Amelia was grateful as Arthur disappeared into the back room, guilty as she should have been for feeling that way. It was apparent that Arthur was pleased to see her, but she wasn’t sure that she felt the same way. Things had been so awkward between the two of them at the end of last year that seemed like everything would be much easier if they just didn’t have to see one another at all from here on out. But it also seemed as though that wasn’t going to be possible, seeing as he worked in a place where she would have to frequent to pick up supplies, and working in Diagon Alley meant he must still be living in the area, meaning it would be possible she would run into him in other locales than just his place of employment.
It wasn’t long before Arthur returned with a kit in his hands, still continuing his previous line of questioning about school, but his questions seemed more rhetorical than actual, and his eyes were not on hers, and for these reasons Amelia did not feel compelled to respond to his comments on the interworkings of Hogwarts. Instead, she watched him check over her kit, his fingers passing over the different ingredients with a confidence that suggested he had done this many times before. It took him a few minutes to finish his inspection, and Amelia was ready to step forward and take the kit from him when Arthur put his hand up, keeping her from taking that step forward and leaving her looking quizzically at him as he began to speak.
When he asked for permission to speak his mind, Amelia felt an immediate urge to tell him not to out of fear of what he would say, but before she could reply to his request, Arthur squared his shoulders and continued on, apparently taking her moment of silence as acceptance of his request.
Amelia found her emotions moving from confusion to bafflement to incredulity very quickly, though this progression of emotions was demonstrated on her face only in the thinning line of her lips as Arthur spoke. With each sentence, Amelia wanted to make a retort, to interrupt him from going further, but she could find no place in which to interject. Arthur pressed on and on as though if he did not say everything in one go, he might not be able to come back to it. He wasn’t altogether incorrect in this assumption, for if he had given Amelia an opportunity to cut him off, she likely would have taken it and left before he could finish, but as it was, Amelia was stuck rooted to the spot with no choice but to listen to the words that fell like heavy stones from Arthur’s lips, the weight of them not missed by the younger girl.
When he did finally finish, he looked as though he had run a marathon, and Amelia had to drop her eyes from him in order to even begin to process a plausible answer to his proposal. Of course, she had about five barbed remarks to make, ones that she would have made to just about anyone else without hesitation, but Arthur’s sincerity was throwing her off. Here was a boy that she had never treated with anything other than indifference or disdain, and yet he was apologizing to her. It was not out of the realm of appropriate apologies, at least to Amelia, who fully believed that Arthur’s invasive actions last year warranted apology, but it did seem slightly off balance considering what had come to pass between them. Amelia knew she had always been more unkind to Arthur than he had been to her, but she had never thought to make an apology to him. It had simply never occurred to her.
But now he presented her with an ultimatum and had put the decision in her hands. He was giving her the out she had wanted in the spring, the opportunity to push him completely out of her life and stop having to worry about whatever it was that he was doing or thinking about her. But now that she was presented with the opportunity, so ready to be taken in her hands, Amelia found herself hesitant to take it. After all she had put Arthur through, he was still trying, and the reason completely escaped Amelia’s understanding, but she knew enough to understand that what Arthur was doing was rare. With the amount of time and effort she spent pushing people away, it would be much easier for him, just like it was easier for everyone else, to walk away without a fight. But here he was, bearing it all to fight for something he had to know would be next to impossible with Amelia: friendship.
It was a difficult choice, and Amelia had to attempt several times to speak, opening and closing her mouth while nothing came out, before she was finally able to align her thoughts and weigh the pros and cons of the situation. She knew that by making this decision, she was committing to trying to work on something that she honestly didn’t believe was possible. But Arthur believed in it, and maybe that would be enough. Maybe belief in friendship was contagious, or maybe Arthur could just believe enough for the both of them.
“We…. We could try,” Amelia said, being careful not to commit too fully to actually becoming friends. That possibility was still dependent on a lot of things in Amelia’s eyes, mostly her own ability to get close to people and her history of dislike for Arthur. Although he seemed willing to put whatever feelings he had aside, Amelia was not so quick to discount her own intuitions, and she knew that attempting friendship with Arthur was going to be challenging at the very least. But for someone who had so few genuine offers of friendship, and no one she was really close to, perhaps it was time she gave something new a try.
The worst case scenario was that their attempt at friendship would fail, and she would end up exactly where she was now, perhaps a bit more worse for wear, but at this stage of recluse, there was only so much further she could recede within herself. With so little to lose, taking the risk was not as potentially costly, and that logical explanation was enough to allow Amelia to consent to an attempt at friendship with a boy that a year ago she would have been content never to see again.
This is going to be a long road… Amelia thought to herself, unable to think of anything else to say and instead awkwardly alternating between looking at Arthur and looking at the floor.
Let’s just hope there are several escape routes… Amelia’s mind quipped, still not convinced that this was a good idea. And Amelia wasn’t altogether sure her subconscious wasn’t right.