over the moon

Lily supposed the risks outweighed the benefits. Right, so the risks certainly outweighed the benefits. But she now had a singular point of irrationality in her life, and it was very difficult not to indulge it. She had done well so far. Though they had certainly not broken things off, she and Apollo had displayed a commendable amount of restraint so far in the year. It had certainly not been easy, and the occasionally icy glares from Christian and Ace, more originated from the latter, had not been helpful.

But she supposed she was doing fine. Her class required a lot of set up, and she was not stingy with giving homework, so she managed to keep busy enough. It was this, the remaining busy, that helped.

But as Halloween drew near, and the other staff prepared for the big holiday, she found herself distracted from her busy schedule as the full moon's influence seeped into her bones and itched at her sense of comfort. She still felt horribly uncertain with transformations so close to the school, even though her work-in-progress extra-strength wolfsbane seemed to be working.

Apollo had wanted this. She reminded herself of it. She certainly wasn't against it, not completely, but she was a bit hesitant. Her wolf side had already messed up with Apollo before, and she was worried for something to go wrong. But she had prepared. Her wolfsbane was with her, she had stowed some at the shack, and she had an overnight bag packed.

She left first, since she was the one on a deadline, and she made her move before the sun even set during the final class period of the day, moving casually and swiftly. She knew she had to wait for Apollo's class to end, so she settled in with a book after a quick tidying and tried not to consider the many things that could go wrong, instead savoring the anticipation of some privacy, finally.

#ReadApollily

The semester, thus far, had felt quite tedious. Except, he supposed, for his potions classes. Apollo had made a point of irritating Christian as much as possible since they were only in the same room a couple times a week. The boys hadn't seen each other again, after Apollo moved out, until their father had convinced Professor Hayes to bring them to Hogwarts to ensure their safety. The train, obviously, hadn't been an option.

But his favorite time for bothering Christian was while Lily was teaching, or when the class was working on an assignment she had given.

Why? Well, that was probably obvious to Ace, though he doubted anyone else had caught on. Ace, of course, because she was the medium through which he most often made Christian angry. No one liked when their best friend was being made a fool of, or when they were upset. Christian just hadn't realized that that was who Ace was for him now.

Perhaps once he figured that out, he could apologize to Andre, Molly and Margo for skipping out on their adventures.

But no matter how Apollo looked at it, he just knew that Ace had figured him out. His reasoning, unfortunately, was quite immature. See, it was a really easy way to get Lily's attention when he was probably not supposed to. And it was a reason that they could use for her so much as looking at him, other than the important one.

Apollo was nothing if not sneaky, he felt.

And that, arguably, was why it was so easy for him to sneak his way out of the school without having to even sneak. The family store was good for one thing, and that was the fact that Professor Hayes agreed to let him leave the grounds with the excuse of going to check on the inventory. Apollo hadn't actually put in time there in weeks, but Hayes didn't know that. The Headmaster had made a deal with the Ministry to help students get apprenticeships and this was a perfect example. Except it wasn't. And Christian hadn't been told that the excuse was being used, so really, the older twin was golden.

With a backpack slung over his shoulder - definitely not filled with papers and things for work, like he had suggested - he stepped into the floo, landing at the shop. And then he stepped back in, appearing in Hogsmeade not a minute later.

It felt rather phenomenal to realize he was outside of that castle and its grounds, but all the more so because he was on his way to see Lily. Looking up at the shack as it appeared in front of them between the trees, he carded his fingers through the front of his hair to push it back. The sun blinded him a bit as he stepped out from under the trees, but a smile pulled at his lips anyway. Finally. He hadn't been given a chance to properly talk to her since the school year started, and now they had time for once. Sure, the circumstances were questionable and their conversation would inevitably be cut short when her change came upon them. But it was something.

So he glanced around, then pulled the door open and stepped inside. After a lean or two in either direction to look for her, Apollo decided to check upstairs and was not disappointed. Letting his bag slide down to his elbow, he crossed his arms and shifted his weight. When his shoulder met the doorframe, he tilted his head and felt the smirk that stretched his cheeks.

"Afternoon, professor."

At the end of a page, Lily felt her joints beginning to lock up. She slowly unfolded her legs beneath her and moved across the room, already feeling a tightness in her muscles and an ache in her bones, the promise of the pain to come. She felt her knees pop and her shoulders strain as she moved, being incredibly deliberate with the shifting of her weight and the flexing of her body to try and minimize cramping later.

