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This daydream is dangerous

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Post by Hallie Cooper Wed Mar 19, 2014 11:32 pm

Tears soon began to flow at a steady rate from her now reddened eyes. A lump had bubbled in her throat and the ability to fight back a sniffle was growing more difficult by the minute. How could Theodore think she was such a monster? But it was monstrous, to even think about what was running through her mine.

'Theodore.' She sighed, reaching out for his arm as he passed but it was too late he'd gone, left her alone with a bin bag of positive pregnancy tests. 

She'd give him a moment to compose himself, process what was happening. Her back against the wall Hallie sunk down to the floor. She hadn't expected a proposal, she hadn't expected Theodore to be so optimistic about the pregnancy. It was evident right there they were two completely different people, two completely different people that had come from different backgrounds. For Hallie she'd learnt that a career was needed, money was needed to raise a child. She wanted to provide for her child the way her parents had for her. They worked, conceived a year older than her or so. If Hallie was already an Auror and hadn't lost a leg she wouldn't be even thinking this.

'Theodore.' Hallie emerged into the kitchen, the big bag dumped onto the kitchen table. 'I love you, I want your children but I can't have a baby. I'm not ready! I've not even completed my training, I don't have the time to raise a child.' 

Hopefully he would understand, Hallie guessed not but she could try with tears once again brewing in her eyes. 
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Post by Theodore Rookwood Sat Mar 22, 2014 8:54 pm

“Hallie go away,” Theodore sighed, exhaling a breath of smoke. He flicked away some of the ash gathering at the end of the cigarette and looked off into the distance, beyond the garden, with little care of indulging in taking sight of her.

It surprised him how rapidly the tone of the afternoon could change. There was so much of him that desired the child that her womb was promising. The very concept was one so rare and so beautifully whimsical that he couldn’t believe it was real. It wasn’t lost on him, either, that if Hallie had her way then it wouldn’t be at all. But what irked him was that he wasn’t being consulted. His part in the child’s life was airbrushed out, as though his role began and ended with the conception. Part of him ruefully wished he had abandoned all hope of having a marriage with Hallie in the first place and gotten a mistress to amuse himself with. Perhaps he could’ve fallen in love with her, instead. Perhaps she would have wanted his child.

“Do whatever you need to do,” Theodore muttered, bringing the cigarette back to his lips.

Flicking the cigarette into the plant pot swimming with spent buts and rainwater as well as what could technically be considered the corpse of a hyacinth. Lifting himself up off of the doorstep, Theodore brushed past Hallie again. He picked up the croissant that he’d put out for himself. Breaking it apart, he began to nibble on one of the pieces, setting down the other on the counter. It was then that he realised that Hallie was still there and he quirked an eyebrow at her.

“Look, go now if you want. I’m sure Sophia will get rid of your little problem like it’s a winter bug and you can go off and finish your Auror training. Never mind. Let’s not think about it. I’ve got somewhere to be, actually. Not even sure why I’m here, honestly.”
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Post by Hallie Cooper Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:09 am

Hallie watched as Theodore finished his cigarette and made his way the other side of the counter, taking part of his croissant as he did so. 

Sophia couldn't solve their problem, sure she could perform an abortion but that wouldn't solve the problem. If anything it would double the problem. Right now the problem was merely an issue, a choice, a joint decision. Going ahead with an abortion without talking about it to Theodore wasn't the answer, it's what Hallie would have done had he been a stranger but he was her husband.

Being the bold Gryffindor that she is Hallie merely stood there in the kitchen, rooted to the tiled floor. She wasn't fleeing because Theodore was angry she was staying, staying until they could come to some sort of agreement but would there be an agreement? They wanted opposite things and having a child isn't something you give a little on. 

'I want to talk about this.' Hallie told him, wiping away her tears that had stained her cheeks black with wounded mascara. 'I need you to understand. We're not ready for a child, how am I supposed to raise a child without a leg?' Hallie cried, her emotions running away with her as the final words were louder and accompanied with a slam of her fist.

Turning her back on Theodore Hallie ran a hand through her hair sighing as fresh tears brewed in her eyes. 

'I c-can't do this I won't be able to do this I'm, I'm-' But what Hallie was she didn't quiet know. Broken? Damaged? Either word would have worked well. 
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Post by Theodore Rookwood Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:53 pm

The House of Rookwood was historically a house that had been blessed with sons. However, decades of poor marital choices had wasted them and their seat in the Irish countryside was largely devoid of the coveted males. The acquisition of sons was seen as an exhibition of masculinity and power. It was a game which the sons of Raghnall Rookwood launched into eagerly. Ironically, it was Cedric and Eamon who succeeded the most, bearing five between themselves, but it was Thaddeus to whom Raghnall’s cairngorm eye turned. Both Thaddeus and Raghnall’s illegitimate but acknowledged son, Augustus, rose to the occasion – or at least intended to – and married early with the intention of fulfilling the mutual desire of the Rookwood boys: to provide the family with sons of their own. However, it was a fixation that ruined countless lives as failure was not a private matter – rather, it was one that they each revelled in and, in part, helped ensure.

