How do you run from what's inside your head?

It took a lot of courage from Charlotte to write this. probably more than she was ready to admit.
But the truth was, she was sick. She was sick of pretending that everything is okay and that she actually knows what the hell is happening.
Everything started this morning when she sat next to Clair during the breakfast and he dared to ask if she and Christian are still together.
She didn't have answer for him. Mostly because she wasn't sure herself. The only thing she knew was the fact that she didn't see Christian. Maybe he really broke up with her but didn't even be nice enough to say to her.

So she left the note in his common room in hope he will see it.
He probably will, since on the back site of the paper she wrote CHRISTIAN ZABINI.
After she left the note she went to her common room.
Charlotte had no idea what to do. So she decided to write letters. That always help. That feeling when you know that somebody would read everything and maybe even give you some advice.

She took papers and pen and went to the Forbidden Forest. She decided to write there mostly because she wasn't sure when Christian would come if he even wants to come.

She was just finishing letter for Adriana when she heard footsteps. Charlotte raised her head expecting to see someone from the younger students who thought it was funny to come here, but her gaze met Christian's.

In her head, she had various scenarios what she would do when she finally see him, but it was like she forgot everything she was thinking about.
She stood up and looked at him.

"Are we still together?" She heard her own voice before she even had a chance to think about that question.

Christian was exhausted, but not for one singular reason. He and Ace had been on rocky terms, sort of patched it up, and then it had gotten bad again. Until he learned more about the whole feud with Pavo. That wasn't okay, she wasn't okay and Christian definitely didn't feel that way either.

Exams were about to hit as well, and studying while worrying about Ace had been another form of torture.

But then there was Charlotte, too. And she deserved more than Christian had been able to offer. He'd thought about seeking her out to tell her as much but then she turned the tables on him, requesting that he meet her outside. The location choice was odd, perhaps, but he didn't mind, and didn't waste any time either since he had no idea when it had been left for him.

Once he made it outside, he inched his way into the forest until he caught sight of her. Christian had expected her to be upset with him, but not for her to shoot to her feet and ask that, of all things. His mouth fell open and it took him a moment to recover.

"I mean... do you not want to be? I'd understand," he admitted, a hand drifting to the back of his neck. "I just.. I'm sorry, Lottie. I am. But Ace was being weird and with exams and with Pavo and his idiot friends so much was happening. I haven't been feeling like myself."

He took a few cautious steps towards her, his eyebrows drawing together and a hand reaching for Charlotte's. "It isn't like I was trying to avoid you. I just got to thinking about this summer. And about if you'd change your mind about me if you ever met my parents. And.. I'm just sorry."

Charlotte wasn't ready for this. She didn't choose this when she decided to be with Christian.
She had the relationship before and everything was nice.
Her only problem was if her parents would approve that.
But she never ever felt like that.
She never felt like someone moved ground under her feets. She felt like she was falling but no one can help her.
And all of that only because she thought that Christian is avoiding her.

Exams will start soon as well but she wasn't able to study. And she didn't want to fail. That is why she wanted to know where they are standing now. Because if she doesn't have the answer, she won't be able to study. Which means she would fail.
Which means she would ruin her plans for the future.

Ace.
She was the problem.
And to be honest, Charlotte had no idea what to think about it.
It's not like she is jealous, she really isn't.
She spent days thinking if the doesn't like Christian's friends but then again, he probably wouldn't like hers as well.
So she can't judge him, not when she knows the truth about her spoiled rich brats.
But on the other side, she didn't want Ace to be that much connected with their relationship.
Would he always leave when Ace needs something?

"I mean, I don't want to be rude but... Wait? What? No!" she wasn't even aware of the fact that she was yelling.
But he somehow succeeded to make this looks like she wants to break up with him. And that is not the truth.
Even if they are not together for a long time, she really likes him. That is the reason why she called him to meet her here.

"I don't want to break up with you." She finally started speaking again calmly.
"I just want to know if something is wrong. I thought I did something and that you are avoiding me" she finally said those words, showing her insecurity.

She listened to his words with the small smile on her face and reached for his hands. But instead of taking his hand she hugged him.
She was just really happy because they are okay.

"Why I would change my mind if I meet your parents?" Charlotte frowned and looked at him again.
"I know that you are pureblood and I'm not, but there is nothing we can do about that" she shrugged because she knew it was truth. She can't change who she is, and he can't change his parents.

