Interrogation

My name's Selwyn Michael Thorfinn.

I was born on the 23rd of May 2007.

It was a home birth.  Our family's big on home births.  And it's not like you need a hospital when you have a castle.

My parents names are Michael and Josephine

My brother's name is Christian.  He's only just started at Hogwarts this year.

Lol.  Uh, my father is a laird.  It's like a fancy Scottish lord.  There basically is no higher economic status.

Social status is hard to say.  I'm not pureblood, and I'm like, a quarter veela too.  Some people have a problem with that.

I'm half Scottish and - no, that's a lie.  Three quarters Scottish and one quarter German.  But the part of Germany my gran is from is right on the Franco-German border, and also it's all Veela clans, so it's actually this kind of mutant culture.

Does Hogwarts count?  I mean, I suppose it does since I work there now.  I've lived in Glen Coe, obviously, since that's where my family lives.  When I'm at work I live at Hogwarts.  And I also have an apartment in London.

I went to Hogwarts.  I was in Slytherin house.  Was a Chaser on the house Quidditch team.  I was chosen for the Quadwizard Tournament in fourth year, which was like a mini Triwizard Tournament.  I set the Whomping Willow on fire.  That's pretty much the highlights of my school career.

I mean, I can force people to become infatuated with me, but I don't think that's a skill.  More like a curse.

Actual skills... I'm really good at charms and, like, anticipating what people are going to do, sort of thing.  I have good gut instincts.  Buuuut, I don't like to rely on that too much.

My actual job is being the heir to my father's estate, and marrying some lovely woman post haste and begetting a child on her, as is my duty.

But I have also lowered myself to working at Hogwarts as their Care of Magical Creatures professor.  I never took Magical Creatures at school, but apparently being one qualifies me for the position.  Oh, and I'm the Deputy Headmaster now, because they go through staff so extraordinarily quickly.

I mean, I wouldn't say no to joining a punk rock band.  Not sure how many punk rock bands need pianists, though.

I've honestly only been here and to France and Germany.  I haven't even been to Mykonos.  

I'm really bad at keeping friends.  Or making friends.  I'm really good at doing dumb things to make them hate me.

I think it depends who you are.  My students seem to think I'm some stodgy old fart who just can't understand them.  Which I think is a bit hilarious, since I haven't even been out of school that long myself.  And other adults seem to think I'm an overemotional wreck who just can't understand them.  So I guess the general consensus is that I just don't understand.

It's complicated.  Well, that was always bound to be the answer to one of these questions.  But I could cheat and say right now I live at Hogwarts so technically I live with all the staff and students. But I know what you mean.

So really, it kinda goes back to last holidays.  Or like, a bit before, but no need to get into that.  Anyhow the current situation is that Addie lives in my London flat.  I used to be living there too, but over the holidays I stayed at Shylock's. And then Mum and Dad sent Christian down early because he had to buy all his school things before he got the train (and of course, they didn't know I wasn't at home) so that made things even more awkward.

I fight with Shylock.  But then, making up with him is usually worth the inconvenience of the argument, even if he does always win.
I fight with Addie, which is less pleasant, since I don't think she really understands what I'm trying to tell her and we just end up having another fight next time we see each other.
You'll think this is really childish, but I fight with Christian.  But he's so annoying when he doesn't wanna do something.
I fight with my veela cousins.  Their nickname for me is "Mutt".  I'll let you draw your own conclusions.
And I used to fight with most of the Order, but that's not a problem anymore.

I spend most of my time with students.  That's just the way it ends up, yaknow?  Other than that, I spend my time with Shylock because he actually gives a shit.  Sorry, I'm getting bitter.

Oh, and like, I see Teddy Lupin sometimes in the staff room. Is he the school counsellor?  Should I be sending all those kids who come to talk to me to see him?  I'm the Deputy Head, I should probably know what he does by now, huh?


TBC...

Shylock Beta Ashcroft

28th February 2008

Calderdale Royal Hospital

Lionel Ashcroft and Frances Lindsay

Monroe Alpha, Destrey Gamma, Cassabian Delta, and Lusk Epsilon

Our economic status was very stable.  

I'm not entirely sure about that.  I think a lot of people have assumed we're pureblood.  Mum and dad were always very emphatic about us learning pureblood manners.

Caucasian till way back.

Connistone Hall, Hogwarts, Camden.

Hogwarts.  I was best at Potions.  

Unless you count dating every girl you see as an extra-curricular?

The only problem I've ever solved with my particular set of skills was the problem of being single.

I'm the Daily Prophet's advice columnist.  It's way less interesting than it sounds.  I don't think the wizarding world is prepared for something as innovative as an advice column.

Be part of a dance company. I used to want to be Principal with the Royal Ballet (because of course) but I'd take soloist. I'd take any dance company.

Well, my best friend is Jane. She's the most normal person I know and haven't slept with.
Selwyn I suppose has to be counted.
Lily's... I dunno. She might be a friend or might be planning to run off.
Christian. I think Christian's pretty cool. It's relaxing to be around a kid who only cares about being allowed to watch action films and who gets the last slice of pizza.

You mean you haven't heard? People think I'm the bike of London. Everyone gets a ride.

I live with myself. Sometimes I let Selwyn live with me, but only if he asks very nicely.

I don't fight with my parents. Nobody fights with my parents. I think the universe might stop if anyone tried to tell my parents they were wrong. I just present myself in a way they're embarrassed by, and they make passive-aggressive remarks about me.
I don't fight with Monroe. It's not worth fighting with Monroe since he's already made up his mind, anyway. I do yell at him sometimes so he doesn't worry, though.
Destrey likes taking me by surprise, so obviously I've fought with her before. I didn't want to lose an eye. I'd prefer to avoid her now, though.
I fight with Selwyn all the time. He can be so stupid. He never, ever, sees what's right in front of him.
I have been known to disagree with my doctors. Healers. Whatever.

TBC

Hi, I'm Destrey.

Destrey Gamma Ashcroft.  That's Gamma, not Gemma.

Look at you, being cheeky!  You should know a lady never answers that question.  But my birthday is August 15th, if you'd like to buy me a present.

Calderdale Hospital.

My parents are Lionel and Frances Ashcroft.  You've probably heard of them.  They host a lot of events and things.

Three brothers and a sister.  Monroe, Shylock and Cass, and Lusk.  

We're not royalty or anything, but we're pretty far up the pecking order.

Hmm, nobody really knows, but basically caucasian.

Just at home and Hogwarts.

I think the only unique skill I have is persuasion, really.  I can be very persuasive.

I'm the Defence Professor at Hogwarts.  I've done some other things too, but none of that payed as well.

Honestly, I wouldn't need to do something else if I didn't want to.  Mummy and Daddy can afford to pay for me.  I suppose if I had to choose, I would go into potions.  It's kind of a family talent.

Oh, I've never been out of the country.

My best friend is my darling brother.  We're what they call Irish twins, so we've been close practically since we were born.

I intimidate people. Not on purpose, of course. Some people just have a problem with a woman with brains, you know? I'm no angel, but some of the gossip is truly far fetched.

I live with my family, mostly. Or the people at Hogwarts, I suppose.

I don't like to fight with people. Fighting never did anyone any good. It's a good thing I'm so persuasive.


TBC