She reached the window and placed a hand on the sill, looking out on the countryside, once again wondering how many other werewolves would be taking to the countryside for their transformation. If she were more pack-oriented, she might have cared to explore, but she had never had much of a  sense of werewolf pride. Besides, tonight she had her pack with her.

She felt that private, reserved-for-one smile tug at her lips and she turned, trying to hide it with an irritated tilt of her head and lift of her eyebrow. "Git." But she was already crossing, setting her book on a once-dusty dresser before she reached him, hands alighting first to his chest before slipping up and around his neck, bringing her lips to his.

Merlin, it had been so long.

She pulled away, but remained close, remained within his grip. She might have been struck by the weight of this closeness, by the implications of each point of contact, but either she was too new to her job for it to be fresh, or she simply did not care enough, because all thoughts of Restricted and Against the Rules paled beneath her simple feelings of missing him and his touch. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his neck and let out a sigh. "Hi."

Her response pulled a smooth chuckle from his chest, and he glanced down for a second before meeting her gaze again. When her hands reached for him, though, Apollo released his arms so his bag could slump onto the wooden floor.

The next thing to escape was a gentle hum as he met her kiss. Yes, much too long.

His hand had found her side by the time she pulled away, the other curling around her back and up to her shoulders as she leaned in to rest against him. As his cheek pressed into her hair, he smiled again, pretending that his skin hadn't reacted so strongly as her breath brushed over it.

"I've missed this," he confessed, almost too easily. "I've missed you."

Holding on a bit more tightly, he let loose a sigh of his own. "And.. I know the timing isn't...-" he drew in a breath, "-...spectacular." Leaning away to encourage her to look up at him, Apollo shook his head a little. "But, you get why this is important to me. Right? After everything, I-"

He cut himself off, properly stepping away from her so he could take her upper arms in his hands. It was then that he leveled her with a serious, concerned look that pulled his eyebrows together and sent his eyes about searching hers. One thing needed to be addressed again, he felt. Just in case any doubts or fears had crept in during their months of pretending to be apart. The students at Hogwarts were brilliant at ruining things, at spreading rumors, and particularly at irritating the elder Zabini.

"Lily," he continued, his tone serious but still gentle. His eyebrows lifted as well, to drive the point home. "I'm not afraid of you. Of what will happen tonight. I trust you, y'know? Just... you seem stressed. I don't want you to worry. Certainly not about me."

Lily had considered the many reasons she and Apollo seemed naturally drawn to each, incapable of fighting a magnetism that went deeper than how they acted and reached into who they were, and this moment pointed to the great, shared desire for intimacy, swaddled in a f*ck-off attitude that had worked on most of the rest of the world. Together, the stripped away their buggar-off-auras and accepted their need for closeness, for a partner in crime. For someone who so often shied from contact, who withdrew from any sort admission of need, she felt remarkable comfortable leaning into him, and holding tight.

"Me too," she admitted, her voice low but sincere. Her lips puckered as he described the timing, an ironic little admission to the difficulties of arranging any sort of time alone. But the need and urgency grew in his eyes as he withdrew to hold her arms and beg for understanding. She softened her gaze, steadily trying to release her own anxieties and uncertainties to better assuage him.

Her hands twisted to grip his arms, fingers trailing reassuring circles onto his skin. "I know," she said. "But, remember, it's not me. Not entirely. It's my wolfy counterpart, and I'm sitting in the backseat doing what I can to be involved." She cleared her throat. "I've done everything I need to do to make sure all will be fine. I used to do this with Casey every month. Of course, once bitten, twice-"

She froze, closing her eyes, a smile of wry, self-loathing twisting onto her face for her thoughtless choice of words.

She recovered with a deep breath, her eyes twinkling a bit at the knowledge that he was the only person who saw this side of her. "Right, but then you can't worry about me, okay? It's going to look horrible. I'm going to sound like bloody murder, but I'm fine. It happens every month and it hasn't killed me yet. Just remember that, that I'll be fine and I am fine."

It was... fascinating, really. Utterly fascinating, that the way Lily's fingers ran over his skin could raise his heartbeat and the hair on his arms. It was like no one had touched him at all, in weeks. And that was mostly true, but not entirely. High-fives, claps on the shoulder, pushes and shoves. But those gestures were nothing like what he was allowed when he was around his girl.

Really, the fact that he felt possessive, that he even called her that in his head, was a huge sign.

Apollo felt possessive when it came to certain things. His home, now. His position on the Quidditch team. His belongings. His mother, though he wasn't technically allowed to act that way. Not in his mind.

