Apologies to be Made...

Jack stepped into the Leaky Cauldron feeling pretty pathetic and so tired. She still had not returned home since the little incident concerning Vito and Chase... She could not face to go home. She could not face much it seemed. She had been avoiding Vito for once in her life. To see his face, hear his jeering...well he heart had already been completely crushed by her failure. It could be that she would die if she looked into those icy eyes again... those eyes that had once harbored sadness... those eyes that emanated hate.

She shuttered to herself and made her way up the counter, ordering a cocoa. She needed something comforting. And her usual soda... well. Jack Dyllan was not exactly feeling usual right now.

She may not have been able to face Vito or her family... but there were a few people she needed to face. Jack soul seemed to be screaming...actually it was more like that sound of nails on a chalkboard. She hated admitting she was wrong as it was... but about this... She had been so sure. She seemed so stupid having to face her friends and tell them what a foolish prat she had been.

She wanted to talk to Chase first. Chas needed to hear it more than Andrew right now. Chase had been hurt more. And Jack felt as though it were her fault... Had she not after all been the one to make Vito confront his problems? Had he not gone off the deep end... But she had not known... How could she know he would go and...

She sat at a table and forced her face and her mind to go blank. She could not keep making herself relive everything. She barely slept as it was...and her dreams were filled with nightmares that made no sense. She was already losing it, she needed to just hold on to her sanity for two more conversations, that was all...

Chase had gotten the owl earlier that morning. And she was seriously afraid what Andrew would say if he found her sneaking out again. He was still asleep, as she slid out of the bed and crossed to the bathroom. After a quick shower and change into some nice light clothes, she glanced at Andrew. Biting her lip, and knowing that she probably shouldn't be doing this, she took a very deep breath, and left the apartment, getting to an alley outside of the building, she turned on the spot and vanished, she had just taken her test after all, having decided it was safer for her to know how to aparate then her learning how to fight.

Chase staggered and landed in a small alley not far from the Leaky Cauldron. After glancing around quickly, she pulled sunglasses low over her eyes and walked into the Leaky Cauldron. It was dark and she had to push her sunglasses up into her hair, glancing around the room momentarily she bit her lip and found a table. She was early, a lot earlier then she had expected to be. Simply because she had had to sneak out so early. Chase ordered a drink and sat waiting for it, her eyes on her hands. What did Jack want? Sure Chase felt like she owed her something, but she was still apprehensive. What if Jack just wanted to tell her that Vito hadn't been in his right mind? St. Mungos had managed to patch up pretty well, and there was barely even a mark to show what she had been through down that alley. She almost wished that there was something left, just so that she could show Jack what had happened to her, and remind her of how horrible it had been. She had been beaten up pretty bad.

Looking up when the door opened she saw Jack walk in. Chase hesitated for a moment as she ordered a drink, and then carefully stood up. Pulling her bag onto her shoulder more carefully she walked over to the bar and sat down carefully next to her friend. What was there to say? Nothing.. so Chase sipped her tea and stared at it for a long time before she spoke. "Hey Jack.." She said softly, stirring her now cold tea slowly, as though concentrating as hard as she could on watching the dregs float along the bottom. "What's up?" She said slowly, not even glancing at the girl next to her.

Jack glanced up at Chase as she sat next to her and Jack tried to smile, but her mask would not let her. Chase always seemed so small when Jack saw her... It was silly for Jack to say that people seemed small, being almost ridiculously short herself, but people seemed to be able to overlook that in her because she reminded them that she was just as, if not more, threatening than any opponent of normal stature.

But Chase...Chase was troubled. Jack considered herself to have been to hell and back, but they had not always been completely terrible trips, because she had managed to escape relatively unscathed. But Chase was not a great dueler and she hd been hurt... hurt badly. And what was worse, she was probably dying inside because Jack had more or less betrayed her. Jack knew she would never be able to make Chase and Andrew understand why she had tried to help Vito; in fact, she could not without breaking the promises she still swore to keep. So she was left, being the person to be blamed.

She sighed. "Uhh...Nothing." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Okay, now I'm being a pansy." She wanted to punch herself in the face just about now. "I was wrong. About Vito. He was not getting better. And I should not have expected any different. And I'm sorry if I seemed to have abandoned you."

