Replacing Fury with Fudge
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Replacing Fury with Fudge

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Post by Rivah Trenton Sun Nov 17, 2013 10:06 pm

Rivah was having One of Those Days. To any other Ministry worker, such a statement would hold a far less negative connotation. To the average Ministry worker, a bad day might mean lots of paperwork, running late, realizing that they had scheduled two conflicting meetings, or perhaps getting screamed at by their boss. To Rivah Trenton, such a day meant pure and utter chaos.

Her day had even started badly. She'd run out of muesli for her yogurt in the morning, and ripped her favorite work outfit far beyond what any reparo could fix. She'd gotten to the Ministry, only to find that the staff room had run out of her favorite tea. The witch had been forced to consume Earl Grey in place of her usual raspberry brew. Finally walking through the door to her Department, Rivah was met with a sight that could have come straight out of one of her nightmares.

Desks were flipped over or tipped onto their sides. There was crumpled paperwork everywhere, and inkwells were leaking black all over the floors. Chairs were laying in splinters, and her employees were running around like headless chickens. It had only taken her a second to figure out the cause behind the mess. There were creatures loose.

It wasn't until two hours later, when everything was mostly cleaned up, that she was able to talk to all her staff and piece together the story of how it had happened. Early that morning, a stupid intern had thought that it would be fun to snatch a glimpse of a Griffin. So, they'd gone down to where the creatures were contained, and opened the Griffin enclosure. The intern had been knocked out, and the Griffin let loose. Upon realizing this, the two employees whom were good with the Griffin immediately abandoned what they were doing and went after it. In doing so, one of them left the door to the streeler enclosure open. The two large snails left their designated home, secreting toxic matter-dissolving goo in their wake. But that was hardly the end of it.

The matter-dissolving secretion then unfortunately melted a hole large enough for their nogtail to escape its home. Once it was noticed that the dangerous pig-like creature had escaped, the albino bloodhounds specially trained to chase the animal where set after it. With all the other creatures around to distract them, the dogs hadn't been much help. Somehow, in all the other chaos that was happening, multiple pogrebins had gotten out. The pogrebins started stalking multiple staff members, causing them to feel the utter despair that the creatures naturally caused. By the time Rivah had gotten there, half of her employees were close to tears.

Creatures finally put away, injured staff healed, and a certain intern cowering before her rage, Rivah was done. She loved her work, and adored her Department beyond all else, but she needed some fresh air. Badly.

Deciding that she bloody well deserved some fudge after all that she'd gone through that morning, Rivah flooed to Hogsmeade. Honeydukes had the best fudge she'd ever tasted, and if she was going to consume the calories, she might as well make them worth it. Dramatically throwing the door open, the witch's face transformed into a smile. The sweet sent that lingered in the store made it practically impossible for her to frown. Hurrying over to the fudge case, heels tapping as she went, Rivah bend over slightly to examine her options.


Last edited by Rivah Trenton on Sun Nov 24, 2013 6:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by James S Potter Sun Nov 24, 2013 2:43 pm

(OOC: I'm sorry, it's a bit naff. I'm out of practice with this writing guff.)

After Halloween and Bonfire Night was over and done with, the Muggle world seemed to fall back on the only public holiday left available for the year: Christmas. As a result, from late October onwards, the shops and establishments around Britain were filled with the paraphernalia associated with the Christian holiday from quirky baubles to tacky jumpers which everyone held a secret affection for. As grating as it was in the realm of the Muggles, the habit seemed to have filtered through into Wizarding culture and so as Cael Ivanov prepared for the penultimate Hogsmeade jaunt of the year, he found himself walking amongst students dressed in gear typical of the season. It was almost, almost impossible to keep a smile off of his face.

As per usual, Cael was in charge of making sure the forth years didn’t end up hurting themselves or each other and he followed down on foot behind the coaches with some of the detainees from a Potions lesson who were still allowed, by some stroke of luck, to go to Hogsmeade. If it hadn’t been for the necessity of Christmas shopping then he doubted very highly that the Headmaster would’ve let them go. Still, Cael felt that marriage was having quite a good effect on the brooding Rookwood man. Certainly, it suited him. Cael doubted, however, that he’d be quite as contented by it. He was happier as a lone wolf - or so he thought.

