This'll Stop 'Em for Sure!

Jack apparated her friend and herself to her old home in Ireland. It was strange that her family had settled her; her parents having lived in London their whole lives, relocated to America for Jack’s birth, and then moving to Ireland when she was around seven. Jack should have been a very culturally confused child, but Jack had hardly noticed. It had always been chasing business, and Jack had always been chasing trouble, which was a universal commodity. Where she lived, had never mattered.

But for nine years, she had lived in this home. She had apparated them to the end of her street and she saw that her father’s car was in the driveway. Good. She released Poe and motioned him to follow. She folded up the letter and photo and slipped it into her pocket, shifting the knapsack higher on her back. She pointed at the bottle and was going to tell Poe to get rid of it, when she realized it only helped her case. She dropped her hand and blinked, saying, “You’ll want to get more of that in your system.”

She walked up the steps of her childhood home and looked back at Poe, saying, “You know that whole ‘I’m an Auror so you can’t get rid of me?’ That doesn’t matter here.” She smirked, unable to help but psych him out a tad. She looked back at the door and felt a lump rise in her throat suddenly. For a moment or two, she stared at the door, thinking the best option would be to act as if she had never received the letter at all. But her father had reached out. He had wanted to speak to her. He had thought of her, defied his wife. Jack sighed a long sigh and reached out, knocking the knocker thrice.

**

Nemo stumbled, narrowly avoiding the simultaneous collapse of his stomach and his knees. "WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO APPARATE?! A ROLLER COASTER?!" He shouted as he fought with desperation against the vertigo that had been inflicted upon his being by Jack's abrupt transportation. He straightened himself and scuffled along behind her, despite the arguments of his dizzied head. And through a pocket in his jacket he fumbled for a joint, deciding it the appropriate cure for his sudden bout of nausea. "This is your fault, you know," He informed Jack against the mouth of his bottle in an attempt to balance the beverage as his search for the drug continued. "I get to apparate next time. Jeeze. I feel like you stole my stomach," he mumbled, tilting his head back to drain the last of his drink without the use of his hands.

With no thought or hesitation, Nemo spat the emptied glass to the lawn, "You have any more?" He inquired in response to having been told to proceed to intoxicate himself. "Oh - aha!" Nemo cheered with a proud and victorious pump of his fist as he produced from his outerwear the object of his efforts, and with an eager grin he welcomed the spliff between his lips. "McDonald!" He called after Jack as he absently climbed the stairs of her porch, "Gotta light?"

Jack said in a diplomatic voice, "I wasn't the one who filled my liver with alcohol today, now was I? It was smooth sailing for me." She smiled and noted his assertions that he would be in charge of the transportation the next time. She would not protest, for there was little reason too. "Sorry mate," was all she could say when he asked for more drink. Usually, Jack relied on him to supply all of the alcohol for the two of them- she just bought the end of the week drinks.

She could hear steps on the other side and it was when her father opened the door that Poe asked for a light. She quickly spun around and widened her eyes, shaking her head just a little bit. On one hand, she wanted them to disapprove of her lifestyle and keep the kid. On the other hand, she did not need major meddling. She mouthed 'later' and then added a 'please?' for good measure, quickly turning to her father.

"Hi... Dad," she said lamely. The older gentleman looked over at Poe and then at his daughter. "I got your letter," she added. "And, well, it's been a year since... Yeah." She looked back at Poe. "This is my friend P- Mortimer."

Her father looked between them and then nodded to Poe, apparently more nervous to shake his hand than to shake the hand of a werewolf as he previously had. "Nice to meet you," he said, his voice full of reservations. When he looked at Jack, however, there was a tiny touch of tenderness in his eyes. "I wasn't expecting... Your mother... But come in, it's dark outside."

Jack walked in and looked back at Poe, making sure he hadn't lost faith in her yet. She looked forward and her father motioned towards the sitting room. Jack led her way to the two-seater couch, motioning Poe to sit with her. Her father disappeared quickly into the kitchen and she could hear him speaking, presumably to her mother. Suddenly-

"WHAT?!"

Jack cringed and looked at Poe. "This is when it gets fun," she muttered.

