Most Times I Feel Just Like a Sailboat

Katherine hadn't been on the train since the beginning of last year, unlike most students returning to Hogwarts. She hadn't taken the Hogwarts Express to King's Cross in order to go home. Instead, just before Christmas she had been forced to take the floor from the Head of House's office in order to visit St. Mungo's. And then, a good while later, had been transferred to a Muggle hospital. Now, after she had found out the truth about her illness, Kit was terrified to have to face the people she had gone to school with previously.

She would be going into her fifth year, even though she should have been a sixth year student, and aside from the medical attention, she was also one of the few who had managed to get out of the Marriage Law. Now, all she could think about was having to face the people who would judge her or dislike her or even taunt her for everything that had happened. Beyond that, of course, there were the people she had been friends with before she got sick that past December. Those that she had known would expect her to be the old Kit, when really she was vastly different now.

Words didn't come so easily, and even when alone with people she didn't act as outgoing and occasionally reckless as she had throughout her Hogwarts years. Even her elder brothers couldn't manage it most days, and they were graduates now so they wouldn't be around to keep an eye out for her. Kit just felt like she was drifting, waiting for someone to come along and ground her. At the same time, though, she was terrified that someone would try.

Her trunk, pulled along, felt heavier than the previous years. When she found an open compartment near the back of the train, Katherine hoped that no one would bother walking that far, or if they did, they would see who it was and think her strange enough not to want to share a compartment. Pushing the door open, she moved in, stood on the seat, and stuck her trunk in the contraption that would keep it in place should anything bizarre happen. Pulling out her Transfiguration textbook, she set her back against the far wall next to the window, ensuring that the cover of the book would face the door. Hopefully that would frighten off any curious compartment invaders.

Today was the day Bertie would be returning to Hogwarts. A lot had happened over his summer break, a lot more than usual in any case. The Ravenclaw had quite happily found himself a summer job at Flourish and Blotts and things had been going relatively well, that was until he heard a disturbance in the apothecary next door and found himself walking into a murder scene.

Isadora Malfoy was the person behind it. How exactly it had happened Bertie still couldn't quite figure out, the girl had told him a tale that she'd poisoned but Bertie was sure there was more to it than that, would Isadora really admit to something like that? Besides the back window being smashed through there was no sign of a break in and wouldn't she have ran out of the shop for help?

A part of Bertie blamed himself for the murder. He'd heard yelling from the apothecary earlier that day, if only he'd gone and investigate then as opposed to later. On the other hand maybe it was a good thing that his curiosity had been delayed. Who knows what Isadora would have done to him when in the murderous mind set.

The imagine of the mans rigor mortis frame and these thoughts had haunted Bertie since. The next day he'd requested the day off from work and resigned from his position at Flourish and Blotts. Fear. It was down to his fear of what Malfoy would do to him if he lingered too much, would she suspect him of keeping an eye on her? It was already paining him enough that he couldn't tell anybody and now, now was that dreaded day he returned to Hogwarts and would be seeing her face in the common room and corridors.

Stepping onto the train he decided to head to one of the compartments furthest down the train, a compartment he hoped Isadora wouldn't head to. He had a plan: He'd stay out of her way. Of course Bertie wouldn't be able to keep this secret forever but when he got to Hogwarts he'd be safe, Professor Cooper was there - Professor Du Hunt too - they wouldn't let anything happen to him and Viv? It would be Viv he'd tell, if he found the courage to defy Isadora's threats.  

'Sorry, do you mind if I sit here?' Bertie asked hovering by the compartment door and not paying attention to who was sat in the compartment. Instead looking over his shoulder on high alert for any signs of Isadora Malfoy.

As if the boy had heard Katherine wishing that nobody would interrupt her or walk into her little bubble of safety, in he came. Stranger, though, was the fact that he hadn't looked at Kit at all, except perhaps at a glance to know that someone was in the compartment. So she hesitated, unsure if he really truly meant it. When he didn't leave, though, Katherine pulled her knees to her chest in an attempt to feel smaller. To make herself smaller.

Perhaps if he looked over and understood how strange she really was, the boy would want to leave and find some people who appeared to make sense. It would mean fewer attempts at interacting, and less embarrassment. Somehow, it had been easier to talk to Muggles who didn't have the abilities she did, if only because she was essentially without them as well. Kit hadn't even tried to use Magic since before last Christmas, and wasn't completely sure she was ready to try again. Everything seemed more difficult than it had the year before. When everything had made sense.