In just over half an hour, Cael and his comrades made it into the village and an agreement was made to meet him back there at five and, hopefully, they’d make it back up to the castle in time for dinner. Cael wasn’t holding out too much hope, though, and his intention was to dine in Hogsmeade before taking the errant students up to the kitchens. If they were any slower than they were going into the village then dinner was desperately out of the question for them with the other students. No, it would have to be whatever leftovers the elves had.

Once he’d extracted himself from the other students, Cael trundled along to Honeydukes, his teeth hankering for something sweet to sate a craving. However, what he hadn’t imagined was running into a friend. Regardless, though, he found Rivah loitering by the fudge display and he couldn’t stop himself from creeping up behind her.

“Treating yourself?” He asked, blowing warm air over her ear with a grin as he peered over her shoulder. “Looks yummy.”
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Post by Rivah Trenton Sun Nov 24, 2013 7:14 pm

((OOC: You lie, your post was brilliant. I'm already starting to ship them, I swear Amy. Thoughts?))

Rivah jolted forwards into the glass in shock, letting out a tiny scream as she did so. Heart racing, the witch spun around, left hand clutched over her heart. Taking a deep inhale in an attempt to steady her rapid breathing, the woman narrowed her eyes at the man before her. Pursing her lips, the witch eyed her friend up and down before weakly slapping at his shoulder.

Lips finally curling into a smile, she pulled her friend into a hug. It had been months since she'd seen him, far too long. Finally releasing him, Rivah took a step back and leant against the glass with one arm. It was sure to be charmed, so it wasn't like she would be doing any damage. Lips still twisted into a happy smile, the blonde crossed her arms and let out an over-exaggerated huff.

"I should've known it was you," Rivah admitted, her tone giving away that she was only a moment away from laughing. "Can't a woman even purchase some candy anymore without being scared half out of her wits? I can't afford to loose those you know, I need them," the witch joked, the stress of her day draining out of her with every moment she spend in her friend's company.

Rivah had always been an odd duck when it came to her contact with others. She was most certainly an introvert at heart, but she'd had to force herself to get over than upon becoming a Department Head for the Ministry. She'd become very good at running things and giving orders, but still went home every night to cuddle up with a book by the fire. She was always the most comfortable then.

While she had gotten much better with people, her first few years of Hogwarts having been particularly pathetic, she still rarely felt like she needed human contact. Rivah was smart, and she'd done her fair share of research involving psychology. The witch knew that it wasn't normal to be like she was, to not crave or wish for human contact like so many others did. But right now? Right now being in Cael's precence just felt nice. She'd missed him.
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Post by James S Potter Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:42 pm

For Cael, meeting Rivah had been like a blur that was as disorientating as it was exhilarating and it was never going to be something he’d forget. It was as accidental as anything in life and they’d both been young(er) and they’d clicked - friends from the start. Touring countries afflicted by war and work had gotten in the way but, by a stroke of luck or fate or a weird mixture of the two, Honeydukes had brought them together again. It’d been months - near enough a year for him to have to study her with a quick flirt of his gaze over her skin to ascertain what had changed about her. But Rivah was immortal in Cael’s eyes. To him, she’d not changed a day.

Cael embraced the littler woman tightly, wondering not for the first time where she got her vertically challenged disposition from. Or, perhaps it wasn’t that at all - perhaps he was the tall one and she, well, completely normal. Now that -- that sounded about right and Cael couldn’t help but chuckle as he released her, an easy, mischievous smirk lighting the sides of his lips as he looked around, feigning complete innocence.

“You should’ve,” he teased, inclining his head to the side, regarding her with playful eyes. “But a lady should not be buying her own fudge - scared out of her wits or not.” He grinned and looked at the display again. “What ones do you want?” He peered at one of the labels, his eyes squinting in at their creases before widening. “Peppermint?”

Cael made a face, his lips contorting down into an expression of disgust before alighting back into a smile as he turned his gaze back to Rivah.

“How’ve you been, darlin’?” He asked, ruffling his fingers across the top of her head affectionately, not forgetting to smooth it down quickly afterwards. “Busy, I’m guessing?”

Cael himself could only boast a small modicum of busyness. As it was, the students of Hogwarts did not prove to be too much trouble. The most he’d had to contend with was the Full Moon run which he’d been ensured by his predecessor would be a nightmare within a nightmare. As it was, Cael felt he’d dealt well enough - certainly, he’d not expected the Hufflepuff Werewolves to run riot quite as they had done but they survived which was always a plus. He was sure Rivah would have some stories of her own, too.

