more than just a "hey there, baby"

The past was the past but that didn't mean that it didn't impact the future. On a contrary, it very much impacted day to day activities now that she was back in town. Even when she had run away, memories stuck and the heart aches for what wasn't presented and yet still yearned for. At one point in her life, she had found herself in company of good girl friends. Mariana and Sophia were sweet girls and although they good get on her nerves at times (like the rest of the world) they had truly shown care for her. It was weird, thinking about and realizing just how much they had tried to be there for her in situations that she would not allow them to be. Ginevra had hidden pride, though it was easily mistaken and blended into her intense ability and passion for nurturing and protecting everybody but herself. Whether or not to look them back up was the question. Would they be mad at her as well? Before she had left, they weren't aware of the fact that she had become a werewolf, nor had they been as close as they were at the best parts of the friendship. Ginevra never truly understood how friendships worked, especially with girls. The emotions tended to be intensified and it was quite possible by leaving and not telling them that their feelings were hurt for several of which reasons she herself could see if the positions had been reversed.

Ginevra was a very hot and cold type of person. At some moments, she could keep her mouth shut for the best of things and others, there wasn't a chance in hell to cover up what was going on in the busy mind of hers. Often she forgot what the mood was like, or rather simply ignored it to not allow herself to tense up more than necessary. In situations as such, that wasn't always the best but, as always, it was a part of what made Ginevra.. well, Ginevra. Reaching in front of her and lightly grabbing Darren`s hand as it swung beside him, the blood inside of her was boiling as he purposely walked a few steps in front of her. The silence was too much, it left for thought that evaded her from progress. "If you want to catch up, then act like it. You can be an arse all you want, I'd expect much less, but we have been through enough to skip the childish games, have we not?" she blurted out, nearly stomping her foot down. With furrowed eyebrows, it didn't really cross her mind to care about the fact that she acted like a child quite often when it came to some things. Whatever, she thought. It wasn't like much good was going to come out of this in the end, anyways. It was only typical for her to ruin progress.

The sky seemed to be reflected the way the day was going. Instead of beautiful and looking to be bright, the darker coolers were rolling in as the sun was covered by dark, heavy clouds that threatened to rain down upon everyone who ventured out of the sheltered areas. Sighing out, the new cafe sounded like a good idea. New memories, unfamiliar people. For once, change would be a nice turn in the road. It had perplexed many people over the years, including Darren, why her feelings towards her best friend had developed in the first place. Although she denied it to no ends for quite some time, Ginevra found a good guy behind all the layers of nasty he put out. As her mother had always told her, the exterior of a person could be hard as rock but if you looked close enough, a treasure could be found in plain sight, disguised until the right person comes along. Ginevra didn't consider herself "the right person" for him, no. In so many ways she was the exact opposite from it but that didn't mean she could change the way she felt, as it wasn't for lack of trying some days. The girls who looked passed him had been missing out, much as the guys who couldn't look passed her flaws were in the case that she was involved. It all was messy, even all the years after Hogwarts. Questions flew around and really, not all of them would be answered. Some things were best left unwritten. "If you cant handle me, then say it. Stop hiding behind that darn grimance, I can see right through it. lying through her teeth, Ginevra was depending on his inability to know what was going on with her to mask the fact that she was lost at what he was feeling, what he was thinking and whether he truly was going to walk away and praise hallelujah.

The problem had been how the whole conversation had started. Had Darren kept calm when meeting her, than she might have been gone by now. But now, she was bent on finding out what was wrong with him, and knowing how stubborn Gin could get, she wasn’t about to drop it easily. But he could never make her understand what was going on even if he tried. They came from completely different backgrounds, and had lived completely different lives. For her, he assumed, this was just a friendly reunion of friends, but for Darren it was much different. Gin had not made the mistakes that he had in the past, and certainly not mistakes with the same consequences. She had never killed someone and now, she was exactly where she wanted to be, doing what the job she wanted to do, while he… well he was nowhere. Darren stopped and turned to her, looking at her with a thoughtful expression. “Ginevra.” It was a very old habit of his, to call her by her full name whenever he was angry or displeased with her. “What do you want?” he asked in an almost tired voice. It was a bit unfair question, because he was not sure what he wanted right now. He guessed that the act of taking her to a café, while at the same time ignoring her had created some confusion. Trying to fix that, he continued. “Look, I’m trying to catch up. I’m sorry if I’m not the same person as I was before. And, you remind me of… well, a lot. And that isn’t easy to deal with. I hope you can understand that.” It might have been the same if he had met a different old friend, like Jess or Mari, but Gin was a special case because she also reminded him of a life he could have had, if he had chosen a different path, made different decisions. Regret was not an easy thing to deal with. Sometimes Darren had thought of putting it all in a pensieve and forgetting about it, but that would change him completely, he wouldn’t be the same person at all without the memories.

