Watch Out! She Bites

Robert had had yet another argument with his teapot. She was a stunning looking antique copper French teapot that Michael Tremaine had given Robert for Christmas years ago to have a pot that he could set on the fireplace hearth in his office to have a properly heated cup of tea. That all was well and good, but it didn't seem that the teapot liked anybody. She was cranky, and she spit, whistled various off-tune little things when the water was hot just to annoy Robert because it was horrendously sour and loud. And she bit.

This time, he really was put out with her. She had brewed tea, and then, because Robert had had the audacity to light a cigarette in his own office without opening a window especially for her, she had very purposely burned his beloved Earl Grey and then spewed the foul smelling tar looking black brew all over a pile of top secret documents, including a highly sensitive map. Then she'd actually managed to giggle about it, feeling proud of herself.

And that left the teapot empty. No tea, no water. He was carrying the teapot that had been only scrubbed with a cleaning charm because he was afraid he would grab the steel wool pad and scratch the hell out of her on sheer principle. That would wreck the value of her, though, so she had only gotten a cleaning charm, rather that the warm soapy water she so preferred.  He had refilled her with cold water, and she wasn't happy about that either, and she was snapping at him all the way down the hallway back towards his office, hoping to find a way to bite him.

"If you ever do that again, I swear," Robert was chastising the pot soundly. "I am going to turn you into a wastebasket and I'm going to fill you to the top with those nasty, cheap muggle coffee pods! Used ones! And then I shall leave you to stink..." He caught two of the clerks laughing. They knew this little teapot much too well, having had their own encounters with her. Robert was the only one besides Michael Tremaine to actually talk to the pot, though. The teapot blew raspberries at Robert, completely unfazed, and that caused loud laughter through the typing area.

"Did you ever name her yet, Sir?" one of them asked.

"I'm going to call her Beulah, I think, because she's such a blowhard!" he glared at the pot at the last of his remark, and the little pot made little sarcastic whistling sounds at him.

"I hope he never gets rid of her. Their squabbles are the best part of the day," one of the clerks laughed.

Confusion laced Rhiannon’s thoughts when she heard the familiar voice of the Minister of Magic himself. But he was not talking to someone else regarding politics or international relations or economic possibilities or, heavens forbid, of the crime rate in England. No. What she heard were words that sounded both threatening and yet silly. The odd choice of words made her purse her mouth just a tiny bit; Rhiannon came from the muggle world and she was quite familiar with the said coffee pods. Her mother, and later her father, had been quite fond of the Nespresso machine and the unique flavours one pod could contain. Rhiannon, too, had grown to like the variety of the flavours and she’d not outgrown the habit of drinking it. Even as a fully established Auror who was surrounded daily with extraordinary and magical, she still purchased herself several items from her fellow muggle cohabitants.

She heard the quiet laughter belonging to no one else than the clerks. Rhiannon wanted to believe she had a rather polite, professional working relationship with them. A simple ‘hello’ and ‘have a good day or night’ as she passed them daily. And when she rounded the corner, her blue eyes finally fell on the most famous man in their community and then the teapot; the said item, soon to be christened Beulah, did not look happy in the least, and she was whistling uncharacteristically loudly for a thing that should only brew good beverages.

“Ah,” she mumbled. She forced her eyes away from the legendary teapot, and Rhiannon chastised herself for not coming to the rightful conclusion earlier: of course, the Minister would argue with a magical tool rather than someone else. Not the first time a witch or a wizard had to deal with an undisciplined and a wild thing. However, even if she would have condemned having a piece such as this in a working place where order was to be followed, her curious nature silenced nearly all thoughts of protest within her. “Greetings.” The auror gave a brief nod to everyone:”So this is the source of some of the jokes in our department. Pleasure to finally make an acquaintance.”

When the woman came into view, the pool of clerks all broke out in loud raucous laughter, not because of her but because the only Lupin most people ever saw was the very tightly self-controlled, dignified one. This particular side of Lupin, who had a need on an ongoing basis to verbally spar with a teapot, was the one that amused the people who worked near his office and saw him every so often with his defenses down, and they liked it. Amongst themselves, they said this side was not only far more human but could often be fun to be around. It was the snarky little teapot that always hijacked him out of his formal, all-business exterior. And the fact that someone new who did rather appear to have perhaps a little of that self controlled demeanor in the workplace herself and who had come upon him at this precise moment in her first encounter with him, taking him by surprise while he was out of his comfort zone, busted them up with laughter, all decorum completely gone.

