Conversations in My Head

Chase Moor was going to die. It was a couple weeks after the fight and the ring that had been placed on her finger and the blissful cloud Mira had been living on had officially worn out. The wounds of battle had been mostly mended when the couple had made up but one fact still remained - they had kissed. This idea had been slowly wearing away at her patience. The thought of their lips together was enough to drive her into a frenzy now. And Mira had spent the last two hours replaying possible ways it could happened in her head. 

Even though it was self generated the anger in her had brought out the admittedly insane side in her. It was above and beyond normal "crazy ex-girlfriend" stuff here. And Mira wasn't even an ex. In her head all she was going to do was talk to Chase and have a real conversation (something they had actually never had) but in reality she was going to hurt her. She just wouldn't admit it to herself. 

Mira wasn't evil, just protective of her rights over Krum. After five years of his shit she finally had him right where she wanted him. She had the tattoo, the ring, the promise. Yet he had the nerve to admit he had once adored Chase (just happening to forget the other things he said that made up for it). She was the loose end that Mira had to cut. 

But really, she's not evil!

So Mira had got the address of Chases new residence from Elijahs cousin. She wore jeans and a light green raincoat to keep dry from the heavy showers going on. With a pop she appeared at the doorstep. It irked Mira that the girl had her own house, when Mira still bent over backwards at the will of her parents. That's what happened when they had the money. 

Mira rang the doorbell and half hoped no one would answer. Now that she was actually here it seemed like much less of a good idea. She didn't know what she was going to say. Hi! I'm Mira Anderson, Elijahs girlfriend. I hate your guts even though I've never spoken to you. Mind if I come in and throw a few good jinxes your way? That didn't sound quite right. Hopefully it would come when the time came.

OOC: why does she have to act like a crazy person? It's very off-putting for me. But alas, at least she turns normal in a post or two. I think they should get along relatively rapidly, clearly a first impression thing.   

We can edit the time frame for when Chase is out of the hospital, etc.

It had been a while, and after straightening up the place, Chase was packing her belongings.. again. She had made a mistake moving to this house, and now she was moving back in with Calvin. She had been kidnapped, tortured, and abused, nearly killed multiple times, and yet she refused to go to St. Mungos. The scars that crossed her body had been healed up by Calvin, and she was slowly starting to gain weight back again. She had insisted that no one come and help her pack up her stuff, simply because she wanted to do it alone. The possibility of Felix coming back here was slim, he had only taken her because she was connected to Khaat, he didn't have a personal vendetta out for her, so she wasn't to worried of a repeat instance.

Sitting in the front room, on her futon, Chase was slowly packing up clothes that she had washed, and was putting them back into her bag. Katie's clothes were sitting on the futon next to her, and suddenly the doorbell rang. Chase stood up, and after glancing around at her stuff, went to the door, and opened it. "Hello, may I help you?" She asked, not recognizing the woman on the other side. She was pretty, and had an air of one who was used to getting what she wanted. She had a very... aristocratic sense about her, and Chase frowned. What would someone like that have to do way out here? Maybe she was having car troubles? Chase glanced down the driveway, the road was hidden by trees, so she couldn't be sure if there was a car over there, but she simply shrugged and turned her attention back to the woman in front of her.

Oh god. She was a beautiful as Mira's worst nightmares. The beautiful red hair lay around her soft and pretty face. For someone who believed that outer beauty was as important (if not more) than inner beauty, Chase being stunning was not a good thing. And all the more reason to hate her. Collecting her cool, Mira smiled softly. "I'm Mira Anderson. I wanted to meet you." Yes, she sounded like a super stalker, but what else was she supposed to say? And it was the truth, a rare honor when speaking to Mira.

Mira examined Chase closer and noticed something disturbing. Scars. New scars. Like she had been recently tortured. Mira's breath caught. She looked a little too much like a tamed down version of Alice's body. And that was how Chase won the little bit of compassion that Mira possessed. Her poor, unfortunate sister suddenly became poor, unfortunate Chase. And it was impossible to hate her sister. She wouldn't kill her, she would give her a chance. Get to know the girl her fiancee had once loved. Because he obviously had good taste in women - look at Mira.

"Oh.. erm.. Hello Mira Anderson.. would you.. erm.. would you like to come in?" She asked, running her hand through her short hair. From the right angle, it looked like it was simply pulled back into a ponytail, with a few tendrils that hung about her face, but when Chase ran her hand through it, it was obvious that the back was chopped off extremely short, and not very evenly, like it had been up in a pony when it was snapped off with a knife. Chase stood back from the door and opened it wider, letting Mira Anderson into the room. She didn't know who she was, or what she wanted, but Chase had an odd feeling it wasn't good. Running a finger across a still slightly swollen cut on her cheek, Chase turned into the house carefully. "Here.. I'll start up some tea.. I'm just packing up.. so you'll have to excuse the mess... I'll be leaving here soon." She said carefully, going into the kitchen, that was connected without any separation between it and the front room.

