It had been much to Nemo’s surprise that, upon exiting the Ministry building, head whirring with thoughts of the processed-to-hell lunch that would surely feel welcome within his arteries amongst the cholesterol that already resided there, that the sun had risen during his twenty-four hour lapse into A blissful Unawareness of the world that existed beyond the walls of his office. It had been quite the rarity, to catch a glimpse of the fair weather skies during the winter months in London. But alas, the sun had arrived, swimming in an as-far-as-the-eye-can-see canvas of blue and white in all its sunshiny glory. To the fair flesh of the Londoners who scampered about the streets, drunk on their love of the light, the sun’s rays may have felt warm - perhaps even blistering. But the former Floridian could feel nothing but the shiver of a cool breeze that had been left behind during winter’s migration. While it was undeniably pleasant, the sight of a warmth that did not quite reach him in the way that it had his neighbors, a photograph would have been equally appealing. He did not dwell on such short-minded thoughts of the weather and its fickle behavior for long, however; his mind had drifted in the direction of a craving that had occurred to him at the sight of the celebration of the warmer season’s arrival. Nemo was in desperate need of a fruity-ass alcoholic beverage. Miniature umbrella included.
After giving his thinly layered jacket a tug closer to his being, so to protect himself from the island’s chill, Nemo set off at the pace of a man on a mission. Though his lively blue orbs danced throughout the crowds that continued to accumulate, retaining every twinkling smile and glint of sunlight that they spied, he had eyes only for the pub that remained only a number of feet between himself and the many small shops that stood in a row to his left. The rusting bell that hung from the pub’s doorway swung and rattled angrily as Nemo stepped indoors once more, alerting the familiar barman of his presence.
He had once been of an average stature, before time had taken its toll. With the curling and bending of his spine, he had fallen to the height of a man’s stomach; reducing him to a size that only just permitted him to see over the bar that he waited. As Nemo planted himself firmly on one of the stools that had been scattered throughout the dimly lit room, the barman’s head was all that was to be seen of him from across the way; with greasy tuffs of hair sprouting from his scalp, and a pair of rectangular spectacles balanced upon the very tip of his crooked nose. Nemo could do nothing to prevent the amused grin that routinely took control of his facial features at the sight of the man before him. He was quite a comical sight.
“Whadya payin’ me for?” the man inquired impatiently. He always had been rather unorthodoxly curt with his customers. “Give me something for the weather,” came Nemo’s reply, without missing a beat. “The weather? What’s it like?” The barman asked with the smallest quirk of his lips. It almost appeared as though he was wresting a smile. Nemo leaned against the bar’s splintering surface, resting his chin upon his loosely crumpled fist, “You Brits think it’s warm out. People are running around like it’s the last day of their lives,” he replied indifferently with a shrug; the laziest upward motion of his right shoulder blade. With no further questions asked, the man turned his hunched back towards Nemo and set to work, clanking bottles against one another with uncoordinated fingers. With every sharp crack of glass striking glass, Nemo flinched; he quite simply could not bear the thought of a good drink gone to waste. Not while it cost him every penny’s worth of his rent to quench his thirsts.
Upon acquiring his multi-colored and impossibly feminine beverage, Nemo produced the money owed from a pocket in his jeans and flicked it across the bar in the other man’s direction. Another month spent in his apartment in the Leaky Cauldron, drowned in a glass of alcohol. But Nemo’s careless expression did nothing to betray the fleeting thought of the likely results of his actions. “Thank you,” he called in a patronizingly sing-song voice as he stood once more, drink in hand, and moved towards the door.
He had yet to appease his howling stomach, which had begun to feel hollow with the introduction of the spirits that he had begun to gulp down as he walked. He slurped unattractively against the glass’ rim, and the lemon that was perched there slipped and slid with each step that he took, causing the fruit to knock repeatedly against his nose. But he continued in the direction of the nearest McDonalds, despite the difficulty that he was experiencing in his attempt to finish his drink. The fast food restaurant had been Nemo’s only savior from the unbearable food that all of Britain was fond of. A bacon cheeseburger was a comfort that Nemo would not have survived without, during the extensive amount of time that he’d spent away from home. The restaurant’s obnoxiously yellow sign stood out like a beacon amongst the foreign lands that Nemo walked – and yet, had become so familiar with over the years - drawing him forward with the promise of grease and ketchup.
As he entered the restaurant with a firm shove of his upper-arm against a swinging door, there was an absence of the tinkling that had greeted him when he had last entered a building. But the chirping of deep-fryers compensated for the door’s lack of noisy distractions. Immediately, he was greeted by the aggravated expression of a young man who undoubtedly desired to be elsewhere. “Welcome to McDonald’s. My name is Oscar, how may I-” The adolescent recited in a flat tone. “Oh, knock that off,” Nemo interrupted before he could continue in that manner. There was no sense in allowing the lad to rattle off the entire restaurant handbook. “Get me a double bacon cheeseburger,” he added with a grin that the teen had no intention of returning.
- - -
Grease-drenched paper bag and half-empty glass of alcohol held at his sides, Nemo stomped along in search of a place to sit down and enjoy his meal, for the inhabitants of the previous restaurant that he’d visited had not been so kind as to allow him to sit down and enjoy himself. On the contrary; they had insisted that he leave for the sake of the children who had littered the place, sticky fingers leaving streaks of condiments along the booths that they occupied. Nemo rounded the corner of a near building and grumbled to himself, “Yeah, sure, and I’m the one who needs to 'remove myself from the premises, or be removed by the police'." And it was with the punctuation of his complaints that Nemo found himself standing before the entrance of a dingy café; one which he quickly deemed a suiting place to “chow down”.
“Sir, you can’t eat that in here,” called the youthful voice of the female employee who stood behind the café’s main counter. “You cannot bring another business’ food in here,” she continued when Nemo paid her no mind. Only after he’d dropped his bag of lunch sloppily onto an unoccupied tabletop, and taken another swig from his drink did he turn his attention to the woman. He moved towards her, one arm swinging at his side while the other gently pinned his glass to his t-shirt clad chest. “Look, I wouldn’t have come in here,” he paused, so to look examine with a quick toss of his head the pastel and frill infected location, “I would have just eaten at McDonald’s, but the mother hens who were hanging out there kept insisting that I am presently high. And soon enough, the
manager pitched in and the
police were mentioned…” He told his tale in a tone of voice that suggested such occurrences were frequent and few between.
The employee was silent for a moment, before leaning forward, eyes brimming with curiosity. “
Are you high?” she asked, suddenly no longer accusing; merely interested. A grin split Nemo’s face in two in response to her question. “Only a lil’ bit,” he assured her, while simultaneously gesturing with his index finger and thumb, indicating just how under the influence he was claiming to be. "And this here" - he gave the glass a gentle twirl - "is vodka and something unbearably fruity. But it takes a hell of a lot more liquor than this" - another shake of his glass, this time with enough force to knock the soggy lemon into his drink with a plop - "to get me drunk." Another pause.
“Does this mean that I get to eat now?”