Without the mask, where will you hide?

Polina was happy all week. She just couldn't believe that she finally found someone who would see under her lies and for some reason... like her.
Nathaniel was sweet and for some unknown reason, he really cared about her. That is something she didn't get used to. In her whole life, only people who cared about her were her brothers. But that day when she decided to go away and leave her whole life behind her, she betrayed them.
Polina knew they were looking for her even now, they did everything they could to find her and sometimes they were really close but she was better than him.

After so many cities she visited and tried to build the home, she finally came to London and thought she would be safe her but now, she saw her sister in law, Rosalie Ivashkova, now Blanchard. She saw her and Lucas two days ago, and she realized, if Rose ever see her, she will tell about Polina to her brothers. So maybe it was time to go away and find the new place to live.
But this time was harder to leave. This time she had someone she wants to be with.


Maybe she should dye her hair and take a new identity? Or she should just tell Nathaniel she was leaving again and hurt him. Polina wasn't sure if she would be able to do that.

Working for the ministry was never a easy job, there was alot of demand and alot of over time at time, who wa s he kidding? there was alot of over time. Seems like all he did lately was eat,sleep and work he needed a break. He really missed Polina, she was always on his mind and tried to keep contact with her through phone calls and text messages, but that still wasn't enough. He needed to see her face to face, it been too long for him. He really did miss her, but work made him so busy lately he hardly seen her.


While thinking about Polina, his phone buzzed in his left pocket of his jeans jumping him out of his trance he was in, looking at it he smiled anf replied.

Yeah, I'll be over there soon love.

Heading out the door of the cafe, he walked to the alleyway before he apparated and appeared in front of her place before knocking. "Poli it's me Nathaniel, you going to let me in, or am I going to turn into a snowman on your front proch?" he asked through the door smirking. As she opened the door he smiled and hugged her before kissing her softky on the lips. "I missed you beautiful." Seeing the sadness in her eyes, he frowned. " Poli what's wrong love,why are you so upset?" he asked his eye blue eyes looking at her worried.

"I need to go. I need to find a new place." Polina was repeating those words to herself like a mantra.
"They will find me. This isn't the safe place anymore" she shook her head and when her phone buzzed to let her know she had a new message, she jumped before she realized that was just Nathaniel. He was on his way. But what if someone follows him? What if Nikita or Konstantin are already here?
Polina was on her way to take a glass of whiskey when she heard the doorbell.

For the moment she was thinking if she should answer the door but then she heard Nathaniel's voice and relief overcome her.
"Hi," she said once when she opened the door and tried to smile even if she was nervous as hell. Polina kissed him shortly before she looked at him again.
"Come in before someone sees you. Did anyone follow you?" Great, now she was acting like the maniac but paranoia was stronger than her.

"I... I'm fine. I just... My sister in law is in the town. Maybe... Maybe I'll need to go away again, I need to stay under the radar" she shook her head and went to the living room without even checking if he was following her.
"Do you want something to drink?" She poured the whiskey into the glass for her and drunk it in one sip.

He lifted his eyebrows at her as she kept looking around, he wondered why she kept looking around so much about,  but he decided to let her explain.  "Um...no...no one followed me here, Poli what's going on?"  there was obviously worried on his face and in his eyes.  He never seen her like this, he was starting to get worried about her. He really liked her, he didn't want to lose her, not now or ever.


The mention of leaving he frowned, so much for trying not to lose her.  "W...what leave, why would you  leave Poli?" he asked her looking at her sadly.  " I don't want you to go Poli, you're just going to leave me after we promise each other not to hurt each other?" he asked her angrily.   "Just up and leave me when I care about you?" knowing the answer to his own question he sighed.  Grabbing the whiskey from her he quickly took a drink of it calming his berved.

"Stop... Stop being mad at me" Polina started crying and shook her head. She was doing it again. Even when she was a little girl, when someone she cares about gets mad at her, she starts crying. Terrible habit.

"I don't want to leave!" She started yelling even if she didn't want that. She promised herself that she will stay calm no matter what.
"But what if they find me, Nathaniel? They would force me to come back to Russia." She came closer to him and looked him in the eyes even if she was barely able to see him because of tears in her own eyes.

"3 years," she said almost whispering. "I am running from my brothers in last 3 years. And now Rosalie is in the town, I saw her with my own eyes. True, she saw me few times and I dyed my hair after I left Russia but... but what if she recognizes me if she ever sees me?" She couldn't keep distance anymore so she hugged him and put her head on his chest.

His expression softened as he looked at her and frowned at her crying.  " Sh...Poli love dont cry, I...I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry." he said softly.  "I just don't want you tp leave,  I just found you I don't want you to leave so please don't."  Looking at her sadly like his whole world was crashing down before him, to him it was she was his whole world.  He cared about her deeply and didn't want her to walk out of his life like this, he wasn't going to let her go.


He jumped at her yelling at him,  it took him by surprise for he never seen her yell before.  "Then don't go Poli, stay with me and be happy for once." he said his sky blue eyes looking into hers.   He looked at her frowning, it was tearing him up to see her like this he hated it.  " I can't tell you that it won't happen,   but I don't want you to leave like this. "  He was sad and he was feeling pain once again like he was breaking all over again.  