“Why don’t we get some lunch?” He offered. “I was going to anyway but now there’s an even better reason to.” He smiled. “If the Ministry doesn’t need you, that is?”
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Post by Rivah Trenton Sun Nov 24, 2013 10:57 pm

Rivah scrunched her nose at Cael's teasing, and was oddly tempted to stick out her tongue at him. Turning to face the glass cases, the witch frowned slight to herself. Where the hell had that come from? She wasn't an adolescent. Merlin, she probably hadn't actually stuck her tongue out at someone since before her Hogwarts years. What was it about the man that always made her want to act like something she wasn't? Or at least, something she usually wasn't.

Rivah hummed slightly to herself as she lent over the glass case. There were so many flavors to choose from, it was rather ridiculous. It was almost like the sweet shop was trying to make deciding between all of their different confections as difficult as they possibly could. Then again, the owner had been Scorpius Malfoy for a few years now, and the witch wouldn't put it past the man. Still driving people to the end of their tolerance, just via candy instead of sarcastic words. Letting out something between and exhale and a snort, Rivah threw the thought from her mind. She was being ridiculous.

"I'd like..." the woman said slowly, drawing out the words as long as she could, attempting to give herself another few moments to decide. "A square of original, a square of triple chocolate, and," Rivah paused for a moment. Peaking up at Cael's face, the witch couldn't help but smile as she said, "a peppermint one." It was a three squares of fudge kind of day, and she'd always told herself that she'd try the peppermint one day. After her friend's reaction to it, she couldn't not get some.

Rivah tried not to think. Tried not to think about the way that Cael had ruffled her hair, but smoothed it down afterwards, having remembered she didn't like it when her hair was a mess. She tried not to think about how she'd leant back slightly into that hand, her body reacting automatically, as she certainly hadn't asked it to do that. She also tried quite hard not to inhale too deeply, because Cael smelled far too good. His sent still lingered slightly upon her clothing from the hug they'd just shared. She tried not to think about how the muscles of his arms felt while wrapped around her. Or how his facial features had grown more attractive since the last time they'd met. She was trying not to think about any of that. It wasn't working.

"Busy," Rivah replied with a solemn nod, tilting her head backwards to look up at her friend, "so busy. But I'd love to lunch, my Department can survive without me for a few hours."

A thought hitting her like a sledgehammer, the witch quickly turned her head towards Cael. She hadn't seen him in almost a year, and she'd only gotten her promotion in April. Therefore, unless he'd caught the article in the Daily Prophet, Cael wouldn't be aware of her new job. Eyes lighting up, Rivah practically beamed at the wizard before saying, "I'm Department Head now, did you know?"

Rivah had always been somewhat of the darling of the Ministry Department she now ran. She'd joined straight out of Hogwarts, and had slipped easily into the role of spirit specialist. She'd been the youngest one there, and was treated like the little sister of all the other workers. After about a year, two of their best beast specialists retired at the same time. Completely understaffed, the beast division was at a loss, before it was discovered that Rivah had somewhat of a talent for that division as well. She wasn't as good as she was with spirits, but she was adequate. Almost eleven months later, the beast division was finally staffed well enough for the twenty year old Rivah to return to her preferred job. Within three years, she became the best spirit specialist they had. The last two years had been messy. The Department had passed hands three times, two of the Heads being far too lax with their responsibilities. During this time, the blonde had done everything. She had bounced from division to division, picking up whatever case needed doing. Not a soul was surprised when Rivah became the new Department Head. Except for, perhaps, Rivah herself. She'd been far too pleased to feel anything else.
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Post by James S Potter Tue Nov 26, 2013 8:40 pm

In a small way, Cael was fond of the idea that he knew Rivah quite well although he was under no illusions that he did to any great depth. However, he felt he understood her to the point where he could tell almost to the letter what she’d ask of him in terms of fudge and despite his rather vocal disdain of the peppermint flavour he dug out the required amount of coinage happily enough, watching as the vendor turned over the allotted pieces before moving onto the next customer.