"This is such excellent blackmail material," Robert's own secretary quipped. "Wait til the office Christmas party."

"Oh, hush, You,'" Robert teased her, and then he quickly turned his attention to the woman who had witnessed the argument with Beulah.  "My apologies. I'm pleased to meet you too. Beulah and I unintentionally tend to be a never-ending source of amusement for this lot. I'd take her home, but when she has the mind, she does brew bloody good tea. You're new here, in the auror department, aren't you? I heard we hired someone new. How do you like it so far?"

As she observed the people who laughed and the most famous, possibly also one of the most competent men in her country, allowing to do so at his expense, Rhiannon briefly wondered if she’d gotten completely lucky and hit a jackpot with the working environment or if this was something she should be concerned about. Then again: what did she know? Rhiannon had not been employed to dwell in the habits of her colleagues unless it was related to the analysis of crime and clues. Right now, though feeling a bit alienated, she also inquired herself if she’d have something similar to these people if she’d ever be able to focus more on trivial things such as small talk and finding common interests with the others.

Vesper’s shoulders slumped briefly when Robert Lupin addressed her. When coming to work there, her intentions had not been to meet the man personally, but to serve under those who were hand picked by him. It never bode well when she was under scrutiny, but Rhiannon forced herself to stand tall and proud as usual. She’d been a remarkable student back at Hogwarts and she was not about to step it down in a place where her efforts actually mattered; where potential, both hers and the other’s, could make a difference.

She smiled, her thin and painted lips revealed a row of white teeth for a couple of seconds. Truthfully, she’d been working there for a while now, nearly a year, but she was not about to correct the man. Faces came and went and it was hard to attach a name to someone when they did not meet frequently. “Rhiannon Morgan,” she introduced herself with a polite nod. “It certainly has its perks as well as challenges. The Auror training did not downplay the intensity of this job, however, but I knew what I signed up for.” Vesper was careful as to not to criticize her calling or state other observations that came from being employed. Honestly, though? It was nothing to complain about: it was as she’d said – she’d been trained for this and she came prepared.

“I’m satisfied I ended up here. It offers much needed routine.”

"Oh! Morgan!" Robert said, the name resonating with him now. "I remember. Your file crossed my desk awhile back." He didn't remember the exact date, but he didn't need to. He had files for those things. "The reason I remember your file in particular is that there were some exceptionally good marks in your NEWT exams and your instructors in your auror training had quite a few complimentary mentions in their references about you. Well done. That really will help you, particularly if things get tough in the field."

In point of fact, Robert did read the files of the new hires before they were accepted, and not that the other aurors were inferior because they weren't. However, every so often, someone stood out for some achievement by passing six or seven NEWT instead of the obligatory five, or if they had done outstandingly well in one particular are or so in the auror training. She had had some consistently higher scores that were above the norm. That did bode well for her.

She seemed to be a bit stiff, but that wasn't necessarily uncommon with new aurors. Robert had seen a lot of them who were either trying to impress superiors, or trying to bloody remember everything they'd been taught, or just plain trying to develop a bit of an exterior crust that would help protect them from overthinking or overemoting by something they saw or experienced on the job.

He understood that. It was a damned hard job. He also well understood her comment about routine and structure. It made perfect sense to him.

"Well, you're absolutely right about the importance of routine. I'm sure you already know that the one consistent thing about the job is that very little in the field is consistent at all, so when you can create that in other ways, it really is a critical anchor to keep yourself sane and safe both.

"Did anyone give you your membership card to the gym at St. Mungo's? It's free to all Ministry staff, so you should have gotten your membership card by now."

Rhiannon offered the Minister a smile, albeit a little shy one now that he recognized her name. "Thank you kindly, sir." It was just as the man had claimed; a lot of people put much trust in her after learning of her achievements back in the day. It was almost as if being a bookworm had its merits.

As she listened on to his words, Rhiannon had to note that it was nice to have someone recognize her love for routine and certain patterns. So far, only a handful of people had seen this as a positive trait instead of applying her habits to her 'stuck-up' attitude. Scheduling, precise timing and following self-made daily rules and routines allowed her to function properly and without suffering from personal downfalls. But a man such as Robert Lupin, who has been in politics for longer than she could imagine, probably knew a thing or two as to how to keep his head above water.

