Though they were not the neatest of mirror images, mirror images they seemed to be. There was a part of Baldric that rankled, wondering if it was just a Muggle accident, unable to comprehend that such damage could happen to a wizard. But then, the same image purveyed his own household, purveyed his own heart. Baldric’s thoughts inevitably strayed to his mother and his hand juddered a little against the brown glass of the bottle, as though in sympathy with the notions running through his head. He curled his fingers into his palm and the right hand slid off of the table and into his lap, bouncing absently against the light, navy trousers he wore. It was a Wood family trait, or curse, it seemed, to be surrounded by such ruin.
So much of Baldric wanted to tell the young man but he bristled with the sense of anti-climax. It was a responsibility that should not have been thrust upon his shoulders. It was something that his father should have taken his uncle to task about. If Oliver had cared beyond the perimeter of his property about anything or anyone then it should have long been resolved, sense shaken into Carlisle’s father and some sort of unity found for them all. But it hadn’t. Oliver had done nothing. Baldric, too, had done nothing, unsure of his place amongst the web of secrets that he had unwittingly gotten himself lost in.
But he knew Carlisle needed to know. It wasn’t just for knowing’s sake that he needed to know. It wasn’t just to satisfy a curiosity about a world and a people that had been denied to him. Knowing meant that he wasn’t alone. Knowing about them was to know that, as fractured as Baldric’s family was, there was someone else beyond the fragile precincts of Carlisle’s world that he could seek solace in. It was something Baldric understood with fiercer clarity than he had realised. Wasn’t that the point of everything they did as human beings? Didn’t they all strive and battle and graft to create families and forge relationships so that they could breathe in the hardest of moments, so that they weren’t alone? Carlisle’s loneliness had not been chosen. It had been put unfairly on him.
He wanted to caution Carlisle but he knew he couldn’t. He had his own anger. Much of it he liked to think he’d dealt with since his Hogwarts years but he knew he’d merely buried it, pushed past it because it was easier to keep moving than it was to sit and actually think about it. The strife with his own father had always only ever come as a result of her. Of his mother. All of Oliver’s hopes in his son had been a way of reliving the life that had been robbed of them by the Dark Lord. They knew the touch of dark magic more intimately than most. Bitterly some days, Baldric had wished she had not made it, even at the expense of his own self, so that his father could breath, relax and be himself once more. But they couldn’t. They were all wound as tight as drums. Ready to burst.
And Baldric had to make a choice.
“You can and you have every right to be,” he said temperately. “But if he is suffering … if this is the end, you cannot let it blind you and mar what time you have left with him. As much as it may grate on you, he is your father. And he had his reasons, I’m sure.” His smile was wry. “They usually do, fathers.”
“But,” he went on, wobbling his finger along the rim of the neck of the bottle as he thought, weighing it all up. He lifted his eyes. “Wood isn’t a common name.” His brows rose expressively, urging Carlisle to see what he meant so that he didn’t have to say it. Baldric hated knowing and not saying anything. He hated that it had been put upon him, that he had to be the honest one, the man to do the right thing by the boy.
“Do you recall Freya?” He asked gradually, sitting up straight. “Freya Wood, that is. She graduated last year.” It was a mad thing to consider, really. His baby sister, not so much a baby anymore. “My sister. Your cousin,” he met Carlisle’s gaze steadily. “Not a secret I realised we were keeping from you. I didn’t know until I asked your uncle,” the words felt odd in his mouth. “I fear we’re probably not quite what you were expecting. But you’re not … you’re not alone, Carlisle. Not if you don’t want to be. We’ve … well, we’ve always been here, I suppose. It’s just … no one ever said anything. And for as long as I have known, I have been wrong to not say anything but it feels almost beyond me. Not my place, almost, that it should have been your father or my father or whatever happened … I … I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark but it might be a small consolation to know I am as angry with my father as perhaps you are with yours that he would wilfully omit that you existed. I should have been there for you sooner. And I’m sorry, Carlisle.”