"Sh...it'll be ok Poli."  wrapping his arms around her pulling her close to him to him.  "We'll figure this out ok?" he whispered to her.  "We'll move away from here together to a place that no one knows us,  but I'm not going awwy."he saof simply.  He was here to stay, she wasn't going to get rid of him that easily.  He wanted her to know that he waa there to stay, he was there as long as she wanted him to be there.

"How can you say me not to cry when you are mad and you don't even understand what I'm saying to you?" Polina took whiskey from his hands again and this tame took a sip directly from the bottle. Great, now she will be sad and drunk. She was the bad person. She only hurts people around her. And how could she be really mad at him when he even doesn't know what she was running from?

"You think that I want to leave? Just stop for a second and imagine that you are running from someone for 3 years. Every couple of months new city, new people, and you need to start all over again. Damn it, I'm 21 years old and I don't have even friends. I go away sooner than I get a chance to make some." She shook her head and took a sip of whiskey, again. It felt good. The liquid burned her inside but it was good. It made her feel alive again.

"No!" she said louder than she wanted but the shock was written all over her face.
"No" she shook her head and got out of his hug and sat on the floor. The sofa seemed kilometers away from her at the moment.
"I can't let you leave your whole life because of me. I... I will figure this out somehow. I just... I need time. And I don't want to talk about this anymore now."

She started smiling. Just like that. She didn't drink too much, but whiskey was too strong for her.
"Tell me how was your day. Did you do anything interesting?" She looked at him which was hard since he was really tall and she was well, on the floor.
"I saw my nephew, I mean, at least I think he is my nephew. When I ran away Rosalie wasn't pregnant. He is really beautiful. He looks exactly like Nikolai" thinking about Nikolai made her frowned. She still wasn't able to accept the fact that he was dead.

He looked at her and frowned.  "I'm not mad Poli, I'm just upset that you're up and leaving me and I don't understand why. " summoning a bottle of firewhiskey he quickly tookba drink of it, the liquor burning his throat.  Great, now he was getting drunk out of sadness and anger, something that he hated doing.  Nathaniel looked at her and frowned, she was right he didn't understand why she was leaving,  they were happy or so he thought.  It always seems like that with someone he really liked,  he almost fall in love with them and just like that they crush his heart into pieces, leaving it shattered like glass in a million pieces on the floor in front of him.


"Then stop running for once,  be happy where you are, be happy with me for once. " looking at her like he was about to cry he looked away.   Drinking the firewhiskey he felt it making him more numb and numb hiding the pain and hurt that he felt inside him, especially in his chest.  If he had to do this again to numb his pain he would, become a cold arrogant bastard that let no one in,  his heart as cold as ice he would. Maybe he was destined to find love or even have it, every time he did, it was taken from him or disappeared on him like it was nothing.  Although with Polina it hurt twice as much for some reason,  the reason he didn't know why but the pain was unreal.


He looked at her and frowned with pain in his eyes, it was clear that he waa breaking, he was breaking down right in front of her and he knew it.   "I don't have to leave every thing here Poli, I'll apparate to work every morning and see my family, it'll be ok." his sky blue  eyes looking at her as if begging her to consider it and say yes.  "Alright fine, as you wish Poli, we won't talk about it." he said calmly and without any emotions.  He was shutting himself down already,  becoming as cold as ice and heartless, besides who needed love anyways?  It definitely wasn't him,  every time he did he gotten hurt, he wasn't going through that pain again.


He looked at her his sky blue eyes dead, showing no happiness or sparkle that was once there.   Nothing special,  just helped my aunt at the candy shop she owns not too fsr from here, talked to my cousin Maura." he said shrugging as if it wasn't a big deal.  He looked at her and nodded.   "That's nice,  maybe you can settle whatever family problem you have,  then again maybe you won't. "he said  taking another big drink numbing himself once again.  The burning of the liquor felt nice, numbing away all the hurt he was feeling, leaving him cold and numb although it burned the inside of him it left him feeling that way.  It was a nice feeling,  something he haven't felt in a long time,  he didn't think he'll be loke tgis again but boy he was wrong.

Something about him changed. Polina knew him for a short time but she knew something changed. He was cold and distant and... Panic hit her like a tornado. He will break up with her.
"Don't do that Nathaniel. Don't leave me, please" she almost whispered now realizing what she had done. She ruined everything, just like always.

Polina stood up from the floor and looked at him but Nate was so... different. He was right. She had her own problems to solve. Maybe it was her time to start running from the past and instead to face it. She missed her brothers. She wanted to get to know her nephew. And the thing that hurt her the most, she knew she wasn't the right person for Nate. He deserves someone better than her. Someone who would make him happy. She can't give him that when she was broken on her own.

"Please, go," she said with the tears in her eyes but she decided she won't let him cry, not again.
You know where is the door. You are right, I have my own problems to solve" she said that and apparated herself out of her own house.