Perhaps a topic of discussion for another time? If he should ever bless her with a dialogue without anyone present. Vesper glanced at the other workers; yes, the Minister was always surrounded by people. A wise choice, truly. She briefly wondered if Lupin ever felt like suffocating from the constant company?

"Gym membership?" she parroted incredulously before her brows furrowed in thought. His question had her completely withdraw from her thoughts for a brief moment and she tried to rewind everything she'd heard from the man, and then she attempted to make a connection with the sudden change of topic. Routine? "I -- no." Frankly, she'd heard some of her colleagues mention the gym part, but it was either an unpopular place or people simply avoided talking about their leisure activities when she was around. "It must have slipped," she added after stuttering briefly. A pity. Rhiannon enjoyed physical activities; they often ended up with her driving herself to the limits or edge of collapse, but the feeling of reward that came along with it? Similar to the euphoria she felt when closing a case. As of now, she frequented the muggle gyms or, in cases of being extremely tired after work, she tried exercising at home. "Or the mail got lost." Again, her lips stretched into a smile and she glanced towards the teapot:"An odd question perhaps, but does she have any favourite activities? Besides making the 'bloody good tea'?"

"I'll see that you get one," Robert told her. "I don't know if you like to work out, but there was such a call for a good gym and a really good spa in the wizarding community, that St. Mungo's added a few years ago, and its open now 24/7. It's in the first level of the basement, right with the physical therapy department. The gym itself has a full selection of exercise equipment and trainers, but there is also a couple classrooms for yoga and tai chi, a pool with a lazy river, hot tubs, steam rooms, massage therapists by appointment, and my favorite part--a really great running track. I run at least once a day, usually about 5K, almost always outside before I come to work, and strength training or tai chi when i get home, at least three nights a week. I do with the aurors would work out, but i honestly don't think most of them do."

She switched subjects and asked about the teapot and if it had any activities.

"Well, I honestly think she would like to be my secretary. She tries to keep my appointments in mind, and she likes to remind me if I'm forgetting something, so sometimes it seems like she's whistling for no apparent reason, and then it takes me awhile to figure out what she's on about. If I happen to have the radio on while I'm shut in my office, doing paperwork, she sometimes whistles to the music. I think the clerks have gotten used to it, but I tend to not have the radio on much anymore just because I don't want to disturb their work.

"So tell me about you. What do you like to do for fun?" Robert's question wasn't intended to pry, but he did like to get to know his colleagues. Some of his most trusted friends were people who had been a colleague of his at one time or another. Robert made friends easily, but they tended to be mostly one of two types--either athletic or intellectual. He had friends that were active, like he was, or friends that knew and appreciated the fine arts--literature, classical music, art, theater. He liked it all, and so did most of his friends. And Robert had a massive library in the farmhouse he lived in. It had started in one room on the ground floor. Then he had gone up a floor to a room on the first floor. Then, over the years, he'd built a tower room so the library could go up to the second floor, and about ten years ago, he'd actually gone down a level too. He had a vast collection of books now--four floors of them, with a spiral staircase to reach all four levels.

"Appreciated."
Rhiannon was not certain if she'd ever actually visit the gym frequented by the other wizards, albeit she'd accept the generous offer regardless. Moreover, if this was not an olive branch that would allow her to extend the network of her colleagues and potential allies at work, she did not know what was. Hence, her 'I do not know if I'll ever set my foot there' was slowly categorized under 'I'll see what they have there once or twice'. But according to Robert Lupin's words, it was like a safe haven for people like her and the Minister: a good spot to relax and maybe even talk about nonsense that was not strictly related to work. "I am impressed." The auror allowed herself another tiny smile. "It is rare to hear that the wizards focus on their physical health with methods such as these." It also implied that Robert Lupin had an exceptional health and probably a vast array of other healthy habits.
It was also a pity that the majority of their community relied solely on magic alone. Whilst it was a good method of getting things done, it was far from being the only option.

"No part time jobs available for lovely teapots, then?" Rhiannon glanced at the item. Even though Beulah was an item that did not necessarily display good characteristics (save for the fact that her antics had made people laugh), an odd and stray thought crossed Vesper's mind: Belulah was, no doubt, extremely loyal to her owner. If anyone were to come across her in Robert's office, they would get nothing but hot tea in their faces. A good addition, no? Or perhaps it was simply just her profession talking now: she'd seen a mix of odd things that displayed a great sense of loyalty for their home and owners; some items have even gone as far as to assault witches and wizards they did not deem 'worthy'.

