Trisha Ivanov’s breakfast was officially ruined. Actually, that might have been an overstatement. She wasn’t quite sure yet, because she was the only one who had seen the news. Or if she wasn’t the only one who knew, she had a feeling that Caspian had yet to read the paper that currently was being wrinkled between her shaking fingers. Maybe if she burned it he wouldn’t have to. Out of the corner of her eye, Tris glanced through her curls to boy (well, he was more of a man, now, wasn’t he?) sitting next to her.
In the past several months, she had started to understand him better than she even understood herself. Regardless of any self doubt or confusion on her part, Caspian had kept her head on properly and somehow managed to help her stay grounded. Aside from his standing up for her when she needed it most, he had agreed to go to the alternate school that Professor Hayes had created for those who weren’t allowed at Hogwarts or no longer wanted to be there. Tris was definitely not interested in spending two more years at the school, so his place was far more preferable. It was strange, she mused, to be in a different year than the kids her ages – aside from Daemon, perhaps, but she hadn’t seen him since she left Hogwarts. She hadn’t seen a lot of people since she had left.
Swallowing hard, Tris set down the paper, face up and slid it in his direction. Offering a weak attempt at a teasing smile, she pointed to the headline and asked, “So I guess I should be packing my bags, then, hmm?”
The law had been repealed. There was no reason for her to stay with him anymore if he didn’t want her. Sometimes, she was so sure that they would work out. That they – somehow – would have ended up together anyway. But at the same time, it was her. Things didn’t work out for her as a general rule. Biting her lip, Trisha glanced from Caspian to the paper and back again. If he said yes, she had a feeling her stomach would just fall out. She wasn’t one to cry, but the moment she left the room the tears would fall as well.
That was it, then. She adored him.
She wasn't sure if it was love, exactly. But then, she'd never experienced the idea of a "first love," so how was she to know for sure? The way her heart was aching at the idea of losing him made her think that, maybe, this might be it. It had only been a few months, but without him she would have been lost the entire time, just as she had been before they met. Before they were matched and his parents arranged that awful wedding mess. If she were being honest, her interest in him - as anything more than someone she was riding out the law with - started when he had first kissed her. In that moment, as she was so lost in her thoughts, Caspian had decided that he wouldn’t let her keep on mentally attacking herself, and effectively distracted her. She could remember it vividly – being reluctant to pull away, his almost attempt at continuing it regardless of her pulling away. The memory raced into her mind, unbidden, and her cheeks lit up with embarrassment.
This was up to him, her husband. It would feel strange to no longer call herself his, to not be allowed to run to him for help, just to lounge around with him at the end of a long day of classes, or preparing for exams so she would be able to take NEWTs with him when the time came. The sooner those ended, the better. The sooner he answered, just the same. She just wanted to know what he wanted so she could go on with it and keep from wasting his time if he no longer (or hadn’t ever) truly wanted her there.