I don't know, you guys.

So for about a week or two now, getting on PA has almost felt like a chore or a responsibility, and it's really throwing me off. I love writing, especially on here with you all. So I'm not sure why it's coming to this.

It kind of has something to do with the things that are happening in RL, the stuff I've kept quiet about, but even that doesn't make me understand the struggle that is posting for all but two of my characters. It's not even that they have plots and it makes me want to post as them. Honestly, I think it's because they're having the worst times right now and it's really easy to write their feelings out because I'm feeling almost the same thing or the same way.

I'm not saying I'm leaving, exactly, but I just don't know what to do about this. So I'll probably only post as Ana for a few days, since I know everyone is so upset about me taking ages on the Marriage Plot... In theory everything should work out for the plot, but I'm still waiting on some messages so I can finish the list and get all of the meetings going.

I can't promise anything right now, and I'm not even sure I'll get on Skype. But just PM me on Avery, Mairen, or Ana's accounts if you need anything. I'll try to get it done as soon as I can..

*cuddles*

It's otay, we understand :3 RL and other things always get in the way and so do feelings ._.

If you want to talk I hope you know I'm always here to listen.

We all have times like this and I completely understand. No one will be upset if you take some time with the marriage plot - other posting will probably be slightly more enjoyable?

Our characters reflect us and if there's something wrong then it's probably good to post with then ones you're understanding.

Do whatever you need, but know I'm here. Love you, darling.

Take a break. Relax. Do whatever you want to do.

Then realise that you're absolutely dying without us and PA, and rush right back in xD

Or alternatively, move on, and know that you'll always be an awesome writer

I know how it feels. Felt the same way when I moved on from my first site. I had invested hours of sweat and toil on that one. Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I don't. But writing is a nasty addiction. Sometimes an idea takes hold, and those RP mates are just so handy to unload ideas on Regardless, do whatever makes you happy.

P.S. And I have posted my fair share of angst on this site. Writing when you're feeling crap is pretty much the only way for dealing with the feeling for me

I wish that I could make it all better darling, and I hope that things work themselves out.

While it is impossible for anyone to fully understand how you are feeling right now, I speak for all of us in that we certainly won't be holding anything against you.

I'm here if you need to talk, lovely.

*kissies all around*

I'm just dealing with some issues I have in real life rolling over into PA and having to deal with them here as well just isn't a good time.

I'm looking to get up more meetings tonight as well as stuff for Keiran's plot (those involved have been PM'd again since the stupid link didn't work). Maybe an Avery or Mairen post if need be. But other folks just don't want to work with me, and the Marriage Plot is the most important right now since I've kept everyone waiting so long *glances about guiltily*.

Addie,

You certainly don't need to double your stress by revisiting rl issues when you come to PA. In my own humble opinion, we come to PA, most of us, because we want to get away from RL crap for awhile and have a little fun. When PA models RL too much then PA is no longer fun. Not only that, it certainly can feel like it doubles the damage in RL, at least temporarily.

That being said, please do what's best for you. You are loved here, and we'd all much rather have you still rp'ing and enjoying it than feeling dragged down.

As for the marriage law, feel free to bounce that to the admins, if you'd like, even if you decide that you need to do that just for the time being. Plot elements can be just plain hard work, and I honestly would prefer you get back to having fun--whatever that is for you.

You're doing a lovely job with the marriage law, really, but its fine to take a break from it if you choose. You know as well as I do that PA folks are an understanding bunch, and they're going to join me in saying we'd rather have you.

Let me know what you need!

I think I'm going to give it until the end of the week - see how things are going on Saturday. If I just can't deal with it I'll back off entirely. For now, I'm going to try and balance it with a post for myself and a post for the plot so that it doesn't feel like all I do is write as Ana for hours. I have the time as much as I have the ability. It's just convincing myself to get it done.

As for next week, I have stuff due Monday and Tuesday so I'm not sure how much time I'll have for posts, but in theory it should all work out.

I'm never any good at saying it, but I really do appreciate everyone both checking on me and being so nice about everything. I don't often get compliments or things like that, and it's rare that I ask anyone to/let anyone comfort me. *cuddles everyone* Plus, I'm just awkward.  

We love you to bits <3

You lot give me feels.

Like dis.



:'D

*cuddles*