A Decision Must Be Made

Hitame stared at the cup Audriana had given to her as she held it in her hands. She give the cup a light squeeze as she began to explain what had happened to her. Why didn't she remember any of it? Was she not supposed to? Probably not, considering she was hit by two spells at the same time. But it bothered her that she didn't know what happened to her.

Apollo and Audriana were explaining what happened, that should be enough for her. But it wasnt. She didn't want to be told about what happened, it made things worse for her. Hitame smiled at Apollo, thankful that he had remembered she didn't like hospitals. "Thanks.. I think I would have freaked out if I woke up in one of those beds." She was exaggerating either, the last time she woke up in a St. Minho hospital bed, she nearly ran out of the room and hospital to keep herself away from them.

She thought it was cute. That Apollo was worried about her, that is. She'd been so used to everyone leaving her alone to deal with her own things that it was odd to know that someone was worried about her. She assumed that was one thing she loved about h, though there were a lot of other things.

Hitame nodded, turning her head to the Slytherin. "Yeah.. I'm fine. I just wish I could remember exactly what happened to me." She sighed. All she remembered was running out of the cafe before she blurted out her feelings for Apollo and bolting down the street to where she assumed she was found afrerwards.

"I'm sorry.." She said softly, lowering we gaze and head so her hair fell into her face. "I made you worry. And I shouldn't have left the cafe the way I did." She nearly whispered.

"Yes," Audriana replied gently, pushing herself to stand in front of the two students. "He was quite sure that you would do so."

It amused her to an extent that these two were only friends. Apollo had his chin turned towards her, hands squeezing her arms so she wouldn't feel alone. Deciding that the two might need to talk, Audriana stepped around the low coffee table and towards her room, which was located at the end of the longest hall in the home. "If you need anything, be sure to let me know. Until then, I'll let you talk. It might be good to figure out how you're feeling once you've settled a bit."

Apollo thanked her with a silent nod, then looked back at Hitame as she spoke again. "I know. But if it's hard right now we don't have to talk about it. I mean, you could always write it down if that's easier. You don't even have to show it to me. Just... just whatever makes it better for you right now."

He shook his head at her apology, rejecting it entirely. "I'm not upset with you, Hit. Honestly. I'm just concerned for you. Friends don't let each other deal with things like this alone, you know? So I'm going to worry regardless of the fact that you don't think I need to. I do worry about you. But I think it makes some sense. So if there's anything that isn't quite right for you, you can tell me. Or you can tell Audriana. I think she truly means well. She wants to help.

"I have no reason to think we can't trust her. Not yet, anyway. Maybe you can talk with her about Sophia or about things you would normally have talked to Sophia about, if you need to. She's a mum, so she's probably got that mothering thing down," he added with a light chuckle. "Just know you have options. That's all I'm getting at. And you have help from the two of us, if nothing else."

"Thank you.." Hitame said as she watched Audriana leave the room, giving her a weak smile. She couldn't help but wonder if the woman felt obligated to help her because of whatever other situation she had witnessed where practically the same thing had happened, minus the effects. Whether she felt that way or not wasn't really her business, but nonetheless Hitame was grateful to her for helping.

Once she was out of site, the Gryffindor looked up at Apollo who was still close at her side. She wanted to lean into him, let his warmth wrap around her - it was already so close. But for some reason, she felt as though that would be wrong. But I want to be close to him.. Her lips trembled slightly as they parted, words on the tip of her tongue as she wanted to speak again but Apollo beat her to it.

He wasn't accepting her apology, instead beginning to lecture her. She almost laughed, but she could only stare at him with widened eyes as he spoke, his words bringing tears to her eyes. She had to admit, though, hearing him call them friends stung a little bit. They were friends, yeah, but hearing him say it crushed her hopes of them being something more a bit. Of course, he wouldn't know that.. Considering she ran out if the café before she revealed her feelings.

Maybe running away hadn't been a good idea. Of course it wasn't, you twit. She scolded herself mentally.

But it wasn't too late to tell him, right? Or maybe it was. Even if it was, she had to justify herself somehow and why not by telling him the truth? She listened to him until he finished speaking, taking a moment to think about what he'd said about Audriana. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to trust her as much as I do Sophia. I'm grateful that she was willing to help me.. But I just don't know. I will try to talk to her though, if I need it, and you too.. But, Apollo.. I need to tell you something.."

She took a deep breath. "When I left the café. Do you remember that I almost said something but I ran away before I finished?" She but her lip hard for a moment, trying to will herself to go on. She let out a shaky sigh and continued, "I don't.. I don't know if you'll care but.. I was going to say something to you about - about how I feel. A -about you.." She stopped again, swallowing hard.