They had arrived at the café. It was small, and crowded, but they managed to get a table easily enough. No doubt, the easiest way to deal with her right now was to start a more casual conversation. “So have you met any of our old friends since graduating?” he asked as he sat down, mildly interested with the topic. The last old classmate Darren had met was Dae, well over a year ago. He still received some letters from Jess every so often, although he had never replied once. “Jess is the head of the Order you know… And he and Mari are still together,” he added, with a slight grimace. Those two had been together for about four years now. Never did Darren think that a day would come when he would be jealous of Jess. But now, Jess was successful, and had a stable, happy life. Well, as happy as life could get anyway.

Ginevra was always a very indecisive person. Her emotions overpowered her more days than they did not and her mind couldn't keep up, causing all of her actions to be from the heart instead of her head. Well, that was how it used to be. Still, Ginevra had days where she was off but while she had been 'away' and figuring out how to reel in her bi-polar symptoms to at a level where she could at least handle herself, many things had been learned and more decisions could be made with her head. A reason she was able to be a healer- there was a package hidden inside of her, sort of the best of both worlds. Some would understand, others wouldn't but when it came to the tough decisions, she was quite capable of understanding both sides. Feeling her insides curl up, Ginevra felt surprisingly alone. Although there were people all around her, something wasn't right and she didn't like it. For once, she wanted to prove that she could be something other than an emotional turmoil to her.. best friend? If she could even still call him that. The only positive thing that had come out of her being all over the place was that he couldn't read her to save his life. Sure, he had always known some of her habits but those were easy enough to learn for anyone who was attentive enough, no matter the person and how complicated they could be.

Would Darren ever understand what she went through while she was away? The reason as to why she had run hadn't been her emotions, no. It had been what she was, not who. Together it was a dangerous package, it was like she could never get away from being.. anything BUT normal. She knew that he thought her life was full of peaches and roses and that was probably how she would keep it. To try and get anyone to understand her.. it would be painful. She wasn't the girl who she used to be. The blonde knew how her old friend felt about werewolves. Why was it that she felt that he would still relate most? Jess was always understanding and she wondered what it would be like talking if she needed too, but this all went in her head and though it was to her knowledge that talking it out could help with the weight on her shoulders, writing still always seemed like the better option. Shaking her head in disbelief, Darren had finally snapped. First instinct would say that she was surprised he had; this wasn't the case. Ginevra was surprised it had taken him this long. Beyond that, the question was what got her. What did she want? He expected her to actually know? Ha! Leaving the remark unanswered, she felt there wasn't a need to say anything back. Not this time. "I'm not stupid. I am fully aware that it wasn't easy to deal with, whatever the definition of it really is for you." pausing, Ginevra took a deep breath in and let it back out before continuing. The goal was to not seem like a crazy person, right? Opening her mouth, a slight sound came out but no words followed. A slight topic change was needed. Perhaps what she was fighting was what had to happen. Whatever her instinct told her to react with was what she should- it was what made her.. special.

"I haven't." she remarked, thinking back to all the good times she had with her friends, before everything had turned to a darker side. Sophia's warm embrace when she was sad but wouldn't talk, sitting there to comfort instead of pry out what's wrong. Mari's fiery confidence and passion for the people she loved, Jess with his goofy personality and yet still a determination to get what needed to be done, done. They were all dear to her heart in different ways, fitting in like a piece to a broken puzzle. Smiling half heartedly, it made her happy to know that the two were still together. Somebody got what they wanted, and that meant that life was giving a good course to some. They deserved each other and she was happy for them. "They were made for each other, nothing will change that." chuckling to herself, she looked down at the table and then glanced around. "This place is nice. I can see why you like it here. something new had been a good idea. A change in scenery was exactly what the doctor had ordered for the two of them to, hopefully, clear the air and take a breath. "How good of a runner are you?" she asked, randomly putting the question in the air, a devious smile suddenly appearing on her face. She was clearly up to something.