The arrival of Mr. Clown had surprised Nemo to such an extent as to paralyze his previously smiling lips, which had a moment prior held in place the drug that he had been so determined to smoke, but served little purpose other than to gape at the man before him when limp. Thus, the joint fell as Nemo stared; as he witnessed the otherworldly occurrence that was Jack Dyllan's utterance of the word that confirmed that they had indeed arrived at her family home. 'Dad?' Nemo mouthed in reply to Jack's 'Please?'. Where was the resemblance? The vibrantly colored locks? The madness in his eyes? Nemo had been thoroughly disappointed.

"PuhMortimer. It's a family name," He nodded alongside Jack as he offered a hand for Mr. Clown to shake - which he quickly retracted when it dawned on him that he would not be receiving a warm welcome from him. And in a deliberately awkward gesture, one which Nemo had intended for the father to notice, Nemo slid his hand down his side and stowed it away in his pocket, as though hurt by the man's behavior.

Only when Mr. Clown had retreated into the house did Nemo retrieve his fallen joint, per Jack's request; the likes of whom Nemo cast a reassuring nod that spoke the words that he would not, 'I'm not leaving. So stop looking at me like I'm gonna vanish.' He straightened, and with mild reluctance he pocketed his drug.

In an uncharacteristically obedient fashion, for he had grown too curious to hurl at Jack any of his usual quips, Nemo stepped over the threshold and slammed the door shut behind him with the heel of his boot. Immediately upon entering the household his eyes darted about in search of the humiliating family photographs; the height markings on the wall that proved Jack had always been short; the drawings Jack had scribbled during adolescence - to no avail. He furrowed his brow. Where was the past that she had left behind? Nemo had always assumed that Jack had lived as ordinary a childhood as any; a guess which he was beginning to believe had been entirely wrong.

Nemo fell heavily on the sofa after Jack, lying his head atop her lap as he stretched out, leaving his boots to dangle off of the opposite of the couch's arms. "I'm gonna hurl, McDonald" he warned her as he stared up at the ceiling. He believed it would do him good to remain still. If he could just... stay... still - "WHAT?!" Nemo's body flinched on its own accord, eliciting from him a sickened groan.

Poe collapsed on top of her, resting his head on her lap and informed her of the worst possible thing-to defile the floors. Her father was the only one who would possibly be okay with Poe and not insist that Jack’s life had gone to hell, and he was the only one who had an opinion that sort of mattered to her. Her father had broken himself to be a man of strength locked inside of a man of obligation. But he was the clean one in the house. Sick all over the carpet would guarantee he could never accept Poe for anything other than a discipline case.

She hurried a hand into her knapsack and withdrew a vial she had recently acquainted Poe with, hoping they would get into an intimate relationship. The potion relieved nasuea, but the trick was getting in his system before the vomit got out. She handed it over and ruffled his hair, saying, “Hang in there. I can’t guarantee you will make it out alive if you puke on the carpet.”

She looked up, preparing for the worst- and The Worst entered in all her glory- tight yoga pants that were starting to betray the fact that pilates didn’t keep away age, what Jack considered to be an old lady sweater, and her hair crazed. This woman almost looked like Jack- but a Jack who had lived her life way to seriously and never cared for anyone but herself. Raelyn Dyllan was not a pretty woman because of her frown lines, but she had been.

“You? Again? And what, with one of your freak boyfriends, this one a drug addict!” Raelyn was already shrieking, unable to speak diplomatically with the daughter who had never been as normal as she had always hoped for.

“He’s not my boyfriend, and neither was Ari,” Jack said, trying to stay calm, but there was a bit of a bite in her voice. She was an adult now, so there was no need to bicker, but she knew she was not above stomping off to her room either. Jack suddenly realized she was going to have a fun time explaining to Poe who exactly this ‘boyfriend’-type person named Ari was. And he wouldn’t give up either.

“This is my friend Mortimer. He works in Law Enforcement in my world.”

Her dad’s eyes flitted towards Poe. “Really?” he asked, raising one eyebrow in a very Jack fashion. He nodded slightly, obviously a bit surprised and possible impressed. “Must be harder. Since I’m sure they can make handcuffs disappear, heh?”

“Greg!” Raelyn snapped. “Is this the time!?”

He shrugged, “Calm down, Rae. Jaquelle-” He stopped. “Jack?” he said, for the first time using the name she had always insisted on. He nodded at her, assuring her he was trying. “Jack came to visit us and she might be doing us a favor. Besides, she has brought a guest. We must treat him hospitably.”

