Wit is a Treacherous Dart

“What? It was just a joke,” Darius said with a shrug of his shoulders and a huff as he removed the dead cat from the dart board in the back corner of The Vintage, a dusty old bar in Hogsmeade. The owner was still giving him a dirty look when he opened the back door and threw the orange ball of fluff into the dumpster in the alley, rolling his eyes heavily when the man wasn’t looking.

Some people can be such spoil sports, Darius thought, returning to lean on the wall by the dart board and waving ironically to the owner as he disappeared back behind the bar, looking as though he would have preferred to just watch Darius all night and make sure he didn’t do anything else to scare off customers.

Darius took a long drag from his glass of firewhiskey, letting the burning sensation fill his throat as he surveyed the place. Not many people were here, which is how the boy had found himself playing darts alone in the back of a crappy old bar. He had thought the cat would liven things up a bit, but apparently the owner didn’t take kindly to animal abuse, even if the animal was already dead.

I found it… I swear, Darius thought darkly, turning back to the dartboard to throw one of the pointed projectiles in his hand at the board, the dart sticking out of the cork surface a few inches away from the bullseye.

Meoooow, Darius’ subconscious purred, his dark sense of humor mimicking the animal that was no longer there to enjoy the fun.

((Cue Mariposa))

Why did I come in here? Mariposa thought as she walked to the bar in The Vintage. She could have just gone to the Three Broomsticks or something, but she had decided to come into the old bar instead. She had thought it would've been a better place to go in since it wasn't ever as crowded at the Three Broomsticks was. She had chosen to dress more like a girl now, but this wasn't her brightest idea because of where she was going. Not that she cared very much anymore.

She wasn't really planning on blending in anywhere anymore, and that dress sure helped. It was bright green and she even had her hair done. She felt weird and out of place, because she was so used to wearing boys clothes. But she felt she needed to change her choice of clothing now. Still not vey lively she thought as she walked toward the back of the bar. She never saw the place very busy, ever. But it must had some advantages since they never had to worry about to much stress. She giggled softly and sat down at the back of The Vintage.

Darius had fired off two more darts before his concentration was interrupted by the arrival of a girl he thought he recognized from behind (and Darius always had a good memory for behinds). She sauntered into the bar alone, unusual for a sixteen-year-old Hogwarts female, but Darius wasn’t complaining. Girls were always much easier prey alone, especially because they didn’t have any self-righteous friends around to defend them when Darius was making them feel insecure so they’d be more likely to get a room with him.

Biting his bottom lip as though he were really concentrating on taking aim, Darius pulled the dart way too far behind his head and let it fly, aiming not for the dart board but rather for the table right in front of the new girl. His aim was on the mark, and the dart landed directly in front of the girl – Gryffindor, if he remembered right, but he wasn’t picky when he was alone – and, unable to stick into the wood, skittered across the surface and onto the floor next to her chair.

Tada, Darius thought to himself, carefully constructing a look of embarrassment on his face as he set the remaining two darts on the table next to him and moved toward the dark-haired girl.

“I am so sorry,” Darius said, his voice oozing with charm as he approached the girl, smiling apologetically, “That was really very clumsy of me. But really, I’m going to blame the dart. Because how could it have avoided such a lovely target?” Darius purred, laying it on thick. Girls were so stupid, they actually believed this crap.

“I’m Darius,” he said confidently, extending his hand toward the girl. And what reason did he have not to be confident in this situation? This girl wasn’t so special, but she would do. For now.