Looking at him more closely, Katherine blinked, surprised to realize that she actually recognized him somewhat. Ravenclaw, she was sure. But she wasn't sure why she knew him. The cover of her book slammed shut as she released it without thinking, and Kit jumped, a loud gasp leaving her. The action made her feet extend and hit the floor of the compartment, he cheeks turning an awfully bright red.

"Sorry," she muttered, turning her chin so she could gaze at the seats across from her instead of at the boy. "I was reading. I didn't - um. You're perfectly welcome, yes."

Jessica had walked into the train after she had said good time ro her family. This year she won't have any family members coming with her now. Her sister did graduates few years ago and brother did graduated few months ago. She will miss him near here now. They did get along quite well.

She walked around the train and wondered where ahe would sit this time. She more liked to be end of the train. So it was place where she headed too. She soon decided she was quite far and she saw one boy standing on the door and waiting if he could go in. She decided she would go there too.

He walked behind him. "Hey, is okay if I join too?" She asked now from both of them there. She didn't really wanna sit alone. She smiled to them too and waited for answer now.

Upon hearing some sort of reply Bertie sneaked into the compartment and quietly closed the door behind him before finally turning his attention to the occupant. A girl, a girl he recognised rather well. The two hadn't actually spoken to each other, bizarrely owing to the fact that they were in the same year, but he knew her name all the same.

Katherine Avery. A lot had happenes to her the past year, not unlike Bertie. The girl had been absent from Hogwarts after he returned from a three month vacation in St Mungo's isolation unit. There had been rumours flying around the castle about her health, similar to him. Some of the gossip had been that she'd died, other people simply stated she had been sent to St Mungo's - a few people asked Bertie if he'd seen her once they had gotten over the shock that he wasn't in fact dead. Of course his answer had been no, which accidently strengthened rumours of another possible Ravenclaw death - and when Bertie tried to correct them in that it wouldnt be 'another' his small voice was easily unheard.

'Hello, Kit. How are you feeling?' Bertie asked quietly as he sat himself on the seat opposite. Usually the Ravenclaw would have simply smiled and put his nose into a book but this was different. The girl before him would be going through something he had only gone through a few months ago. Returning to Hogwarts after a brief absence was difficult enough but returning after illness was even harder. She wouldn't yet know his story, heck maybe she was still under the impression he had died when taken off to St Mungos in October. None the less he wanted to show his support, let her know she wasn't alone in however she was feeling.

Before Kit could reply the sound of the sliding compartment door alerted the Ravenclaw. His heart beat, eyes widened and colour drained as his brown eyes darted towards the door. A sigh of relief. It wasn't Isadora Malfoy as the fifth year had feared, instead a girl who Bertie believed to be called Jessica - ironically in the same year as Isadora.

Bertie didn't answer her question instead he looked to Kit. Although he had no objections to her joining Bertie ft it not his place to say. Kit was no doubt anxious, slightly intimidated by her return to the castle and the Ravenclaw didn't want to invite nore people to overcrowd her before she even got there. That was up toKatherine if she wanted more people around her

Katherine blinked in slight surprise at the boy's question, suddenly feeling guilty for not knowing his name when he clearly knew hers. Yes, she definitely recognized him, but before her time away she had just kept to herself or her small collection of friends. Plus, her brothers were gone and now she was at a loss as to who she should cling to. She was debating an answer, and whether or not to admit that she wasn't sure how to address him, when the door opened and Jessica looked in.

"Yes, that's fine," Katherine replied, confused for a moment when the boy looked to her in silent question. But then she realized that if he knew her, it made sense for him to understand how wary she was. Since she already knew Jessica, Katherine thought it would be polite and proper and all the rest if she actually admitted to her lack of knowledge about the other boy. "I'm sorry," she began. "I don't recall your name. I'm sure I've seen you around, but... Well, I wasn't too outgoing, even last year, I'm afraid."

As if fate just had it in for her, a sound came from the sliding door for the third time. A knock, this time, but not from someone's hand. Looking over, Kit's face fell as she looked up at the man who had tapped his cane against the door. Katherine had never seen Professor Hayes as a role model, per se, but he had actually been rather kind to his students for a Slytherin Head of House. Seeing him walking into the compartment with a limp actually saddened her to some extent - especially because he reminded Kit of Sharon, and that just made her all the more upset. She wouldn't be able to visit the woman who filled that grandmother role - at least not until Holiday.