“As much as it pains me,” Cael uttered with an air of the dramatic about him as he set the little bags of fudge into her hands. He’d gestured in that subtle, very self-assured, Ivanov way of manner for the vendor to add just that little bit too much - quite a lot more than what Rivah had asked for. Cael quite enjoyed the prospect of becoming the enabler to her sweet tooth, however, and while he knew she’d probably loathe him for it later, at present it was quite an amusing idea.

Cael’s eyebrows ran up towards his hairline at her announcement and his face lit up with an electric smile that spread across the whole of his features, making him, for just that moment, look a little less pensive and kindly thoughtful and more like the young man that had romped around Durmstrang with his friends. He looked younger again, just for that fleeting second while he basked in his friend’s success. He certainly wished he could take on such a role but, for him, Head Healer was good enough.

Certainly, it was very rewarding.

“Congratulations, Rivah-Glimmah.” He exclaimed, rhyming her name along in an easy trip of his tongue. He embraced her again, pressing an impromptu kiss on her forehead as he did so and, when he pulled away, added, “I am most definitely buying you lunch, then.”

From Honeydukes they departed, weaving into the streets thrumming with student-based activity. During Hogsmeade visits it must’ve made up for all of the dead trade for the vendors and shopkeepers of the little Scottish village. Well-populated or not, Cael doubted highly that they ever made as much over the course of a ‘normal’ weekend as they did when the students were out and about, Galleons burning holes in their pockets.

The Three Broomsticks was thankfully not as busy as it usually was at the height of lunchtime. With still an hour to go the younglings were probably filling their boots and their bags with useless nonsensical items, leaving little money left for Christmas presents. No doubt within the next few weeks it would be Cael having to foot the bill - or, at least, part of it - for his favourite wolfish miscreants in the forms of Charlie Dyllan and co. to buy their families the prerequisite presents.

As it was so sparse in terms of populous, Cael managed to grab a booth for them and set down his coat and other effects before going up to the bar, checking his watch briefly before deciding to order to Butterbeers. It was far too early, lunchtime, nearly, or not, to start on anything harder than that. Once they were bought, he returned to their table, glasses in hand and a menu under his arm with a smile on his mouth.

“You’ve been a busy bee, then?” He prompted, setting down the drinks before handing her the menu. “Wish I could claim to be as busy as you.”
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Post by Rivah Trenton Fri Dec 27, 2013 10:03 pm

Her forehead still felt warm. It had been a good few minutes since Cael has pressed his lips to her skin, but the area still tingled slightly, as if the man had left traces of something behind that had seeped into her skin. Rivah had almost forgotten how charming her friend could be, how easy conversation had always been between the two of them.

It didn't exactly help that he was rather handsome, either.

Taking a sip of the Butterbeer than he had bought her, without even needing to ask what she would like, the witch examined the face of her friend. Upon realizing exactly what she was doing, the woman looked down at the menu she'd been handed, examining her options despite the fact that she was almost certain she'd be getting what she always did. After all, it wasn't her fault that their Sprout Salad was ridiculously good.

"I have been busy," Rivah admitted, closing her menu with a delicate flick of her left wrist. "Too busy I think, sometimes," she added with an almost soundless giggle. At least four days a week she crashed as soon as she got home. Between her work at the Ministry, and all the Death Eater stuff she was getting involved in, the blonde had little time for anything else.

The woman's social life had plummeted within the last few months. After all, she hadn't even realized how long it had been since she'd seen Cael. Rivah had managed to reach that point. She had turned into one of these people who were so busy that they'd forgotten about friends and family; the people who should matter most. The people who time should always be made for.

Come to think of it, she hadn't seen her parents since her birthday, months ago. She'd stopped by her brother's house for lunch a few weeks back, but prior to that she hadn't seen him since the birth of her niece. Rivah couldn't help but wonder if she would bother to see them more if her family was composed of wizards and witches, instead of muggles. Shrugging the thought aside, now really wasn't the time for such thoughts, the woman met Cael's eyes and smiled.

"As busy as me or not, I bet you do a hell of a lot more good," Rivah stated, a light flush decorating her cheeks. She'd always admired her friend for his choice of profession. It took a special type of person to dedicate their lives to helping others and be happy with the decision. Then again, the ex-Ravenclaw had always known that the Ivanov was special.

