This wasn't ... I wasn't ... You weren't .. Oh, Merlin..

Once again, as if it had not been dropped to begin with, there was a wall between Gisele and Cerelia, impenetrable, un-scalable and certainly, in Cerelia’s opinion, not worth breaching. She pushed Gisele out for no good reason. Perhaps it was to protect herself but more likely it was to protect Gisele. Gisele sought stability and patience and, above all, love. Cerelia could provide none and if she were to be true and honest with herself, she did not know how to provide the above. She had never seen anything of that ilk before and even if she had, her selfish aloofness would have prevented her from executing such things anyway. She was an impatient creature, unforgiving and wrapped catastrophically around her father’s little, ringed finger. She was his to do with what he wanted and she was in no position to revolt against that. Not even for Gisele, for happiness; however fleeting it would be.

Yet, she could dream. She could hope and she could cling onto the idea of friendship though that too felt bizarrely unattainable. If she were to reach that stage, perhaps then she could be content in that, to be Gisele’s life but not as passionately as perhaps she wanted. That she could live with, however hard the concept was to bear at this moment in time. Hot Chocolate sounded better then, than ever had done and by the time Gisele rejoined Cerelia, the blonde could taste the chocolate on her tongue and was beginning to grow impatient with waiting for it. Though, seeing Gisele again relaxed Cerelia and she allowed the girl a small smile before gesturing for them to begin the slow trudge back up to the castle.

Cerelia looked over at Gisele when she spoke and looked away again as quickly as she had executed the former action. She swallowed, tucking her hands into the pockets of her cloak, and shrugged her shoulders a little, unsure as to what the appropriate response would be.

“He is fine, I suppose.” Cerelia allowed. “My father is marrying him off to an Albanian witch who can’t speak any English. He said that was the best way to produce heirs.” Cerelia nibbled absent-mindedly on her bottom lip. “My father has been looking for a suitor again, for me. He is considering a German wizard. Some distant cousin, or someone. I’m not sure, really.”

Why were things always so complicated with Cerelia? The way the pair interacted was in a perpetual state of change, seeming to alter with every slight shift in the blondes mood. On some days they were almost friends - laughing around the commonroom with Julien and Katarina. On other days Gisele was given the cold shoulder, a perfect balance of hostility and indifference. It nearly drove her insane and yet for unknown reasons she was unable to shake the other girl from her mind. Perhaps it was this instability that kept her on her toes. Cerelias approval and affection was something that needed to be won, making it a challenge and more desirable. But now the brunette was verging on desperate to understand their undefined relationship and was getting completely worn out feeling so.

Ah, the dreaded suitors. A concept Gisele was only too familiar with. Beyond her displeasure at the idea of Cerelia being married to anyone, German cousin or not, she could deeply sympathize with her companion. Talk of her own betrothal had been circulating around her house for the last year or so, becoming all the more urgent when she had turned sixteen. Sometimes it felt like her mother was convinced that anyone over twenty who did not have a husband was an old maid already. Gabrielle was clamoring for grandchildren, unconvinced of Julien's eligibility to be heir.

In all honesty, Gisele didn't mind the idea of being shipped off to become some Arabian princess. The closest she had ever gotten to a real relationship was Iris and she knew deep down that even that had no chance of truly working out. Even if the brunette were able to overcome her own personal walls, the issue of her family would be completely impenetrable. In no world would Gabrielle allow her only daughter to marry a girl with no real fortune of her own, especially if the relationship was unable to produce a heir. It was merely good fortune that Iris was pureblooded, making her at least a suitable friend in her mother's eyes.

The casual way that Cerelia mentioned her possible betrothal bothered Gisele but she didn't say anything about it. She purposely avoided talking about D'eaths and Krums and Arabian Princes. Those topics were okay within her house, but discussing them out in the open would make everything real. So instead she just mumbled the first thing that came to her mind:

"You deserve better than that." Even Gisele, a girl who had far less class and beauty than Cerelia was getting someone better than a German cousin. The idea of her stuck in some old house, put on a shelf like a trophy, left to gather dust was completely sickening. For a moment Gisele's imagination carried her away to a time a place where she could be Cerelia's wife. They would live in Italy and have horses. Gisele would swim off their dock, occasionally looking up at the blonde to see her immersed in a book. Sunlight would catch her hair and set the platinum blonde aglow and her face would be covered in shadows from the large floppy hat she wore.

Scolding herself, Gisele slipped her hands in her pockets, uncomfortable how exposed they were to the open air. Glancing momentarily at Cerelia, Gisele voiced a question she desperately wanted to ask. "Do you want to marry him?"

