Not so ordinary after all

Something bad was about to happen, she could feel it in her stomach. It scared her a lot, since she just got used to her new life. She wasn't ready to leave again, if it comes to that. At least not yet.
Shudder went through her body as she was waking up from the bad dream.
Helena woke up from the bad dream. She struggled to choke back her tears and eventually she started crying with arms covering her lips. Because, Daniel was lying right next to her.
She didn't want him to see her like that, weak. She didn't want anyone to see her like that. She couldn't let her fears win, not after everything she went through. But as she was hiding her true self deep inside, she needed to talk to someone. After realizing Kolya and Nikita were in London, she felt threatened and alone. She looked the man next to her, biting her lip. Yeah, he was there but even so she felt like she was completely alone.

Ironically, as much as she needed someone to talk to, right now she just wanted to be alone. That meant no Daniel as well. She wiped tears of her face and took few deep breaths. She felt trapped under his arm, but she needed to leave the bed sooner rather than later. She slowly moved his arm, trying so hard not to wake him up. She hated when he was loud in the mornings, but she knew that it was never his intention to get on her nerves that early. As she was moving his arm he turned to the other side, leaving her space to get up. She put on his shirt she found on the floor and went out of the room, closing the door behind her.

She needed to take a bath, she thought it will help her. And it did, after two hours of crying, for some reasons she didn't fully understand, she felt reborn. She did understand them, but she just didn't want to think in that direction. She stood in front of the mirror, remaining herself who she is now. But all she saw there was blond girl gazing back at her. Was it Polina? Was it her mother? Helena shook her head, covering her face with towel. She put on her bathrobe and run out to the kitchen. Daniel will be up soon and she needed to prepare a breakfast. But before that, she needed something strong to help her go through the day. There was an open bottle of tequila on the fridge. She grabbed it without thinking twice. One glass only.

It was two though. But important thing was that she felt great. Well, she was far away from great and she wasn't idiot, she knew that alcohol can't provide happiness, but she felt better than she was when she woke up. The feeling in her stomach, it was still there, but she didn't mind it anymore. She made pancakes cause she had more time than usual. By the time she finished she heard steps in the hallway. "Daniel?" She called while she was cleaning the mess she made while preparing the food.

Daniel sorted his nights into two different types: those that he loved, full of alcohol and women. And the other one, boring and less acceptable, when immediately after work went home.
The first nights were accounted for most of his life. After work, send a message to Helena to not waiting for him cause he will go out after work, and then went to a club.
Someone should think does it bother to Helena? The truth is more than simple; she doesn't mind because she is unfaithful as much as he is.
For Daniel, this type of connection was perfect. The only drawback is that he considers the connection itself is meaningless, he accepted this for Helene. She needed help, or more precisely, his money, and he had enough money since he owns the hotel.

After finishing the job and told Helena not to wait him because he will come too late, he called his two friends. They headed to a club that usually go. It's a Muggle night club with smoky rooms, full of drunks and girls with too much makeup and too short dresses.
These are the girls who aren't looking for love but just having fun, just like he did.
The night started with the tequila, and soon forgot what ever drink.
The music was louder, place decorated with taste and girls became beautiful.
Alcohol is really a miracle, makes bad things become acceptable, almost perfect.
One girl came up to him, ironically, her name is Lena.
When she told him her name, over Daniel's face has gone dumb smile.
He heard the question 'what's funny?' and girl looked almost offended.
He shrugged, "So called my girlfriend," he said simply. Obviously, to this girl wasn't a problem if he is taken. He is often called Helena Lena, it is likely to change after this evening.
And just like that, he lost interest in this girl.
If God trying to tell him that this isn't the right girl for him tonight, how he can ignore the commands of God?
He paid the girl's drink, and then rose to the astonishment of all present.
Daniel is one that remains until the end, that no one can go home, and now he goes.
He looked at his watch, half past twelve. Great, he'll arrive home before midnight.
Lena, his Lena might be awake. Well, maybe he can have fun with her.

He left the cafe and although he's relatively drunk, he sat in his car. It took him a while to think of how to start the car, but other than that, he had no problem with driving.
After a fifteen minute drive, came to his apartment. With heavy steps he climbed the stairs and opened the door.
Dark.
Helena is asleep or not at home.
Slowly, he went to the apartment and to their bedroom, making sure not to wake her if asleep.
There she is, as usual, she took most of the beds.
For this reason, after a nights conducted in the clubs Daniel would rather sleep on the couch. Just be too drunk to be suffered to find a space in the bed for himself.
He showered and put on only boxers.
He came to the couch in the living room but changed his mind and returned to the bedroom.
Sometimes, just sometimes it's nice to sleep if you feel the presence of other living beings beside you.
He slid slowly in bed making sure not to wake her.
He slung one arm over her waist and ten minutes later he fell asleep.