But Lily Luna Potter was his, just as he was hers. And that, perhaps, was not how Lily would've phrased it. He hadn't asked. But there was little in his life that he was able to choose for himself, and his relationship with this girl - woman, really - was entirely up to him, provided she didn't grow tired of him.

He had started to properly settle in, particularly when she started to speak openly as they'd used to. But then her expression changed and his shoulders deflated. But she looked up at him again, and he swallowed that concern to match her tone instead.

"We'll- well, you'll - have to put up wards, then," he confirmed with a slight lift of his chin. "If it's as obvious as you say. But, I get it. Seriously. I- I remember what happened last time."

He wanted to clarify that with mostly, but that felt like a jab when he didn't mean one, so he kept that bit to himself. He flinched anyway, despite biting it back.

Rolling his shoulders back to regain his usual, proper posture, Apollo schooled his features. Rather than continue down that route, he locked in on part of what she'd said. It brought a smile to his face, though he tried to hide it by forcing the corners of his lips downwards. It didn't stop the amusement behind his eyes, though, or the fact that the grin returned in full force by the end of his question.

"So if I pretend to howl, are you gonna join in?"

At his warning about wards, she tilted her chin. "Already done." Indeed, her coworkers had been very accommodating and the shack had been set aside for her personal use during the full moons. Wards were set up that only needed to be triggered when she made her way into the ancient house, and those particular flicks and swirls of her wand had become second nature to her, like turning the light switch on in a dark room.

Her lips rolled downwards while her eyebrows lifted, a small smirk shining through at his words. "Trust me - you don't want to start a howl." She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before finally breaking contact.

She crossed to her bag and took the last of her potion, quickly following it with another muscle relaxing potion. Try as she might, she still had not found the right combination to curb the pre-moon pains, but she had done enough to ensure it would be a dull ache. The worst it would get would be in the lead up to the transformation. She could not seem to stop the internal shooting pains no matter how inventive she got.

She settled on a low, love-seat and patted the spot next to her, holding back a wince as another ache grew deep now in her shoulders. "Come here. We have about an hour to catch up before things get hairy."

Oh, Merlin, the puns.


She took a quick trip to the restroom with only a few minutes to spare. She had to reassure Apollo that her internal moon clock was spot on and that a wee before transforming fit into their schedule. However, she just barely locked the door behind her before her real reason for the escape hit her - a massive cramp racked through her body like a wave, tightening her calves first and working its way up until her head felt like it would split open. Her hands reached out and she bit her lip to keep any cry of pain inside. Her legs buckled and she swung around to land on the closed toilet. She gritted her teeth and pursed her lips, face contorting.

Moments later, and it passed. That was it. The calm before the storm.

She flushed the empty toilet and ran the sink water for good measure, splashing some water on her cheeks before expelling a breath. She unbolted the bathroom door and stepped back into the room they had made their bunker for the night.

She looked at Apollo who was already beginning to show signs of worry. She crossed to him, feeling the transformation build within her. "I'll be fine," she said as she grabbed his hands. "A few minutes and it's over. I'll see you in the m-morning." She placed a trembling kiss to his temple and felt the air get crushed out of her lungs. A noise caught in her throat and she backed away, giving Apollo a bracing look before-

It all hit.

Her ribs began cracking to make way for her new organs and she caught hold of a chair, to keep her upright. She turned and gasped as her stomach jerked, her legs beginning to creak. The limbs were the next to go and she fell. Her clothes were beginning to tear but a layer of fur had already begun growing through her skin, providing some shielding from the horrifying contortions happening right beneath the skin.

The chair buckled beneath her weight and she felt her head splitting as her ears and nose grew. Lily commanded the wolfish eyes to roll so she could glimpse one final look at Apollo before the wolf's brain took over.

And within a minute, it was all over.

A slim black wolf crouched where Lily had been, chest heaving. It snuffled, clearing its nose while its ears began to work. Breath caught, it finally lifted its head, nose filling with the scent of human, and not the usual traces of the human who sat in the back seat of her brain. New human.

The wolf straightened out and turned, eyes training on the young man in the room.

He hadn't thought to notice if any wards had flickered around him when he walked in downstairs, but perhaps they had. He hadn't been feeling particularly observant, to be fair, when he was so close. But now they were here, and they didn't have much time. And that, in itself, was a painful concept. Not nearly as much as he would come to understand about Lily's pain, of course, but it still created an ache that would linger up until she returned to his side to offer assurances as best as she could.

Of course, when her breath caught and he wasn't given time to so much as respond as his hands fell back to his sides and she backed up.

