This daydream is dangerous

Hallie was late. Something that Hallie hadn't been before. She'd been late to work, lessons, meetings but never late in the anatomical sense. Perhaps it was because before now she'd always been cautions, took precautions but as her love for Theodore strengthened the barriers fell and Hallie had forgotten her guard. Hallie was late.

It would take five minutes or so before the pregnancy test would show any result, or at least that's what the muggle packaging from the village pharmacy read. Hallie wasn't sure whether it would even work, she was a witch. Did the pregnancy tests muggles invented work on withes? Just to be sure Hallie had puchased five different tests, all from five different brands. The blonde would have gone for ten but being a small village in the middle of, well, nowhere, The Village of Ambleside didn't stock up on a variety of pregnancy tests.

Toby was out, which was good, otherwise it would be pretty hard to what she was doing - especially if she banned him from the bathroom even though she wasn't using it. Her tests were there biding their time before a result could be shown and whilst waiting Hallie had felt the need to head downstairs and get herself a glass of water for her nerves. Not that she needed anymore water for she'd already drank two liters to make herself urinate. How traumatic taking a test was.

Hallie had spoken to Maura about it when they met up in Diagon Alley but the witch had kept the subject far from conversation with Theodore. How would he react? Would he be angry? Would he leave her, demand a new wife? He'd be a bit of a hippocryte if he did considering it 'takes two to tango' as her Mother would always say at any scandals where the women had gotten the blame.

She couldn't be pregnant! Granted they had done it a lot... a great deal indeed since they'd made up but falling pregnant? Hopefully Hallie was simply late, that's all, hopefully she'd find herself in a few days laughing at the thought she was ever pregnant.

One more minute left.

Placing the glass down on the kitchen table Hallie made her way to the hallway where the sound of a key turning in the lock made her freeze. Amelia was at Hogwarts, Toby was out with a friend somewhere, Theodore was... Surely Theodore wouldn't have come to Cooper Cottage, they'd been staying at his house in London. Which mean't one thing: a burglar. Heart racing Hallie reached for the vase on table in the hallway and held her guard.

'GET OUT!' Hallie cried as the door opened, revealing her husband.

SMASH. The vase had slipped from her hands in shock of Theodore's appearence. Shards of glass cascaded along the wooden floor, tearing a hole in Hallie's left sock.

'Theodore. Y-you scared me.' Hallie gasped, clutching her chest.

Spring had sprung all of a sudden, abandoning the oppressive winter storms and emerging fresh and new with a great promise in store for the summer ahead. It was a change that Theodore found himself immensely grateful for and he was certainly determined to make the most of it while he still could before it turned again in time for April showers. The sunshine was bright and sustained though so at least for this week it looked as though he'd be able to potter around in Amelia's garden, shooing out the gnomes that were just beginning to take up residence once more.

The night before, Theo had gone home in order to give Hallie some space. Whilst things were good now, Theo didn't want to crowd his wife and he was certainly happy for a little change of scenery. His house was actually beginning to look like a home and he was eager to finish it off. The days now were spent in Elijah's house educating the students that were now partially his responsibility. In the afternoon though, Theo was a spare part so he often either went home or back to Cooper Cottage with Toby for lunch. Today, the kid had a date or something. Theo hadn't teased him.. much. Nevertheless he let the lad go and went to the bakery in the village by the cottage, hoping to pick up something for him and Hallie to share; then it was off to the grocers because he'd offered to cook that evening.

With the bags in hand, Theo walked up the lane, took a left where the dirt road began and came up on the cottage. The flower beds needed to be replanted with some fresh bulbs, he observed as he came up on the door and with that he made the decision to go down to the gardening centre before the day was up and get the bulbs in either that afternoon or the following day. Virtual unemployment didn't bother Theo as much is used to. Amelia didn't seem to mind him messing around in the garden and the kids kept him busy enough. Needless to say, he wasn't bored.

Setting his bags down, Theo took his keys out of the pocket of the cardigan he'd thrown on over his shirt that morning and shoved the amber instrument into the lock. He turned it, unlocking the door, and picked up the bags once more, nudging the door open with his foot.

"GET OUT!"

"Jesus Christ!"

The bags hit the base of the porch for the second time and Theodore, freezing with a start, stared, stunned, for a few seconds at his wife.

