Hello before goodbye

It's been a week since she saw Christian. It was suddenly and unexpectedly, and she couldn't denied she was shocked. She still is. Christian is here. And her fears, they became true. He left her willingly, probably thinking she wasn't good enough, and he was right. They argued last time throwing charges like curses, maybe it would be better if they resolve all with duel, her heart wouldn't ache this hard if they did. The pain in her chest was exceptional. Nym knew why, old scars are wide open again, burning and bleeding.

The blonde glanced at wooden box on the table in front of her. It was simple and undecorated but it was precious to her. Not box itself but things in it. That box contained all Christian's things which survived her cleaning. Well, not all, she left a few things at her home at purpose but as long as he doesn't know she's safe. And now, she was going to gave all these things to him. Not because she wanted to, but because it was the only way she devised to see him again. And Nym wanted to see him, she was some kind of addict, addicted to him, and now when her favourite drug is in town, she couldn't resist.

Christian will never understand women. Their way of thinking, their act, changing minds, it was all too much for him.
He'll probably never understand why Nym called him that morning.
Since he saw her last time she wasn't leaving his head. Truth, he felt better after talking to her, maybe because of the hate that she feels for him now. Anyway, he was finally able to move on.
But her call was something he didn't expected. It was like the thunder from the clear sky, she called, asking if they can see each other. Said she had some of his things that she wanted to gave him. He was confused at first, wasn't sure if that was good idea. Seeing her again may disrupt his minds, something he didn't wanted to happen again. But he wanted to see her, if not to hug her or kiss her, he'll be fine in seeing hur just for a few minutes then. So he just said 'Okay'.

When he found a restaurant where they were supposed to meet, he hesitated for the second, thinking that maybe he shouldn't come in. But he did. He noticed her right away, she was sitting nearby the door. A big box was on the table, things she needed to gave him back. When he approached her, he smiled a little, then sat down. "So, what was that you wanted to talk about again?" he asked like when he was talking with someone about business.

This conversation with Christian was one of the most weirdest Nymeria had in her life. She wrote very long letter, went to post office to find an owl, and sent him, and he send her back just one word. Okay. Also, he send via his owl, not the one she sent, although it would be easier that way. Sometimes she just couldn't understand that man no matter what, and that was one of that moments, she wished that they're more rarely but couldn't do anything to make them that way. Well, unless talking with him, and she doubted she's ready for step like that. She doubted she will ever be.

Nymeria crawled hand in her pocket to touch cold ring, she got it from Christian for no special reason, they walked, stopped there, she liked it, so he decided to buy it for her although she complained it's too expensive. That ring was one of the thing she didn't want to give back to him. Firstly because she wear it everyday on silver necklace under her shirt, and second, it's her favourite thing she got from him, along with his old shirt he gave her when she didn't had pajamas. Nymeria is sleeping in that shirt since then.

The blonde raised her look when doors opened, and met Chris' gaze. She watched him walking toward her, biting her lip the entire time. Nym was nervous, suddenly thinking this wasn't a good idea. She waited for him to sit and say something. After first words he say, going straight to business part, even sounding like businessman, she pushed the box toward him, silently.

It was a bit hard to act in front of that woman, but much easier than the last time he saw her. This time, he wasn't cut by surprise, he was prepared.
When he sat down and said what he said, the blond moved the box to him, without a word. He resist smile and instead of taking the box, he took the menu. Without a word he called the waiter, by waving his hand, ordered their favorite meal and two glasses of water. He just wanted to show her that he still remember some thing, well everything. He wanted to tells her that, but he was too stubborn, and she probably wouldn't believe him.

After he took the order, he waited for a few seconds, knowing that she's going crazy. He then took the box, looked in for a second and then put it down next to his chair. He was pretty sure that she wanted to keep that box on the table, so that he can't see her. But he wanted differently so now she was without any shield. He stared at her for a while, waiting for her to say something. It was easy playing this game, they done it so many times before.

