Difficult Roads Often Lead to Beautiful Destinations

[continued from previous thread (Memory War) re: Declan's wedding date]

Declan passed his exasperated look from Henry to Dom, letting her know he was displeased with his friend. When she introduced herself, however, Henry's eyebrows lifted and he looked between the two of them as well. Declan could practically feel himself deflate. This was going to be a mess. Indeed, the younger man reached out for her hand, saying, "Oh, really?"

Declan reached over and whacked him upside the head before he could lean all the way down to press a kiss to the back of her hand. Henry let out a cry of dismay, but released her hand without question.

"Come off it," Declan warned him, stepping over to Dom's side. "He's just... He's always like this. You'll get used to it," he assured her, hopping up onto the desk beside her. "He's talking about the reason Melena was in here earlier."

"There was a wedding this morning for some of Declan's friends," Henry started off, "and my brother's wife was there." His eyes jumped to Declan's jaw clenching. "Ryan showed up after you left, to help Danica clear everything away."

Declan's hand moved to the small of Dom's back to steady himself, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I can't believe she told him. She cannot be serious."

"Ryan found out from her co-worker, actually," Henry explained slowly, a frightened expression flashing across his face for a moment. "Danica, of course, was unhappy."

It was slightly unfortunate for Dom, Declan realized, that the two of them could have conversations whilst dropping entire words or explanations. They had known each other too long to bother will long sentences or extra explanations. Turning to the blonde beside him, Declan slid his hand to her waist, nudging her in front of him so he could settle his chin on her shoulder. Was he hiding from her a bit? He supposed so, but he chose to tell himself otherwise. He wondered for a moment if he should ask Henry to leave, but the two men were like brothers, and it didn't really feel as strange for Henry to be there as it did for Dom to be. But that wasn't really her fault.

"Dom," he began, next to her ear. "There is a reason why Henry and I are like family when he and Ryan aren't. Danica is-"

"The bitch that broke his heart and tried to break my family," Henry butted in, leaning back against the door and glowering at nothing in particular.

"She showed up at the wedding because she has a catering business. And she approached me while I was with Melena. Said she wanted to leave Ryan... for me." His gaze shifted to briefly to Henry before dropping down to the floor between Henry and Dom, not particularly enthused about seeing either one's reaction.

Dom could feel the way Henry lingered, the way his eyes changed, and she felt her cheeks pinken, shame and embarrassment pounding in her heart. Would she always be the woman who broke Declan to his friends? She already felt bad about it as it was, but if there were going to be constant, indiscriminate reminders, she didn’t know how she was going to cope.

Fortunately, she was very quickly saved by Declan, and the warning edge in his voice was not lost on her. She felt a rush of gratitude towards him, appreciating that he was protecting her from the reputation she had probably earned. If he could be forgiving enough to protect her from the people he trusted the most, she could trust that she would not be blamed for too long.

She tried to follow along to their conversation but found that she was pretty majorly struggling. She was getting bits of it, but nothing was coming together to make sense. Declan sensed this and again came to her rescue, but it was Henry that cleared it all up. Her mouth tipped open and she turned to Declan. Before she could ask the question that was plaguing her, he answered it.

”Said she wanted to leave Ryan... for me."

She blinked, trying to hold his gaze, but he looked away. She glanced over at Henry, but she could not read him the way she could Declan. What was she supposed to say about that?

She cleared her throat. “Um… Can’t say I’m particularly fond of that plan…”

Brilliant.

From atop his desk, Declan heard Henry's surprised chuckle in response to Dom's comment. The older man cracked a smile, lifting his right hand from her waist, moving it to the side of her head to gently keep her in place while he pressed a kiss to the opposite side. Henry glanced away, not convinced that he approved after everything that had happened. But he didn't say a word against it.

"I don't think any of us are, really," Declan confided, dropping his hand to her shoulder. "But it does raise the question of what she thinks she's doing."

"And why she decided to do it now," Henry suggested, turning his chin so he was facing the pair of them properly again.

Declan had to agree with that. "Definitely not great timing. It's like she knew you'd be coming back," he added, speaking to Dom.

"So.. You guys are like... good again?" Henry asked slowly, furrowing his brow and tightening the muscles in his arms though they remained crossed over his chest. Declan didn't doubt that the man would take things too far if given a reason or a chance. Regardless, the older man gave his friend a reproachful look from behind Dom's shoulder, not comfortable with having to find an answer for that.

"I don't think we need to decide that right now," Declan cut in quickly. "She just got here, mate. Just... let us figure it out for ourselves before you butt in. Don't you have to get to work, anyway?"

Henry frowned, but after a moment of silently exchanging looks with Declan, he nodded and stood up straight. "Right. I'll send an owl later, then. Dom," he offered a nod before turning towards the door. Once he had closed it back behind him, Declan released a weight of tension that he hadn't registered was sitting on his shoulders.