"Hello to you too, wife of mine." Theodore chuckled, finding his wits once more.

Theodore didn't worry about the bags. It was a sleepy village full of elderly people who could probably afford their own veg, fish and pastries - they didn't need to steal his. He stepped inside, ignoring the crunch of the vase underfoot, and took Hallie's hands, gathering them up in his larger ones. Theo popped a kiss on her knuckles, rubbing his fingers across the backs of her hands as she did so, as though invisible wounds were there.

"What's gotten you so spooked?" He asked, his eyes searching hers. "Didn't your mum tell you I'd be coming back? You alright, love?"

Hallie remained frozen for a moment or too, her body not fighting Theodore's lips against her knuckles or his deep eyes gazing into her before replying: 'No.' No her Mother hadn't told her that Theodore would be coming back. If she'd known that then she would have used a public toilet, a bit risky but a large enough disabled toilet would had done the trick even if a queue were to form outside the door.

Retracting her hand from Theodore she allowed her eyes to fall to the shattered vase. Withdrawing her wand she gave a quick wave of her hand, thinking 'reparo.' The shards of glass revolved in mid air for a moment before rising onto the table and forming the vase that they were once a part of. That didn't help entirely. The water from the vase had seeped through her socks and the flowers were lay forgotten by the skirting board.

'I've made such a mess.' Hallie sighed, pulling her socks off.

Not sure whether to tell Theodore about her pregnancy tests in the bathroom she squeezed her socks through before retreating to the kitchen to get some kitchen roll to soak up the water. Why she was keeping this from her was beyond her. Hallie was an open person, she let her thoughts fall right from her mouth, her eyes too, but today was different for today was the pregnancy test day.

Trying to avoid all contact with Theodore she left her socks on the floor and knelt down to soak up the water.

Theodore frowned a little bit when Hallie moved away from him and he turned on the spot, his eyebrows furrowing for a moment or two before he considered that he really might have scared her. Shaking his head, Theodore stepped back outside and picked up the bags. Once the door was closed he carefully trod around Hallie, letting his hand dropped briefly to pat her shoulder before slipping through the hallway into the kitchen. He set the bags down on the counter and took out the vegetables, putting what he could in the fridge before removing the boxes of pastries he’d bought in the bakery. Theodore took a moment to inspect the bills stuffed into the bags before tucking them into the back of his wallet. He then flicked on the kettle and took the cups down.

“How many sugars do you have again, babe?” He called over his shoulder, putting two into his cup.

While he waited for the kettle to boil, Theodore put the sugar pot and his spoon down and padded back out into the hallway. His hands lingered a while on his hips as he observed Hallie from behind, deciding that there was something off with her. Any other time, a warming spell would have done the carpet a trick and the water would have been evaporated away in a few seconds. However, doing it by hand roughly translated to an underlying problem as far as Theodore was concerned. His mother used to do it. She’d do the most menial of tasks, often left for House Elves, and complete them methodically. Hallie wasn’t as put off by doing such tasks as Theodore’s mother but, for him, it still seemed unusual and, well, strange, really.

“Babe,” Theo’s hands found Hallie’s shoulders as he leaned over her. “C’mon, just leave the carpet – I’ll sort it out. I got something to eat and I’m going to start dinner soon. Fancy giving me a hand?”

Hallie's attention to Theodore wasn't as strong as it usually was. Lately she'd been head over heels madly in love with him, she'd have left the carpet until later just to catch up with him but the idea that she could be pregnant was rather worrying. How would she tell her Mum? What about Toby, him and Theodore were getting on alright would that change things? Maura knew the possibility of course, which was helpful, but still being pregnant wasn't something to take lightly.

'I've just had some water I'm okay.' Hallie called over as she dabbed the carpet leaving the wet patch a little less wet. The only problem now was the fact that white specs were sprinkled throughout the carpet where the kitchen roll, too wet, had broke away from the main sheet. (OOC: if that makes sense?)

