here's what i have so far...

Once in the small land of Yure, there lived a pack of young winged horses. The leader of the pack ,Namakoshti, And his mate , Manotachi, had a child. No one knew about this child. The child wasnt given a name as part of the Yurian tradition , No name is to be given to young until it is given by the Warden. The warden would be coming the next day so the young one wouldnt wait long.

The next morn, a herd of centaurs came to the pack of horses. The leader of the herd was the king of the land. They say that king Ario was the greatest of the land. He was also the eldest man in the land. As the herd got closer Manotachi looked at her child hoping the warden didnt care that he (or she) didnt have wings. It was rare for a winged horse to bear a child without wings. When Ario got to the child he frowned. "IS THIS A JOKE!?!? WHAT ARE WE SUPOSED TO DO WITH THIS??? SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY WINGS!?!" He pulled out a book and turned the pages. "Here we go." he started reading the book. The book read:

ARTICLE 12 PAGE 1952: If any animal in the kindom is born and doesnt have the special effects it is supposed to have it will be named , NONTRAFTIEL, which means odd, different or in other words Doesnt belong here.

So the name pu upon the child was Nontraftiel.The warden left the pack as Manotachi started crying. She didnt like the fact that her only child was odd.

Months went by and young Nontraftiel was growing slowly. For a long time Manotachi tried to figure out what was wrong with Nontraftiel. With no luck she was forced to try to keep Nontraftiel away from the rest of the pack. When she went to get food, The others would back away thinking something was wrong with her. Nontraftiel wasnt allowed to search for food so she didnt get as much muscle strength than the other young ones did. The father would watch her as he kept watch over the pack until one day another young horse came along and started hurting young Nontraftiel. As punishment the young horse and his parents were killed. Nontraftiel ended up staying at the rock where they slept while her parents were gone. By the time 3 months had passed Nontraftiel was the size of a new born deer. She was very unhealthy and scrawny. When time came that the warden visited Manotachi tried to hide Nontraftiel but the warden got to the pack before she found a hiding place.

When the warden got there Ario Frowed at Manotachi. "What has happened to this... this odd one? Why is she in such bad care? The kings gentlest man came and picked up Nontreaftiel. "This child will be coming to the infantry where someone will adopt her for you have no authority." As that he killed the father of Nontraftiel's father. "
Yor tribe will have a new leader. No one will be allowed to bear children with this one again." He pointed at Manotachi. The warden left with some men carying Nontreaftiel. The young horse understood what was goig on and left the tribe calmly.

For days they travled. The king tried to get all sorts of creatures to adopt Nontreaftiel but no one wanted a normal horse. Finally they got to the centaur caverns where all the centaurs are gathered to see this young horse. One of the young lady centaurs stepped up and said “May I adopt this young one. I cant bear children for I am to young, but I know how to raise children. “ At this Ario nodded and agreed to let the young lady take care of Nontreaftiel.

The lady and Nontreaftiel parted with the croud and walked miles to a small cave. “This is where I live. It’s small yet comforting.” The young lady showed Nontreaftiel around the cave then sat on a mat. Nontreaftiel came up to the lady and asked. “Will I ever see my mum again?” The lady looked at Nontreaftiel shocked. “Probably not until you are full grown but, you never know.

reply with comments or suggestions on how i could make it betta