Dom wasn't sure how he would respond to her comment, and was fully expecting some sort of dirty look out of Henry, given how much he seemed to think she deserved of Declan. Declan, however, seemed charmed by it and pulled her close, planting a reassuring kiss on the side of her head. The skin there turned pink and warm and tingled pleasantly. She still felt some guilt at his affectionate touches, and she knew it would come with time, would take rebuilding some trust. Not that she didn't trust him. But she didn't trust herself, and he trusted her... That's where it all fell apart.

Her head turned between them once again, now following the conversation but with nothing to say. She didn't exactly want to join in on the speculation of why an ex flame may suddenly want Declan, after Dom had finally gotten him back into her life.

Henry turned a questioning look and a harsh question on them, and she could feel the distrust. She felt indignation swell within her but she knew he was completely justified. He was there when she wasn't. She was on a trial period. She didn't have a right to defend herself.

But Declan would for her. She wanted to cry, still feeling completely undeserving of his attention and care. He suggested Henry make his exit and when he did, Dom sunk her head to rest on his shoulder, not able to look at him. "That's going to be everyone's response. And they aren't wrong."

"Dom," he began, his voice much more gentle than Henry's had been. Releasing a quiet sigh, he curled his arms around her. From his perch, their height difference didn't seem as obvious, which was convenient as far as his attempts at comforting her went.

It wasn't lost on him that he had let things go incredibly easily. Perhaps it was Henry's doing, in part. He didn't like being questioned, even by the man he would feel comfortable calling 'brother.' He felt a moral obligation to take care of Dom after what Roxanne had done, and most of his actions had come naturally. The need to be close to her, the kiss he had left a minute ago, the positive disability he had felt after she explained herself to so much as stand on the other side of his desk. It all confused him immensely, not least because his feelings for someone who had destroyed him multiple times should not have been as tangible as they felt.

"I just... I wish I knew what to think, you know? You did what you thought was best. I believe that. But the circumstances... weren't great." Declan frowned, removing one arm from her side in order to ran a hand over his face. "And what the hell is Danica doing?"

Frustrated, he released her, pushing off the desk and starting to pace across the floor of his office. "I won't lie to you, Dom - I loved her, completely. You know part of that story," he added, pausing to gesture towards her with one hand before moving on. "I- I intended to spend a life with her. It's been years but seeing her brought it back for a minute.

"But that was nothing compared to how just... furious I was," he clarified, emphasizing the word venomously. "That woman is... I don't know. Dom," he changed tracks rather suddenly, walking back over to her and standing in front of her, his hands stuffed into his pockets. "I don't want to worry about her unless we have to. But I don't know... what you want, either."

She kept her cheek pressed to his shoulder, feeling a strange scrambling in her stomach, feeling so horribly... horrid. Declan had been through so much in his life and she had done nothing to help it. When he had opened up to her about Danica originally, it had not taken her long to make him regret his openness. She had been the one to leave him feeling used and unwanted.

Dom had never been responsible, had rarely owned up to her wrongdoings. She wasn't emotionally mature enough to do so - she was basically a middle schooler, except a little kinkier. The difference between herself and most people like her... was she knew how much of a screw up she was.

He was scared. He was acting frustrated and uncertain, but it was fear. He was scared he was wrong about her, scared that she was right. And she would be lying if she didn't admit that he was probably scared to pass up on Danica's once-in-a-lifetime offer. How did someone walk away from someone that they loved... "completely."

She watched him pace, trying to be... smart. She could summon strength and bravery, but she needed common sense now. Declan was trapped between two people that he wanted, and he was not going to be able to think with a clear head.

There it was. He didn't know what she wanted. It was fair - she didn't know what she wanted. He looked at her with his deep eyes and she took a breath.

"The closest I've ever been to love..." she preambled, her eyes fixed on his, "was with my best friend Nico. He was so different from me - complete opposite. I don't know why he put up with me," a small affectionate smile gracing her lips. She shook her head. "I started f*cking up, like usual, with the parties and with Roxi and... he told me to stop. I asked him why and he told me loved me. And right when I made my mind up to live up to his expectations, he was gone."

She shook her head. "I don't know if I loved him. For all that was said and done I really... I should have. I loved him in every other way... Why couldn't I..." She cleared her throat, closing her eyes. She sighed and her eyelids slid open. "I'm really scared I'm just... not right... and can't give someone who deserves so much... what they deserve."

She took a breath. "I think you need to clear your head about Danica. Figure out what to do about her. And I will help you. And once it's all figured out, we can figure us out." She reached forward and laced her fingers into his.

Declan's jaw clenched when she mentioned that she felt she may have been in love before, but he had basically asked for it, so he had no right to be irked by it. Besides, she made it clear that she wasn't convinced that she had ever loved the man in question, so he tempered his discomfort in favor of properly listening.

"It sounds," he began finally, "like you're worried that you can't love anyone. Which isn't all that spectacular, because I worry that I can't be loved. Not truly, anyway... So that doesn't really set us up for success," Declan mused aloud, looking down at their hands, where he held onto her in return.

