Could Haves and Would Haves

It was much easier not to look at James at first. She quickly reached forward and took a shot of Firewhiskey, again downing it like a professional. She then pulled a mug and the bottle of Mead towards her, quickly pouring herself a hearty mug of the mead after the end of her story. Jack was not ashamed of her story, she was not afraid of the responses she received. She just hated sympathy when she felt she was undeserving of it. She could not give enough sympathy to the family of those who had died- during the battle, and by Vito's will. She owed too many sympathetic looks to appreciate one given to her.

He began to speak and she forced her eyes to meet his, keeping them as steady and indifferent as possible. She slowly responded, "It was necessary. I have come to agree to that." She took on a more even tone of voice, saying, "But even the necessary has consequences, and I am more than willing to face those I see my hand in."

And there was that look she could never accept. Nemo had looked at her that way. She had only accepted it then because he had broken down before her, and if she spurned him then, it would have surely been cruel.

She responded curtly to his continued assurances. "I enjoy my life. It's a different direction. An overworked life, yes, but I glean great pleasure from my work. I miss Quidditch but I think it'd be torturous to abandon all the good work I have been doing too." She smirked. "The world's not smart enough to fix itself."

His offer was a very good one though, one she could not have possibly anticipated. She blinked once and snapped her mouth closed. "Uh... yeah. I can definitely force my schedule open enough to do that." She paused, suddenly aware that her gratitude was a little too open, a little too sincere for her taste. She grinned, saying, "I hope your team won't be too embarrassed after I kick their butts over the Quidditch pitch to invite me back."

Jack felt all of the agitation that had accompanied the sensitive topics regarding her life decisions and the past begin to melt from her guarded barriers. The panels of her self defense carefully folded up as they allowed her to, once again, take part in friendly, casual, NORMAL conversation. Honestly, she had become starved for contact that did not involve someone trying to murder her or themselves.

The cat hopped onto her lap and she cupped it's face, rubbing her thumbs over the cheeks of the cat, carefully stimulating the sense glands that cats always rubbed things against. Jack knew the way people who operated on their own were attached to their pets, so Jack said in an overly-sweet voice, "Who wants to leave James forever and come leave with Aunty Jack?" She grinned up at James with a teasing smirk.

His words pleased her. Jack was not one who needed an ego boost, but when she received praise she believed she had earned. Jack tsk-ed her head and said, "I vaguely remembering my old twig outracing your polished piece of draftwood." Jack grinned. "I actually have invested in a Firebolt." What she failed to say was that she had used it about twice, still preferring her old Comet 260 to the newer model.

"Ah, Doom could never be persuaded to join the dark side and live with a woman," James crooned as he held his hand out to the cat, "Damned traitor," he added when Doom turned his back on him, swishing his tail as a sign of kitty laughter.

"By the way, m'dear," James said, ignoring his haughty cat, "It almost sounded as if you were challenging my prowess on a broom, do we need to...." but James was unable to finish the sentence.

The house filled with a loud ringing noise, verberating within the walls. James frowned. That was his sensory alarm. He was not expecting Lily until the holidays, and Albus wasn't due to come for a visit until tomorrow. He could think of no one else who would come calling.

With a significant look at Jack, James extracted his wand, slowly advancing towards the window near the front door. He was the sole secret-keeper of his home, and no one should be able to find it unless he leads them there himself.

Doome streaked off Jack's lap, and leapt onto the window sill in front of James. Out of the corner of his eye, James saw Kreacher taking his position, frying pan in his hands. Now wising that he hadn't taken in so much of that deblilitating alcohol, James was comforted in the fact that there was at least another Order memeber here to help fight if needed. On the other side of the coin, no matter how capable Jack was, James felt an obligation to keep her safe, as she was in his home. Were she to get hurt, James would feel the weight of the guilt for bringing her here tonight.

The cat stayed near Jack, as animals seemed prone too. Again, it probably had something to do with the shared use of instinct. Jack might be unpredictable, but that was to humans she seemed to. She typically followed her instincts and made up for the consequences later. Jack had a feeling that animals somehow sensed this, and that was why she seemed to get along with them. Of course, it was all theory.

