Susan smiled slightly. Jemma seemed to be a very caring person. Parenting was always an uphill battle and no one really knew the best thing to do for any one situation. Every day you learned something new. She missed her kids, she wished they could be little again and hadn’t faced all the cruel things in the world yet. She tried not to think of how Edgar was on his own, it scared her to think that her babies were nearly adults.
“I know they will be fine. I just wanted their teen years not to be like mine but it seems the odds are against that. Every day I hope that they won’t have to go through a war like previous generations,” she sighed. She looked down at her bare hand. It hit her once again that there wasn’t a ring there, that Ernie wasn’t going to be home when she got home and that she had wasted so much of her life.
Susan tried to fight back the tears. She was glad she had her kids but wished it had been with someone else. Someone who’s love wouldn’t fade away. It was killing her slowly that she had waited so long to leave. It was going to be nearly impossible to find a man now.
“You know I got married and had kids like girls are supposed to do but yet it all got screwed up. I swore I loved him but yet over the years we just fell apart. I watched my oldest two kids make poor choices that I swore they knew better to do. It’s just hard right now because I’m trying to protect my youngest two and making sure that they will turn out better,” she said as her voice cracked a bit. Tears started to run down her cheeks she tried to wipe them away quickly as possible.
She wished she had her Auntie Amelia here now. She had screwed up so much over the years; she missed her hugs and her support. She was trying to handle everything with no support system. She hadn’t talked to most of her friends in years and most of her family was dead or dying.
by Susan Bones Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:18 am
