Bad News

Howl waited outside the Daily Prophet's office, scanning everyone who entered and exited carefully. He was, of course, loitering, but he didn't care about that; he had gotten in trouble for worse, after all. Finally, he spotted a wizard exit the office with a newspaper tucked under his arm, and he smirked a little. An easy mark... just what he was looking for. Howl walked in a nonchalant stride in a few different directions, positioning himself where he needed to be. Then, he started walking towards the wizard until he bumped into him. Howl muttered a quick apology to the wizard before continuing to walk nonchalantly in the same direction until he was near the Daily Prophet Office again but just far away enough to look like he was minding his own business. He took the copy of the Daily Prophet he just stole out of his robe. He liked to keep up on current events and political going-ons, but for obvious reasons (being very poor) he couldn't subscribe to the Daily Prophet himself. He began to read:
...
My dearest and loyal readers,
By now you must understand that my pink quill, beautiful and majestic though it is, can only scribble so fast and I fear I have been overworking the poor thing. However, I simply had to get this story out into the open. Merlin knows it wouldn’t have seen light of day without my keen detective ability. It was because of this talent that I managed to sniff out something [insert insanely annoying Umbridge-like giggle here] scandalous! By now you must all know about the upcoming events happening on the Pureblood calendar - Mudbloods Muggleborns and Half-Bloods simply have no excuse not to know because they’re the biggest events of the season!

This year, the first entrance into society the shy little chits will have will be in the house of hedonism itself: Krum Manor! Oh, I can’t wait to flirt with all of those boys and be whisked off of my feet by whichever dashing young chap would like to put my socks on for me for the rest of our lives. I’m sure the sex will be divine! But anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that it’s the first and quite possibly the most important event on the calendar this year and everybody upon everybody is invited! The Goyles, the Rookwoods, the Mulcibers -- you get the picture. Purebloods.

However, it was only after I did some snooping that I realised that many of the Purebloods based here in Britain will not be attending having come down with a ‘mysterious’ illness. Of course, being the FANTASTIC reporter I am, I did some further digging and found myself on the steps of Slug’s and Jigger’s Apothecary talking to a very nasally and no less hostile than usual, Alistair D’Eath who, fresh from Azkaban (and still as yet to return I might add), doesn’t seem to be at the peak of health. In fact, he seemed almost bored with my presence! Fancy that! The nerve of that boy! Gah! But never mind. I still got some fantastic quotes from him when inquiring as to business and to his health.

Me: So, Mr. D’Eath, how’s business?
Alistair: Booming, Whitehall, what’s it to you anyway?
Me: The Prophet prides itself on keeping an eye on all new businesses! It’s an important to the economy, after all.
Alistair: [snorts] I’m sure. Get lost, will you?
Me: You look quite peaky, Alistair. Why don’t you brew something and return to health?

And Alistair, who seems to be covered in little pockets where he’s picked at perhaps spots looks at me a little queerly before, and rudely I might add, slamming the door in my face. But he’s not the only one that seems to be afflicted by this mysterious illness! Yes, that’s right folks. You heard it here first. There seems to be a brewing epidemic on our hands and, interestingly enough, it seems to be affecting our Purebloods! Will the newly reinstated Minister save our heritage before it’s finally eradicated? Will he rightly dispose of the Mudblood scum that has polluted our bloodlines? It’s doubtful. The Muggle-loving blood traitor would rather see us all die first.

Lots of love sweetums’,

Drunella Whitehall. x
...

Howl finished reading the paper, his face paling. Crap, crap, crap... he thought. This wasn't good. If the illness going around was affecting only pure-bloods or people with wizarding in their blood rather (since he had noticed that there were several people who were sick that weren't pure-bloods) and NOT Muggleborns, then his secret could be discovered. He couldn't let ANYONE suspect that he might be a Muggleborn, all because he wasn't getting sick like everyone else. No, he'd just have to fake being sick and avoid going to the hospital wing and any Healers, so that no one could discover that he was faking it. But how? He thought about it for a moment, flipping a page in the paper to read another article. There was the Curse of the Bogies... he actually knew how to do that curse, but it could make a person collapse if it was left untreated, and he DIDN'T know how to uncurse it. If he collapsed the curse would probably be discovered, and he wouldn't be considered one of those affected by the illness that was going around.

No, there were too many risks involved with trying to curse himself sick. There was the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes that had stuff that could help him fake sickness, but if he was caught buying something there (or actually, in his case trying to steal from the shop), then it might throw suspicion on him as well. No... He would have to use Muggle ways to fake his illness like he had used Muggle ways to make himself look (and act) like a completely different person than Richie Young. He already had two things in his favor, actually. The dark circles under his eyes always made it look like he was worn down, and the hoarseness of his voice always made it sound like there was something wrong with his throat, anyway. He just needed to add a few things more... maybe he could find some chalk to smear all over his face to make himself pale and if he really bundled up (using an excuse that he felt chilly), he could make himself look sweaty and clammy... another sign of illness. A lot of people were sniffling... hmm... how could he make his nose runny? Maybe if he found some highly allergenic flowers...