For Augustus and Thaddeus, nearly twenty elapsed between the first and last pregnancies of their wives. Augustus had one son to show for it, his eldest, Kendall, but it was Thaddeus’s decades which seemed to inspire the most pathos. Desdemona would not prove to be as forthcoming with children as Cordelia was. For every pregnancy, Cordelia seemed to provide a child, albeit most of them being girls, but Desdemona could not carry to term or, in many cases, carry at all and hundreds of miscarriages seemed to drift by until, when she finally carried a child to term, she provided her husband with a daughter: Catherine. For the next three years, more miscarriages followed and then again, she carried to term. This time, it was another daughter but this was not a failure Thaddeus would contentedly condone, one he eliminated. A certificate of death was hastily tucked into a compartment in Desdemona’s desk and whilst the girl was mourned she was forgotten, replaced by another string of mistakes and failures.

Lionel was born, finally, and it soothed Thaddeus’s fears. Following Lionel, Desdemona had another son who, perhaps in a form of warped karmic retribution, did not live beyond the first chills of winter. Two girls followed: Irina and Adriana. They were given the allowance of life, good fortune or the presence of a new, fertile mistress giving Thaddeus leave not to worry after two largely useless females. Thereafter, hope was largely abandoned and Thaddeus took up permanently with his mistress. He finally got his wish, though, when Theodore was born: his spare. No questions were asked after Theodore’s paternity where perhaps some should have – it was merely accepted and thanks were given to whichever higher power had blessed them. However, even at the time there was the suggestion that if there had been one more girl then she would have gone the same way as her elder sister. Desdemona’s last pregnancy ended on a high, albeit with a slightly disfigured son – so in that case, surely a Rookwood.

Theodore could remember the day he found out about his sister. He found the death certificate tucked in amongst papers in one of the drawers in his mother’s desk. He knew better than to be looking but the mischievous little boy didn’t think to care. However, once the roll of parchment was in his hands, his small eyes perceiving the delicate script, his mother happened upon him. It was not a discussion that Desdemona wanted to have with her youngest child but Theodore’s prying question forced her to divulge what exactly had happened. It was an event which sealed his opinion of his father, his own experience of the man’s brutality etched forever into his own skin. The idea that Thaddeus would do that, though, chilled Theodore to the soul and in an effort to deviate from his father’s presence, he joined his mother whenever he could, wherever she went, becoming her near constant companion until he went to school.

Theodore felt like his mother. Just like her, he had no control. Only, it was not a male’s will being thrust upon him but the misguided will of his own wife to whom he did not feel he answered. Part of him persisted that she answered to him. His will was one she should dance to. But of course, that did not come with marrying a Gryffindor Half-Blood. No, had it been anyone else then perhaps. Perhaps he could have. Perhaps they wouldn’t have even been having the very conversation he found himself part of. But he had taken the moral high ground, or so he believed, and whilst he could do nothing, he wouldn’t forgive her if she acted in the way she intended.

“Fine!” Theodore spat, his own anger rising. “We’ll bloody talk, shall we? How come the only time I’m included in this decision is so you can declare I’m ‘not ready?’ You can’t raise a child! You can’t do it! Sod off, Hallie. You’re off your rocker if you think I’m just going to leave everything to you. Who the hell do you think I am? I can raise a child. I can do it. But of course, it’s all on you isn’t it? You know, it’s not difficult. You should have done as I said and gotten it regrown but instead you decided to put up with that farcical prosthetic so you can hide! Oh, I’m sorry… I can’t do this because I don’t have a fucking leg! It’s not difficult! Put up with a few weeks of skele-grow and you’ll get to repaint your toenails by the end of the month! But no, you’d rather use it to hide! I’m not victimising you! I’m not Henry! I’m your bloody husband and I am sorry if I’d like to have a child. Never mind how I feel about it, though. Never mind! This might be the only chance I get to have a family but, you know, your god damn career is more important and, of course, being an advocate for all of the things you can’t do with only one leg. There! We’ve talked! Happy?!”

(OOC: Not sure what the background at the start was all in aid of. Ah well, Rookwood history lesson!)
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Post by Hallie Cooper Sun Mar 23, 2014 2:44 pm

(ooc: WOW! Loved your reply!- And the history lesson Wink )

For the first time in her life Hallie was scared of her husband. They'd argued before, they'd disagreed but each time Hallie had stood her ground. She wasn't one to back down, even when she should do, she wasn't one to hide away but since Henry had attacked her that's exactly what she had done. She'd hid. Sure she had got back to work, bought a new wand and attended a meeting about what to do with the halfbreeds but apart from that she'd hid. Afraid people would look down on her, afraid they would treat her like an invalid. It was was insecurity that was eating away the person she used to be. A part of her felt like she couldn't live how she had once lived and now she was scared people would agree and only validate her thoughts.