"What about summer?" She asked curiously.

Christian sighed when she confessed her fears - not out of exasperation but rather out of guilt. It wasn't like he saw everybody in the school every single day. Except Ace, probably, but that was half because of their friendship and half because they were in the same house and thus classes. But certainly his girlfriend, of all people, should have joined Alice on that list by now. Merlin, he was messing this all up.

Still, he felt himself lean into her hug, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"I know you don't care about that," he said as his hands fell to her sides without him having to really think about it. "It isn't like I do, either, you know that. But... over Christmas, Apollo brought his girlfriend home for a party. And it went horribly."

Christian shook his head a little. "It isn't kind of me to say, but I know full well I'm our mother's favorite. She bonded with me more while dad was closer to Apollo. But I'm not sure even her favor could keep a meeting from completely falling apart. And I know that isn't fair to you. Eventually, it will have to be done and then you'll see how rubbish it is."

It wasn't like she hadn't noticed he was rather rubbish at all this already, was it?

As for summer, "well, it isn't like I'll be able to leave the shop much, will I? Apollo's got an apprenticeship with the Minister and St. Mungo's so I'll basically be running the place. And neither of us can apparate. I just... I wasn't sure you'd think it was worth bothering with any of it. Or me, for that matter."

Charlotte was carefully listening to his words and she didn't know what to say. She can understand even if she never had experience in those things. They parents never forbid her to be with someone only because they are Muggles.
But she heard stories.
She heard about pureblood families and how they think that they are better than others only because of their roots. But she wasn't able to understand that. Blood means nothing when the love is there. You can't choose who you will love. It just happens and blood has nothing with that.

"I understand, Christian. It's fine" she smiled and kissed his cheek.
"But if you ever decide that you want me to meet your parents, I'll do that. There is nothing they can say to make me run away. I'll be here as long as you want me to be" she said honestly and looked at him. She likes him. If that means she will need to meet his parents who would judge her only because she doesn't have completly wizards blood, he will be there and face it.

"I know it could be hard, but I would do that because of you" Charlotte smiled and took his hand in her.
"On the bright side, meeting my parents wouldn't be like the hurricane. They wouldn't approve only if you are the drug addict or alcoholic" she shrugged in hope that the bad conversation will be done soon.

"Christian Zabini do you really think I won't came and visit you?" She frowned and looked at him.
"I will probably even be able to help you. in my free time, I read a lot economy books" she smiled.
"It kinda helps me when I am nervous or can't sleep."

The more Charlotte spoke, the larger the pit in his stomach grew. He'd felt guilty already for spending his time worrying about Ace more than his girlfriend, but she spoke as though they were much further along than he'd realized. Than he'd expected. And he couldn't help but be concerned about it. It wasn't fair, for starters, on either of them. How was he meant to live up to that so quickly? It wasn't like he didn't want to, but still. He just didn't know he was meant to right away.

The irony of it all was that, even when he'd mentioned it to Ace, he hadn't fully intended on inviting her to his parents'. He knew it was a bad idea, but had somehow needed backup on the matter. As if Apollo's monumentally stupid failure hadn't been enough. But now she was talking about her parents as well and he could feel a bit of panic setting in. Ace definitely wouldn't be hearing about all this. For the first time since his (most recent) fight with Apollo, Christian actually wanted to go to his brother for advice.

"No," he replied once she'd chided him. "It's just going to be a lot of effort for you if your family doesn't have a floo set up, that's all. I don't want to make you go too far out of your way." He shrugged. "As far as the shop goes, you're more than welcome to stop by. But I can't ask you to actually work there. Now," he tilted his head, considering their options, "if you were to go to Apollo and imply that you were looking for a job, he might go for it. Slightly less conflict of interest in that case, no? And there's a legal thing, because if you got hurt and we weren't paying you to be there, let's just say that hell would probably break loose."

Although he was quite serious about it, Christian felt a bit better for the sneaking they were about to do. He did hope she wouldn't be too annoyed by Dax, but at least the man was professional when he needed to be. He wasn't sure she'd actually like it, or even want to do it, but he did like the idea that, with more people on their staff, perhaps people could actually take a decent number of days off this summer. They'd been all but overwhelmed the year before, after all.