What would Hallie do if it turned out Theodore wasn't ready for children? Perhaps she should find out for definite first before telling him there is only a chance. Then what if she is pregnant? That'd surely scare him away, she could have an abortion but would it be really worth it, staying with a husband who didn't want the same things as she did? But then raising the child as a single mother would be tough, especially because of her career. Her career. Oh great. She'd never complete her auror training. This was exactly what Hallie didn't want, the exact thing that had been brought up in the very first meeting. Hallie's life was one big-

The warmth of Theodore's hand distracted her. Deciding to give up on the carpet Hallie, grasping hold of the table for support, pushed herself up from the ground. Her leg was working fine, in fact the blonde rarely noticed that she had a prosthesis but crouching was still a challenge at times.

'Thanks' Hallie said, as she held Theodore's hand too for extra support. 'I need to, umm, I have something to do.' Hallie added in an un-Hallie way as possible. No longer paying him any attention Hallie quickly paced towards the staircase and began to clumsily make her way up the staircase, unaware if Theodore was falling her or even talking to her.

Finally reaching the bathroom door Hallie's hand hovered over the handle. Now was the time to let the Gryffindor out, face up to the fears of what the result would be but instead tears began to form along her bottom lid. She couldn't be pregnant, her life would change completely, just when things were starting to go a bit smoothly.

“Do I have ‘moron’ written across my forehead or something?” Theodore shouted up the stairs after his wife.

Theodore shook his head and wandered back into the kitchen, muttering “bloody woman,” under his breath as he went. Moron, Theodore Rookwood was not but he decided he was going to leave her and make his cup of tea and put marmalade on his croissant and by Merlin if he didn’t enjoy both then he’d drink his tea and fling both the mug and the croissant at Hallie’s head. Whatever she was doing it was clearly more important than eating lunch with him so he was prepared to sit and stew bitterly over that instead of doing something productive like starting making the quiche for dinner – though he did get the potatoes out with a mind to start peeling them for the chips he was going to do. However, he couldn’t quite get the idea that Hallie was up to something out of his head.

Well, no, Theodore knew she was up to something.

Throwing down the peeler and a potato, Theodore took a swig of his tea for Dutch courage and thought twice, deciding to take it with him instead of abandoning it. Theodore sidestepped the water stain in the carpet and then jumped up the stairs, taking two at a time before making it up onto the landing. He deduced immediately – from the other open doors – that his lady wife was hiding out in the bathroom. Now unless she was having issues with the u-bend, unlikely, he couldn’t think of any other decent reason why Hallie would want to make camp in there. Theodore was at a loss, needless to say.

“Hal? Oi.” Theodore rapped his knuckles on the door. “Open up you nutty witch and talk to me. Love, come on. Did I miss a trick? Am I public enemy number one today because if you can just let me know at least I’ll understand where I’m stood on this firing line? Look, whilst I’m not beneath knocking down the door I might spill my tea …” Theodore took a sip as if to prove his point. “Open up, darlin’… nothing can be so bad that the bathroom is a place worth hiding.”

The sound of Theodore's voice rang through the door into her ears. She wasn't really listening, in all honesty she didn't actually know how to feel. Happy? Sad? Scared? Glad? All she knew was that him rabbiting on through the door wasn't helping her thought process any better.

'Stop talking!' Hallie cried, still staring down at the pregnancy test in her hand. Placing it back down she picked up the next, already she'd looked at two (which had given the same result), once again it was the same. Zoning out completely from any noise, whether Theodore was talking or not, Hallie looked over each pregnancy test before coming to the conclusion she had her final answer.

Now what. Flush them down the toilet? No they'd only clog the drain. Hide them in the bath until Theodore was gone. But then Theodore needed to know, well he didn't have to know, she could tell him at a later date. Why was she even hiding this from him? Perhaps it was the confusion on how she was mean't to feel.

Without thought Hallie unbolted the bathroom door and opened it, not looking at Theodore she sat herself on the edge of the bath staring at the line of pregnancy tests by the sink.

'Sorry I haven't said anything.'

Sorry I haven't said anything. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

(OOC: Theodore got emotional.)

Admittance did not soothe the concern and though the lock was unbound and Theodore was left with the ability to enter at his own will, he felt no less unwelcome. Nevertheless, it was his business to be concerned for Hallie was his wife and his plane upon which he set down his life. If she had flipped, he was up in the air and he wasn’t to know whether he was going to land on his feet or on his face. You can well imagine which he would prefer but, by the by, he was not one to linger on that, rather his preoccupation was with his wife once more – the woman with whom he felt he had and would have a lifelong interest in. But of course, that lifelong interest would be extended, wouldn’t it? To a lifelong interest in two. Two people, albeit one a little smaller.

