all the pain is here... I can't hide it

The same scene of Felix digging his knife into her stomache kept replaying and replaying in her mind as she lay there curled up and tears now streaming from her tightly shut eyes. She had begun to make the same high-pitched gasping noise that she had made while Barker tortured her again, and this time she did nothing to stop it. She wasn't being tortured now, and she didn't have to worry about Barker hurting her again while she cried. Anyways right now all she could do was cry, she wasn't strong enough anymore, or confident enough to hide her emotions as well as she could before everything happened to her.

Suddenly the pain divided. It stayed in her stomache but at the same time it went up to her head. Painful images from her muggle past played in her mind, and she let out another scream, this time it was stronger, and she cried harder. Her adoptive mother and father appeared in her memories so often, and this time they weren't there. All she saw was darkness, and all she heard were the screams of her father, telling her to run away with Naomi. The last thing she heard was the thud her father's body made as it hit the ground, limp... dead.

Hitame couldn't hear anything Brian was saying to her. In fact she had forgotten that he was there, and she was enclosed in her memories for a while. Until she felt a hand on her back that was. Her eyes flew open and widened as she thought that the one who was touching her was Felix. She flinched and slowly turned her head to face who she thought was him. But instead she saw Brian and she was so relieved. Her tears began again and she threw her arms over him, forgetting everything and she just cried.

Everything that happened to her was so rough and it wasn't just changing her life, it was changing her. She didn't know what to do anymore, who to trust, nothing. She just wanted to distance herself from everyone and everything. But right now that was the last thing she wanted to do, she wanted to have someone with her now. It wasn't fair that she had to face everything alone, and she couldn't involve Naomi in it... Her life was on the line if she did or said anything to anyone...

He did not know how to react when she embraced him. He knew it was because she was scared, he knew that, but for some reason it made him feel completely strange. Weird sensations rushed through him when she hugged him and he could not even hug her back at first. His stomach seemed to drop out from him and he felt his face flush very red. He just kneeled there, staring straight ahead, completely unsure what to do.

Then his instincts kicked in and he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. He did not know what was wrong with her, but he did not care really, if she needed him he would be there for her. He was good at that anyways, being there for people. He wanted the hug to last forever, but he knew that couldn't happen.

"It's OK." He said softly, slowly rubbing her back and rocking back and forth as they embraced. He was still at a loss for what to say, but he did not say anything, he just let her cry on his shoulder for as long as she wanted to. "If you want to talk about anything, I will listen. If anything, I am great at listening."

More tears were spilling out or her eyes and they were rolling down her face, but Hitame just let them fall. She was tired of acting tough for everything, she didn't want to do it anymore. She wanted to be normal, to be able to act her age, but she couldn't. Naomi needed her to be that way, and she wasn't going to let her little sister down. She kept her embrace of Brian and lowered her head to his shoulder, silently weeping on his shoulder. She was shaking and she couldn't stop it. Her shaking was getting uncontrollable and she began to make a gasping sound along with the tears that were falling.

When he hugged her back tightly, she began to calm down but her shaking continued. She sniffled and gasped softly as she calmed down, her head still on his shoulder and her arms still around his neck. When she was calm enough to realized what she was actually doing, she flinched at Brian's embrace. But it felt... good... actually. She closed her eyes for a moment and let him keep his embrace of her. "No..." she told him softly, her eyes opened again, and she looked up at him through her bangs.

"No... everything's not okay..." she told him, forgetting for a moment that she couldn't tell him anything. When he said that if she needed to talk about it he would listen, something in her mind clicked into place, and she froze, but she didn't move from her position. "I'm sorry... I can't tell you anything..." she said softly, hoping he would understand.