Forgotten Pain

Knockturn Alley was, in many ways, better than Diagon Alley would ever be. She'd gone to Diagon Alley walker that day for something that she'd needed, but seeing all those witches and wizards all happy and laughing made her sick. She couldn't even handle being around them without thinking of them as repulsive. She'd given up on looking for what she had gone there to get because whee couldn't handle being in the presense of those bloody idiots who thought life was a game.

She'd gone to Knockturn Alley instead. This place felt more like home to her than than that pathetic Diagon Alley. It wasn't possible that idiots like those there could even exist. But then again the proof had been right before ber and it made her sick. Someone needed to change that, cause terror and strike fear into their hearts. Only then would Diagon Alley come even close to being a wonderful place like Knockturn Alley.

Hitame didn't remember much about her past and at times she wondered if everything that was told to her was true. Was she really always like this? Having horrid thoughts like that? Could that really be how she was? Sophia had told her that she was like this and for some reason she believed she could trust Sophia, even though she didn't even remember who she was. She didn't remember if Sophia was a good person or if she was a bad person. But she'd been 'helping' her regain her memories -- corrupt memories of her always being an evil person and not a good one like she truly was -- and that showed her that Sophia had always been on her side. Even before she'd lost her memories.

She didn't want to keep thinking about that though. She didn't want to start doubting Sophia, who was the only one who had been helping her regain those lost memories. The thirteen year old girl continued to walk down Knockturn Alley when she came across a rather dirty, portly man who was asking for some money. Hitame smirked, her now rather lifeless eyes narrowing at him. She took a galleon out of her pocket and showed it to him. "Want this?" she asked calmly.

He nodded and said, "Yes. Please let me have it." his face was so dirty it was almost black from the filth.

"I don't think so." she said as a frown crossed her face. She closed her fingers over the galleon and looked at the man with a serious expression. "Now, go away before I hex you and make you cry for your mum." she added.

"But you're a little girl, you can't use magic outside of school." he said, feeling a bit sure of himself. Hitame smirked and pulled out her wand.

"And you think that's going to stop me?" she raised an eyebrow at him, raising her wand to be just below his chin as she looked at him. He shook his head, his confidence suddenly gone and when she pulled her wand away from his chin, he slide down the wall he'd been leaning against and he watched her walk away with widened eyes. Hitame laughed softly as she walked away, it was amazing that a thirteen year old could cause a grown man to be scared of her. But she preferred it that way than for it to be vice versa.

Alex came to Diagon Alley to get some things before school started up, but had found something that caught his interest. It was Hitame but she seemed different somehow, he didn't know. Maybe he was just over thinking things, he would like to talk to her again and followed her. But she made a turn into Knockturn alley? now something was up for sure....he didn't know Hitame that well but this was something she would never do.

He clenched his fist as he didn't know what to do, follow or just finish his errands. Slamming his fist into a near by wall, he cursed under his breathe and followed behind her. Making sure to catch her when there are no people around, he wanted to talk to her alone. Turning corner, after corner and finally stopping to watch her do something Bad.

A old man, who was very dirty, covered pitch black in dirt was there. He was about to come in and help Hitame but it seems she was tormenting him. She even pulled out her wand to his neck, threatening to hex him even if it is against the rules. He was in shock that she could even do that, it was strange and was like she was a entirely different person. " What the hell " He said to himself as he watched her walk away.

He made sure his wand was on him, before he decided to follow her again. He would still wait to see, if she was going to do anything else. Thinking this was all a dream, or something else.....he hated every moment of it.

Since she entered Knockturn Alley, she had the feeling that someone was following her. But she assumed it was just an effect of being in a place like Knockturn. She didn't mind it anyways, if she was going to spend any amount of time there, she had to get used to any kind of feeling it caused to stir inside her. She wasn't afraid of this place, and from what she heard she had never been afraid of it.

It was just a pity that such pitiful people hung around there. A place like this deserved to be inhabited by others who were much more deserving of it. But to be honest, she wouldn't change it from the way it was. As she walked further into the alley, it seemed the street was being replaced by children instead of adults. She winced as she saw all the little kids running around, barefooted and with rags for clothes.

Whether she realized it or not, that was the reaction of the old forgotten Hitame toward the children. A glimpse of light passed in her nearly lifeless eyes as she looked at all the children. She couldn't stand seeing them like that, but she couldn't do anything to change that now. Not that she even wanted to. The light that was in her eyes quickly faded and she stared down the alley with a neutral expression and lifeless eyes. A little boy came toward her chasing a ball he'd been playing with, that had hit her ankle.