There wasn’t really much choice in the matter where husbands were concerned. It was not Cerelia’s place to dictate who it was she was to be betrothed to. That was her father’s decision and certainly knew better than to question Adolphus. Her father was a law unto himself and he decided and changed his mind to his heart’s content.

He had gone through dozens of young men, all having been deemed unsuitable but it was the German on his mother’s side that had really caught Adolphus’ eye. Of course naturally, Cerelia’s brothers hated the young man and Cerelia was not all together fond of him either if any of the stories her brothers had relayed to her proved true.

Klaus was from a poor off-shoot of the Richmond family. Originally from somewhere in Western Europe, they found a good settlement in South Germany and built their reputation. However, the eventual fall from grace occurred in the 1920s when Klaus’ great-grandfather gambled away all of their money in hedonistic pursuits, leaving them penniless with only the clothes on their back to keep them war.

By comparison, their situation had vastly improved but they could not afford to keep Cerelia in the manner to which she was used to. So Klaus would simply have to come and live with them, a foolish ploy to keep Cerelia close to Adolphus. But the man was as much of a fool as his great-grandfather and loved the woman, regardless of who she was. How... distasteful.

“It’s what is for the best,” Cerelia allowed, wincing a little at the thought of Klaus. “But what of you?” She asked quickly, changing the subject. “What of your suitors? Surely you have dozens of proposed ones.”

It was only with Cerelia that Gisele felt any discomfort in talking about her future marriage plans. With Julian it was more of a joke than anything now.. at parties they enjoyed teasing each other with the most repulsive, yet still eligible, bachelors and bachelorettes that were in attendance. She had ever discussed the very real possibility of her betrothal to a stranger with Iris. The other girl had been upset but still more understanding than Gisele could have ever predicted. Iris was able to rationalize the whole thing more completely in a few hours than Gisele had been able to in her entire life. But Cerelia, the girl who should understand better than anyone else, was impossible for Gisele to open up to.

"One or two." Gisele muttered unenthusiasticly. She shuffled her feet through the snow, a pileup of fluff forming under her feet. Rays of sun were starting to shine through the clouds and taking away just a bit of the chill of the day. She hoped the sun could melt Cerelias chill too.

Krum. What a powerful name it had become in the pureblood circles of the wizarding world. A name that Gisele had no choice but to respect and admire. But it was no way a name that she would have thought to call her own one day. Gisele Krum. It wasn't lovely. It didn't roll off the tongue. And she would never get used to it. The details hadn't been confirmed and there was still a chance that the betrothal wouldn't happen. But from the excitement of her mother she felt pretty sure that it would. Mrs. Alaric Krum.

"Cerelia?" Gisele asked, slight trepidation in her voice. "Have you ever thought about not marrying them? Just leaving one day and starting over somewhere else?" She stopped herself, abashed at the boldness of her own words. But then the curiosity at the conversation made her continue. She had been thinking of this for awhile now. Thoughts that could bring some shame to her family. Thoughts worse than the intense attraction she felt towards the girl beside her. "It's just sad when you think about it. We get so little time to figure out who we really love and then it doesn't even matter in the end. In a few years I'll be powerless to make any choice at all." She shrugged, paying special attention to inspecting her hands.

Looking up she caught Cerelia's eyes for a second. "I guess it just makes what we do now seem very important."

The subject of betrothals was a controversial one. Alignments changed at the drop of the hat or the twitch of a clock hand to the twelve and people were always backing out or finding new arrangements. In this respect, Adolphus was very much a culprit and had left Cerelia from birth without a firm house in which to go to when she came of age. Never had a young woman of her beauty been left on a limb for so long. It was only the truly disastrously ugly ones that went so long unanswered. Cerelia wasn’t unanswered, though. No, she was called for at every angle for she was quite the catch, no mistaking, and her dowry was enough to draw them in. What sent them away was her over-protective father, determined not to lose the creature through which he saw his wife. Therefore, someone poor or from a lower family made sense because Cerelia would have to stay – she couldn’t live in poverty after all!

“What ones?” Cerelia asked, suddenly interested as she was pulled from her reverie at Gisele’s admission.

The girls had at some point arrived in the entrance courtyard and Cerelia pulled Gisele over to one of the covered walkways, into the shadows where they could not be overheard. She held tight onto Gisele’s hand and pressed the girl up against one of the supporting beams in order to keep the girl still and read her face should she move to tell a lie. Cerelia squeezed her Gisele’s hands excitedly and laced their fingers together as her joy for Gisele brimmed within her. This was joy tinged with sadness, of course, but for Cerelia it was important to know that Gisele was going to be safe and she knew it was not her place to express possessiveness so instead she showed excitement – it was the right thing to do wasn’t it?