His chest wanted to lean forward. To get up and help. But his head told hi to lean back. To press himself against the wall and hope that an inch more distance would result in safety. So rather than doing either of those things, he stared. Locked in place, Apollo was visibly distraught watching it, but completely incapable of looking away.

It felt so much longer than a minute. It felt like ages, like it would never end. But it did. And Lily wasn't there anymore. In her place, and leading to the breath that escaped when his lips parted, was the wolf he hadn't known he was afraid of. His chest burned in more than one sense, but he just kept staring.

Was he supposed to say anything? Lily couldn't respond. Lily wasn't there anymore.

Finally, he blinked. And he could finally breathe. She had taken precautions, he reminded himself. He should've asked how much she could understand when she turned. Should've, but hadn't. Now what did he do?

It wasn't that he was scared, mind you. No. He was anxious. It was a subtle difference, but one that mattered. Particularly to him. He was anxious that something would change and set her off, like before. He would be scared once that happened, but until then he would feel more cautious than anything else.

So as the pair of them watched each other, he almost felt obligated to say something. An insane part of him wanted to try and agitate her a little to see if she would still hurt him after everything. But he knew that the retribution come morning would be immeasurably worse, and he also knew that the thought came from a sense of desperation to feel validated for the way he reacted each full moon without any actual reason to do so.

He had to do something, though. If he left, what would happen? Would she be disappointed in the morning? Would she decide that this couldn't happen again? That would be entirely fair, of course, but if he was meant to understand, he had to deal with some part of this too. So no, he wouldn't leave. But he had to come up with something.

Lily was there somewhere. He just didn't know if he'd be able to reach her. Or if she would even remember anything in the morning.

Very slowly, he pressed one hand into the floor to lift himself up, extending his other hand towards her cautiously. "Lily? Love, can you hear me?"

The wolf twitched its nose, and the human influence deep inside, very faint so soon after the transformation, let a flood of reassurance tackle the wolf's instincts. Not prey, nor predator. Just a presence. So the wolf leaned backward, stretching first its front legs, then leaned forward to get the back ones. It ruffled its coat and turned to pull at fur on its thing that had bunched up during all of the thrashing.

A noise made the wolf stop. It turned its amber eyes back on the figure, ears flicking forward in curiosity. The wolf's features gave it one of those blank, animalistic expressions - no drooping eyes or discolored eyebrows that might form some sort of expression. Those amber eyes were deep and beautiful but certainly unsettling in all of their mystery.

That dull wave of reassurance grew. The human was struggling to say something. The wolf shook its mane, as though trying to shake the girl's influence, but the human inside, who had a small window through, just peeks and glances in the form of dreams... She was insisting harder than she ever had before, working to establish her influence.

Good. Good. Good.

That sentiment came in enough that the wolf felt comfortable testing the man by taking a few steps forward, slowly approaching until there were mere feet between man and beast.

And then a new word came in. One that meant a lot more to the wolf.

Pack.

It was only once, but it was strong, and certainly held more meaning. The wolf tilted its head, eyes quizzically taking in the features of this human that supposed made up her pack. She had only ever had one pack-mate before, the human pup, back when she had been close to a pup herself. She knew that sentiment.

Her tail wagged once, a sign of friendship. And, perhaps at the influence of the human inside, the one who knew enough to make an inside joke, even through a wolf, the black wolf raised her head and let out a howl.

Apollo nearly backed away when the wolf approached, but he kept telling himself the same thing: It's Lily. And Lily is important. So this is important.

He crouched back down, though, so he could stop once he reached eye-level with her. He waited as patiently as he could while she - the wolf, rather - appraised him. And then, his eyes actually crinkled up at the corners as he broke out into a full, proper laugh. Little in the world could make him react so positively, but Merlin, she certainly could.

"There you are," he murmured fondly once the room quieted again.

After that, he still wasn't sure what to do. But his hand apparently wanted to reach out again. "I need to think of something else to call you when you're like this," he decided aloud, his fingers aiming for the fur behind her ears. He just hoped it wouldn't spook her. "Calling you 'the wolf' seems ridiculous, especially if I'm talking to you as Lily. I could go with Luna, I guess, but that's just ironic."

Apollo sat down properly, then, and shrugged. "Oh well. I'll come up with something."

It was weird, he decided suddenly. He hadn't missed her half as much in the past few weeks as he did right then. And she was within arms' reach. Telling himself he was being ridiculous, Apollo turned and stretched out towards the bag he'd set up next to hers at some point, aiming for the snacks he'd brought. He had no idea what werewolves ate, but eventually he had to get something in his stomach either way.