He is awakened by irritating sound of the phone.
He didn't even look at who's calling, just turned off the bell in order to fall asleep again.
It didn't happen.
He reached with his arm looking for Helena.
Nothing.The bed is empty. Helena was already awake.
He stood up and felt a strong pain in the head, the usual morning hangover.
He would probably stay in bed if didn't smell food wafting from the kitchen.
Despite the hangover, he's hungry.
Still only in his boxer shorts, he left the bedroom and went to the kitchen when he heard his name.
"Yes, I am. Good morning," smiled slightly and approached to her. He kissed her on the cheek and then sat down at the bar looking into her while she's cleaning.

She waited until she heard his voice before she started working again. For some unknown reason, she was feeling paranoid in past few days. "Morning." she looked at him over her shoulder and it was all clear. He had a rough night. "You look terrible." she couldn't resist small smile. But she knew the feeling, since she looked the same pretty often, thought in past weeks she went out only few times. This is why she was always prepared and always had medicines and potions that would made her feel better after too many drinks. She opened the fridge searching for the potion she made few days ago. She made it for herself but for some reason she decided to share. It was probably because she was feeling soft that morning. She put the bottle in front of him. "It is awful but it will help you. Drink." Yes, it was an order. Sometimes, Helena had that attitude she inherited from her father. Thinking of him, she moved her gaze from Daniel to her hands. She needed something to disturb her from thinking of Polina's life. "So, how was the night?"

She served the breakfast and put the plates on the table. At that moment, she felt like she was living with the child and she couldn't help the feeling that her brothers probably felt the same while they were all living together. Truth was that Daniel was incapable of living on his own and Helena had no idea how he survived all those years. But she was okay with it, at the end he did let her stay here. When she sat across him she started to say something but instead of saying so she just shook her head. "Never mind." But then she decided to say it anyways. "I quit my job. I was given the ultimatum I didn't like so I left." She kept her gaze on the food, for some reason she was scared to look at him. She knew that he probably didn't care at all, she was spending his money all the time, but she felt the need to tell him. And that wasn't all. She eventually looked at him with strange look on her face that was actually fear. "And there's a chance I'll be going away for awhile." Why? When? Where? These were all the questions that she hoped he won't ask. Because if he does, she had no idea what to say.

When he heard her comment, he couldn't help but smile.
"Well thank you Lena, your compliments are always amazing," he paused when he said Lena. Yes, that nickname is definitely thing of the past.
"You look ugly as always," he joked. It is true that Helena is everything but not ugly. Certainly, she is one of the most beautiful women he had ever met.
If he leave out the fact that he hates relationships and that she just like all girls spent his money like crazy, in some way he likes her, at least physically. That is why he is with her.
Daniel is not a humanitarian who would just helped to someone with no reason.
She is primarily his friend.
He looked at her quizzically when she put before him a bottle with a disgusting color. When he opened the lid, the smell was even worse.
"Your wish is my command," he shrugged and spoke to frown as the child whose mother makes him eat vegetables. With her is not worth discussing, she is stubborn and likes bossy.
Somehow everything always turns out to be exactly as she wanted.
He took a bigger sip frowning even more. The taste has surpassed all, something more disgusting never drank.
When he heard her question he shook his head.
"Don't ask about my night, it was a disaster," he said it as a curse, the thought of that girl he was brought up with the idea to become a monk and never went to the club again.
But on the other hand, why is it important that the name Lena? His reaction to him was not completely clear.

He looked at his plate. Pancakes look great.
Although Helena is here for six months, sometimes it is still unusual when she prepare him breakfast.
So much for a long time he was alone.
In fact, she is the first girl he's ever brought to his apartment. The fact that this girl lives had never even thought about.
He looked at her. She looked odd ... On her face he can see, what?
Fear, sadness, insecurity ..
The last few days has often been like that, and he didn't know why. He thought she was happy here.
When he heard that about her job, just shrugged.
"It's all right, I told you already that you resign if you don't like that job," he said simply.
It was something completely irrelevant. When he agreed to allow her to spend his money as long as she wants, asked no ultimatums. It isn't matter whether she is working and earning for herself or not.
However, because of her next words he was shocked.
He put down his fork and looked at her in surprise, even a little sad.
"Why? Where are you going?" trying to sound indifferent, but it was difficult.
He was used to it she is here. He knew that there is a possibility that one day she will go, but not this quickly.
"Did something happen? You don't like be here? Do you need anything? You know you can buy everything you need." he shut up. He sounds a bit desperate and this is not wanted.