Once the hot water was on, Chase turned around and looked at Mira. "Erm.. what can I help you with? I'm afraid I've never heard of you.." She said and flushed. Chase tucked a strand behind her ear again, and frowned, looking at the girl. She was beautiful.. absolutely stunning, and Chase felt a tad bit jealous of her. It was girls like THIS who Elijah should be going after.. not... recently tortured... emotionally and physically scarred Chase, who was as beautiful as a scarecrow. Chase smiled at the girl and turned around to take the water off the stove, and poured some tea out into two cups. "I'm afraid I only have Earl Grey.... how much sugar would you like?" She asked, stirring in a couple of sugar cubes into her own tea before turning back to the girl and smiling at her, a soft smile, the kind you give to strangers that you don't know.

Great. Not only was she beautiful, but also seemed nice so far. It might actually take some work to hate her. Mira urged herself silently to hold on to her jealousy and anger towards Chase. To carry through with why she was there. But Mira just didn't have the heart. Just like at the end of her argument with Elijah, her heart felt heavy. It was so much work to fight - especially when nothing had been started yet. 

"Yes, thank you"

Mira smiled at the girl as she let her in. For once the smile didn't feel forced or fake. She only genuinely smiled with she was with Elijah. This was a bad sign. Chase offered tea and Mira nodded gratefully. While Elijah drank while he was nervous or stressed, Mira preferred coffee or tea. And then Chase remarked she didn't know who Mira was. And Mira was completely stumped for a moment on how to answer. 

"Earl gray is fine" she remarked, returning the soft smile. It was genuinely sweet. Mira paused, thinking before she spoke. "I'm sorry for barging in on you like this. I'm Elijahs.." And then she broke off. What WAS she? While they were getting married they were not really engaged, while they went on dates they weren't dating, and even though they just randomly slept together they were certainly not just a fling. 

"I guess you would say girlfriend. If the words Krum and girlfriend are possible to put together." There was so much more she could say but Mira decided to wait to see Chases reaction before she revealed the boring specifics of their relationship. There was much time for talking. But there was no time for cursing or hexing or jinxing. 

Chase watched the woman, confused. She wasn't quite sure of what to make of this... some random stranger showing up at her house, well obviously she had a reason for being here... and they seemed to be taking a long time to get to the point of it. Chase smiled at the girl, and sipped her own tea before moving into the living room and moving some stuff off of the couch so that they could sit down. "Really, I am sorry.. it's just a mess in here." She said shaking her head. "I wasn't expecting company.. you know moving and all.." Chase said with a small smile as she sat down and tried to get comfortable. She watched as the girl struggled with some thoughts, and then Chase froze. This woman was connected with Elijah? She didn't say how she was connected for a long time, until finally she used the word girlfriend.

Chase frowned, and then looked across the room at the fireplace. "Elijah's girlfriend?" She said carefully. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but what could you possibly want with me Mira? Elijah and I broke up a long time ago... The only thing I could tell you right now is that you should get out of the relationship before you get your heart broken.." She said sipping her tea again. "I can't stand to even talk to him.. let alone look at him.. I really don't understand what you could have to do with me.." She said shaking her head, before she sighed. "I'm sure you know he was here... and we kissed... but that was it.. and now I don't ever want to see him again.. It's as simple as that.. I'm sorry if I hurt you by kissing him.. but I was very upset.. and probably kind of drunk that night.. I wasn't really aware of my actions.. not to mention I was desperate." She said and stood up, taking her cup into the kitchen again, her hands trembling.

"I just got back home.. and I'm moving back in with my friend... So.. I don't see... I don't see what I can do for you right now.. unless you've come to yell at me.. which at this point I would understand completely if you did.. because I'd yell at the person you thought your boyfriend was having sex with too, not that we did.. we kissed.. and well.. I hate his guts.. so have fun." She said and washed her cup at the sink, turning her back on Mira, sounding a bit upset.

Chase responded fearfully close to how Mira imagined she would have if the situations were reversed. This shocked her a bit. She and Chase were supposed to be nothing alike, to hate each other instantly. It was meant to be that way. But now Mira was starting to question her own certainty. Confirmation of this was given when Mira spoke almost instantly after Chase stopped speaking. 

"I'm not here to yell at you!" she said sadly, surprising even herself with the honesty in her words. "And yes, it did hurt when you kissed him, but not nearly as much as it hurt when you were with him." Mira smiled at Chase again. It hurt even thinking about those days of one night stands, meaningless kisses, and broken hearts. It would be her own personal hell to return to that way of life with Elijah. Mira knew she owed Chase some sort of explanation of why she was here, so she continued into her story if exactly how she was connected to the Bulgarian. 

