After a moment of silence, and the kettle getting done, and tea being made, Felix looked back up at Khaat. What did she think of him? This convict who sat chained in the chair before her. Face a mess, hair growing wild, an odd wild look in his eyes, that was slowly starting to be tamed. What did she think of him? What did the guards think of him? When they dragged him down the hall, chained him to the chairs he was forced to sit in, watched as he slowly drove himself mad with the help of the dementors that their protronus's happily helped to keep away.. what did they think of him? In some ways, Felix looked like the shadow of the man he had been, still wild, still crazy, but completely different mentally. He had come into this room, lost, and alone, starved, crazy.. and with a few simple words by the woman in front of him.. the well dressed, mannered, sophisticated in every way woman, and she had changed his life completely.
Felix felt himself smile as he took a moment to examine their surroundings. They were in a room at the wizard prison Azkaban, he was a deranged, captured convict, clothes filthy, hair a mess, a beard growing on his chin, wild in every way, and opposite of the table, sat a beautiful woman, nicely clothed, well-mannered, and groomed. Perfectly composed, sitting upright and drinking tea. He smoked, she drank her flavored hot water. He couldn't help but chuckle as he examined the situation. Not to long ago, their roles had been reversed, she had been chained to table, to the walls, her mind so far gone she had been lost to almost everything but the most expert healing at St. Mungos. His mind flashed back to the empty look in her eyes when he shoved a knife into her side, needles below her fingernails, pain beyond pain. An odd wild look reappeared in his eyes.
"No!" Felix cried out audibly, and dropped his cigarette, his hands flying up to his ears, his entire body starting to shake once more. "No... I won't... stop it.." He whispered as he rocked slightly in his chair. "Damn Dementors.. make the worst memories.. damn them.. Damn them all back to hell where they came from." He gasped holding onto his head as his mind recalled the wonderful feelings he was going to miss, torture, death, seeing the light leave someone's eyes, as they died, was it worth it? If he got out of here.. he could continue the path he had been going on.. if he got out.. he could be free.. but when he got out.. he wouldn't be Felix as he remembered himself.. he'd be Felix Barker.. reformed man.. the first known reformed man he could think of, who actually made it somewhere in the world.. his eyes brightened.
He could be known.. and not for his evil deeds, he could be known, and respected, people would like him.. look at him as they looked at Khaat. Felix looked up at Khaat as though trying to imagine seeing himself on the other side of the table. "You'll have to work hard on me ma'am... my mind seems to have gone a bit funky from the Dementors.." He said after a long moment. The world would see him, they would look at him, and see him as a man who was capable of change, as a man who could overcome even the worst obstacles, of course people would know his past, and fear him and respect him, expecting him to go off the edge at any moment, especially in the beginning, but as it was..one day.. he could sit there, neatly groomed, in charge, and in control.. he had a chance to live, and live happily.. why would he throw that away for a woman? A woman who had only caused him pain.
"I want to reform Khaat... I want to do it... I'll work hard.. I'll do anything you ask me to.. I'll become who you want me to be.. I'll never even look at the people I used to work with.. N....Nao..Naomi is a thing of the past..she is dead to me..." He had to force her name out, oh how it hurt to say the word! A name he had once revered, now he could only speak it in a whisper, speak it after lots of stammering, she was dead to him, and as he had said it, his eyes hardened, and he sat up straighter. "I will do what you want.. I want to be like you.. I want to help people, not hurt them..I want to help.. please, tell me how.." He pleaded, staring at her from across the table, his hands on the arms of his chair, staring at her, wanting her guidance, needing her to help change him into the man she wanted him to be.