Hermes,
Welcome to PA! Glad to have you on board. I've read your app, and I have a few concerns.
First, I'd like to see Hermes be a bit more rounded, and overall, I'd like to see him have some good traits. I really need to have his violence toned down. This is a PG 13 site, and his violence is too extreme.
He also needs to have a few more flaws. He seems to have some things that he can't do very well at all, and the things he does well are things that he almost seems to be a protégé at. We don't generally allow people to create a protégé on here because of how limited that makes not just the character but how limited it causes other characters to be in relation to that. Please take another look at that.
It seems to me to be a stretch to have someone at 23 be so bloodthirsty, even given his history. I also have a tough time with the fact that he is so poor at DADA but is so strong at being able to kill others, and with so little conscience about it.
It is not very likely that someone that dark minded would be able to successfully cast a patronus at all, since a patronus is made of happiness and "light energies." It is considered to be advanced magic that is rather limited to "good" wizards.
It is also not very likely that a third year would be capable of casting a cruciatus, especially for one who did poorly in DADA. A cruciatus is difficult to cast, and would not be within the reach of a third year's abilities.
I question the abilities of a 5th year to steal a whole suit of armor too. Highly unlikely that even a master thief would be that well developed at that age that they would be able to handle a theft that big.
Also, just a small thing, but in England, medicine (especially wizarding medicine) is socialized, so there would be no hospital bills to speak of for him or his family to be responsible for. Not to that extent, anyway.
Can you please revisit some of these things? Thanks!
K