"Morning," Mr. Hayes greeted them, lowering himself carefully onto the seat next to Katherine. She was a little bit shocked that he didn't ask to join them, but at the same time was grateful for the potential of his distracting the others with questions.

"Hello, Professor Hayes," she offered, blinking up at him.

"Ah, I'm not a professor anymore, Miss Avery," he returned almost sadly. "My wife, on the other hand, will be, now." Shrugging, he leaned back against the seat and looked over at the other Ravenclaws. "The Ministry has asked me to come in to help with counseling. It will be... Interesting.

"But what about you all, then? Miss Wendorf, I hope you enjoyed your summer," he offered by way of greeting. Looking over at Bertie and Kit, though, he added, "And I hope you two are feeling better and prepared for the year."

Had this been a fellow male fifth year, with one whom Bertie shared a dormitory with, perhaps he would have been a little more offended. The boys didn't talk to each other that much or, to put it a better way, Bertie didn't talk to the boys that much but they did at least share a bedroom. Kit on the otherhand, sure they had been in classes together for three years before their rather ill fourth year but he rarely spoke to her, the teachers never really addressed the students by their names often and whenever they did it was for answering a question something Bertie didn't tend to do. He was more of an observant learner as opposed to a hands on, interactive one.

I'm sure I've seen you around.

Of course they'd seen each other around. They were sorted together, were in the same classes, partied in the same common room whenever Ravenclaw won a Quidditch Match. In an attempt to really put it past him the Ravenclaw simply gave his fellow fifth year a friendly smile and replied: 'Bertie.'

So she couldn't recall who he was, clearly Kit had been going through a hard time and was most likely feeling anxious about returning to Hogwarts. Bertie had been excited about his return, but if Katherine was still recovering perhaps she'd rather hide away. He understood how she felt. He himself wanted to do just that upon returning to rumours that he had died - even Vivianna had believed him to have passed on.

Once again the sound of the sliding compartment door made Bertie jump a little in his seat, fearing Isadora Malfoy had found him. Thankfully it was Professor Hayes. Wait. Professor Hayes was returning to Hogwarts? He had been transfiguration Professor but had resigned at some point during Bertie's temporary leave of absence. The Ravenclaw had returned to the school to find a supply teacher covering their transfiguration classes, which hadn't been the best situation given the fact it was Bertie's worst subject.

Counselling? What counselling? Had Bertie missed something? Had there been an article in the Daily Prophet, a scandal that had caused everyone to require counselling? He'd been so wrapped up trying to forget about the crime he'd seen that Bertie was so out of touch with happenings in the Wizarding World.

Truth be told Bertie could do with some counselling himself. The sight of the dead mans body was poisoning his mind, forever engraved to the front of his skull. Sometimes when he saw a big bag lying in the street the Ravenclaw had gasped mis-seeing it as the dead werewolves body. The image haunted his dreams, had put him off eating (he had lost weight) and even writing.

For something like this Bertie would have turned to his diary but he simply couldn't. It would help him work through the problem, the lies but the Ravenclaw couldn't go through with it. He couldn't muster the courage to pick up a quill and scribble about the event. A part of him didn't want to plague his diary with such a monstrous recount but really the reason was fear. What if somebody found his diary? Read through his feelings? Found out the real reason for resigning from Flourish And Blotts? What if it became public knowledge Isadora Malfoy was a cold blooded killer? Would he be her next victim?

Bertie tried to convince himself into turning her in, writing a letter to the ministry explaining everything. Sure he would die, no skin off of his nose for he'd be dead. He wouldn't know. But his death wouldn't just be about him, he'd be leaving behind family and friends. All Bertie thought about was how the dead werewolves people, whether they were fellow fugitives or not, didn't have any closure on his disappearance. They were unaware of his death and would probably live their lives half expecting him to walk into the kitchen asking for a cup of tea or whatever it was werewolves drank.

'What is the counselling for?' Bertie asked, 'I thought any problems students had were dealt with by the Heads of Houses?' At least that had been the way last year when Bertie had been ill. Professor Cooper had helped him through it, made sure that he felt comfortable upon his return to Hogwarts.

Jessica then nodded and walked in there. She saw there Kit and boy whose name even she couldn't remember what it was, they really aren't never talked before or so. She heard him say now his when Kit basically had asked it.