She lifted the ball up and when the boy asked for it back she responded with a simple, "No." and she dug her nails into the ball, popping it. The boy stared at the popped ball in her hand as she turned her hand to face the ground and she let go of the ball. "Go away." she warned the boy as he was about to say something to her about popping his ball. "Now." she said in a dangerous tone and held her wand on her hand. The boy stared at her wand and he suddenly became very scared of her. He took a few steps back before turning around completely and running off to avoid getting hit by a spell from her.

"Pathetic." she hissed under her breath. "They're all a bunch of spineless weaklings." she added.

The feeling that she was being followed grew stronger as she passed the children and ended up in a more desolate part of Knockturn Alley. Without turning around Hitame said, "You know, it's not very nice - or smart - to be following a girl around Knockturn Alley." to whoever was following her and she turned around to face whoever it was with narrowed lifeless eyes, and her wand in her hand.

The area seemed to be filled with children, poor ones anyway. It was a sad sight for him, but he couldn't help them because they weren't his. His eyes would travel over to them, then to Hitame as she picked up a ball for a child. It seems she was being nice, until she popped the ball in her hand......well that was charming.

Then pulled the wand on the poor kid, as most of them ran away. This was getting really intense to just watch. Passing house by house, as everything looked so bland and tedious. He decided to be end his stalking, and pulled out his wand. Moving closer behind hitame, only to stop at her words they sounded emotionless.

When she turned around he was about eight feet away from her, in the dirty and lonesome place. Only him and her were there, wands pointed at each other like a showdown. But he only did it out of safety, because something was very off about Hitame. He thought of what to say but her eyes spoke to him, they were lifeless like she was a entirely different person.

He felt his heart pumping in his chest, as Hitame would turn to him, his eyes narrowed like a cat and looking sadly at her. " It isn't smart for a girl to be walking in Knockturn alley by herself, Hitame. What are you doing here, this place was never your cup of tea " speaking a blunt tone to her, as a way to see if his hunch was right or has he gone crazy.

Hitame looked down at the ground as she heard his words, like she had regretted something. But soon a soft chuckle could be heard from her, a chuckle that quickly turned into a cold and lifeless laughter as she lifted her head to look at him. Her laughter stopped with an echo carrying off a little longer in the vacant place where they stood. A smirk was on her lips as she stared at him with lifeless eyes.

"What do you know about me? There are plenty of things a lot of people don't know about me, and certainly do not know much." she told him, he smirk turning into a frown. She didn't remember who she was, and without those memories she had no way of telling if what she said to him was true of not, but she wasn't going to allow anyone to make her think that she is not who she believes she was now.

She trusted Sophia. She trusted the older girl to be telling her the truth about who she was. And she wasn't going to let anyone undo anything Sophia had done, she wasn't going to allow anyone to make her doubt who Sophia said she was. From what the older girl had told her, it seemed obvious that she had not known about her meeting with his boy, because Sophia would have told her about him. Her narrowed eyes looked him over and her smirk came back.

"A Slytherin." she raised an eyebrow as she muttered those words to herself. "You're a pathetic excuse for a Slytherin." she said loud enough for him. She imagined that she had said this to him before, after all it did seem true. No matter how anyone looked at him, it seemed that he really was a poor excuse for a Slytherin. Maybe saying this would get him off her back and she could just leave. Or it could make things worse ... She hoped it was the first.

Alex had tried to read her expressions, trying to figure her out but he came up with nothing. She was acting like a whole different person, and now she was laughing like she was mad. Frowning at her smirk, and now even more confused by her next set of words. Asking about herself, if he knew anything about her at all but then saying that this was her true self.

" I suppose, I can share what I know about you. Because I want to, your a pain in the arse alots of times. You dislike people who fight with you, and anyone that tries to harm your sister. Even going as far to threaten people, but even after all that you have another side that you don't show to people, it's caring " He spoke about the first time they met, and how she had stayed with him, and helped him through things....she was the reason he changed, but even he didn't know it himself.

He didn't know what would happen now, but really this must be a bad dream. Looking over Hitame figure from head to top, she has grown more beautiful over the summer. But thinking that in his head was a bad idea, he blushed because of his error. And she would be able to notice, but it would fade as she called him Pathetic excuse for a slytherin.

