scoffed. That sentence wasn't totally untrue. He didn't care if any of the other girls took Julian up on his offer, only Hit. He still wanted to ask her about that but it didn't seem like he would be able to any time soon since she wouldn't even look at him.

He'd stiffened after Clair continued, believing for a split-second that Julian would actually consider it. The thought was quickly rejected at the rather defensive 'no' that was received after the question. Cronis heard giggling coming from behind and beside him, meaning his friends were laughing at him and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be insulted or relieved, if he was honest. Not that he cared that much about it, besides Julian's comment went for him as well. And right now he was only interested in one person, even if she flat out rejected him.

Man, that sounded lame.

"I think you should quit while you're ahead, Julian." A voice sounded from behind Freyja and Cronis. The Slytherin turned his head slightly to see Hit looking at other Gryffindor. "Unless you want to be completely let down when no one takes you up on your offer." She finished with a shrug and Cronis felt himself ease up. So she wasn't thinking about accepting what he was putting out.

That was good, at least.

Julian's reaction was priceless, but not entirely unexpected.

"Nobody who's ever seen you could doubt you're all about the ladies," Clair replied loudly as he strode forward to hoist himself up on the bench beside the Gryffindor.

There wasn't much room up here, which was just as well, for the half-formed notion in Clair's head.

"You've seen Playwizard, haven't you, Jules?" he asked quietly. Quietly enough nobody else should hear above the bustle of students passing by.

Green eyes searched brown ones, Clair knew only that Julian was desperate, had no idea how far he might have gone to slake his thirst, especially after that squeak of denial a moment ago. And despite being an entire year younger, he didn't want to scare the kid.

"Must've done, a horny bugger like you."

"Those issues with the lesbians, hot aren't they? You know, girls like that sort of thing too. Some of them really get off on seeing two guys together. Makes them want what they can't have, see?"

His voice had dropped into a lulling cant, and Clair had sidled closer to Julian while he was talking, as though the other boy was a wild animal that might bolt at any moment.

"It's not really gay if you're not gay. No homo, right?"

Everybody was a critic.

Of course, no one was going to admit that he had the most stones for even taking such a bold approach. He knew they would all look back on this day as the day that proved he was perhaps one of the most clever and brave students at Hogwarts, when he was taking the hottest (he presumed) girl in Hogwarts out on a date for Valentine's - all because he had that nerve to get up and advertise what he was selling.

He knew this would all pan out for the best. He had no concerns to the otherwise.

Hitame's voice rose above the babble and he cocked his head, grinning. "You talk as if this brilliant plan isn't going to work. Faith, my old friend, faith."

Clair got it. Even if he had been a bit off base vis a vis the whole dating Yaxley bit, it was evident that the Ravenclaw could see how this whole confidence thing was setting Julian up for success. He jumped up onto the bench and, rather than resenting him for taking any of his spotlight, Julian grinned and clapped a hand on the other boy's shoulder, smirking over at Cronis as though he had just gained a disciple.

Clair's question was sudden, and almost random, causing Julian to whip his head towards him. Of course he had. He had three subscriptions - The Quibbler, Playwizard, and Witch Weekly. (He refused to be ashamed of the third one. He loved gossip and their moisturizing lotion in the November issue was proving to be a godsend). Clair was still grinning devilishly, and it was infectious, causing a matching smirk to form on Julian's lips. "Oh yeah I do," he said, nodding along with Clair's words.

But the proud smirk was slowly and subtly replaced with a look of confusion. "Really?" he said, a tone of disbelief thick on his tongue. He glanced towards the crowd again, before his eyes darted back to Clair's. "I haven't heard that. Like, at all."

Clair took another step closer and there was something just a bit too personal about the way Clair was trying to reel him in. His space invaded, he took a step back, only to find that he had run out of bench. He began to tumble backwards, his arms windmilling, before one reached out and grabbed at the nearest thing for support.

Which just so happened to be Clair.

shamelessly mucking up posting order.  sorrynotsorry
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Clair felt his shirt pull tight across his back as Julian grabbed a handful to steady himself.  He tried to reach out to the other boy, wrap an arm around his back to haul him back onto the bench properly, but his hand just brushed ineffectively across Julian's side.

And then their fragile equilibrium broke and they both fell to the floor.

It hurt.  Julian was the type of boy who was all skin and bones and Clair landed partly on top of him, with those bones poking into his side.

Ignoring the pins and needles sensation that had burst across his skin, Clair pushed himself up, but swung a leg across Julian's hips to keep him in place.

"Merlin's sake, Kapur," he complained, "y' could've just said no."

Freyja could hear Cronis' laughter ringing in her ears after the two boys fell from the bench they'd been standing on. She'd also heard the rather loud gasp that had escaped Hit's mouth when they'd begun plummeting from that height. It had probably been because she was about to retaliate to his comment before they fell. All she could do was sigh because it had been pretty obvious that they were going to fall at some point.

She hadn't expected it to be like that, though. Frankly, she was a little bit disappointed with the way they'd fallen. The more she looked at them as she tilted her head to the side in thought, the more she thought the scene would look better if Julian had been on top. Maybe that was just a weird thought she was having, though.

Shrugging it off, she went over to the two boys and leaned forward to them. "You two okay?" she asked, forgetting that just a moment ago they had been basically teasing Julian. The realization that Hit had also been doing it hadn't hit Freyja yet, but it probably would soon.

What Frey wasn't sure of, though, was whether or not she should extend her hands to them. Even if Julian took her hand, would Clair let him get up? He kind of had no choice, she reassured herself and that meant he would have to get up as well, so her hands slowly extended toward both boys in an attempt to help them.

Clair put in a valiant effort to stop what was quickly becoming inevitable, trying to catch him around the middle, but Julian was already falling by the time Clair got any sort of grip on him, and the two of them were falling.

Julian wasn't exactly... muscular. The little Quidditch he did play just seemed to burn any excess fat he might have on his frame, further slimming down his already stick-y figure. So to land flat on his back with a smirking Ravenclaw on top of him... His breath quickly rushed out of his lungs and he could tell his shoulder blades were going to be bruised.

He could hear someone asking if they were okay and he weakly waved a hand, the frailty of the gesture evidence enough that he might need help. He winced and tried to sit up, suddenly meeting the gaze of Clair who had all but trapped him underneath him.

Julian blinked, staring at Clair in confusion, as Podmore stepped over to help them up. Julian tried to sit up again, but Clair's leg was severely impeding his progress. "Eh, Sauvage. Let me up."