"What opinion do you possess of the newly passed Marriage Law?" The Hufflepuff fifth-year with the overly large head nodded earnestly at her.
"Hmmm." She said, all stirringly eloquent.
No....not large. Long-ish, more like. Almost oblong. Like a mango.
"No reaaalllly." He enunciated back, almost as if drawn-out syllables would penetrate better into her head. "Do you not think it is a sham to the name of a legislation? An infraction upon our civil rights?"
Wow. Any more archaic and he'd burst out into Shakespeare. There always was a pompous Hufflepuff in every year. People called it the 'Smith effect.'
Oblong. Mangoes. All yellow and succulent and juicy and mhrrrmmmmm........
"Hello?" The Hufflepuff snapped a finger before her eyes. He was starting to look slightly put-out now, brows drawn tight together. Like an inflated, chubby, oblong-headed monk of Ivanhoe-like times, a Prior Aymer with a wobbly lip and an annoyed scowl that seemed more hilarious than intimidating. "I am trying to discuss something rather important with you, you know."
"Do I really?" Escaped from her lips before it could be properly censured. Alisha shot the boy a sympathetic smile, and then clapped him on the back. "You see.....marriage is like.....a well. A deep, big, bottomless well. Now, the more gormless of those among us, like to jump into the well willingly. For the more sensible ones, there is the Ministry. So we are all condemned to mass suicide, really. Got it?"
The boy blinked, bewildered, back at her. Alisha took pity on him. She patted him once more on the back, comfortingly. "It's alright. You'll get better."
Even as she turned, then took off for the couch closest to the fire, she could hear the fifth-year mouth witlessly, "Wha-?"
Crashing into the couch was easy. Wrestling one of the chocolates from its occupant, was not. But Alisha was at a height and position advantage, so three minutes later found her prostate over the same couch, legs flung over the nearest table, licking off orange-flavoured chocolate from her fingertips. "You should know better than to hide chocolate from me, Pirate. I know everything. And all the little nooks and crannies and cubby-holes you have, so don't bother there either." A final lick. "How was the trip? Brought anything for me?"