"You don't have to, obviously. You'd be welcome either way, but you might like having a bit of money on hand."

It sounded like she wants to meet his parents. She was actually stupid enough to say it on that way. What the hell is she supposed to do now?
That happens when she doesn't think about words before she says something.
She gets herself in trouble. And now, she doesn't know how to fix that. How to say that she actually doesn't want to meet them because she was scared as hell about even thinking about them? They can't go that quickly. They were supposed to be together for years before they come up to that topic.
"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against your parents, but I'm not ready to meet them yet. Or in next few months. So let's just skip that part for now" she smiled nervously because she wasn't sure how Christian would react. What if he wanted her to meet them and now he would feel sad and uncomfortable?

Charlotte didn't actually think about her parents on that way.
To be honest, she would allow Christian to meet them if he wants because for her it was something normal.
All her boyfriends knew her parents but maybe it was because she was actually always dating people her parents already know. And now, Christian was probably confused, maybe for him, it was a big step to meet her parents.
"You know, about my parents" she paused for a second while she was trying to find right words. It's not a big deal? Or I was just kidding? There were a lot of opportunities but she decided, to tell the truth. There is no point in lying, he would find out eventually.
"About meeting them, it wasn't really big deal for me" Charlotte looked at him and smiled.
"I mean, I was always dating boys that my parents already knew, so if you ever decide to meet them, it's okay with me." She smiled.

Charlotte couldn't help herself once when laugh threatened to make her lost her breath.
Her parents, to have something magical in the house? That won't happen, ever.
"Sorry, it was just funny. I'm so sorry" she said still laughing and once when she finally succeeded to stop she looked at Christian.
"We don't have anything magical at home. Except for my mothers any mine wands and my books." She shrugged.
"My parents decided to look like Muggles, and all their friends are muggles so they really care about that.
"I am not sure that Apollo would give me the job because you know..." I was a spoiled brat and my parents always give me money when I want it for something.
"The truth is, I never had any job. But I would like to try. It could be nice to get your own money" she shrugged.

"Okay I will talk with Apollo, maybe he would find something interesting in giving the job to the girl who never had the job before" she smiled happily at that idea. It wasn't all about she would be able to see Christian more, which was definitely advantage, but it was more about the fact she would try something new and be more independent.
"Let's go walk. This forest is really creepy."

It was a relief, to be sure, that Charlotte wasn't intent on meeting dear old dad. Or Mum, for that matter. Merlin, help them all if that day ever came. For anybody Christian was interested, for that matter, not just for Charlotte. Because, heir or not, the family name was something that could be tarnished by one and affect everybody else. The needs of the many, or whatever.

Of course, on the matter of her own parents, he was concerned again. Ace's family liked him well enough, from what he'd judged, but they were completely involved in the Wizarding World and what came along with it. Including a wizard or witch that might one day take interest in their children. The thought of either happening made Christian squirm, but only on the inside.

In this case, it was that much worse because he was a stranger from a world they, presumably, did not approve of. He gave her the most confident shrug he could manage, which - in itself - was contradictory, but wasn't sure what to say. So he just offered up a noncommittal, "Well, I guess we can just see how everything goes before we worry about that stuff."

She was... laughing? It wasn't like he'd expected her family to have one, considering her own stance on magic. Which, now that he thought about it, would horrify his parents as well. Fantastic...

But, no. He lifted his eyebrows, except she had a fair explanation so he nodded. Appearances. He understood the pressure of those.

"We never worked before father threw us into the shop business, either. Frankly, he'd probably be interested in seeing whether or not you hate the customers. I certainly do, sometimes. But if nothing else, you can use this summer to save up, and then it might be easier to find some work after we graduate next year."

The one thing he registered but refused to consider, though, was the obvious: He and Charlotte would be on shifts together, inevitably. And while he wouldn't mind seeing her, he would technically be her boss there. And if things ended up getting busy or something went wrong, he wasn't sure that he'd still seem so nice. And Dax would certainly freak her out if Christian wasn't keeping an eye on him. But, more than that... what happened if they split up? She'd already thought he was over it after he'd been private for a few days. But then, with such close quarters he supposed that made sense. He just knew that he did not want to see the fallout or the aftermath if they spent so much time in the single room of their storefront.

At least he'd have his flat to escape to if absolutely necessary. He just hoped it wouldn't be.