Theodore wanted a child. He said he could do this but even if he could do this Hallie couldn't. It wouldn't just be Theodore's child it would be hers too and being the Mother Hallie would want to spend time and do things with the child but it all came back to the leg. The god forsaken leg.

She could have had it regrown but the process was grueling, excruciating. Sure skel-gro would regrow the bones but she now had a stump, a stump that would prevent the bones regrowing unless the wound was reversed. Her blood vessels would need to be regrown, her fibrious tissue, her muscles, the intracecy of her neural network. It would be painful but in the long term beneficial. Hallie didn't like the sound of the recovery period, she had been too determined to get back to work. As usual she'd gone with her heart over her head.

'You can't blame me for this.' Hallie replied, a little shaky out of nerves but there was still a shimmer of bravery left within her. 'You were the one who decided to cut off my leg. You were the one disabled me and now I'm finally back at work, finally starting to feel my old self again and now you're asking me to have a child? How am I mean't to have a child when I've not even recovered myself?'

She didn't didn't shout, she didn't bang her fist she simply looked Theodore in the eyes and spoke softly in an attempt to diffuse the situation - possibly for the first time in her life. Four months ago Hallie would have entered a screaming match with Theodore but now she was tip-toeing around eggshells rather than stomping all over them.
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Post by Theodore Rookwood Sun Mar 23, 2014 3:46 pm

There must have been a language barrier between himself and his wife. A dozen language barriers must have separated them because he could not get through to her. What he still couldn’t believe is the fact that she still refused to concede that he had saved her life. He’d done her a favour. For one horrific moment, he wished he hadn’t bothered. He honestly looked at her and wished for a moment that he hadn’t saved her. He wouldn’t be having the very conversation he found himself a part of. But, at the same time, he was horrified. He couldn’t believe he was in this scenario. Neither could he believe he was thinking what had crossed his mind. What was worse was that he chose to voice it, too.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered,” he growled venomously. “Right now, I wish I hadn’t. I should’ve let you die!”

There. He said it. Theodore could feel his chest heaving vigorously, ridiculously, uncontrollably. He closed his eyes, wishing he could’ve taken back his words. He brought a hand to his forehead and he sighed. He wished he didn’t have to do this. He wished that they didn’t have to fight. It seemed as though neither of them was capable of being kind to the other. A few weeks of happier times had been replaced in a moment with an awful, familiar reality. He was his father, after all, if he could wish that.

Theodore picked up his cigarettes and shoved them in his back pocket. He was leaving. That was it. He’d spend a night on Athena’s couch. He could already see it and knew in his mind’s eye where the blankets and the spare pillows were, in a coat closet under the stairs. He could imagine, already, waking up with Archie sat on his chest and Augustus stood up on the carpet next to the couch. Theodore made it as far as the hallway when he paused, rethinking his actions. But of course, he’d made his bed. Now he had to lay in it. So, Theodore grabbed his jacket, opened the front door and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
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Post by Hallie Cooper Sun Mar 23, 2014 6:18 pm

That was the final straw. Nobody should wish someone dead, not somebody you should love and accept for who they are. But wasn't that what Hallie was doing? She wanted an abortion, she wanted someone dead. But then the line was where did life begin? Hallie's child wasn't a child it was a foetus that couldn't live outside of her body. Hallie wasn't killing life she was preventing life. 

Leave.. Hallie wanted to scream but she didn't need to. Already Theodore had stormed out of the house, where he was going Hallie didn't know nor did she care. Right now all Hallie knew was that she didn't care about Theodore Rookwood in the slightest. He wasn't her husband, he didn't know her, he didn't understand her. He wasn't a Cooper and she wasn't a Rookwood.

The marriage had been through a lot, it had lost her a leg, lost her a chance of love and now she realised for the first time she'd lost herself. They had married in the October and in six short months their marriage had dissolved twice, only this time Hallie didn't think it would return to the happy medium it had been. It was over. 

Watching Theodore leave Hallie slammed the kitchen door and felt her back slide down it to the floor. Her tears began to flood and her lungs gasped for air. All she needed to do know was have an abortion and regrow her leg, after that she was free.

Then, as the clouds moved across the sun, the kitchen went dark. The sudden realisation that her life would return to normal evaporated. Was the ministry allowing abortions to continue? The purpose of the law was to pro-create, the complete opposite of the law, would they grant her an abortion? Or would she have to have this baby? A baby for which she'd suddenly cut the Father out of it's life? 
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