Dreamtrees

Robert had gotten Chase successfully admitted to the psych unit of St. Mungos. He had summoned a powerful anti psychotic potion to provide her some relief. The worst part about that, he knew, was that, during the time periods that she had clear thinking, she would not want to be here. And then, when the potion wore off, the paranoia might well return, including those odd dreamtrees when she slept. He hoped that the potion would allow her to get some restful sleep.

For now, he needed her to wake. He waited until he had given her a very heavy dose of the powerful anti psychotic potion, one tiny drop at a time until he was satisfied. He waited until he was sure that the potion had had more than enough time to set in. And he'd had Angus send the stuffed cat from Khaat and Brian's house. He was willing to let her have it if it brought her some comfort.

Finally, he flicked his wand at her to stop the deep sleep spell he'd cast over her, so that she could wake.

Chase sat in her tree lined prison cell. Horrified, but even in her dreams she was out of tears. So she sobbed anyway, tearless, terrified, and alone. The world felt like it was spinning, and somewhere in Chase's mind she knew her body was being moved. Rocking back and forth, she couldn't help but see Calvin's face in her head, staring at her, willing her to get better.. but the terror siezed her, made her it's victim.. chocked and threw her mind around like a rag doll. In her forced sleep, Chase was taken back to Barker's cell, where she relived each and every scar, one by one, over, and over, and over. Listened to his sounds of sympathy, sometimes even saying he was sorry, and that he had to trust that this was what she deserved.. .she listened to them over and over again, for what felt like eternity.

But suddenly, something woke her up, and she lay panting on a bed that was not her own, staring up at a ceiling she didn't know... dressed in something that wasn't hers. But something was different. She no longer felt panicky.. or upset, she felt like herself for the first time all day, and she slowly sat up, putting her hand to her head, and looking around. "Mr... Mr. Lupin?" She whispered, her voice hoarse, her eyes stinging, "Where am I?" She asked, looking around the unfamiliar room. Her mind was screaming at her to think sensibly now, but inside she was sobbing with fear, repressed fear. She was still in the trees... but she was herself on the outside. She felt a lot better. "Did I do something wrong?" She asked suddenly, her eyes on him, looking down and noticing a stuffed cat laying on the bed, she worked hard to figure out why it looked so familiar, but couldn't figure it out, suddenly she reached forward and pet it, and heard the purring. And she smiled. "For Katie... right?" She asked looking up at him, a grin on her face. "what's going on Mr. Lupin? Where am I?" She asked, curiously, completely herself, except for that dull, empty look in her eyes, which showed Robert quite plainly that she wasn't there at all.

"Chase," Robert said very gently, "You've been suffering a very long time from the thoughts that sometimes you can't get out of your head. They trap you sometimes. Its not healthy for you. It keeps you from being who you want to be and keeps you from living your life the way you want to. You're in St. Mungos. Its my hope to help you spend more time being out of all those terrifying and confused thoughts and spending more time with Kate and Calvin and being happy. It may take a bit of time, but we're going to work on getting you well. And yes, I want Calvin to see you as often as you are able to deal with him being here.

"My plan for you is good food, good quality sleep, and the potion that I've given you just now that's stopped all the terrible stuff in your head. Eventually, you'll find you have more and more of yourself back, and you can work on learning to deal with what's happened to you in a healthy way so that you can get back to that wonderful life you have with Calvin and Katie. We have to help you figure out the difference between what the truth is and what the lies are that you were told so that you know, for yourself, how to deal with some of the ugly things in your past. Does that make any sense at all?"

Chase listened to Robert, and frowned, surprised at what he was telling her. She couldn't remember any of it. She was in St. Mungos.. and from what he was saying, she must be in the psych ward... she was insane. Chase felt tears well up in her eyes, as she stared at him. "I'm crazy?" She asked, confused and scared now. She pulled her knees up to her chest, and stared at him. "I can't believe it..." She said softly, rubbing her temples and resting her head against her knees, which she had pulled up to her chest. "So... I got lost in... in what? My mind? And... I hurt Calvin did I?" She asked, and then frowned and put her fingers to her neck. Feeling the scratches she had made on herself. "And hurt myself.." She frowned and then looked at him.