“We test for three things, Mr Rookwood. The fertility of the parent, the likelihood of producing magical offspring and the chances of having a male. You luck out on two of three and are entirely pitiful in the first.”

A line of plastic all giving the same reading said otherwise.

Time had explained where his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had gone wrong, as though he needed the clarification. Absent-mindedly, Theodore rubbed along the side of his hand by his little finger where another should have, would have, been if it hadn’t been for his father’s brutality. He knew why, in blessed hindsight, why it had been there in the first place. Blood purity had been an obsession and Theodore was the one paying for it with infertility and physical deformity. Victim or not, Theodore had subscribed to it. Prior to the marriage law he would’ve gone on with it too and would’ve ran his wife into the ground in search of that longed for son. After the meeting, it had been the furthest thing from his mind. He’d contented himself, instead, with Athena’s sons during the mornings when she was working and Albus was busy. Having his own was an idea that had long been written off.

A line of plastic omitted that omission.

Theodore set his teacup down in the soap dish next to the tap and picked up one of them. Two blue lines. Another, a simple and sufficient ‘yes.’ Two blue lines. Two blue lines. Baby. Baby. Baby. Baby. He was going to be a father. Hallie a mother. They were going to have a family.

“Blimey,” he whispered, setting the test in his hand back down with the others.

As excitement bubbled within him, so too did anxiety. He didn’t want to do it the way his father had. Ineffectual, often cruel… a man who had bullied the woman he was supposed to love until there was nothing left of her – the pieces had been turned to dust and there was nothing left to pick up. A man who had married off his daughters without a care and put so much emphasis on a son who was no good to him, neglecting the other to become, well, Theodore. The said Theodore was under no illusions that his family would ever be as extensive as the one his father had constructed. Luck just wouldn’t draw it that way, he didn’t think. But, regardless, he didn’t want to be like Thaddeus Rookwood. Ever.

Theodore bit his lip and rubbed his hand over his face. Excitement bubbled away.

“It’s not that I’m not … I’m not unhappy,” Theodore’s hand came down, pausing mid-air as though to downplay his words. “I just… this is huge and I’m… shit, I’m terrified.”

Running his fingers through his hair Theodore turned and looked at Hallie, a smile moving onto his mouth, bright and suddenly quite optimistic. The carpet had been blown out from underneath him and Theodore had landed on his arse. Regardless, he couldn’t have been more delighted.  Terrified was right, of course. But it was just … he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He’d not had a normal childhood, obviously. Aside from getting body parts lopped off and verbal barrages thrown his way whenever deemed necessary, Theodore didn’t have a relationship with his father. His entire world had revolved around his mother as a child. How was he supposed to then be a father himself?

“We’re going to have a baby.” Theodore murmured, his hand moving down to cover his mouth, stifling a laugh of absolute disbelief.

Theodore dumped himself unceremoniously on the ground before Hallie, his hands grasping hers up once more.

“This is the best news. The best. This wasn’t something I ever thought I could have.” Theodore’s fingers rubbed across Hallie’s and he took a hesitant, sheepish yet smiling breath.

“I want to do things right then.” He began decisively.

“This is so very unromantic and I’m not prepared but it was in the back of my mind anyway. But, Hallie I…” he pressed his lips together briefly and took in a breath.

“Will you marry me? Again. Sort of … properly. I want us to have a better chance and do things properly and right because I really want for our child do have the best start and that’s why I want… I’d like … oh, no, sod it, I’m begging you – marry me, the poor bastard that I am, and put me out of my misery because I would be beside myself if I didn’t do right by you. I want a smaller but no less white shebang if you’ll have me and an actual honeymoon and I want for us to live together and if we’re to be a family then I want it just how I always wanted mine to be. I want it right.”

Theodore lifted his hand and curled a lock of bright blonde hair back behind Hallie’s ear, trailing his fingers across her jaw before settling them just underneath her chin, tickling absently at her skin.