"Alcoholic," Nemo distractedly corrected the howling woman as he ripped from the all too familiar vial its cork, "Not 'drug addict'. I only dabble in drugs." He began to siphon the sweetly flavored substance between parted lips, clacking the glass against his teeth in an attempt to force the remains to crawl down the vial's walls and meet him at its rim. A smirk accompanied the afterthought that had followed his introduction to Mrs. Clown, one which looked suspiciously similar to an expression of pride.

"Too late," Nemo whispered on an entirely different note against Jack's stomach as he turned his face, burying it in her flannel shirt. "It isn't working," He added for the sake of elaboration when his throat began to water in preparation for the eruption that would surely occur.

With mild reluctance, Nemo rolled to his previous position of lying flat atop Jack's lap, so to address Mrs. Clown with the gaze that he had denied her upon her entrance. And the sight with which he was greeted was one that he had not anticipated. An otherworldly aurora radiated from the woman's sweater whilst he cast his head off at a tilt and his stomach lurched. "Her sweater," Nemo informed Jack as he examined the article of clothing through the smokey film that often clouded Nemo's otherwise lively blues when a premonition struck. "Something is going to happen to her sweater," He predicted absently and proceeded to stare.

“Must be harder. Since I’m sure they can make handcuffs disappear, heh?”

Nemo awoke from his stupor with a jolt. "Huh?" He inquired as he slipped from the grip of his gift. "Oh - no," He replied with a slowly spreading grin. And in a motion which betrayed his mania, Nemo leapt from the sofa to stand before Mr. Clown. "No, we have something a bit different," He explained, withdrawing from a back pocket in his denims his Ministry issued handcuff. "No one 'll be getting out of these. They bind the wrists together and tighten whenever the wearer moves his hands. See that?" Nemo ran a digit along the dull blade that lined the inner side of the '8'-shaped cuff, drawing a small droplet of blood from the pad of his index finger. "It is designed to dig into the wearer's wrists with every motion they make, so to prevent them from escaping. Eventually, if they squirm enough, it will cut through each layer of skin, giving him a potentially fatal wound." Nemo pocketed the cuff and enveloped his stomach in his jacket clad arms, seemingly satisfied with his demonstration, before he gave an abrupt heave when his nausea overwhelmed him.

"McDonald!" He groaned for his companion before the inevitable occurred and Mrs. Clown's sweater was decorated in Nemo's earlier bottle of alcohol and a stolen bagel. “Fu-F***,” Nemo complained, peering upward through his lashes to examine the damage, “I knew I needed the weed.”

Jack was trying very hard not to be amused with her friend's comments. Poe was very talented at making Jack want to laugh at the worst times. The same problem had happened outside, and inside, the Minister's office and, yet, somehow she felt the consequences could be a little worse here in her own 'home.'

Yet, this was good. It was just enough, so far, that her parents would not forcibly remove her or disown her any further, but enough to where they would surely not trust her to take care of a child, of their granddaughter. Surely, Jack was proving herself responsible enough to survive, but too irresponsible to take care of anyone else.

Poe rolled closer, inciting more exclamations of indignation from Rae about the nerve Jack had for bringing this 'scruffy hobo' into her home where she tried to do her best. It was a load of bull, because Jack knew that the woman did none of the work around the house. Jack pleaded under her breath, "Hang in there."

Poe said something of her mom's sweater but then engaged in a conversation with her father. Jack felt a little skip in her heart to see her father attempting to bridge a gap. Her mother, on the other hand, scoffed and tried to interrupt throughout the entirety of Poe's demonstration, but Gregory would hear none of it. Jack felt triumph to see the power of her mother diminishing.

Poe had finished and Rae found her opening. "Well, I think this charade has gone on long enough. Neither of you are welcome here and the fact that you thought there would be no issue, Jaquellene, makes me absolutely sick!"

And her sweater was painted another color.

Jack lept off the couch, rushing to the woman that had spawned her, trying to catch her so as to clean off the sweater. Rae was dedicated to screaming the vomit off of her, though, and would hear nothing. Finally, Jack managed to send a spell towards the sweater, evaporating the vomit. Rae began to catch her breath and Jack heard laughter.

She turned to see her father had stumbled towards the couch where the sick had originated from and was holding himself up. He shook his head as his wife swelled, saying, "I'm sorry, honey, but you know my great love for irony!" With an indistinguishable screech she stormed away.