Another theory was that she was just badass.

James began to speak, indicating a challenge and she raised her eyebrows, the ghost of a smirk forming on her lips. She opened her mouth, prepped to respond when there was a noise filling the house. Jack's face snapped into a serious expression of concern as she looked at James. He looked equally concerned.

Doom sped off and Jack took this as her cue- he stood, drawing her wand and holding it loosely at her side, her entire arm buzzing with anticipating for whatever may come. Her face was relaxed, calm, simply waiting.

James continued to peer into the darkness, but he saw nothing. A sudden rapping on the door made him jump.

"What the devil?" he thought to himself. He hadn't seen anyone approach the doorstep...but then a sudden realization hit him, and he had an idea of who had come calling.

James opened the door a crack, wand drawn, yet sure enough, Albus's face suddenly appeared out of thin air. He had been wearing their dad's invisibility cloak.

"Criminy, Albus!" James sighed, "You scared the living dead outta me. I thought you were coming tomorrow."

"I know," Albus moaned, "I just couldn't keep it in anymore. You need to know."

Albus froze, his eyes fixing on Jack.

"Jack, you'll remember Albus," James said, as he returned to the couch and had another shot of whiskey to sooth his nerves, "He was in your year."

((Just playing Albus as NPC, so have at 'em.))

Jack followed James, prepared to assist him. If the intruder got a chance to get at James, a follow up spell from herself would surely stop them. She waited, the base of her wand cradled between her ring and middle finger, her thumb steadying it.

James opened the door and Jack's arm tensed in preparation, but James' words relaxed Jack. She kept her wand close until she was certain it was him, as his face appeared. She tucked her wand away into her coat and James broke the ice between them.

Jack grinned at Albus, as the two were Quidditch rivals as well. She could get used to being surrounded by other players. She reached out a hand and said, "It's been awhile. Nice to see your alive." He numbly seemed to respond, shaking her hand, but looking awkward. Jack shook his hand extra vigorously after a moment and it seemed to stir him out out his surprise. "Oh- sorry I- hi Jack!"

She grinned and released his hand, following James back to the couches, taking her place and lifting her mug. "Want some mead? You might want to take a few shots of Firewhiskey to catch up to us."

Albus accepted a shot of the firewhiskey, draining it with one throwback of his head. He wiped his mouth, still clearly nervous.

"Thank you, Jack," Albus said, "but unfortunately I didn't come for pleasentries."

He turned to his brother, looking like a sheepish young boy who had just been caught doing something he shouldn't. James laughed at the look, having seen it so many times.

"Now what could you have done that is so horrible?" James asked, "We all know that it can't be anything worse than what I've done. You were the good boy."

Albus said nothing, wringing his hands.

"What?" James pressed, "Did you get a girl pregnant or something? Cause if that's the case, it's nothing I'm going to be mad...."

"No, no," Albus replied, beginning to turn red, "You're the one who got a girl pregnant."

James froze, his mouth still hanging open, a trace of a smile slowly fading from his face and turning to a frown.

"What are you talking about?" he demanded, scowling in a puzzled way, "I've always been very careful."

"Not with Jamie..." Albus whispered, not meeting his brother's eyes.

"Jamie? You mean Jamie Prophet?!"

Albus nodded as James began to get increasingly agitated.

"She confided in me after you had graduated, and made me promise not to tell. I kept waiting for the right time to tell you, but then Kanade died, and then mother. I couldn't burden you with it then."

James began to shake. Rage was coursing through his body. He reacted impulsivly, grabbing his brother by the robes and slamming him against the back of the couch.

"You've known....all this time...and you never told...your own brother?" James breathed, barely containing himself.

James released him suddenly, turning to a cupboard across the room and started rifling among books inside.

"I can't believe that B**** kept this from me. What in the world could she have been thinking? Did she really want to hurt me that much? First she cheats on me, and now I find that she's been harboring my child for the past few years, with I none the wiser," he was muttering mostly to himself.

James turned around and faced Albus yet again, a photograph had been torn from the book, and was now clenched in his hand.

"You're sure it's mine?" James asked darkly, anger seeming to seep from his every pore.