This was one of the many reasons that Rivah was so careful to keep any hints of her Death Eater allegiances quiet around her friend. She was well aware that the man would be less than approving, perhaps to the point where he's refuse to associate with her all together. Rivah wasn't sure that she'd be able to handle that.

Besides, it wasn't like she ran around killing people or anything, she was just used for her intel. Still, what the wizard didn't know couldn't hurt him.
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Post by James S Potter Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:24 pm

Since returning home, the front line of battle in the Muggle world had slowly become a nightmare of a memory, rather than a real reality that he’d lived. Post-Traumatic Stress had made itself known the way it always did when he came home and Cael would wake up in a hot, occasionally cold, sweat with the sheets cocooned round his legs, catching him as though a net or something of the like had thrown over him like his dream had professed.

It had become somewhat routine to wander up to St. Mungo’s and have a chat every couple of weeks with the military therapist who was used to seeing him – like clockwork. He didn’t talk about what happened or about the dreams. She had gotten used to him being evasive on that front and had learnt not to ask about the tally he kept or the events that had transpired or the ones he’d lost – what he’d had to change to survive.

What they spoke about most was his work and his day-to-day activities. What had been noted was the emergence of a true pattern or routine which, while present during his tours, had truly become pronounced. There had always been excitement while out in the middle of nowhere and there was at Hogwarts, too, but his life was slotted into little blocks and the clocks chimed him into his ready place. She liked that. It seemed to settle him.

The nightmares were lessening.

The routine had also allowed for some time to really enjoy Hogsmeade and other small Scottish villages as well as the main cities which he occasionally travelled down to. He’d formed his own palette of preferences and he’d learnt that in The Three Broomsticks he’d always have a steak and ale pie for lunch, “hold the salad, love,” and a Butterbeer with it. In the little café in Dufftown he’d have a cappuccino and one of Sue’s strawberry creams.

It was helping, the routine. Seeing Rivah had thrown him a bit but in interacting with her he was understanding just what his doc had meant about the importance of breaking the routine too. She knew as well as he did that the spontaneity was still there but what neither one of them wanted to unlock was the recklessness and the ruthlessness that had kept him alive and had nearly gotten him court-martialled on many an occasion – would have, too, had it not been for the overwhelming success he had.

Change was as good as routine, he was learning.

It seemed good for Rivah too who, by the sounds of it, seemed to have little time to breathe let alone do anything else.

At her words, Cael’s eyebrows rose in surprise and he met her gaze with quiet curiosity before embarrassedly shrugging a shoulder.

“I’ve already let down fifty boils this week,” he told her with an accompanying chuckle. “The First Years have had a whale of a time. I think I could name all of them – heavy handed with newt eyes and salamander goo the whole lot.”

In truth, Cael really enjoyed his work. He found the students of Hogwarts highly interesting. They were doggedly persistent in their mischief and many of them had taken Cael as a confident due to his inability to punish and his eagerness to be on their side for mischief’s sake. If there was blame to be had on any of his little friends then it would inevitably be taken on his shoulders and thus he had become something of a hero for the students – not only would he help them out of scraps but he’d also care for their bumps and bruises, a true friend.

He was certainly not as fearsome as Madam Pomfrey was. He supposed that was to do with the charm.

Cael took a sip of his Butterbeer and chuckled again, shaking his head clear of his thoughts.

“I’ve got Rose Weasley in with me so it’s really easy going until match days come round which means everyone is getting clipped by Bludgers and this, that and the other. Total nightmare. Really though I tend to spend time flitting between Hogwarts and my goddaughter’s home. It’s great actually being here because I get to see her grow up. She starts school for real next year and her mum’s not looking forward to it. Liz can’t wait though, bless her heart.”

Cael smiled fondly, mostly to himself, and brushed a hand over his face for a moment before focusing back onto Rivah and the present. Melancholy had grasped him for a minute. Jack wouldn’t get to see his daughter grow up. Cael was in the unique position where he could do that for his buddy. He could be the father his friend’s little girl needed without letting her forget her dad. He could do that now, now he was home. He’d keep his promise.

“Merlin, I’m going on. Guess I’m making up for lost time. I’ve missed you, Riv. Missed you a lot. I always loved talking to you. Tell you what. How about you get yourself an evening – take time off Missus Department Head – and I’ll cook you a nice dinner, we’ll splash out on couple of good bottles of wine and make a night of it. Then we can say we’re friends again for good. One lunchtime just isn’t good enough for me. Come to think of it, I don’t think one evening would be, either.”

