The Inmates

She managed to leave, and some part of her realized that it was a very stupid decision. How would she make this normal with Kit again? It wasn't the sort of thing people forgot about, or pretended to forget about. And the healer was going to be pissed - she might even track her down wherever she ended up and make her return. Which, of course, would be horrible seeing as Lily had somewhat managed to fool the school into believing that she was suffering from a magical disease that was now destroying her body, having almost claimed her mind.

No, it was not a smart plan at all. And the part of her that wanted to be clever and strong hated her for it.

Leaving the impulsive, idiotic Lily to take over.

She heard a voice but it wasn't enough to stop her. It was the please. That stupid please. Something no one in her family would have ever bothered with, because they were short and cold and distant. Asking please showed a willingness her brothers would never have shown.

It forced her to stop at lease, taking a deep breath. As the breath left from her lips, she slowly turned and faced the man, Mesut. Mesut Avery.

She closed her eyes at his words, pained to be thanked after the stunt she had just pulled. It didn't help to gain the insight into their parental situation either. It just made her feel worse for having caused Kit pain, on top of being in the hospital wing. She was truly, truly selfish - that was certain. "Look, it's not..." she shook her head. "Not you. I just... I have issues, 'kay. Could you just... tell Kit to forget about it? And that it's not her, I'm just..." What was she. Really? She sighed. "Obnoxious, okay."

Mesut had never been praised for having the best timing. More often than not, his timing was actually comically bad, if not just dreadfully poor. But this time, he couldn't help himself when he spoke. Something about Lily made it hard for him to refrain. Maybe it was because Katherine had taken a shine to the other girl. Maybe it was because she was a Potter, and who could forget one of those?

Maybe he saw something in her that ached, and he hated it.

Whatever the reason, he was glad to know that she didn't hate him right out of the gate. Kit likely wouldn't have taken to someone who hated without really getting to know someone, but he supposed that every person had a line that had been silently drawn. Everyone had their moment when it couldn't be stopped.

"I will," he promised quietly, taking a few steps towards her. His hand lifted a few inches, but realized how ridiculous that was, considering he had just met her. Instead, he stopped a few feet away and drew in a breath. "Lily... I know that you don't know me very well. And you're welcome to ignore me if you choose to. But Kit trusts you. And she's clearly worried about you. I wouldn't dare ask about the issues you mentioned, but... If you ever need anything, I want you to know that I'd help. Katherine would expect it, and I don't think you should have to deal with it on your own. Not if you don't have to.

"But I get it if you decide that's not something you want. I'm just throwing it out there, in case it matters in the future." He paused but turned his shoulders away slightly, towards the hospital wing. "I should get back. But the offer is always open."

She was suddenly very... aware. She didn't like it. When Roxi had a hold on her, awareness had been one of the first things to leave her. She couldn't tell you what she had taken, how much of it, when the last time she been sober was, what she looked like, who she was with. It all became a haze. And back at Hogwarts, she tried to remove sense of self as much as possible, as a form of protection. It made sense. The less she was aware of who she was, the less she noticed when people stared and watched and gossiped.

But now, she was very aware. Her old lady cardigan hung heavily on the bony shoulders, the grey shirt sticking to her. Her long legs were cold, clad only in small sweat shorts, and her shoes weren't exactly fashionable. Her hair was mussed, her eyes were sunken, her skin pale. The Avery brother was the very opposite, the picture of clean cut and healthy, with his shining eyes and perfectly placed hair. Even their speaking was different. She was vague and awkward and incredibly unwilling to even open her mouth. But he spoke well and freely.

"I..." It wasn't going to happen. She didn't go to people. She didn't seek protection. She survived, and that was it. But she never went to someone else. So what? So they could feel great to have protected a Potter, to be a footnote in the history books. Lily found people didn't like helping each other. It was just another way to help themselves.

But she couldn't tell this to him. Not now. Not when she still had a friend. If she still did.

"Thanks. Um... I've got to..."

Why bother lying. She just grimaced and walked away, breathing shallowly.