Jack ran her hands through her hair and her father calmed himself. He approached her and said, "Jack, I am glad you are here. And, don't tell your mum I said this, but I like him." He grinned at Poe. "The name's Gregory Dyllan." He held out a hand to him.

From his lips with the use of his sleeve, Nemo swept any potential remains as Jack and Mrs. Clown flew chaotically about him. But he hadn't eyes for the series of events that he had set into play, due to the vertigo that had followed suit. He leaned heavily against the nearest wall, resting his right temple against the stationary barrier with long, quivering breaths. "McDonald?" Nemo called softly to Jack as he beckoned towards her with the joint that he had withdrawn once more. He held the drug out towards her between two of his digits and cast a heavy lidded glance in her direction. “Please? I need to kick this thing’s ass before I upchuck my stomach.”

“Awesome,” Nemo replied to Mr. Clown’s compliment with a like smile, before taking a few steps towards the man, steadying himself with each stride. “Hard liquor and wizard transportation,” He explained to the other with an upward nod which expressed his irritation towards the circumstance. “- Mix about as well as - well, Mrs. Dyllan and I, for one,” Nemo deadpanned.

He accepted with a firm grasp the hand that Mr. Clown had offered him at last, "Wuzzup, Greg?" The process of introductions, however, was sped along with the jarring addition of the information that Nemo had obtained from the main upon bridging the physical gap. "A business man? Huh. I'll admit, I assumed you were a cop. Oh! Security - which explains the interest in cuffs." They were not questions, but rather a run-through of what Nemo had found in his unintentional reading of the man; statements which evidently did not strike Nemo as something to be kept to oneself whilst in the presence of a muggle.

Jack saw Poe beckon to her and she tripped towards him, still a bit dizzy from clinging to her mother's sleeve as the woman ran circles around her. She was still trying to right herself, and the world around her, when she reached him, realizing he had procured a joint. Jack was typically wary about drugs but she had seen the hell that was Poe's memories. If anyone had a right, he did.

He told her his dilemma and she nodded. "Yeah, we'll go. I think they figured out that we're not ready to be parents." She smirked at her own joke and then tried to fix herself up to look serious, for her father was approaching. It baffled her that her quiet, unimposing father was the one so interested in the wacky mess that was her life. Of all of them, he seemed the least equipped. And yet... approval.

Jack watched them and shook her head in wonder. Her father was also a little shocked by Poe's assertions and Jack accredited her friend's knowledge to his abilities. Her father turned to her and said, "You talk about my business with your friend?" He smiled. "You need anything, Jack, send me one of those bird-mail letters, alright?" He cleared his throat, saying, "Riley's not here, but I'll relay tonight's... show." A small twisted grin appeared on his face, one Jack had never seen. Was that where she had gotten it?

Her father looked at them and said, "Now, get out of here before your mother attacks you with the dustpan." Jack nodded and tugged Poe's arm to help him out, offering her shoulder for him to lean on if needed. She worked her way towards the door and only turned back to hear her father say, "Remember! If you need anything!"

The door closed behind them and Jack said, "They'd have to be daft to send the girl with us."

A series of poorly suppressed chuckles and snorts followed Jack's mocking declaration, to which Nemo responded in a similar fashion after calming himself. “Aww,” He feigned regret with a supplementary pout of his lips, from which his spliff dangled loosely, “I was so looking forward to giving the kid her first beer; bringing her in to work with me…”- a mortifying idea, due to the nature of Nemo’s occupation. But his present role as a man in mourning was laid to waste when his amusement resurfaced.

Nemo swiveled on the spot to throw Jack the mouthed words: ‘Bird-mail letters?’, eyebrows arched with amusement and diaphragm shaking with the hearty rumble of brewing laughter.

“Nice meeting you, man!” He bid Mr. Clown farewell over his shoulder as he was pulled hastily along by Jack’s firm grip; an occurrence which was increasing in frequency as time went on, it seemed. Nemo had grown quite accustomed to the insistent tug and had written it off as a habit that Jack had picked up during her extensive time spent amongst the magical creatures she tended after. She thinks I’m one of her hippogriffs, the idiot, Nemo noted inwardly with a playful shake of his head, which he then rested atop Jack’s shoulder when he spied the opportunity as they exited the stage that was Jack’s childhood home.

“And you said I wouldn’t make it out alive,” He spoke up smugly.