"I know, I'm amazing as well." she started laughing softly. "If you say so mister, but I still think I'm pretty." she winked, laughing at his face as he was drinking the potion. She moved it away before she sat down.

It wasn't about his money. Well, at first it was. She needed the help and he was willing to help her at the time. But now it was more personal. She was rich once, probably even more than he'll ever be. But when she run away she left it all back. She knew she'll have to struggle to survive and she did for a while. And then she met him.
"But I have to work something! You're sweet for letting me spend your money but there we are, it's yours. And I won't be spending it forever. I have to work." she shrugged, taking one bite of her pancake. It was great, not because she made it but it really was. Helena loved cooking more than anything.
Seeing his reaction she let down her fork shaking her head slightly. "No... wait, stop! No! I just... I.. " she took a big breath, wondering what to say. He wasn't supposed to ask so many questions, he was supposed to say okay or something like that. She wasn't prepared for this. She looked at him with smile on her face. "I love it here. I don't wanna go until you kick me out." she took one more bite. "However, I've heard that someone... someone I used to know is in town and I can't really see them, not now, not ever." She bit her lips, not wanting to talk about it, scared that she'll break again. She couldn't afford herself to break in front of him. "I thought about going to Hogsmeade."

"Yes, you really are," he smiled and nodded.
He began to laugh, "Oh, of course. But please don't forget to mention how modest you are," he joked, laughing. Yes, she is sometimes really funny.

He looked at her expectantly. This, this change isn't something he can understand.
Everything in his life is always easy. Doing what he wants, doesn't care about the problems and about everything speaks without problem.
She was hiding something, he knows that from the beginning, but when he allowed her to enter in his life, he agreed not to ask questions.
He knew that she was alone, with no family and no money, and that was it, he never asked anything.
He shook his head and laughed a little.
"All right, then find a new job, it's not a problem," he shrugged.
He still didn't know what was the matter. Everything was easy.
He sighed when he heard her words.
He stood up and walked over to her side of the table and hugged her around the waist.
"From whom are you running Helena? You can talk to me," he looked at her tenderly, which is totally contrary to his personality.
"You have no reason to get out. Who will cook to me if you leave me?" he joked. The real reason is that she would probably missed him, but he will rather die before he say it.
"All right, then we'll do our best not to meet that person, but you have no reason to leave," laughed a little and then he approached and kissed her gently on the lips.

Who are you and what did you do with Daniel?
When he kissed her she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. She felt safe in his arms and the feeling was beautiful. She hugged him forgetting the problems she had and the one she just created. But reality was stronger than their little moment. She pushed him away leaving her arms on his shoulders. Her eyes were wide open while she was watching him fearfully. "You don't understand. It's me. I'm running from myself, ever since" she stopped. She couldn't say it, she didn't know how. She closed her eyes taking one big breath. "...ever since my mother died I've been struggling and I've been losing. And just when I thought I can finally be who I am now, my past came knocking on the front door. And I'll lose again." She opened her eyes, wiping tears of her face. Did she just opened herself to him? Idiot! She shook her head, crossing her arms. She was shaking. She needed a drink. "I can't talk about this, I don't wanna talk about this. Please, don't make me talk about my past, please. I'm gonna cry a lot if you do and I don't wanna cry in front of you or anyone."  

She was scared and hurt and she knew that he'll be angry when he realize she's not who she said she is. But the funny thing was that she was who she told him she is - she was Helena. There was just this one part of her past she kept from him. From everyone actually. She was scared but she glanced at him anyway. "You can always come to eat at my place." she shrugged biting her lip.

At one point, she was kissing him back and hugging him, and during the next moment she pushed him away from her.
Then, he noticed tears in her eyes.
"Helena, tell me what the problem is, please," he said pleadingly.
"What the hell are you talking about? Come on Helena, stop with secrets. I don't hide from you anything!" he said angrily.
Everything about her was a mystery. Like a Rubik's Cube he can not contract no matter how much he tries.
"Your mother? What does your family have with this? You told me they were all dead. Or is it a lie?" he looked at her angrily, but more than anything, annoyed.
Simply, it was all too much. Too many secrets, lies and everything else.
He could not handle with it.
Drama is something of which he was running away all his life. And here he is again now, begging the girl to let him help her. But why? Hell, she even doesn't want his help.

