"Is it bad that I keep having these thoughts? That I have doubts about everything that's going on with us? Would it be bad if I decided to leave her?"
"Ry.. I'm not one to get into your business, but I seriously think you need to talk with her. Maybe you can work things out before it gets to that. You have to think about Ciara. Would you want her to grow up with a broken family? With her father living in one place and her mother living in another?"
"I've thought about that but things just.. aren't the same. She seems like she's the same but I'm afraid that it'll happen again when I'm not around and Ciara will be hurt or worse. I don't want to lose my little girl. I just.. don't know what to do. I don't want to lose Maura either, but I need to sort out my thoughts."
"Then why don't you leave for a little? Take a couple of days for yourself and think about everything. If you can't come to another conclusion than to leave her then.. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe it's time for the two of you to let each other go."
That had hurt. That entire conversation had hurt both her and Ryo. She couldn't believe she had told her best friend that maybe it was time to leave the girl he had thought was the girl of his dreams. He had been so excited when he had first told her about Maura and even more excited when she was told about their expecting a baby. Ryo had been so enthusiastic about the entire thing and now she didn't think she would be able to live with herself if he really did decide to leave Maura. She would always think it was her fault.
She wasn't sure what Ryo was actually planning to do but one thing was for sure, he was confused. His head was all mixed up and so were his feelings. She really hoped that he would figure things out before he made a drastic decision. Hitame knew Ryo, he had a tendency to act without thinking much and she really hoped that he would think before acting this time.
The Gryffindor sat in the common room, a piece of parchment sitting in from of her. She was taping the quill in her hand on the bare table right next to the parchment as she thought. She had meant to take a few minutes to write a quick letter to Ryo but she realized that she had been sitting there for almost an hour now, thinking. This was happening too often now, after her little accident she had been zoning out a lot more recently and she was sure that it was a side-effect from the two spells hitting her at the same time.
She wondered briefly if there was anything that would help her with that. The only problem with finding out if her question had an answer was that it meant she would have to go the Hospital Wing and she really couldn't stand being in there. Just like with St. Mungo's she had been in their quite a few times in her younger years at the castle, so now she hated being there. Even if she was visiting someone, she was always fidgety and nervous like something was going to happen to her while she was there. Because of that, she hadn't even tried to figure out if there was something that would help her.
At least it wasn't so bad. Zoning was something she did anyways, so no one would really notice that she did it a lot more often unless they really knew her. At least she was awake and could speak and do everything else normally.
Hitame sighed. She realized she had just zoned out again, thinking about her zoning out(ironic isn't it?), and she had wasted even more time that she could have used to write her letter to Ryo. She really only wanted to know that he was okay and that he was actually thinking about what he was going to do with Maura and Ciara. She brought the quill to the parchment and began writing, knowing that if she didn't start writing now she probably wouldn't ever start writing.
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