Darren didn't reply to her comment, but simply stared back in response with a thoughtful expression, drumming his fingers on the table. Darren was clearly thinking of a suitable reply. He didn't find one, so he turned and ordered instead. No matter what Ginevra said, Darren was convinced that she did not, and would not understand his position. True, both of them had been through quite a lot during the war, both had lost their parents… But she had never been forced to do the things he had done, her involvement had been her own choice. And when things in the Death Eaters had become to dark for her, she had left. Darren who had served for years, had done plenty of things that he now thoroughly regretted. Yet, he also recalled that, at the time, he had often enjoyed what he had to do as a death eater. In fact, Darren almost wished he could go back to those times, at least then he had a purpose, a place in the world. After the war, having served in both sides, he had ended up neither a hero nor a villain. Another bitter thought, after all, only one group of people who served neither side in a war, cowards, and whatever else he might be, Darren was certainly not in that group.

Darren was mildly surprised to know that Gin had also dropped contact with their old friends. Darren had very good reasons, but he was quite sure that the same did not apply to Ginevra. "Why?" he asked curiously. "Surely they could of helped you with your… predicament…" They had only once spoken about her lycanthropy. For the most part, Darren was quite comfortable with not mentioning it, and Ginevra seemed to know that and had seldom brought it up. He frowned now, he had always thought that Gin had confided in her other, more understanding, friends about the problem. After all, Sophia, Jess or Mari would not hold much prejudice against her for what she had become. It would be quite foolish to not inform them of her problem and seek their support, but then again, it was a very Ginevra-like thing to do. He raised an eyebrow at her sudden question and curious smile, and was about to reply with something like 'why, is it fullmoon already?' but bit his tongue. "Uhh, I suppose so," he replied warily. Darren was tall, rather fit and not very clumsy, so he was quite good at running short distances. Though she had no idea why she was asking.

How predictable of him; making her wait for a response that would never actually come, because people like Darren never opened up. Okay, that was exaggerating a tad bit but despite the fact that she was fully aware she knew more than most people did about him, it wasn’t good enough. Surprise, surprise; nothing ever was these days. Leaving it alone for the moment, Ginevra could only exhaust so much stubborn attitude at once before he went running. It wasn’t like how they used to be- she couldn’t push all limits and expect him to come back or answers the door when she came to (close too unwillingly) apologize. These days he had a girlfriend, didn’t live in a dorm she knew how to locate and well, she wasn’t sure if he even wanted her around. No matter how he had treated her in the past, she knew deep down he had. Being able to only read some of him was frustrating. A little taste of her view towards her, she assumed, but it wasn’t like she was going to call it fair because, clearly, it wasn’t. Understanding that his past had been hard on him, perhaps the whole Death Eater part of his life was best not to probe into. Ginevra’s experience with the Death Eaters hadn’t been to torture people. She had a heart, people she cared about and wanted to protect. That was, until they destroyed her family and took everything she loved away from her. Joining the Death Eaters had simply been to get revenge. The best way to do so was from the inside. The blonde was a smart cookie, she knew it wouldn’t be easy and definitely wasn’t one of the brighter choices she would allow herself to fall into, but it happened. After what was long enough, she decided that it wasn’t worth it. The pain and death she was seeing, the things she was told to do, they weren’t right and they weren’t her. Staying in it to protect Darren wasn’t enough either, because it wasn’t like he would let her do the best she could.

Once out, she didn’t stay out of their business. It was in her nature to put her nose where it didn’t belong and with her best friend being in it still, she had to make sure that he wasn’t lost forever, killed or worse- whatever that may have been but really, there definitely were things worse than death when a being a follower. Sighing, Ginevra took a sip of her drink and tucked a loose blonde hair behind her ear. It made her mind fret, thinking of the dark times in her past. Why dwell? That was what she had to keep reminding herself, as she was definitely one to bring up unnecessary stuff without realizing it at first. ”Predicament?” she replied, raising an eyebrow at him. Glancing to the side, she closed her eyes for a minute and took a deep breath. This wasn’t easy for her either. Somebody who had always shown a weird type of care for her had a hate for what she now was. Ginevra gave him credit though, he was sitting here with her now and that had to be a struggle. It broke her a little inside to know that her recklessness had caused this. Being a werewolf wasn’t something she could take back so whoever she let in had to deal with it or leave: Two simple options that could cause pain on either end for anyone given the choice. ”Do you still see.. uh. Do you struggle with my predicament?” holding her first thought back, she wanted to ask if he still ‘hated’ her but instead, she bit her lip and looked him straight in the eye. It took a look of work to do this, as any answer he gave always caused more emotional turmoil than wanted. ”It’s okay if you do.” she added quickly, although it really wasn’t “okay.”