"It also sounds like you aren't trying too hard to stop me from going back to her, even though you've just said you would rather I didn't." His eyebrows drew together in a mix of hurt and confusion. Declan didn't see why she didn't understand the fact that Danica made him into a fool without his permission. That if he did go back, there would be nothing for it because Danica would win. She was good at winning, at getting what she wanted. She wasn't unlike Roxi in that way, he supposed, though Declan couldn't imagine the older blonde kidnapping and screwing over a young girl. All she cared about was screwing over the men in her life, and she had apparently succeeded again as far as Ryan was concerned.

"Danica knows how to get more out of me than she deserves," he explained, purposefully mirroring Dom's words. "I think I'm actually glad I'm not like her in that sense, considering I don't want to be anything like her. Especially not around you. But, Dom, why did you come back here to find me if you didn't feel anything? I'm not asking you to claim that you love me. I'm not going to claim that I can say it to you, either. I know we're not there. But I don't even want to think about what Danica wants. She has no right."

Reaching out with his spare hand, he stepped closer and squared his shoulder with hers as his fingers brushed over her jaw and into her hair. "Dom, if I told you that I was about to walk out that door and marry someone - especially Danica - ...what would you do? Because if you don't like the sound of that, then perhaps we're on the same page. I'm not asking for you to love me right now, Dom. That would be taking things too far. ..I'm just asking if you want to keep me around."

It made her so sad to think that Declan didn't think himself capable of being loved, and her first reaction was to assure him it was a dumb thought - but hers was along the same vein. So, instead, she settled on an understanding, sad smile, squeezing his hand, enjoying the fusion of their skin, the one thing anchoring them together. They had come so far to get to this point, and it felt like they were in danger of drifting off yet again. His summation, the implication that they probably didn't have success in their future, felt so honest - she gripped tighter.

"It also sounds like you aren't trying too hard to stop me from going back to her, even though you've just said you would rather I didn't." Her mouth immediately opened in protest, but he continued on before continuing to muse about the dangers of Danica. She swallowed the protest down her throat, but a disgruntled look twitched onto her face, showing his discontentment at allowing that statement to exist uncontested. She hated that he believed that, thought she could feel that way.

She would wait.

His first question was one without an answer, and she felt justified in her nonanswer. His second certainly had an answer, but she wasn't sure she had earned the feeling towards it.

It was her turn. Backing up... "I don't want you to go back to Danica. She treated you like sh!t and I'd... I'd..." she spat out the word, "punch her face or-or something if she did it again. That's not what I'm saying at all, but I don't want to be taking you away from someone. I want you to know you don't want her."

She took a breath. "If you told me you were going to run off and marry someone, I'd tell you that you were probably moving too fast. If you were going to marry Danica I'd... lock you up." She didn't smile. She really wasn't kidding. "Look I... I wouldn't be indifferent if you went off with someone. I'd be pissed. And sad. And lonely. I came back because I miss you, and because I couldn't stand to keep you hurting and on the hook... I want you around. I'm just really scared of ruining it... Again. And you hating me forever. So can we... start... somewhere in the beginning?"

Declan was able to release some of the tension in his shoulders when she spoke, and his hand moved down to hers. It was probably for the better, considering her next comments made him roll his eyes towards the ceiling. "I didn't mean it literally-"

She continued, taking him more seriously, it seemed, so he dropped the matter and waited. Did he risk saying what he was thinking? Last time they had decided to start at the beginning, it had ended up going quite badly. He digested her request a bit slowly, but once he settled on an idea, he released her entirely, stepping back. His head listed to the side for a moment but he finally allowed his lips to curve upwards as he extended a hand towards her.

"The beginning? Well," he began, releasing a breath. "I'm Declan. I own this place," he gestured at the building in general, "I have a completely insane ex, and I've been hoping to take you to dinner for a while. Or to just cook it myself, I suppose," Declan shrugged, breaking character. Resuming, he smirked down at her. "Perhaps we should start there."

Oddly, he meant it. How much easier it would be to just step back and pretend Roxi hadn't ruined everything for them. Declan wasn't sure it would work if he thought too hard about it, though, so he decided not to mention the idea to Henry until he saw how things went with Dom. The man would never let Declan live it down, otherwise.

Dom knew what she was asking of him was not what he had expected - to be fair, it sounded like everything that had happened to him today had been the last thing he would have expected, between her arrival, Danica, this whole... situation... whatever it was. And she knew Declan well enough to know what he wanted, and she was sure he would be more comfortable with just being able to definitively label their relationship. But for her whole life, she had resisted the norm, had resisted labels, had resisted responsibility and commitment her entire life. If he really did want her, all of that came with it. She would work through it. She would.

She just couldn't do it just for him. It had to be for her too. Otherwise it would never last. And that wasn't something she was willing to risk.

He moved away and she felt her skin flinch and dance at the sudden exposure to the air, the sudden distance. She blinked up at him, steeling herself for the worst.

And instead...

A grin unfurled on her face, and it was all she could to do to keep herself from flinging her arms around his neck and kissing him - which, while he probably would have appreciated it, probably would have contradicted a lot of what she had just said. So, with a dopey grin on her face, she took his hand and squeezed it, shaking it.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Dom. I'm... the worst Keeper of the Keys Hogwarts has ever seen. I'm a dolt, I am barely an adult, but I'd absolutely love to have dinner with you."