And just like that, she changed the subject.
He looked at her angrily.
"Stop that! Stop pretending that everything is fine! Pretty god, tell me what the problem is. I want to help you but I can't do it if all you're hiding from me. I feel like I'm living with a stranger. You know all about me and I don't know anything about you. It's too secret even to us, you know? " with each word he spoke all the more yelling, but he did not care. He just didn't know how to cope with this.

"Stop yelling at me!" she screamed covering her ears with hands. "You wanna know? Fine! I was fooling myself for more than three years that I can be happy but seems like every step that I make is only a step back to my home and them!" she stepped back and turned away from him. How did this happened? They were just fine until they weren't. Why did she told him anything at the first place? She could simply go without saying goodbye, she could left a note or something. Not that they were close or anything. Funny how that thought punched her in the face. It became clear to her she does have a feelings for him, but after so much time, she thought it was normal. She slightly shook her head like she was trying to shake off that thought.

"My mother died when I was eight years old. Just month after that, my father came home with this woman, 'this is your new mom' he said. He replaced my mom with that.. I don't even have a words to describe that woman properly." she rolled her eyes. Drink, she definitely needs one now. She took the bottle of tequila and poured it in the glass. She took a sip before turning to Daniel. "Years after that, she told my father that I was an alcoholic. And he sent me to the rehab center. By the way, I wasn't. My siblings, they knew the truth. And they didn't say a word. And that's the sad life story of the girl I used to be. Polina Ivashkova. Cheers to her." she drank her drink staring at him. "So when you asked me if it was a lie, it wasn't. I don't have a family, they are all dead to me. And I don't wanna see any of them ever again." She was angry. Of herself, of her family, of Daniel. Why did he aks? Why? She hated him for asking, and she hated her brothers for searching for Polina. It was too much to deal with.

"My brothers are here, they are looking for Polina. I don't wanna feel anything for them but I'm scared that I'm gonna die when I see them." She approached him slowly, unsure what to do. She stand right in front of him, wishing she can read his minds. "I have never lied to you. This is who I am now. I only lied to myself thinking I can be free when the fact is that I'll never be. However,  I'll understand if you don't want me here anymore. I can leave in like, five minutes and you'll never see me again." Don't let me go. Please. She felt so small next to him, so vulnerable. She needed him, not because he had money, she needed him. She created her whole life next to him and she had no idea who she was outside this house.

"I'll yell because I hate lies!" However, he keep down his voice. In fact, he hates when they are arguing.
How did it come to this? He thought .. He thought it was all right.
He thought he had finally found a girl who can follow him.
It was no longer a matter of charity, but of trust and security.
He could be what he really is next to her, she accepted him. Or even that is a lie?
Maybe she's just here, and specifically because of his money.
Maybe he disgusted her.
Maybe she wants to vomit every time he kissed her or touched her.
Obviously, he will never find out what is the truth. For now, for the minute he discovered that everything is a lie.
He looked at her. So tackle. Against what? Against herself, against him or her personality?

He listened to her words, but at the same time he felt like he is watching a movie. Something that doesn't happen to him, but he is silent observer. He looks at the life of two people, and nothing can change.
He scoffed, every word was like a slap in his face. Something what ached but he couldn't avoid it.
"Polina?" he said coldly. Without thinking, he took a bottle from the table and took a sip of tequila. It furnance his throat, but that pain was nothing compared with what is happening now.
He turned abruptly and threw the bottle against the wall.
Tequila was spilled on the floor and the bottle broke into a million small pieces as well as their relationship, or what he meant they have.
"See? Just lies! I don't even know your name. It's all one big lie!" he shook his head.
"What else is a lie? Oh, please, let me guess!" he screamed again. He took the head in his hands, as if it can make all this go away.
"All that we had is one big lie, isn't it? I disgust you, but here, I'm just a good way to escape of the family!" He clapped his hands as if he had solved the biggest mystery.

He felt that she was close before he even saw her.
What does he want? Does he want her to go? He doesn't know.
Does hee want to get away from all this? Definitely.
He walked past her without being looked at her. He took his jacket and keys off the table.
"When I come back, I don't want to see you in my apartment," he said coldly, without having to look at her. He was afraid, if he look at her, maybe he will somehow find a way to forgive her everything.
He shook his head and then he left the apartment, slamming the door and went to the park.