To Become Somebody

Dory wanted this year to be the year she distinguished herself. Her grades had always been good, enough to get her by and maintain the pride of her parents - though the latter was practically a give in and this point, they couldn't lose that pride if they tried. But it wasn't enough for Dory. She hadn't been chosen as Prefect, Alice Longbottom inheriting that honor instead, and Dory knew it was because her grades were good, not great. Her presence felt but not known... or perhaps it was the other way?

She was a nobody. But that was okay. All of her favorite books featured someone who was a nobody until they were a Somebody. She could wait.

But it wasn't going to be passive. She was going to pull herself up, have something to say when she went home for the holidays, something to tell her parents, something to tell her aunt and uncle.

So she had gone out on a limb, raised her voice, and been rewarded with a slip of paper bearing the name of one Rose Weasley. She knew who she was - Dory knew of people, even if they didn't know of her. She thought the paper might help though.

Rose was found in the library and Dory timidly made her way towards her. "Hi, um, Rose? I'm Dory. I've, um, been struggling with Transfiguration, and Professor Lupin said you might be able to help, said you were pretty good at it and a good teacher." She was fumbling with the sleeves of her sweater. "I understand if you're busy, it's just, he gave me your name-" she held out the piece of paper with her name in Lupin's handwriting. "But I understand if you can't."

It wasn't long ago that Rose had finished with her classes for the day; it didn't take her long to decide that she was going to coop herself up in the library with a book too. Anyone in their right mind would have gone outside, to the lake or to the quidditch stadium if they were on the team (like she was), but instead there Rose was, sitting at one of the tables near the windows.

She had a good view of the outside world to accompany her, but she wasn't expecting an actual person to arrive and disturb her quiet time. So when that happened, Rose felt her eyebrow twitch as she looked up from her book to find a younger looking student timidly talking to her.

After a couple of blinks, Rose sighed but a small smile crossed her lips. She closed the book and reached her hand out to take the slip with her name written on it from the girl who had introduced herself as Dory. Her eyes fixed on the professor's handwriting on the slip, Rose spoke, "Funny he didn't send you to Mulciber. After all, she's an aide for his class."

Rose couldn't help but feel the need to rub it into Anabelle's face, but that could wait. Besides, it wasn't like she wasn't good at Transfiguration either. Otherwise, she wouldn't have been allowed to be an aide to the class.

"I don't mind helping you. There's no practice today so I've got the afternoon off." She said, motioning for Dory to sit down in the seat next to her.

Dory felt a embarrassment tingle in her cheeks - something about Annabelle not being asked seemed to please Rose, and Dory couldn’t help but think she had somehow started… something. “I mean, I’m sure she’s probably busy grading, or something - not that you’re not busy either, I just mean - I don’t think he was trying to say anything, except that you’d be a good person to ask.”

Merlin, could she start over?

Her cheeks were absolutely blazing as Rose languidly offered her a seat, seeming at ease one way or the other. “Thank you,” she said, her sing-songy voice low as she tried to minimize her fear. “I have okay grades, I mean, I always pass. I just… I’d like to break past A’s and EE’s, and know that I have at least an EE. O is the goal, obviously, the dream. I’m hoping to get at least a few but… I’ll need help. Which is why… I’m… here.” Right.

She cleared her throat. “I’m Dory, by the way, don’t know if I said that.”

Rose couldn't help but laugh at the younger girl's dismay over her reaction to being asked for help. "I'm sure she is, don't worry." Rose clarified. It would still be fun to poke Anabelle with this encounter, but she wasn't going to do it out of malice. She was obviously smarter than that.

The Ravenclaw could tell that girl was nervous, though she couldn't place her finger on what exactly she was so nervous about. Rose always thought she was a generally approachable person, so the thought that someone could be frightened of coming near her was actually laughable. However, there was probably a number of things that were making Dory nervous; like having to ask someone for help.

"I see." Rose nodded, she had experienced the same thing during her fifth year. She had wanted to excel in her classes and get the best grades possible, having grown tired of the average. "I felt the same thing last year, so trust me I understand you. And I'll help you as best as I can so you can get to what you want to."

She nodded once again. "Yes, you said that already." A chuckle escaped her as Dory reintroduced herself. "So," Rose tossed her hair over her shoulder, "Where did you want to start?"

Dory got the sense that Rose was a lot cooler than she thought she was. To be fair, Dory thought so of most people. She had a case of chronic idealism and a special knack for seeing the good in people, often where it didn’t really exist. But she knew of the Weasleys, the Potters, the Grangers. They were a people of honor and goodness, beacons of it in a time where others stepped aside. She couldn’t imagine that the people that saved the wizarding world had done anything less than raise amazing children.