Taking another glance around, Darren’s confused look made her smile slightly more crooked. ”Good to know.” the blonde noted with an up-down nod and pursed her lips, still smiling. Executing this was going to be a surprise. She didn’t want to just let him have it easy. Nah, it was always more fun to mess with his head and make him wonder what the heck she was up too. His irritation always amused her, even if that made her sound a little twisted. What could she say, it was cute. Never for a second did he intimidate her with his anger.

Darren grimaced slightly, he had hoped she would just give a straight answer, instead of dwelling too much on the werewolf issue. It was clear that she wanted to talk about it to someone about it, but he was not that someone. A good friend would spent the time to comfort her, of course, but Darren had never pretended he was a good friend, in fact, he had spent quite a lot of time trying to point that fact out to her. Though most of his friends were half-bloods and muggleborns, even around them Darren had never been able to hide his prejudice completely. But still, considering the environment he had grown up in, and the people he had been surrounded with, Darren was exceptionally open minded. He had rejected most of the pureblood ideology of the Death Eaters as trash, but he did believe that some of it made sense. When it came to blood, he obviously had a bias for purebloods, but he had also made exceptions for his friends… And himself, because though no one actually knew it, he was half-blood himself. But half-breeds? Darren had never had any hesitation dismissing them as savages. His belief was that, once bitten, the person became an animal. And Darren wasn't too keen on being surrounded by people who were part wolves. Having spent so much time with her, Darren could sometimes forget what Gin actually was.

Do you struggle with my predicament? What was he supposed to say to that? She knew full well what his thoughts were. "No," he replied, and cursed himself mentally immediately afterwards. Even he could tell that the lie had not been remotely convincing, he had replied way to fast, and his eyes, as they always did whenever he was not being honest, had broken off contact with hers. Sure that she had seen through the lie, Darren took a deep breath and continued a with a little more honesty. "I can't say I like it much. But… you haven't changed much… and that's what matters right? So I guess… well I don't know," he said, exasperated and frustrated. "Why do you care what I think about it? I was asking if anyone else knew."

She had neglected to answer his question, and Darren frowned at her, knowing full well that whatever this surprise was going to be, he wasn't going to like it. "I guess your not going to tell me anything more about this, right?" he asked, keeping his tone and expression blank so as to not heighten her amusement. With a small sigh, he turned and looked out the window. The sky had gone even darker and it looked like it would rain. Darren hoped so, after spending so long in the dry climate of Egypt, rain would be welcome.

There were some days where Ginevra wished that she was still in Hogwarts. Although back in her Hogwarts days things weren't much simpler, the environment was at least consistent. She knew where she could find the people she wanted to be around and there were particular places where she could run away from the world, not to be found by anyone besides Darren. Even then, he knew better than to bother her on certain days; not that it stopped him, just as it never stopped her when the positions were reserved. The two were an odd match of friends, people who wouldn't typically click on a regular basis. To this day she questioned how it had even occurred. The blonde could remember being the foolish twelve year old girl jealous of a beautiful Slytherin that had his attention, unsure of why she had even been so attracted to him in the first place. It was probably the stupid mysterious, bad boy phase. Ginevra thought to herself, holding back a chuckle and eye roll at her mental recollections. There would never be words to explain how any girl went through that phase. Mysterious was overrated and bad boys were dangerous. However, Ginevra couldn't say much because she seemed to be lured to danger even years after her Hogwarts years had passed. Sighing, there wasn't a tomorrow and the day after that where she knew that she would see Darren again. This was the reason as to why she was persisting more, whether she thought more on it or not before continuing. It was easier to drop something when one knew that they could continue on it sooner than later. In this generation, it was much less common for her to come across prejudice for what she was and when those few people came along, it wasn't likely that she couldn't flip them the bird and think nothing more of it. Unless it came to Darren, as it did right now. Of course he had t be the person she cared of so much his thoughts on her mattered. Sure, it wasn't totally his fault but that didn't stop it from hurting.