Rage suddenly appeared in her heart pushing her blood faster through her veins. In this moment, when he ordered a meal for them, like they are on their usual date, she got an urge to kill him. Slowly.
She gazed away, focusing on a glass of vine in front of her. The vine was dark, almost black, and yet they still called it red, she actually has not know which vine was that, she just ordered a glass without looking at its sort. Nym hasn't touched it anyway. Nymeria carefully took a glass in her hand and brought it closer to the mouth. Glass, so fragile. Like many other things. Everything was like in slow motion, she thought she needed a few hours to took a sip. Instead of sip she drank whole glass. So classy, Nym, so classy.
She never drank that amount of vine that fast and had no idea how would she react to him. She simply didn't care. All she could thought was how bad idea this was. Nymeria wanted to undo all this. No, she did not, she liked every minute being around him. Like she's a butterfly and he's candle. She wanted to came so close although she knew that will bury her wings.

Nymeria knew he's waiting for her to start screaming so she kept her mouth shut with barely visible smile. She won't give him that pleasure. The blonde bit her tongue to not say anything when he moved the box, that box was her shield. That was the main reason she took the largest she could find - to create a barrier between them. And now the barrier was gone and there's nothing to stop his gaze.

Seeing Nym nervous was something he was looking forward for. She was angry, obviously, and she was trying to hard to hide it. Unfortunately for her, she was very bad actor. Christian couldn't resist a bright smile. He knew he's driving her crazy but the feeling was mutual.
Christian didn't move his gaze for a second, his green eyes were looking the blonde, trying to catch her gaze but it was harder than he thought. Nym started drinking the wine, and few seconds later her glass was empty. "Slow down Nym..eria, we both know that wine is not good for you." he said calmly, knowing that she knew what he ment. One time they were sitting on the roof of her home, drinking wine and watching stars. She got drunk very fast and all day tomorrow spent in the bed.

He was waiting until waiter brought him a glass of water. Christian waited for him to leave before he looked at Nym again. "Well you called me." he said then took one sip before he continued "Are we playing some kind of game or what?"

She rolled her eyes as he smiled. Nymeria knew he's enjoying seeing her angry but she has never been a good actor, something would always guessed what she thought at the moment. It was annoying at most times, but she liked it, before. No, not that, but seeing his triumphant smile. Like one he had now. His eyes are flickering and he looked her like she's the most important person in the room, or at least that was the way he did it before. This time he had a hint of something she couldn't recognize in his eyes. They seemed brighter and more green than they were before, its hazel color completely vanished. And his smile. If she was right it was a little sadder then before but still amusing. Her cheeks became light pink as she turned her gaze away. She need to avoid his sight, all of him precisely.

Nym bit her lip as he said her name. Chris still called her Nymeria, although this time he started saying Nym but than finished with eria, but there was still a tiny hole between those two words. She hoped he'll forget to say second word the next time. Wait! Nymeria remind herself she insisted to be called Ms. Evanesco, why would she now want her old nickname back? It's confusing. She need to get back to business.

The blonde ignored his remark about her and wine but her cheeks betrayed her becoming even more redder. She tried to hide beneath her hair, hoping he won't notice that. That would made him only more proud, like she needed that. She shook her head answering on his question. "No. I just wanted to gave you back all these things. I kept them in case you came back and when you're here now there is no reason for holding this futurer. As long as we're done, we could move on." She fight to keep her voice normal. Only imagining him moving on, having another girlfriend, later wife, maybe even kids. He choose to leave her, and he had every right to do that and move on with his life, she couldn't blame him for that. And yet she still is.

There's one thing about Nym that Christian will never understand. They were that close that he knew what she's thinking. And even now he can, without any problem, complete her sentences. He knew that she's still weak on him, and that was something he couldn't live with. That knowledge was killing him, but at the same time was giving him hope.
However, Nym was never able to read him correctly, and she probably had totally wrong idea of his feelings. But there was nothing he could do, at least for now.
Her cheeks went red, which she tried to hide, but she probably knew he noticed it. Christian thought it was sweet, it reminded him of old days.
Driving people crazy is something Christian learned from his brother. It was very helpful, especially in occasions like this one, when he needed to be the one to control the situation and conversation. And it was even easier with Nym, cause she still had feelings for him. He didn't know whether to celebrate or kill himself for that. It was so obvious, he just hoped that Nym will see it too. They still love each other, they always did. Why that they have to go through all of this?