She moved herself away from him slightly, turning enough so she faced him completely with one of her legs crossed on the couch. "I was-I was going to s-say t-that I..." She hesitated for a moment and then blurted out, a lot louder than she hoped she would, "I like you!" She felt an intense blush appear on her face from both the volume of her voice and the revelation of her feelings. The girl stared down at her leg, her hair covering her face as it dangled in front of her features, and she curled her hands that were resting on her leg into fists. She clenched the fabric of her pants tightly in her hands, refusing to look up at Apollo's face.

"In fact," she let out a soft, shaky laugh that sounded more like se was crying than laughing, "I think I... I think I l-love you Apollo." A tear drop fell from her face and landed on her pants, dying the fabric a darker shade of blue with it's wetness.

At her question, Apollo nodded, his eyebrows pulling together in confusion. "Yes, of course," he replied, not entirely sure why she was bringing it up just then. But, perhaps with the shock of it all, Hitame just wanted to think about something else. So he didn't try to stop her. Instead, he just tilted his head to the side and watched her as she continued.

Why wouldn't he care? Especially if it was about him. He was impossibly curious, and her stuttering just made him all the more anxious. She announced it, though, finally. And Apollo simply blinked at her, hoping desperately that she couldn't feel his sharp intake of breath, quiet though the reaction was. It was lucky that she had moved away a bit, though he found himself wishing she hadn't. Earlier, he could have hid his expression behind her shoulder, but now he wasn't sure at all what to do.

But then she was crying, and he started to panic. Sitting forward, he lifted a hand to her cheek, brushing away any sign of tears with his thumb. "Hey," he started carefully. "It's okay, Hit. It's okay." Apollo tucked her hair behind her ear so it couldn't cover her face anymore before he continued.

"I'm going to speak honestly, now. You know that I don't always prefer to do so, but I hope you also know that I have never lied to you. I wouldn't. So please believe me when I say that I haven't taken an objective look at our... relationship yet. It means a lot to me that you said something, but I just don't know how I feel yet. I know that I care about you, but as to the extent of that... I cannot say. Not yet," he repeated, brushing his thumb across her cheek again.

What could he say, really? That his father probably wouldn't approve - at least not completely. Or that he hadn't ever thought about it because he had been so focused on finding a way to pursue the career he really wanted. It wasn't about her at all. He just hadn't been considering it. Well, until now. Now he was completely consumed by the question. So much so that he didn't realize he was still leaning towards her, his fingers twined a short distance into her hair.

"For now, just...," Apollo shook his head as he tried to find the words, "focus on feeling safe again, okay? And I'll stay with you as long as you need me to. As for what you've told me, you don't need to worry about me saying anything or about it changing anything. I don't want to mess things up here, just as you didn't. It won't change."

Maybe love hadn't been the best word to use there. She'd almost immediately started to feel dumb after she had told him how she felt, but even though what he told her had stung a little bit it wasn't his fault. He was being honest, and she was just a little stupid. She appreciated that he was being honest with her though, since this matter wasn't one that could be taken too lightly.

Hitame sighed, though her grip on her pant leg did not change. Her hands had begun to shake slightly from the force she was holding the fabric with and though she tried to calm herself down, she couldn't get her hands to release her pants. Hitame looked at Apollo, eyes glistening with tears and her hands finally relaxed when his hand reached her cheek. "I kind of expected you to say something like that." she admitted.

"Actually, I honestly thought that you would just flat out reject me. It would have been okay." she murmured mostly to herself. "I just needed to say that though. I needed to tell you, so you'd know why I freaked out the way I did when you said I could go live with you. Though I misunderstood initially. I do that often, in case you haven't noticed." she laughed softly, but it sounded kind of sad.

Why am I dumb? She asked herself, pulling her head away from Apollo's hand. Hitame lifted her hand to her eyes to wipe the remaining tears that lingered on the brim of her eyes and she sniffled softly before letting her hand drop to her laps. She stared down at her hands that both lay, one of top of the other, on her laps, not wanting to look up at Apollo just yet.

"Okay.." she whispered, giving a slight nod at his request. She needed to focus on getting better after what had happened. She felt safe enough, but she wasn't sure how long it would be before something else happened that made her feel like she wasn't. Something always seemed to ruin things for her and even though she wasn't sure what was going to happen this time, if anything even did, she didn't want it to affect her too much. Which was exactly why she needed to focus on herself for a bit.

The Gryffindor smiled at Apollo slightly, feeling relieved at his words. She had wanted for nothing to change so badly, and when she had told him how she felt she thought things would change between them. But something told her that not everything would be the same, even though Apollo said it would be. After finding out how she felt about him, something was bound to change between them even if it was only going to be slight. And in all honesty..

She was scared.