Cael grinned. Oh yes, spontaneity was good, indeed.
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Post by Rivah Trenton Sat Dec 28, 2013 5:55 am

((OOC: Okay, wow, that was long and deep. I feel inadequate. And, um, Rivah ended up a bit more smitten than I had intended. Sorry, but I'm so not sorry.))

He'd blushed. Well, not quite blushed, but he'd lifted his shoulders in a little embarrassed shrug, and then broke eye contact for a split second. Rivah had made Cael blush. She was rather proud of herself. But damn, Cael was cute.

Okay, so Rivah might have something of a crush.

She could handle that, she could totally handle that. It was no big deal. It really wasn't. It wasn't.

To be fair, Rivah had always had something of a crush on Cael. It was hard not to, when it came down to it. Besides, any straight female who wasn't reeled in by the wizard's charms and looks and personality was either blind or insane. So it wasn't Rivah's fault that she was attracted to her friend. She was just a hot-blooded female, that was all.

But then the male started speaking. The way his eyes lit up when he talked about the students was frankly endearing. It truly was admirable, the way he actually and honestly cared. Rivah was half convinced that the man was far too nice to actually exist, most days. He was practically the paragon for the perfect human male. He was perfect, or at least close as people could get, in Rivah's unbiased opinion. Especially those biceps of his, Merlin were those perfect.

Rivah was just about to take a sip of her drink when Cael started telling her how much he'd missed her. Hell, it was like the man knew exactly which buttons to press to get her to melt into semi-incoherant goo. The blonde was rather proud of the fact that her cheeks were only dusted a light pink, instead of an atrocious bright red. Bloody hell, she'd missed this man. Missed their conversations, his laugh, the way he treated her like no other person did.

"I missed you too, so much Cae," Rivah admitted with a bold smile. "We can't let this happen again, this whole going-months-without-talking thing. So I'm putting you in charge of that. You know how I can be when it comes to social things sometimes." Honesty was practically pouring out of her tone. She was always more truthful and open about things around the Healer. The witch wondered what the man would think of her if he could see how she acted on a regular basis.

"Merlin yes," Rivah murmured, leaning back in her seat and taking a generous sip of Butterbeer. "You have no idea how much I've missed your cooking. That sounds amazing," the blonde revealed, eyes sparkling. And if Cael got a little too tipsy and accidentally took advantage of her, well, Rivah certainly wouldn't complain.

Holy hell, what was she thinking? She hadn't consumed nearly enough alcohol to rationalize that kind of thought process. Besides, Cael was far too gentlemanly to do something like that. Damn, him.
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Post by James S Potter Mon Dec 30, 2013 1:24 am

In his head, Cael already had a million recipes in mind to try on Rivah and see what she had to say. He’d been cooking since he’d come home too and found he had a knack beyond beans and rice from when they were out on patrol. He also succeeded beyond burgers and steaks and chips – not that there was anything wrong with that – but he actually had a small talent for cooking something that was worth getting your laughing gear round.

He wanted to impress Rivah, much to his surprise. He wanted to show her he wasn’t just a silly seaman and he was someone worth having around with viable talents bar shooting things and running up and down a ship. He also wanted his friend back, more than anything, and his mother had always been right when she said that the way to a person’s heart was through their stomach – not just men, women too.

“Give me a key,” Cael joked, not really realising just how forward he was being. “I’ll come and cook and sit in your house and make you be social. I’ll get your jammies out, too, and you won’t even have to lift a finger.”

Cael laughed heartily and took a moment to flag down a waitress. Once the orders were taken down, the waitress hurried away and Cael returned his gaze to Rivah.

“When do you want me to come over then, in all seriousness? I’m free… basically every evening. I can do every evening this week if you like.”

Cael grinned cheekily. He certainly had enough recipe ideas for a week’s worth of dining. Whether he had enough wine, however, was another matter entirely.

“You know you want to spend all-day-every-day with me.” He laughed.
James S Potter
James S Potter
Gryffindor Graduate
Gryffindor Graduate

Number of posts : 109
Special Abilities : Animagus, Parselmouth
Occupation : Explorer in the Dept. of Mysteries

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