"I've known Elijah since the day I was born. Our families were close and before we entered this world it was decided we were to be married. In the early teen years we were betrothed and we always were.. Mira paused to look at Chase, making sure to hold her gaze. "Even when you were with him. But he didn't want me, he wanted you. And suddenly my greatest competitor was a girl I had never heard of." Mira shrugged, trying to not let the emotions of that time be revealed. "And now after so much time I just wanted to meet you, when there was so much less to loose on both sides. But I am sorry for barging in like this" 

There was something about this girl that made Mira want to spill her guts to her. To tell all her secrets and deepest fears. Something also said she would listen. That was one scary combination. Mira didn't have any friends who cared and listened, wanted to know her problems. Not even Elijah. Perhaps it was that fact that kept Mira open to the idea of getting to know Chase. Whatever it was, Mira had never shared this much about herself in one sitting before - and certainly not this quickly.

Chase listened to the girl's story, not knowing that she wasn't the kind to speak her past so freely, not knowing anything about her, she listened. She listened with a blank face, not betraying her own emotions about the whole subject. "To tell you the truth.." She said when Mira had finished. "I didn't even know you existed.. and for that I'm sorry..." She said softly, her eyes still holding onto the girl's. "But... you should be happy now.." She said softly, her eyes slowly moving away from Mira's, and looking down at her hands, which she had clasped in front of her. "I don't mean to see Elijah again... In fact, I'd be happy if I didn't have to.." She said softly, unable to look at Mira any longer. "Mira... I'm tired.." She said softly, her eyes going to look at her.

"I'm seventeen years old.. a mother, single... and I've been through enough pain and heartache, to have the experience of someone who is 70 years old. I feel old.. I feel exhausted.. and I just want to.. to sleep... to go away and sleep for a very long time. Elijah has given me a child... and after all that I was going through... I find him with another woman... and after that... I just.. I couldn't stand it anymore.. Mira.. I've lost everything before.. my family was murdered, my money taken away.. I had no friends... I've had nothing... can you even start to imagine what that's like? It's one reason I never want to see him again.. sure he's been through hell.. his own personal hell.. but I've experienced as much as I ever want to, or never wanted to.. I want to find someone nice for me.. I want to not be connected in any way with the Krum family... well.. maybe a few, but... right now... I need to be left alone by him.. and I really.. you don't have to worry Mira..." She said carefully.

"You don't have to worry about him going back to me, because I will hex him out of this house if he tries to enter it again.. I have friends now, and I'm just starting to get my life back together.. I don't need him messing it up again." She said looking up at Mira and sighing heavily, crossing her arms over her chest.

Mira let out a shaky breath. She felt like she was going to loose it. Not in an angry, blow the house down kind of way, but in a break down crying way. Seeing someone else express such deep sadness brought up the same emotion within Mira. "I know it sounds crazy.." she shook her head "But I feel the same way. I have both of my parents here, I'm far from a mother, and I'm getting married. I have no excuse. But I'm lost, drifting. I feel like I have no place and no will of my own."

As she said these things Mira realized they were true. She had never been able to pinpoint the weight that was always heavy on her heart. "My mother chooses my husband, friends, and probably my job. I'm just a pretty face for her to use as a pawn in her sick little society games." Miras mouth curled in disgust. She had never blamed her mother for anything but suddenly it was all her fault. Even little Alice's death was somehow Vivans doing. 

But for once in her life Mira knew that Chase wouldn't go after Elijah again. She believed her completely. Elijah may have said that Chase was the one who put him through hell but it was clearly two sided. For all of the lying and faking Mira did had one benefit - she knew when someone was telling the truth. And Chase Moor was no liar. 

Chase smiled and shook her head. "You know... sometimes.. I wish it were that way for me.." she said and let out a short shaky laugh. "My mother used to be the same way... controlling... and always picking what I did.. what I wore.. who she thought I should marry.. I was in an arranged marriage once upon a time.. but I haven't even looked at or seen the person I was supposed to marry.. it was like that for me... and then it all just crumbled apart.." She said and sighed, shaking her head."It hurts.." She said slowly, wrapping her arms around her stomach. "It hurts a lot.. when you are living through it.. and now I look back on it, and laugh at myself.. laugh at the fact that I could have been so upset.. upset about something so small.." she said and smiled slightly again.

"You know.. it's not worth it Mira.. being with someone who makes you unhappy... It isn't.." She shook her head, and then smiled and sat back down next to Mira. "We could be friends Mira.. we could.. we have a lot in common... but I hope what we have in common.. does not extend any farther.. not that it could I think... you have to much family in order for it to be so.." She smiled at her. "Can we be friends Mira? I would like a friend.." She said, and then gave a watery laugh, small tears pricking her eyes. "We could be friends I feel... you are nice... and though I'd rather not see Elijah again.. being able to see the look on his face.." she laughed again and looked at Mira, smiling at her.