“I don’t want you to ever think you can’t tell me something, especially if it’s important like this. I’m in your corner always. I love you, Hallie Caroline Cooper and I am going to do right by you this time. Nothing is going to prevent me from doing that. So, if you’ll have me, I want to start this second and I promise I’ll never, ever abandon you or our child."

(OOC: awwh I feel so horrible...)

Hallie watched as Theodore's reaction transformed from a state of befuddlement to excitement. He was so happy, so happy to start a family with her. For she was grateful he was becoming more the man she'd always dreamed of marrying but unlike Theodore Hallie had a career. She was training to become an auror, something for her entire life she'd wanted and now that could be taken away from her because why? They'd gotten too hasty?

It was unbearable to look this man in the eyes, this man who was a Father. Initially Theodore had never come across as the Fatherly type but the more Hallie had gotten to know him the more she realised he was Father material and now was his chance to prove to himself he could do it. His chance to prove to his Father that even though there was no love he could still become a Father, a better Father. He'd learned from his Father's mistakes and Hallie... Hallie wasn't ready for children.

'Theodore.' Hallie said softly, an expression of disbelief staring down into his happy warm eyes as he proposed. 'Theodore we're already married.' Perhaps she wasn't feeling it, before the leg, before the marriage law had they gotten to know each other then this would have been the perfect moment but she'd worn a white dress, a white veil and announced her 'love' in the Great Hall. She hadn't wanted a big wedding, the blonde had only do so to annoy Theodore, humiliate him a little before his school. Sure it had been fun at a first thought but walking down the isle without her Father was... Hallie couldn't do that again.

Pulling herself away from Theodore she moved from her seat on the bath and grasped the pregnancy tests. Pressing the pedal on the bin in the corner Hallie dropped all five positives into the trash, bent down then fastened a knot in the bin bag. Her mother couldn't find out about this, nor could Toby.

'Theodore.' Hallie sighed. 'I can't have a baby. I'm training to be an auror. If I'm pregnant I'll just be stuck inside doing paperwork for nine months. I'm not born to sit behind a desk, I need to get out there, do something exciting, feel an adrenaline rush. I... I can't have this baby.'

The final five words were spoken to the floor where a tear soon fell from Hallie's eyes. She was a monster. Hallie Cooper, the girl who knew how important family was, how important life was, was debating an abortion. How could she do that though? It went against everything she believed but in all honesty she wasn't ready.

A year ago Hallie would have been sat in potions, laughing with her friends and sneaking into Hogsmede for some firewhiskey. Now she was pregnant. She was stronger than before, leaving Hogwarts had turned her into a woman. A woman who'd been to hell and back and now, now God was challenging her once again.

Having a child wouldn't fix the multitude of problems that existed in that bathroom, or between them in the very world they inhabited. It was something that Theodore had craved in his later years. His passion for hedonism had waned and he found himself open to the idea of domesticity. But of course it was never going to be. Even without Elijah's insight, Theodore wanted to love the person he wanted to have children with. He wanted it at a good time and he was determined to do the right thing. He always imagined it would be alright: that she'd want the baby too. Not for a second had he considered Hallie wouldn't.

Theodore sat himself down on the bathroom mat, letting her words eat into his skin. The little patter of feet was a sound that immediately negated itself in his mind. His hands came to rest on his knees and he shook his head fiercely, trying to dispel all suggestion in his mind that the baby was anything other than a blessing. A burden it was; or so it appeared to Hallie. He often forgot that he was a man of the past and she the present. Much differed between their ideals. Much differed between them.

"You would get rid of our baby so you can-"

Theodore couldn't find it within himself to finish his sentence. The idea that she would substitute a life for a career was baffling to him. It was a concept that made his blood freeze in his veins but it brought him abruptly to his feet.

"I'm afraid I was under the impression that you were a different kind of person."

Theodore plucked his teacup up off of the sink and moved to breeze past Hallie, shame and embarrassment clogging up within him. That was why he didn't believe in grand gestures. Placating a government wasn't what he called marriage. He had wanted it better. A do over.

"You are going to do whatever you're going to do regardless of me." He began stiffly. "But I wouldn't expect to see me often if you intend on putting your career over another life. Excuse me if I take exception to that."

And with that he took back to the stairs and returned to the kitchen where he ascertained only a cigarette would do so he wrenched open the back door, deposited himself there a and lit up.