"All I can remember is... terror... I was so afraid... It was the same as being with him... just... bone shaking fear, sobbing... panicked... terrified.." she said and shook her head. "I... can't remember what it is that was so scary... I remember... trees." She said slowly, and then frowned. "Mr. Lupin... I'm afraid... I still am... I feel pain, everywhere... and... I feel like I hurt Calvin.. I hurt him with my actions.. or my words.. or something.. I don't know what I did.. but I'm scared.. I don't want to go back to that.. I don't want to go back to the mind bending fear... are you going to fix me Mr. Lupin?" She asked looking up at him. "I don't want to be insane.. I don't want to go back to the trees." She said tears falling down her face. The terror was leaking through already, and she was starting to shake. Her eyes were dulled over even more, and she was starting to see the trees in her hurt eye again. "I can't see... I can't see out of this eye." She said touching her hurt eye, and frowning. "I see.... I see trees.. why am I seeing those trees?" She asked feeling terror scream through her veins. She could still remember herself, but she was terrified. "I've gone crazy.... I'm crazy... please help." She said looking up at him, her hair falling into her face again. The potion wasn't lasting very long, her eyes were starting to get the crazy look in her eyes again.

Robert walked over to her, laid his hand gently on her forehead and cast a powerful spell to cause peace and calm within her. The more upset she became, the more her symptoms escalated, he saw. And the more calm she was, the more her symptoms lessened. He wanted to talk to her, but he couldn't explain it to her until she returned to her calm state and was able to listen again. He could give more potion if he needed to, but he was hoping to use a combination of things to help her, not just one.

And, clearly, before she saw Calvin, he'd have to cover the lad in episkeys to resolve the scratches so that Chase didn't become self absorbed in unnecessary guilt. He needed her to return to being capable of rational thought so he could talk to her and explain she wasn't insane. Not in the way she saw it. What she was experiencing wasn't exactly textbook for "insanity." There was a signficant difference.

Chase cowered away from him when he came over to her and reached out his hand. But the second his hand touched her forehead, she relaxed and her eyes crossed slightly. She slid back into the bed, and stared up at the ceiling. "Everything is all messed up in my head Mr. Lupin." She whispered, her eyes slowly focusing on him. The peace and calm spells he was putting on her was making her feel a little loose. Like she had had a lot of alcohol, and she couldn't quite concentrate on what was going on in the room.

"I'm sorry... I don't want to worry you guys.." She said lightly. "I just wanna get better.. but every time something comes up.. I just.. freak out.. I get so scared." She whimpered and slowly sat up again, pulling the stuffed animal towards and her and clinging to it, staring at him with large wet eyes. "Please... talk to me Mr. Lupin... I want to know that I'm going to be okay.. will I be okay?" She asked looking at him and trying not to cry full out. She was feeling a lot more peaceful, but still worried. "Is Calvin okay? Is he? I don't.. I don't think I can see him right now... He.. he can't see me like this." She whimpered, pulling at her hair slightly, wincing as she felt what felt like scratches even in her hair.

"First, we're family," Robert said gently. "Isn't it about time you called me Robert?" He sat down in a chair in the room and said. "Chase, the more upset you get, the more those symptoms will return. The more peaceful you stay, the clearer your thinking will be. Let me see if I can't explain it a bit. When someone is through something traumatic, it makes them afraid, self protective. The mind is a marvelously protective thing. It wont' let you look at anything more than you can handle. When it gets too much, your mind just goes..well, elsewhere for awhile. It doesn't make you insane. Not in our textbook version of it. The textbook of it, for us in our world, is caused by a spell or a hex, or by some dysfunction of someone's biology. Neither of those has happened to you, not that I can tell.

"It does mean you have a lot of hurt that we need to help you deal with, one tiny piece at a time. The spells and the potions will help you be calmer and clearer thinking. We're going to make sure that we see to your basic needs--decent food, and that's pretty much anything you feel like eating, so long as you eat 3 balanced meals a day. We want you to have rest, and we want you to see the people who are important to you.