Even before she could take a seat somewhere, Mr. Hayes did came in. "Em, hello," she said there now and took seat now somewhere there. She listened what others said and just nodded her head there.

She didn't need a counseling right now. There wasn't anything about what she really needed to talk with someone or could need counseling. Her life was good and yeah she couldn't find nothing wrong with it.

She smiled there and kept being quiet. She figures suddenly that she should say something. "Yeah, my summer was pretty good. Nothing much didn't happen there of course. Spent it with family and also with friends too of course," she said there then with a smile.

"Mostly to do with the Marriage Law and apprenticeships," Keiran explained, shrugging one shoulder. "General inter-student issues. I may be wrong, but I believe that the Minister hopes to give the Heads of Houses more time for things like school work, extra sessions for tutoring... As far as I understand, it's not meant to be a huge change, but more helpful."

Katherine wasn't sure she wanted to deal with counseling. She didn't want to talk about how she wasn't supposed to be a fifth year or how everyone she used to have class with would be in bigger and better courses without her. She would have to find some fifth years to befriend, eventually, even though she did still have Jessica to talk to in some ways. But she especially didn't want to talk about her father.

That relationship was actually rather decent considering everything that had happened, and she really didn't want Professor Hayes or his his wife - or, rather, the new Professor Hayes and her husband - to start prying. She didn't want to talk about much of anything, actually. It just wasn't her forte anymore. So she was actually grateful when Mr. Hayes started asking after the others in the compartment.

Just as Katherine was about to offer some semblance of a reply in return, the train car shook with a burst of what could only have been wind. Startled, she looked out at the window and then leaned towards the sliding door to see if anyone in the other compartments had noticed. Shouts of surprise were going up in the hall by the time a confused frown made its way onto Keiran's face.

"I'm sure it was nothing. No need to worry," Keiran murmured, waiting until Katherine had relaxed into her seat once more before turning to take note of Jessica's reply. He, too, had ended up spending much of his time with his wife and kids, but really that hadn't started until his accident. Much more had brought them to that point outside of just the battle and his injury, but the real bonding had begun after. "That's good," he nodded, giving her a smile. "Family is definitely more important than some people realize."

Kit looked to Bertie, determined to remember him after the train ride, because he seemed to be genuinely nice. It surprised her, though, that Mr. Hayes asked if the boy was feeling better. A concerned look crossed her face as she glanced over at him, before she finally answered. "It, um, turns out that I didn't have what they thought I did. So I should be fine." She explained, adding a firm nod as if it would convince herself as well.

The marriage law of course, how could Bertie have forgotten. Half the nurses at St Mungo's had been partnered up during his stay over Christmas. For many of them it had been their first Christmas with their new partners, for some, who'd been granted a wealthy wizard they had nothing to groan about; others hadn't been so lucky. One of the nurses had already had five arguments with her match and she'd only known him two days. It now made sense to Bertie to have a specialist counselor to deal with upcoming Hogwarts pairs. What if Vivianna had been paired with a show off Gryffindor who didn't know his head from his ass. A counselor would most likely need to deal with that mess.

Bertie was lucky he was still fifteen and wouldn't turn sixteen until June. For another year at Hogwarts he'd be worry free, until sixth year but hopefully their relationship would be sorted and sealed over the Summer break. He may have been in St Mungo's for having a mutated form of the Green Itch and walked in on a murder scene but the Ravenclaw was lucky in some respects.

The train gave a violent shake, causing Bertie's stomach lurch - he always was an easy target when it came to motion sickness. However this feeling was soon forgotten when Katherine made a statement about whatever it was she had had been misdiagnosed, or something along those lines. Bertie had tried not to suck into the rumors of her disappearance, his reappearance seemed to divert everyone's attention from them owing the fact he was supposedly dead. However, no doubt Katherine's return would spark attention. Bertie knew how she felt there.

Something only just registered with Bertie, he often had a habit of a delayed response. Didn't Professor Hayes say his wife would be a Professor? Melissa Hayes? Fresh out of Hogwarts returning as a Professor? What subject would she be teaching, surely that mean't one teacher had resigned - or had gotten fired?

'What subject will your wife be teaching?' Bertie asked politely. He didn't know Melissa personally, nor did she know him at all but Professor Hayes and Melissa were being marketed as the Ministry's success story. The partnered pair were living proof of how excellent the marriage law was... Bertie still had his doubts about the whole thing.