"Yes," Albus whispered.

Without another word, James snatched up his cloak and began to stride towards the door. He was going to go and find that B**** right now, and get the truth straight from her lips.

Jack watched the interaction with confused eyes, but it seemed that James was just as clueless as to Albus' meanings as she was. As the truth began to work its way out, Jack's surprise and concern registered on her face.

She had seen the other side of this. She had seen the girl approaching her, to tell her she was pregnant and that there were two guys in her life she had loved and been loved by. From the sounds of it, Jamie had been impregnated by the original, Chase had been by the boy she replaced her boyfriend with.

But Jack remembered Andrew, the anger of a boy who had lost the girl he loved, seemingly forever. And she remembered Elijah, enraged that his daughter had been taken from his life.

Jack did not jump as James grabbed Albus, for he was not hurting his brother, and she felt for James. She knew what it was like to be the last to know something this vital. It was horrible, and for that betrayal to come from a brother. Her mouth settled into a grim line as she allowed James' feelings to pour forth. He rifled through his books and Jack was silent still.

It wasn't until he began to head towards the door that Jack stood. The door had remained open- Albus must have forgotten from his own nerves- and Jack waved her wand, closing the door. She caught up to James, and firmly placed her hand around his wrist.

"James, I think you have a tad too much alcohol in your system to be able to properly express what you want to say to Jamie."

James tensed as Jack grabbed his wrist, barely containing the urge to lash out at her. None of this was her fault, and she was right, he needed to get his head straight.

"I don't even know where to find her," James confessed, sinking back into the couch, putting his head in his hands, "I just can't believe that I've had a daughter all these years without even knowing it. I can't understand why Jamie wouldn't have just told me. I haven't been there to protect her. To be her father. Every child needs their father."

James spoke this last part bitterly, thinking of how he was robbed of his own father at a very young age. He would not let another child, let alone his own, grow up fatherless if he could help it.

"I was thinking I'd go to the Leaky Cauldron," James said after a few moments of silence, "I figured that everyone knew everyone else there, and it'd be a good place to start. I need to find her. I need to know that the child is safe, and that she is happy. I never imagined that I would obtain a family of my own in this way, but if this is how life is going to throw it at me, this is how I'm going to take it. Now that I know, I can't just pretend that the child doesn't exist. I want the child to know who their father is, who their grandfather and grandmother are. Oh, Albus....you shouldn't have waited!"

James slumped forward, his elbows propped on his lap, and his hands clenched around the back of his head. How could this happen?

((I'll send Elijah a message that I'm inviting you to our thread in the Leaky Cauldron, that is if Jack wants to accompany James there. Hope I didn't move onto this too fast. If I had waited a bit, we could have discussed the fiasco of an order meeting a bit.))

((Oooh, that'll be interesting. Jack and Eli don't get along. XD ))

James finally spoke and Jack recognized that the danger of him storming out and pillaging Hogsmeade seemed to be over. She released him, never one for human contact, and followed him back to the couches, though she continued on to the bar, listening to him. She looked about and spotted a teapot. With a flick of her wand, it filled with water, and then boiled it. She pulled out two mugs and found herself a box of hot chocolate, quickly mixing the packets with the water.

She walked around the bar, bringing a mug of the warm liquid to both of the Potter boys to aide with their distress. She had found that hot chocolate always seemed to dull the edge of bad news. She, herself, continued to drink the Mead which allowed some alcohol into her system. After a night like this, she sure as hell needed it.

Jack watched James begin to dissolve and she pushed the mug closer to him, glancing up at Albus for help. Jack never knew how to comfort someone. It wasn't until someone was down to the last nerve, falling apart, and close to hopelessness- then Jack could swoop in and save the day.

Jack cleared her throat and moved to sit next to James, shooting Albus a "Do something" look. He responded with an expression that said "Me do something? You do something!" Jack let out a sigh and patted James' shoulder. "Look James... I'm shit at comforting. All I know is... I mean, she's young. The girl is young and it's not too late for her to have a father. You did nothing wrong, and you have a big opportunity to do right. You'll fix this, and it'll be better."