"So far as Calvin goes, he's fine. We're looking after him. We care about him, and I do believe he's with Brian right now. He's alright. Chase, Calvin loves you. Part of loving someone is standing with them through whatever comes. And he's doing just a wonderful job of doing that. I wouldn't stop him from seeing you if you paid me to do it because you both know he makes you feel safe. Its good for you, and its good for him because he so much wants to be with you, no matter what, and he wants any opportunity to support you that he can get. I think he'd curl up on a sofa here if he thought it would give him a moment with you. You're very fortunate to have such a wonderful young man in your life.

"You're going to be fine. Really. It just is going to take a llittle time so that you can start to sort out the fact from the fiction. You know the facts, but you were also fed a lot of fiction. Once you believe you're on solid ground again with which is which, you wont' feel the need to be so scared, and it won't have such power over you. The only way to deal with fear is to face it--one teeny tiny baby step at a time. Not all at once. And we'll help you do that. We've all been frightened in our lives. And, fortunately or unfortunately for you, we're pretty good at learning to master our fears. What I'm saying is that you're in the right family if you want to learn to deal with this so that it doesnt' control you like this."

Chase looked at him and then very carefully nodded. "okay.... Robert." She said softly, and found herself flushing with embarrassment, and for a moment, that embarrassment washed out any fear. She frowned slightly when he explained what being insane meant to them in the textbook version, and what was going on in her head. She closed her eyes as he spoke, and brought her knees to her chest, rocking slightly as he spoke. Her mind was just going on vacation.. away from the pain it would feel without the protection.. it's why she was trapped, she felt so alone, and trapped. Even with Robert sitting there, telling her it would be okay, she had an aching in her chest that made her feel so lonely.

When he spoke about food, Chase couldn't help but remember the many times that Calvin had had to force her to eat something. She would lose her appetite, and just wouldn't eat for days... and even now, she wasn't hungry, and she hadn't eaten today... but he spoke about feeding her well.. and she felt almost sick to her stomach, even thinking about food. Calvin had had to deal with her throwing back up her food, anything that had anything red, or was prepared with a knife was pretty muse useless giving her, because she either wouldn't eat it, or would throw it up later. Her meals had become nutrition rich soups and soft foods, besides pancakes with sprinkles.

"Good... Calvin is okay? Good.." she said softly, and nodded at him. "I love him... and he loves me... I don't know what else I need... I don't know why my brain has shut down the way it has... because Calvin has been so good to me. I don't know why it's all crashed down.." She said softly, her eyes staring straight ahead again. "I can feel it.. I can feel the potions there... and it's like a battle.. a battle in my head... so many flashes, and bangs... They are fighting.. and the fear keeps winning." She looked up at Robert, and sighed softly, and looked up at him. "But.. it all feels like fact Robert! It feels like fact! I want it to stop! He.. He was kind to me sometimes... He made is so clear that what he said was true.. he even showed me the truth! He showed me that it was your fault.." She whispered, her eyes stinging again as she started to rock back and forth. "It's not what he fed me! It's the truth!" she was so sure of herself, she found herself starting to stand up, her fingers scratching at her neck again, wanting to get the potions out of her system, anger flashing across her face. "If you were just nice to him! He wouldn't have hurt me! He wouldn't have hurt me at all! It's all your fault!"

Chase knew nothing. All she knew was her own self centeredness--caused by trauma--and how she thought this all applied to her. And it was hard for Robert to stand by and hear her shout lies about his daughter, especially after he himself had walked so much of that with her when it happened. Chase had no bloody clue because Khaat had chosen to keep it all from her. Perhaps that lack of knowledge had not placed within her the additional fear that might have made it hard for her to survive when Barker had decided it was Chase's turn. He did care very much that Chase was actively hurting Khaat and breaking her heart, and that it risked her pregnancy and in turn her very life. And for Khaat it was like Barker still had her in captivity and was still torturing her and using Chase as the device to do it. It was insidious. Cancerous. Needed to be stopped. He was not permitting Chase around Khaat again until this pregnancy was over. Not if it would be like this. Chase had been programmed by fear to be a weapon against Khaat, and Robert had to stop it.