Chase was slightly surprised at how quickly Jack got to the point. Chase hadn't even prepared herself when Jack burst out that she was sorry. Chase raised her hand and ordered another tea. The new one came before she had said anything yet, her mind was mulling over things carefully. "Jack..." She said carefully but went silent again, a frown making a crease between her eyes. She took a drink of her tea, and then shook her head. "What made you think this? The fact that he almost killed you or me?" She asked slowly.

Chase ran her hand through her hair, still imagining the clump that had been pulled out. The hair had been regrown and stitched up, so that you couldn't even tell, but she could still feel a small scar that ran across the spot that had been pulled out. She shook her head again, her hair falling down around her shoulders. Chase slowly turned to look at Jack. "What were you doing with him anyway Jack?" She asked slowly. "He killed my family.. he almost killed me.. he almost killed YOU! He's a killer, and you didn't even realize it or what?" She asked, turning to glare at her friend. Fire blazed behind her soft brown eyes, making her look even more angry, but her tone was still soft and quiet so that they wouldn't make a scene.

Honestly, Jack had been most surprised that Vito had tried to kill her, after they had almost formed a friendship of sorts. But he must have known by then that Chase and Jack were friends, and so both those facts had turned her opinion. She shook her head as though to say she was overwhelmed by both facts.

Suddenly Chase was blowing up. Where had this Chase been when Vito had her cornered. Jack had never seen Chase mad. The girl was always pretty happy it seemed...when she was not getting beat up by poltergeist's that was... She demanded to know why Jack had fooled herself into believing Vito was... not okay, but not terrible. She asked if Jack had realized it and Jack felt anger flare slightly.

What did Chase think, that Jack was ignorant and oblivious. She probably knew the most about Vito Dee Symons, and she knew worse... She had seen him do things... She knew, but it was obliviousness that had kept her clinging to her fragile hopes...

In a soft growl Jack said, "I knew what he was." She stopped herself... She had used a soft voice...like Vito. She shook her head. No... No picking up habits from murderers... She continued in her normal voice, "I saw him do some pretty terrible things, and those did not go forgiven... But..." She stopped. For some reason, she still found it important not to release the information she had. "But I knew some other things that told me he was changing... and for awhile it looked like he had. I was wrong. And I swear to you, I did not know what he had done, and when I found out I intended to yell at him but..." But he was drunk off his arse and she ended up sleeping next to him and then holding him while he tried not to cry...? She thought it was best to say, "But I never got the chance."

Chase could see she had hit a button in Jack when she suddenly got very quiet in her speaking. She winced as though that were a physical hit, and she turned back to her drink, hearing her voice go back to normal. At least she didn't sound like she was going to murder her too! Chase stared into her mug for a very long time, as though attempting to find something in it that had all of the clues to her problems. She took a deep breath and then glanced at Jack, seeing how she was angry, but also something else too. Chase couldn't put her finger on it.

Biting her lip for a long moment, she turned to look straight at her friend. "Okay, I get it.." She said suddenly, her eyes bright. "But.. you aren't talking to him now are you?" She asked a bit of uncertainty in her voice. "You aren't still.. hanging around that guy are you?" Chase knew she was really only asking this for one purpose, but she wouldn't tell Jack that. She had to go see this guy, this guy in his natural habitat, and see what had caused Jack to be so nice to him. She just had to find him.

Chase changed tactics then, realizing she needed more information about this guy. "Jack.." She said softly, and then hugged her friend as hard as she could. "I'm sorry I was angry with you.. but.. can you blame me?" She asked softly looking into her friends eyes as she pulled away from her. She bit her lip and then smiled. "So... where did you meet him anyway?" She asked carefully, turning back to her tea and taking a swift gulp of the scalding liquid, almost happy for the burning sensation down her throat.

Jack shook her head and said, "No, I'm not. I have not seen him...since." She did not like to remind herself of that whole debacle, that one incident that had more or less shattered her hope for mankind and the belief that she could do what she put her mind too. No, she did not like to think about that day, and to face Vito would make her do just that.

Chase asked if Jack could blame her and Jack again shook her head and said in a dull voice that was most unbecoming of her, "No... I blame me. So really I can not." She felt more and more hollowed the more she discussed this, but Chase had the right to ask any questions she wanted at the moment. Jack owed her a family and some sanity... If only Jack had either to give...

She asked how they had met and Jack shrugged. "I've known Vito for awhile now... We've had this feud for just about forever...pushing each other's buttons and what not. We were never close or anything... It was a game of spite and pranks. Awhile ago, though, I was stupid and called his bluff about something and this whole mess started." She did not elaborate... She really did not feel like she would be able to...