The silly thought was quickly pushed back when a question was directed towards her. Rhiannon straightened her back almost automatically. 'Fun' was such an odd concept and, lately, she did not even have much time to focus on anything else but work. More importantly: why would Robert Lupin actually want to inquire about her personal interests? Now, it was just her suspicion speaking. Rhiannon forced all her work acquired paranoia to the background. "I used to dance," she started, words and voice hesitant. It was hard to pick out details out of her life that would at least sound interesting or make it appear that she had other matters at hand that were not law related. "Ballet. Family business of sorts." She maintained an eye contact whilst also rummaging through the compartments stashed in her head. "Not much time to focus on it these days. I've switched to martial arts few years ago." Ballet had her develop discipline and a detail oriented trait; these two were the cornerstones which helped Rhiannon to acquire what she wanted in her life. Fighting taught her to push her limits even more and set herself goals.

"Other than that? Reading." She finished her report by setting both of her hands on her lower back:"Whenever I can, that is. I would never dream of putting Ravenclaw to shame without learning more even after graduating."

"Some of the aurors have gained more acceptance of fitness," Robert told her. "As you can probably imagine, it was not that popular some years ago, but it has gotten better. We had a couple on staff that were remarkably fit and their effectiveness rates on the job were astounding. That translated into much better pay for them, understandably, and others wanted those benefits and copied their colleagues. They set a standard for performance that still has some effect and encourages some of the more ambitious to try to do better.'

Those, largely, were the ministry staff who went to the gym, the achievers who hungered for more of something, more success, more prestige, more money. At the other end of the spectrum were the ones that were burned out, willing to take the easy way out and use enchantments and potions to try to maintain their health. They tended to be the ones that he saw at St. Mungo's too, but not in the gym. Rather, they were in the hospital's gourmet quality restaurant at breakfast, tucked in with a full English every morning. Robert liked a full English too like any other self respecting Brit, but he also knew that he didn't dare indulge except on rare occasion. Nor did he participate in elevenses either except perhaps the tea--minus the crumpet, thank you.

For Robert, such tight discipline kept him healthier than a lot of other men his age, and that sort of fitness had meant the difference between death and life on more than one occasion. That was the reason he kept it up. He had a family that he dearly loved and a delightful three year old granddaughter that was the joy of his life. He wanted to be able to enjoy that to the fullest.

Typecast with the younger recruits as "the old man," he knew he was often the butt of jokes with some of the young, new auror recruits, and he had become quite accustomed to them eventually making their way in painfully transparent ways to challenge him to a run on the track in the fitness center, and when he defeated them, it left them slack jawed at him that "the old man" wasn't nearly as old as they'd taken him for.

When Rhiannon asked about a position for Beulah, it was not anything he had ever really given any thought to before. Hiring a teapot? What could he even offer her in terms of pay that would be worth her while? A teapot didn't actually need money.

"I never gave any thought to hiring a teapot," he said. "It isn't a bad thought, though. I'll have to give it some attention. Thank you." He listened to her talk about dancing and then shifting to martial arts. Discipline. Control. The shift had been away from fine arts to far more of a survival orientation. Beauty and fine arts had given way to battle skills and defense. She was guarded, and he understood that. The job required that.

And she liked reading. In that, the two of them might well be kindred spirits. He dearly loved finishing his day with a chapter or two of a good book. It was one of his favorite things in the world. Lyall and Remus had believed Robert would surely be a Ravenclaw because of what they called his "addiction to books" but, no. That dumb hat had pegged him as a Gryffindor. His mother, Hope, had accurately seen he had always had the heart of a Gryffindor, but Robert had still been surprised at the hat's choice for him.

Not that long ago, before he worked two jobs, he would go home at five, do a few hours of farm chores on his gentleman's farm, come in to whatever supper Kate had prepared, shower, finish reading the newspaper and then settle in with a book while Kate worked on some art project she always had in progress. Now, on weekdays, he rose at 4:30 am, was running by five, having breakfast by 6:30, at work by eight, then off to St. Mungo's in late afternoon, home, hopefully by 9 or ten for supper, then off to a shower, and a little time with a book before he did it all over again. There was not nearly so much time for books as he would like.

"That's one of my favorites too," he said simply. "An uninterrupted hour with a book? There are very few things that are better than that."