Miseria's Confession

Miseria looked down at her watch what was around her white wrist and waited for Josh. She didn't know how he will react, and what he will do. Maybe he will hate her. Or maybe he will think that she's whore. But that wasn't her fault! Baby inside of her was growing fastly, though, she was still in the middle of the choises. Should she leave it or not? Yes, she has Khaat and other people who would help her, but then again, Josh was like her life. How would she survive without him?

Then she finally heard those footsteps what made her heart beat faster and faster with every second. And there he was. Standing only few feets away from her, beautiful and cute as always. She had never forgotten how he looked like when he was with darker hair, but he was still her Josh, the same, and good. She pushed herself away from the tree on what she was relying on and stepped carefully closer to him.

“Hi,“ she then quietly said, waiting for him asking questions or doing something. She just couldn't watch as he was standing and looking at her. She strongly bit her lip, still waiting, coming closer to him with every second. What will he do now?

Miseria's hands were wrapped around Josh in a moment when she felt his hot lips against her cold ones. She missed him so god damn much! She missed his scent, his expression, his soft skin. She missed all of him. And it was for the first time they had kissed in a while. It was like a fire inside of her with thousands of butterflies, what wanted to break her stomach.
But then she broke this beautiful moment by stepping away from him. “Okay, you may start hating me now...“ she said quietly, looking away at the great castle. Maybe she won't return tonight there? She took a deep breathe, feeling sick again. Like it was for first few weeks before she had told what she was waiting for. Or who she was waiting for.
“I'm pregnant,“ she finally said those two words what had crushed her own world.

And thankfully for the darkness what was falling around both of them, covering them with it's wings, Josh couldn't see how Miseria's expression really changed. It was sad. She could burst into tears, and scream but no. Right now what mattered whas her prince's reaction.

Miseria already knew what he was thinking. She didn't need her occlumens for that. That was too obvious. “I don't know,“ she said quietly, almost murmuring it to herself. She really didn't. She was one god damn stupid whore, B****! People are keep looking at her as weird person, but when they are only with her, they all keep acting nice. She scowled, still looking away. What will he tell now? Miseria really-really wouldn't be suprised of his loud voice or even if he'd hit her in the face. She had deserved it.

Miseria was thanking the darkness so she couldn't see what Josh was thinking. She couldn't see his reaction or his face what was probably filled with anger and maybe even with disapointment. She was ready to leave him, let him live without her – the one who is pregnant and fifteen. She felt like she was a traitor for the one she loved with all her heart. And yes, she really was shaking. It wasn't only from the fear what she felt, it was because she felt all alone again. No one was near and there was no one with who she could cry.
Say that you hate me and let me leave then! she begged in her thoughts. This silence was killing her. She was really beggin inside for only few words from Josh.
And then he did it. He broke the silence between them with words what made her face go paler. Did he really say that? Will he really help her? No, that was impossible! How could he forgive her such thing?
Miseria was thinking of it like it really was her fault. And maybe it was. Why did she go that late night out anyways? London has never been safe place for young girls. And now she believed it.

“W-what did you say?“ she asked quietly, like she didn't word correctly what did he say. No, it must be just an illusion. But it seemed so real. But it was real. Real like the kiss before.

Miseria was still looking at him, daring to make no move. She didn't believe him, although, she wanted. Those words were just... a lie. No, they were just a simple illusion to make her feel better. Or maybe she had imagined it all. Maybe Josh isn't here right now, and all this place is empty, and like always, she is alone. No one to depend on.
But this illusion was so damn real. She could even touch him. He was still standing there, her own reality and reason of life.
And then he said again those words what made her feel warm inside. He really was there for her. He was real! She stepped closer to him. And then she took another step. He was too far away from her. And finally she could feel him again. Miseria hugged him carefully, like she was afraid that he will push her away. “I'm afraid,“ she confessed quietly. All this thing made her shake in fear. But he was there, with her and he always will be.