“Come on, tell!” Cerelia enthused. “It has to be someone well-to-do, right? A really important family? You’re Gisele Delacour – you deserve no less!”

Cerelia froze at Gisele’s questions and stepped back from the girl suddenly as if she felt someone had seen them together. Cerelia shook her head at Gisele but could not help but smile.

“Of course. Who doesn’t? But we can’t do it, Gis.” Cerelia stepped forward again. “I mean, our families would be ruined. I would love to live in Italy, live there and explore the rest of Europe at my leisure. I don’t wish to amuse myself with children and dresses but it is bound to happen, Gisele.” Cerelia grasped the girl’s hands again. “We’ll have each other though, won’t we? No matter who we marry? We can go on our own adventures, regardless of what our husbands say. To hell with them, Gisele! But you’re right, aren’t you? What happens today and now matters.”

Cerelia bit her lip, suddenly growing coy. “Could I...” Cerelia lowered her gaze to the floor. “Perhaps... just... the once. Would it be okay if I ...” She inhaled and exhaled her words, “kissed you?”

Gisele's eyes sparkled with amusement at Cerelia's enthusiasm to know of her matches. For a moment it felt almost like a twinge of real friendship between the two girls at the tone of the conversation. It was almost like girl talk. Normal, uncomplicated, stress-free. A type of friendship where there was no underlying current of need and desire. A friendship where you didn't have to spend every moment trying not to picture them in less than decent positions. Gisele laughed, shaking her head slightly, unwilling to give up the information that had just been proved desirable.

Cerelia was so close right now. She leaned comfortably against the beam on which Cerelia had been pressing her moments before. This was one place she would never feel claustrophobic. It was too easy to stare into the other girl's eyes right now, watching her soft pink lips move with every tender word. Everything about her captivated Gisele in ways that she couldn't explain. If she wasn't so goddamn lovely things surely would be simpler. But just as the sweet smell of Cerelia's perfume threatened to completely overwhelm the brunette, Cerelia pulled away a little.

“We’ll have each other" The knife that cut Gisele open at those words was tinged with sweetness. It broke her up inside at how badly she wanted such a gesture of friendship from the blonde. The thought of the two being able to run away with Cerelia was absolutely intoxicating. Italy - an endless stream of days like the ones seen over the summer. Bikini's, rum, and days without seeing anyone of the male species. What could be a more perfect way to spend the remainder of her days?

The sweet sadness in Cerelia's eyes hit a strange cord in Gisele. She couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of hope as the blonde talked. She seemed genuinely happy at the idea of them spending time together and like she actually cared. Gisele was so caught up in her fantasy of them together that she didn't even notice as the other girl moved closer.

It took several long moments for her words to register in Gisele's mind. "What?" she asked, confusion clouding her brain. She was sure that she had heard wrong.. that there was no way the blonde would have said such a thing to her because there was no way that she could return these feelings.. These feelings that twisted and tumbled and rumbled inside of her. These feelings that sometimes grew so intense she could swear they were going to break her apart. There weren't butterflies in her stomach. There were hurricanes and tsunamis and ice storms. But as the moment passed, time warping itself, making one second feel like a thousand, Gisele realized that she had not heard wrong.

And then in half a second it all clicked. What was happening. What could happen. And without another word Gisele kissed her. Softly, their lips connected. Her heart fluttered within her chest but she restrained herself and broke away only seconds later. She looked for Cerelia's eyes, catching them and holding them, searching for any sort of reaction. Oh how badly she wanted to kiss her again but she was too cowardly to do so without some sort of encouragement.

And just like that, she was deposited onto a cloud. Her lips had found Gisele’s finally and the two women were for a moment, completely one, merely extensions of their union of persons. Cerelia’s hands found Gisele’s waist and the cream of her exposed flesh there, her top having ridden up, but as soon as the ecstasy had begun, it ended and Cerelia was forced from Gisele. Yet the girls remained close and Cerelia clutched that little bit tighter onto Gisele. A small smile spread across the girl’s lips and she stared at Gisele with hooded eyes.

“I just wanted to see,” Cerelia murmured to Gisele.

But the gravity of what she had done soon hit Cerelia and an uncomfortable feeling rumbled through her insides. She pulled away from Gisele, her eyes widening as she realised exactly what had just transpired between the two girls.

“Oh...God.”

Cerelia blanched and backed away from Gisele, her body beginning to shake.

“I...I...”

And then, she fled, her feet thundering over the cobbles, towards the castle, tears brimming in her eyes. She burst through the entrance hall and barrelled through the a group of rowdy Gryffindors, heading straight for the grand staircase. She didn’t know where she was going to go, or why.

She just needed to go.