As Darren responded, Ginevra actually managed a half grin. How did he become such a compulsive liar that he thought he could fool her? It hadn't happened before and it wasn't going to start today. Ginevra had some sort of spot in her that just knew when it came to him- for the most part, anyway. Distance hadn't seemed to change that. The piece of her that felt amused subsided and she focused on the fact that he was trying. It seemed like perhaps he was bothered by the fact that he was prejudice? Sighing, Ginevra ran her fingers through her hair, pushing her bangs back only to have them fall back down in front of her face as they always did. Staying silent, Ginevra gave Darren a chance to recover from his previous statement. As much as she would love to believe him, it wasn't the truth and she appreciated him not taking her to be stupid. "I haven't really changed at all." she replied, shrugging her shoulders. This wasn't totally true, but every way she had changed the blonde felt was for the better. Her emotions were more intact than they had been before, causing her to be able to stay frequently rational instead of only here and there. Raising her eyebrows, Ginevra nearly didn't bother to respond to him. Why did she care? Rolling her eyes at her own frustration, the girl took a deep breath and let it pass. "Good point. Why do I care?" as she continued, the Ravenclaw alumni purposely looked right at him. The question was valid. It wasn't like they were together on a daily basis anymore. She had no obligation to even care what he did with his life and vise versa.

Returning to her little 'surprise' this was something that could keep a smile on her face, even if it put a worried one on his. "Of course I'm not." pursing her lips, Ginevra had to loosen up and screwing with Darren's head a little always did the job. Glancing at the sky as she saw his eyes avert that way, she was comforted to know that the weather was going as most would call it, downhill. Rain was always more fun. Although being wet wasn't the most fun thing in the world, splashing around in the puddles like a five year old wouldn't ever get old. However, if it rained her plan to spice things up would be partially spoiled.

[:/]

Despite what others may say, Daren was quite an open minded person, especially when compared to the kind of people he grew up around. He had been surrounded by pureblood supremacists since he was born, and thus he had come to Hogwarts as a typical bigoted pureblood from an old wizarding family. However, prejudice only really comes through experiences, and after spending so much time with half-bloods and muggle borns, Darren had realized that there was nothing wrong with them. Half-breeds on the other hand… he had been in the Death Eaters long enough to experience the wild and bloodthirsty nature of that kind. Blood is not supposed to mix. Traditionalist wizards considered werewolves in particular to be indistinguishable from animals. Darren's experiences with them had only confirmed and deepened this prejudice about them. 

So while Gin seemed fine now, Darren knew - or well, guessed - that eventually her sickness would begin to effect her more over the years. It was an upsetting thought, but then again, it had nothing to do with him. As far as he was concerned, this was a one time meeting. "Clearly," he agreed, though his tone indicated that it was said in a slightly mocking way. Despite the other changes, her personality hadn't changed one bit- her pestering made that quite clear, and it was slowly starting to get to his nerves. Lack of answers and too many questions. Hadn't she said she wanted to 'catch up?' He scowled at her reply, and returned the stare. What was he supposed to say to that? "I don't know, because your obsessive? Because you can't move on? " he replied, with a careless shrug. "I've never been able to find out what goes on in your head." It occured to him immediately how rude that sounded, but he didn't apologize. After all, it was actually the truth, at least from his point of view, and she would know that. Thankfully, the waitress finally decided to come around at that moment, so Darren ordered some tea for himself.

What he didn't understand at all was why she had neglected to answer the question. It was possible she didn't want to talk about it, probably because she was embarrassed? That was the only explanation that made sense to him, but it was hard to tell with her. He assumed it to be true, however, and dropped the subject. He didn't ask about the running thing either, he would just have to remain cautious of any surprises. "Jess was a professor at Hogwarts you know…" he informed her. Old friends seemed to be the best common ground the two of them had now. "I would kill for that job." Or would he? Would being at the castle really feel the same? Darren didn't know for sure, but he doubted it, the simple life of childhood was forever behind him, and going to his childhood home would not restore it in any way, it would only deepen the damn nostalgia.