Amelia was lucky, in a way, that her mind was shutting out all unnecessary stimuli. Yes it was rather robotic that some of these stimuli were those that made humans feel the way they did, but other stimuli allowed her to remain calm and not cause any more damage than had already been done. For example, Jack yelling at the headmaster for something to do would have been so annoyingly comical to Amelia that she might have been tempted to throw a hex in his direction just to shut him up. And if Xemnas had been of Amelia’s house, she would have reacted much more harshly than Jack had to the boy’s insolence.
But instead, none of this reached Amelia’s brain. It was all filtered out before she became conscious of it, and instead she was thin lipped and quiet while the headmaster dealt with the chaos around them and then got down to business. Even the loss of house points did not faze Amelia at this point – she was waiting to react only to what the headmaster instructed her to do, as though that was the only password that would activate her system.
Doyle’s explanation was quick, but thorough. He highlighted the plight that was facing them as a group – though it was also facing the student body at large – took responsibility for his role in it, but did not dwell on apologies or what-ifs. Then he did what Amelia would have seen coming if she had been thinking with the full range of her mind instead of focusing her attention on one single entity: he asked the four of them – Jack, Elijah, Ariel, and herself – to join in the protection of the castle.
It was the same request the headmaster had made of her after potions earlier that week. It had even come with the same preface: the staff could not do it all, they would need student involvement if they were to protect the student body at large. He had said that he trusted her, asked her because of her abilities. This is what she should have wanted: recognition for how hard she worked, how capable she was. This should have been worth much more than her mother’s nod of approval or yet another ‘O’ on a homework assignment.
But this praise came with a cost. And that cost might be her life.
These were the qualms that had stopped Amelia from answering the headmaster’s question the first time he had proposed it back in Potions. She knew the risks associated with taking on the responsibility he proposed, and although it would have been easier to just agree and move on (she usually agreed to these things in the end anyway), she couldn’t help but give due time to the nagging voice of self-preservation in the back of her mind. So she had walked away, told herself she would think about it and get back to him.
But she was no longer the one dictating when her mind could be made up. The situation had brought the decision to the forefront, and she needed to give Doyle an answer. Amelia took a full minute to compose her thoughts, and try to weigh her options, but the more she pulled things apart into their logical components, the more she began to see that she didn’t really have options. There was really only one option, in light of what had happened, and after she had reached this rational conclusion, Amelia cleared her throat and spoke.
“I’m in,” Amelia said, her voice sounding more monotone than confident. She was not doing this because she had a deeply personal connection to Sage. She wasn’t agreeing because she felt a personal bond to her peers and wanted to be their hero. Amelia Lyons took up the reigns the headmaster had threw to her because she knew, logically, that the only way to protect herself and the school that had granted her sanctuary these last seven years was to stand beside the staff and put what she had learned on the line. It was not an emotional decision, it was a rational one, which was the only reason Amelia was able to make it in her current state.
“Where can I start?” Amelia asked, gripping her wand tighter. She had kept it in her hand since the patronus, and had a lingering feeling that she wouldn’t be keeping it in her waistband anymore given these new circumstances.