He didn't give a damn about what she said about him. He knew what the truth was about himself, and, frankly, he was well accustomed to people lying about him. It happened all the bloody time. It rolled off him like water. Especially when it came from someone who had the facts so wrong and was so confused moving between thinking rationally when he had her under control, and when she was resisting that control to choose to be more afraid.

This time he didn't get up out of his chair. He lifted his open palm to her and fired a calm spell as directly at her as he knew how to manage. He wouldn't be able to talk to her again until she could think. Just then he heard a knock on the door. Before he could answer, Khaat came in. Just exactly what he did not want. He had wanted to shelter her, and he could not guarantee that Chase would not lunge out at her.

"Get out of here," Robert ordered her quietly.

"Do you really want me to do that?" Khaat asked, pained by all of this.

"Yes," he replied firmly. "You can't help here. Not until she can get past Felix's desire to see you dead. Chase is his weapon. He's programmed her to hurt you and kill you."

"Then let her try and get it overwith," Khaat shrugged. Robert glared hard at her. He was not going to let this happen to her when she was 9 months pregnant with multiples.

"Don't be ludicrous," he snapped.

"Chase," Khaat said, more tired of Barker's pain than Chase could begin to fathom, "If you want to kill me, then just come and do it. Just be sure its what you want, not what Barker wants you to do. Think for yourself about this. And if you decide you really want me dead, then come and do it." Robert didn't move, but he stayed ready to move in a fraction of a second. The problem he had was he didn't know whether Khaat was trying to get Chase to think, or whether it was some odd suicide gesture of her own out of her own suffering that Chase had resurrected in her. She was clearly different herself than she had been before Chase had snapped, and right now, he wasn't entirely sure what he was looking at. He glanced back behind him and thought he saw Brian outside the glass with his wand at the ready. He hadn't seen, in that quick glance wither Calvin was there observing or not.

Chase yelped when a spell came flying at her, and she fell back against her pillows, narrowly missing it. She whimpered and panted, looking at him in fear now. He had tried to hurt her... he had tried to! She knew it! How did she know that wasn't an Avada Kadavra spell? What if the spell looked different in wandless form. He had tried to kill her. Terrified sobs racked her body again, and suddenly the door opened. Chase hid her eyes for a moment, cowering, until they adjusted to the light, and she looked up. Khaat Lupin stood in the door. Something crossed over Chase's eyes, and she hissed in pain and fright, her eyes locked on Khaat.

She glanced first at Robert, who was momentarily distracted by Khaat, and Khaat, who in turn had focused on her and spoken. Her eyes were unfocused slightly. Her hair ratted up around her face, tears streaked her cheeks, and she was poised on the bed, ready to attack, attack and defend the life she thought had been taken from her. It wasn't Chase who was sitting upon this bed, staring at Khaat with big red eyes. The creature before them looked like Chase, and talked like Chase, but it definitely wasn't Chase. She looked at Robert, and knew she had missed her chance to get at Khaat, knew she had missed the opportunity to kill Khaat this time around. But what Khaat said did make a dent somewhere in her armor. It made her mind whirl, and she whimpered and moved back to a sitting position on the bed, taking the stuffed animal and rocking with it, fast. She started to hum desperately, like she was blocking out noises she didn't want to hear.

Halfway through her humming, she looked up at them all again, like she was going to say something, but a shadow crossed over her face, and she hurriedly hummed louder, rocking back and forth at a fevered pace. "Mary Had a Little lamb.. little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, who's fleece was white as snow." She whispered petting the stuffed animal, and it was lucky it wasn't a real animal, because she was stroking it hard, listening to it purr, tears washing Chase's Cheeks. "No.." Chase suddenly stopped petting and curled in on herself, her hands going over her ears, and she started to sob, but somewhere from her sobs, you could still hear her humming the tune to Mary had a little lamb, trying desperately to be louder then the voice inside her head.