He did laugh a bit at her request. "Then why did you ask me to meet you here?" Christian asked, confused but mostly just entertained. If she disliked it, perhaps she'd thought it was a good place to stage a breakup. Nice and dramatic and perfectly uncomfortable.

Still, he shook his head and gestured towards the edge of the trees so she could lead the way. Once they started off, his arm settled across her back so they could walk side by side.

Finally, it seemed like they got over that thread. She wasn't even sure how they came to that subject, but it was something she doesn't want to talk about for sure.
Meeting parents was something really big. It means that relationship was serious enough for that. On the other side, their relationship wasn't like that. They barely know each other after all. She wasn't ready.

Christian looked like he would puke or something like that once when they come to her parents.
Charlotte couldn't but feel terrible because, after all, it was her fault. She said that. And now she wasn't sure how to fix that. But she needs to fix that if she doesn't want to see him feeling sick.
Luckily, he decided to end that topic and she wasn't even able to describe how grateful she was because she wasn't the one who is supposed to end that topic. But she learned her lesson.
Don't speak with your boyfriend about parents.
Damn it, she should write notes if she wants to survive this.

Charlotte knew laughing is the bad reaction but she just couldn't help herself. It was funny. Really funny.
She tried to imagine her parents using some magic way to travel or to do usual stuff and it was... like the alternative universe or something like that.
They care a lot about how they would look in front of their friends. They built their life in Muggles world and if the price was to stop use magic, they were obviously ready for that.

Thinking about that, Charlotte realized it may not be her fault everything about hating magic and so on.
She didn't get the chance to grew up in the magic world like her magical friends.
For them, magic was something normal but for Charlotte, it was the world she heard only in fairy tales when she was the kid. So, imagine the person who didn't even know that magic exist, come to the world where people sort their clothes using a wand and things like that.
For her, it was strange and... supernatural? Maybe that was the correct word.

"He would want to see if I hate customers?" she looked at Christian in confusion. Would she hate them? probably not.
She can be nice when she wants, after all. Her parents taught her about manners, she would never be rude toward people who are supposed to give her money. Every future economist knows that.
"I probably wouldn't hate them. But if you do, it's not like you can show that. They are the ones who give the money after all." She smiled and shook her head.

To be honest, Charlotte didn't even think about the fact that she will be near to Christian a lot of time.
If she did, though, she would probably be afraid. She would be afraid that they may annoy each other, or even worse, get sick from being together that much time.
The scenario where they break up was even worse. How can she work with someone who was her boyfriend? But she didn't care about that. She should be professional if she got the job, and she won't do anything to ruin that. If they break up, well, they will just need to live with that, the job can suffer because of them.

"I don't know" she paused and frowned while thinking about his question.
Why did she do to meet him here? Maybe because she knew they will have privacy there? Or because of something else? Maybe she thought it will be funny to break up at this creepy place?
"Before you came, I was writing letters to my friends. I though I can have privacy here to do that" she shrugged and before they were ready to go she grabbed her letters from the ground.
She felt his arm on her back but she didn't do anything, even if it felt nice.

Charlotte led them to the lake and once when they were there she sat on the grass and put her letters on the ground next to her.
"I love this place" she smiled and looked at Christian.

"I was mostly kidding, to be fair. But trust me, there will eventually be a customer or two that drive you right up the wall." Christian shook his head, smiling a little as he held back the urge to laugh. It wasn't very nice of him to say, but Merlin if it wasn't true. "You'll probably have more patience than I will, if that's how you plan to handle them."

He nodded and shrugged at her explanation, figuring it was fair enough. He had few excuses to write home, unless one counted writing to his mother. And, to be quite frank about it, that was happening less frequently since the Christmas disaster. Their home, supposedly, had been made safe again. But they'd thought it was safe before, so what did he know?

They settled down in front of the lake where they'd first met to talk, and he smiled when she spoke again. His gaze flicked over the water but returned to her as he replied. "It's pretty spectacular. I feel like I might miss it over the summer."

There were a lot of things about Hogwarts that he felt he might miss, once he thought about it, but if Charlotte took the job at Quality Quidditch Supplies, at least she wouldn't have to be one of those things. He just hoped she wouldn't get frustrated if he took off every now and then to help Ace or Apollo.