He smiled as her face went even redder. One more thing he'll never understand about her. When they met, her face was exactly the same color as it was now. He smiled even brighter as he recalled that memory.
For the first time he looked at the box. It was big, but not even nearly enough for everything. He knew every sing thing he gave her, and he knows which one she loves the most. He met her gaze, before he started talking.

"So when I come home, I will find the ring? Or pendant with our names? Oh, or my grey shirt you stole the first day we met?" watching her curiously, he hoped the answer will be negative.
He closed his eyes when she mentioned something about moving on. He couldn't listen to that things, because he will never move on.
"Nymeria, Nymeria.. we will never be done. We can't be. And let's be realistic. We will never move on. Do you wanna know why?" he said quietly, but the way he said it was like he was talking about some random things.

Nymeria chose looking at other people than looking at Christian. Not because she found them more interesting but because she knew he'll know what she's thinking about. And she couldn't let that happen. Seeing him again lit the old flame in her chest. The flame for whom she thought it was gone, that she will never feel that way again. And now it's here again, lit by just one look at him. If someone would tell her that will happen she wouldn't believe him. And yet she felt the same as before he left. Nym hated the fact she still feel something for him, that his smile still can make her day better, and his gaze made her tremble. Like now.
It would be easier to hate him otherwise.

Watching other customers wasn't as easy as she thought it will be. Although it was late afternoon it was middle of the week so the bistro was pretty empty. There was just some man reading The Daily Prophet and some family with two small children. Two boys, both dark haired and not older than six years running around the table while they patents watched him with smiles. As much as the man who read was boring the family was so happy that Nymeria couldn't watch them any longer because they remind her of what she lost. Family. It's quite funny how you start appreciate something only after you lose it.

Nymeria gazed Christian only to look away when he start speaking. He counted exactly those things she didn't put in the box. The ring was in her pocket now and usually on a chain around her neck. never departed from that ring although she pull it off her finger after she realized he left. The shirt was under her pillow, ready for Nym to pull it right before going to sleep. At first she wore his shirt because it remind her of his arms around her and later she simply couldn't sleep without it. Nym realized she was addicted to him much longer than she thought.
"It wasn't when we met. When we met you wore.." She stopped herself and change the topic. "I didn't stole it, you gave it to me after you ruin my t-shirt. Did I supposed to walk naked than?" She raised her eyebrows and bit her lip after realizing what she said and how did that seemed.
"Why? Come on, enlighten me O'Sullivan." The only time when Nymeria used his surname was when she was pissed, but this time she used it trying to distant herself from him. It should be easier to walk away later. Should it?

As someone who is good in noticing small things, it wasn't hard to realize that what he actually thought was the truth. Nym was too scared to look at him, or she just couldn't stand him and she was trying to be polite so she needed some kind of an occupation? But she's not like that, at least she wasn't. It must be the first one. She looked said for a second so he followed her gaze, just in time to see two boys running around their parents. He smirked ironically, as he realised that they were the same know. She has lost her family, and so is he. Actually, now he had more than her, he still had brother and cousin, aunt and a living father. And she had no one.

There are things that are precious to us, because of their beauty or history, or because they remind us to the person who gave it to us. Christian knew Nym could never gave him back certain things, and he hoped it was because of memories. At least, she kept the bear he won for her while they were in Disneyland. He smiled a bit, happy that she still remembers these things.
"You didn't answer my question, so I'll assumed you kept it." he said smiling "It wasn't like that. I bumped into your room, you were in that tiny pink towel. You face was like a carrot in that moment and I didn't know what to do so I put off my shirt and gave it to you. I was quite a red too." while he was asking he was looking around the place. He caught her biting her lip and he couldn't resist smile. "I never ruin your shirt Nymeria. It wasn't my fault that you're bad catcher. And as for walking naked, it's your idea, your suggestion. Just saying."

Calling him by his last name made Chris rolled his eyes. And was it that hard for her to see the truth? Christian hated explanations but this may be his chance to establish relationship with her again. He hoped she'll understand, he hoped for negative answer. He took a deep breath before he started talking.
"We can't be done and we can't move one because we love each other too much. We both fight against that but there you go, the simple truth is that we will never be able to fully erase our memories and our love. You may say that you don't love me, fine. But you know you're fooling yourself, just as I do. And I know you know that I love you, and you know that I know that you love me. Why are we hurting ourselves? Why can't we just accept things?"