Holy Macerol!

"Well, um, honestly, I don't know. After that day, we just saw less and less of each other. I don't know. I wish we stayed friends that day, but we didn't..."

Jack scratched his chin, thinking hard. He could barely remember anything that happened between them. There hadn't been that much. They had seen each other every once in a while in the common room or on the train or such, but that was virtually it. Last year was really the only year they connected. He missed that year. And now it was all gone in one accident. Him and Ceci would have to start from scratch in their friendship. He sighed, then turned to look at her.

"The only times we really stopped and actually talked were either on the train or in the common room when we saw each other, which was rarely."

"Oh, I see," Cecilia said she looked down at her hand that rested in her lap then back up at him, "what did you say your name was again? You obviously know mine but yeah," she laughed slightly then looked away. It was frustrateing not being able to remember the past year. It upset her when she tried to remember and couldn't. She wanted to remember so badly but she never could. "We were obviously friends at some point. Want to tell me how we reconected?" She asked standing up she moved over and took his hand pulling him over to the small couch infront of the fire. Cec sat down pulling him down next to her. The six teen year old girl sat faceing him her back aginst the arm rest and her legs curled up so that her feet rested beside her. "Please tell me all of the good stuff that you remember, not the stuff my family doesn't want me to remember."
Cecilia had noticed how he found her lack of memory upsetting but for a different reason. She didn't thing upset was a good look for him. then she started to wonder what he would look like in one of her many clothing desines that she drew but never brought to life because she couldn't find a guy to wear them. she looked at her nails a slight smile on her face as she thought about and waited for him to tell her everything he could.

Jack followed silently, a small smirk pushing the corners of his mouth upwards. He went along with Cecilia, and landed on the couch, sitting across from her. He sat his right leg up so it was resting on the couch, while the other one was on the ground. He sat facing Cecilia, his memory buzzing through their first encounter.

"Well.. We were both riding our brooms at the same time in the quidditch field. I think I bumped into you, and you got mad. After we argued for, like, a minute or so, we made up, and we agreed to go back up to the common room. After a little bit, we sat close by the fire... Holding hands... and then after I refused to change you threatened to change me... and Then after that It was, like, midnight, so we said good-night... That was the first time we reconnected..."

He sighed, looking up at Cecilia after replaying that memory in his mind. He looked right into her eyes, and a warmth spread through his body.

"And my names Jack. Jack Kubin."

"How was i going to change you?" Cecilia asked smileing slightly after he finished telling his story. "and its nice to meet you again Mr. Kubin," her eyes hadn't left him as he talked and now she looked at the fire, "from the way your said it i sounded like a B**** that day. i don't think we should have argued because you bumped into me while i was flying. well unless i was like a hundred feet in the air and the fall could have killed me." she watched the flames as she talked, "What do you think? was i a B****?" she looked back over at him. "Is my family wrong in not telling me about the past year? Am i wrong in not wanting to know what i did to scare them?"
she pulled her knees up and huged them to her. "Am I stupid for kind of not wanting to know?" she lay her chin on her knees.

At that, Jack pushed himself closer to Cecilia. She just seemed to be trying to put herself down. He sighed, and rested his arm on the couch's top. He ran his hand through his hair, and looked at Cecilia hard.

"No, you weren't a B****. You weren't even close to one in my book. I bumped into you, and you almost crash landed. You had a right to yell at me."

He sighed as she asked that question. It seemed complicated. All this was really a point of view. Jack thought for a moment, thinking about everything he had seen of Cecilia that year. He didn't think that she was scary in the slightest. He scratched his chin, then looked at her.

"No, you're not stupid. Everyone gets to think what they want, and have choices. Because you don't want to know how you were last year, is entirely your choice. And I think your family is wrong. They shouldn't keep who you were a secret from you."

“Well I had to have done something that upset them,” Cecilia said quietly, “Part of me wants to know what I did that was so bad and the other part of me says it’s better that I do not know ever. Part of me feels that if I knew what I did that I wouldn’t do it again, and the other part of me thinks that it’s better that I don’t know.” She looked up at him then over at the fire. “Which part of me is right?” She asked mainly herself then she looked back up at Jack “I’m still sorry for the way I acted that day, Mr. Kubin.” Cecilia was supposed to be the smart one but right now she was just confused. She didn’t know what to think and that left her feel venerable. “In some ways I think this me is better for everyone. Now I can’t do anything to hurt anyone or myself. I can’t do anything that will scare them.” She spoke in a soft and quiet voice. It was obvious that she didn’t know what to think or what to do. “Do you know what I did that was so bad? I don’t even know what happened just before I blacked out. I can’t remember what I was doing.”

Jack scratched his chin, now slowly edging himself closer to Cecilia. He thought for a moment. She was having doubts about losing her memory, and was wanting it back, but not wanting it. She had indecision about wanting to know herself from last year.

"I think whatever you choose, will end up being the best for you..."

Jack said quietly. He looked down at his lap, thinking hard. If she wanted her memory back, Jack could easily do that, he just needed something to trigger her memory from last year. He sighed, then looked up at Cecilia, his mind racing. Jack scratched his elbow, then his eyes looked into hers.

"I promise you, if I knew what you did, I would tell you..."

“What if I decide I don’t want to know and then I end up doing the something again and I don’t only scare my family but hurt someone? Oh what if I decide I want to know and then I hate myself for doing so in the first place and hate myself for the rest of my life, or worse? But if I knew what I had done I could make sure I never did so again.” Cecilia was confused and she was trying to talk herself out of wanting to know but at the same time she was trying to talk herself into remembering. She didn’t know what she wanted and she was scared to know what she wanted. “What if I didn’t want to know? Would you still tell me?” she looked up at him though her eye lashes.
Something about Jack had made Cecilia feel comfortable enough to open up to him. This was the first time she had spoken aloud about her doubt. This combined with how close she was allowing Jack to be confused her even more. Why was she so comforted by him? What had happened in their past?

Jack sighed. The conversation was beginning to get saddening. He couldn't think of anything to tell her. So he just looked at her, and raised his hand, placing it gently on her shoulder. His eyes glinted with a soft carefulness, and gentleness you may not see very often.

"I'm sure whatever you do, it will end up being a good choice. You have my assurance on that."

Jack locked eyes with her, his smile small, but genuine. He couldn't think of what to tell her, but he hoped his words were right, and they would fill her with hope, at least. He didn't think whatever she did was bad, if she even did anything wrong. If her family was acting fearful around her, they were over-reacting Cecilia wouldn't hurt a fly. She didn't have the heart. He would sit their, his hand on her shoulder, his smile glowing, as did his eyes.

“Anyway,” Cecilia said shaking her head as if to shake the thoughts away sending them to the back of her head. “What do you want to talk about?” she asked a slight smile forming and spreading across her face. “Would you mind telling me why you greeted me with such enthusiasm just a little bit ago? That along with the fact I didn’t recognize you kind of scared me. You looked like a child who had been missing their favorite toy and just found it.” She giggled at the mental picture it gave her.
She scrunched up her face in thought and peered at him though squinted eyes. “I say that it’s you liked me a lot more than just a distance friend. But I’m not completely sure… Or maybe I’m your only friend… Is that it? No, I don’t think so…” she thought aloud and giggled some more.