Chase nodded slowly when Jack talked. Her eyes were downcast, as she explained the situation. Her heart was hurting more and more the longer Jack talked. It didn't.. it didn't sound like Jack at all. It was like her whole world was ripped out from under her, and now she had no emotion to show for it. Chase looked at her and felt small tears gather in her eyes. "Jack... I'm sorry, no listen, I'm sorry." She said just in case Jack tried to interrupt. "I wish I could have.. defended myself against him, maybe have stopped the entire attack to happen!" She said running her hand through her hair again and letting it fall uselessly at her side. "I just.. I dropped my wand early on in the fight, he even killed a muggle who tried to help me.." She said slowly.

"But I got away.. I had.. I thought I was safe.." She shuddered and put her head down on the table, feeling tears gather as her body remembered all of the pain she felt with each blow of his fist. It wasn't like other times she had been cornered with a wizard, oh no.. he had used his fists, kicked her with a very hard boot. Her hand ran over the repaired ribs and she bit back a small sniffle. No this was not the time to cry. "If I could have defended myself, you wouldn't be in this mess, you'd still be trying to help him I guess, but it's better then what I see in you now.." She said looking up at Jack. "You barely remind me of the Jack I met a long time ago.. you're to quiet.. to... I don't know.." She said sitting up straight and looking hopelessly at her cup. "I miss you Jack." She said looking at her friend. "Please.. please come back.."

Jack glanced at Chase and saw tears forming in Chase's eyes...and then she started apologozing... And strangely...Jack felt angry. Why was she apologizing!? Jack had screwded up, not her! It was Jack's fault, everything was! A friend should not apologize for almost being murdered because their friend screwed up! Why couldn't she just be mad at Jack, the way Jack was mad at herself!

And then Jack felt all emotion trickle out of her, her face paled, her blood ran like ice and she felt her entire body tense...

Why couldn't Chase hate Jack the way Jack hated her...

Jack's head went crashing down into her hands and she felt her breath quicken and the world begin to spin...

“That is why I hate you. Why cant you just hate me?! I’ve tried so damn hard to get you to, but you. just. wont."

What did Vito have to hate but the world...wasn't he created by the world? Could it be true? Could Jack be experiencing just a taste of the way Vito felt every day of his life? Could it be that Vito hated himself, or at least his existense, just the way Jack did now, making it unbearable for anyone to care about him...

That's why Jack tried. That's why she wanted to help Vito. That was why she was so determined to see the poltergeist get better. It was not because she was like him... She WAS him, minus the murders. She did not like to think that people could care about her because it disgusted her to think that anyone could settle for her. She knew she had things going for her; she was clever, a damn good prankster and Beater, she could be loyal, she was strong. And she made sure to put those things forward, just the way a vain person would put forward their charm and banter and money.

But despite all that, she still could not manage to let herself trust anyone, and it pissed herself off. It made her hate herself, and then she trusted people even less because of it, and she tried to make people not like her.

She was Vito Dee Symons.

Her world continued to crash around her as she looked up and faced the still tearful Chase. She nodded at her grimly, her mask on once again. "I know, Chase. But I never much like that first Jack. Don't worry. The fraud will be back soon enough."

She stood up, grabbing her knapsack. "I'm glad I got to say what I had to say. But now I have to go." She turned and left the Leaky Cauldron, stepping out onto the London streets, cold air tugging at her hair as she felt layers and layers of pretenses and lies to herself peel away in the wind.

And for once Jaquellene Dyllan really needed a drink.

Chase sat for a long time after Jack had left. What had she done? She had seen the anger in her eyes very briefly before Jack had simply left her there. She had looked so sad, so upset, and confused. And Chase wanted to help her out! But what could she do now, for all she knew Jack had aparated away, and Chase had no idea where to. Taking another sip of her tea, she wished it were a bit stronger. She set the cup down a bit harder then she meant to and winced at the loud noise. She hadn't meant to make Jack angry, that was for sure... in fact she had thought she was helping.

Throwing down some money on the table she jumped up and ran to the door. Cold air blasted her and she looked around feeling nervous. It was like dementors were on the prowl and it scared her. She slipped into Diagon Alley and looked around. She was gone... Chase found a bench and crumpled down onto it. She needed to find her, but first... Chase suddenly stood up. She needed to plan. Breathing hard, she walked quickly down Diagon Alley, knowing there was only one place she would find someone like Vito in abundance, and hopefully get some information about him. Because she needed to pay him a visit.