She was being gracious, making it easy for her so they could just get on with it. Her assurances that she could relate to the circumstances helped. Dory felt sort of silly asking for a tutor, especially when there were people like Ducky Baker and Johnny Murray who had to try a lot harder just to do a lot worse. But she wasn’t funny like Ducky, and she wasn’t... well, she was sure there was something Johnny was really quite good at. She just didn’t have that. She was good at being a friend, she thought, good at being a daughter, pretty sure she was good at being a niece. But those didn’t quite count. Those just were things she happened to be. No she was sure they couldn’t count.

But doing well on her OWLs. That would count. That meant something.

“Well,” she said, thinking it over. “Actually, do you have tips for managing stress? I’ve heard some people have nervous breakdowns and I really don’t want to do that. I know it’s awhile off, but I want to make sure I feel good.”

"It's always good to be prepared ahead of time." Rose nodded.

She wasn't exactly sure of how much help she would be in terms of managing stress, it's not like she remembered how she handled it. But she was almost certain that she hadn't handled it all that well. If she'd survived, and passed, she must have done something right. Rose really wanted to help this girl, Dory, so she started racking her mind to see if there was anything she could really help her with.

"Well... Let's see. The first thing you should always do, is manage your time. Don't leave things for the last minute. Procrastinating stresses you out more and could definitely cause a meltdown if you find you're not prepared because you thought 'oh I can do this later'.

"You should also make sure that you're taking the time to smile and laugh, whether by yourself or with others. Don't let your studying or classwork, get in the way of your mental state. Smiling and laughing helps you destress yourself and lifts your spirits, so I'd definitely recommend that."

Rose leaned back in her chair and stretched. "Just remember that it's always easier said than done. But if you keep a positive mentality on what you're doing, I'm sure you'll be fine."

Dory nodded along with Rose’s words, realizing halfway through that she should probably write this all down. She jerked to attention and began to look through her bag, desperate to find a quill and parchment. She finally did and jotted down the suggestions, fully aware that she was the sort who needed to write things out if she didn’t want to forget them.

It wasn’t a long list and each was simple in theory, but she knew it was going to be a lot harder than it looked. She remember that girl last year who had stood up during breakfast, announced that she was quitting, and then burst into tears. Worst was the Hufflepuff boy who received his results and took off running into the forest. It took three hours for the professors to find him, and he had somehow already covered himself head to toe in mud.

Dory shook her head. "From this side, it seems so impossible. How do you manage to convince yourself to do anything other than study? I mean, your whole life depends on these scores. I imagine NEWTs are even scarier."

"It's like I said, all you have to do is face it with a positive mentality. If you automatically think you're not going to do well, you'll stress yourself out and be unable to accomplish what you so clearly can."

Dory's mention of NEWTs caused Rose to shift in her seat. There was still a year before she had to worry about that, but Rose needed to make sure she was ready for them. Everyone thought that because she was Hermione Granger's daughter, she would get the best grades but Rose wanted to be more than just Hermione's daughter.

She thought joining the quidditch team would help with that, but even that was expected of her. Maybe not because of her father, but there had been other Weasley's that had been on their respective teams. There didn't really seem to be anything Rose could do for herself that wouldn't out her in the shadows of her parents or their families.

But this wasn't about her.

She leaned toward Dory. "See, it's that kind of mentality that'll ruin you. Don't think your whole life depends on it." But she was right, for the most part. OWLs and NEWTs had a big part to play in the future of the students. But the grades didn't make them. "All you have to do is try your best. If they aren't anything extraordinary, it doesn't mean you aren't."

Dory's heart was sinking. Last year, a positive outlook might have been a bit easier. Things were all a lot simpler before... well, before she had been replaced. She would have never guessed that the very niece she had so eagerly and enthusiastically hoped for would be the person to change it all. Watching the people she considered second parents forget about her had turned a harsher light of scrutiny on herself. Thai and Viola were such wonderful, interesting people. Earning their love made her feel wonderful and interesting. Losing it... well... it reframed things.

But she had already suffered through four years of anonymity and barely-above-mediocre success and she believed her family believed a better daughter than that. She needed to distinguish herself... somehow. Grades seemed to be the most obvious. Hard to feel useless if you had three O's and were on track to be a fancy-pants lawyer... or something.

Merlin, anything at this point.

But Rose was trying hard to convince her of an ideology Dory believed for everyone but herself. If Jet or Cosmo told her they had failed a class, she would insist that, if anything, it somehow proved their innate genius. She would find a way. But the grace and adoration she so easily extended outward never turned and tracked inward.

"Doesn't it sort of determine the rest of your life, though?" Dory asked, the tone of defeat hinting on the edge of her words. "It doesn't matter if you'd make the best Auror there ever was... if you fail Defense Against the Dark Arts or Potions, you can't be an Auror. Though, I suppose that doesn't even matter. It's not like I know what I want to do."