He started to laugh at her saying that, it was nothing new to him. She was right, he may be one of the worst Slytherin's, in the history of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Feeling brave even with Hitame acting different, taking steps towards her as he made sure he had his wand ready for anything.She may think he is a Pathetic Excuse for a slytherin, but when the time comes, he was the worst enemy anyone can have. " And let me guess, that makes you a indecent Gryffindor doesn't it " Glaring at her, as he would stroll cover to her wanting to tower over her.

"Now that's where you're wrong." she said in a low tone. "That caring crap, all that shit you just said, how do you know it's not an act?" she raised an eyebrow at him. "You can never know how someone is, unless you're that person. Sometimes even that same person doesn't know who they actually are." she told him. "That just proves you don't know anything. You just want to be a smartass." she frowned slightly and scoffed at him.

Maybe she was caring ... maybe she was all that he said, but even if she was before, she wasn't like that anymore. And to be honest she had no intention of going back to that pathetic and weak girl she supposedly was. Sophia had told her that if she just let go, she could be stronger. But with all these people that showed up, including the boy standing before her, she wasn't sure she'd ever be allowed to just let go of the past.

What he said about her being an indecent Gryffindor made her smirk. She looked up at him slightly, her smirk showing so that it could be clearly viewed by him. "Maybe it does. I don't care what the hell you think that makes me." she told him. Hitamé could tell that he was trying to tower over her to intimidate her, but it wasn't working. He obviously didn't know who he was dealing with anymore. "You don't scare me." she hissed at him.

Alex just looked at her, pondering her words in his head. She always tried to make sense, but her change was very different. The words she spoke made little sense to him, like she was just a broken record that said the same thing over and over again. She expected to taunt or make him leave her with these words, but they were not even tempting him at all. He remember something she told him back, when they first met at the lake.

" Everyone has some kind of darkness within them, something they don't want anyone else to find out about. You once told me that a year ago, and I found out that you were right. Everyone else has a other side, deep down but that doesn't make your caring side a fake just another facade just like the way you are acting now. I know what I saw inside of you, even if you think that I don't.....I've seen it with my own eyes "

Alex looked at down at her, he seemed to get taller this year and was so close to Hitame. He could feel her body heat from being so close, and only smiled at her. " who ever said I was trying to frighten you? " Her actions only brought him to remember the first time he started to notice her, they were in the position they were in now. " Your really beautiful, you have grown since we last met last year, or have you forgotten about me because you don't see me for most of the year " He brought his hand up to her face, slowly as he wanted to caress her face and his eyes looked straight into hers like he could see right through her.

Hitamé's eyes narrowed as she looked at Alex. His words sounded a bit familiar but she refused to acknowledge that she had said that at some point. Her excuse was good to, she didn't remember if she said that. She just stared at him, her head beginning to hurt from the words he said. She knew that meant that she probably did say that, but she wasn't going to say she remembered.

"Whatever." she said coldly. "You don't know anything about me. No matter how much you think you do." she added just as coldly. She listened to what he said, her eyes seemingly narrowing further than they already were and she slapped his hand away when he brought it up to her face. "Don't touch me." she hissed, digging her nails into his hand before letting it go and letting her own hands fall to her sides.

She wanted him to go away. Couldn't be understand that? She wanted him and anyone else that could cause her to hurt the way she was hurting now to go away. She didn't want those memories that were trying to come back to come and make her hurt so much. Hitamé knew that they were painful memories, she could tell by the pain that was now surging through her head, memories that were fighting to come back to her but that shewouldnt allow to come back.

Alex looked at her, taking in how she looked at him, even her words were like a knife to the heart. It was like she didn't know him at all, or was she trying to forget about him. Taking on the world as it was, he had to push forward even if she was telling him to leave her alone. His hands were about to make it to her face, but she dug her nails into his hand. Grasping in pain, that surged through him and even broke his skin, with small trails of blood dripping form his hand now. But as Hitame would drop her hand to the side, his hand would grabbed her free hand trying to get her to acknowledge him.

" What the hell is your problem, it's like you don't even know me. At one time you cared to touch me, because I decided to leave. You use to have pride, but now you act like a Slytherin. It's like you lost everything you ever were over the summer....what happened to you? "

He got in her personal space, as he was still acting like his caring self. It was his weakness that always made him weak, but he needed to learn to be stronger. If he ever wanted to be the new clan leader, and take over the family business.