So I'm basing this to some extent off of the PMs that we exchanged about the character, although I'll admit I'm pretty surprised by what you've come up with. Quite interesting.
I apolagize for not yet being able to address your private message; I am a Pharmacy Technician also attending college, on top of being a volunteer at my local hospital, so what time I have free must be very carefully organized. I had hoped we would be able to talk some more here on my character's application in regards to our earlier discussion, as you mentioned, about making possible arrangements towards making my character a partial-blooded Veela. However, I will address your points in this applications before proceeding to that, if that's alright.
A couple of things, though - Castelobruxo isn't located in North America, it's in Brazil in the middle of the rainforest.
Any mention of Caselobruxo being in North America is strictly a typo on my part. I shall go in an edit this, as I entirely
molded this particular character's history, family, name, upbringing, culture, etc. on her having been born and raised in Brazil, and consequently sent to receive schooling at Caselobruxo (which I have included all throughout this application, save any typos I may have included by mistake confusing Brazil with North America, as you pointed out.) I
thoroughly researched J. K. Rowling's stated canon (both on Pottermore and directly from her written statements) for Castelobruxo.
Just for clarification. I'm not sure, however, that we can include sword-fighting, martial arts, archery and other generally "warrior" aspects that you've given the school. Wizards don't need those abilities and there's nothing in the Castelobruxo information that suggests that this school would be different.
This too, is a misunderstanding. I intended for it to be read as though this character had received
private training in these skills ("warrior aspects", as you put it) outside of the Wizarding School of Caselobruxo itself - i.e. that this character had taken private lessons during her time home, such as holidays and over the summer,
whilst still of the age to be attending Castelobruxo during the rest of the year (save the before-mentioned free time outside of Caselobruxo when she would receive these lessons in the muggle society, as a witch who was raised by muggle "standards"). Any mention in the history portion of this app that have referred to this character's use of a sword or "training", as I wrote in the application (as well as any other "warrior aspects") were to be considered a hobby, or something that she was in no way taught by the school's professors, but rather by her own ambition, on her own, in private.
It is also a stretch to say that she learns to be Magizoologist, Herbologist, Potioneer, Alchemist (which, granted, is only taught in the final two years at Hogwarts and is probably similar for other schools) etc
Yet another misunderstanding of my written intentions for this character. I never stated that this character "learned to be a Magizoologist, Herbologist, Potioneer, Alchemist, etc. in school because while they take the courses they don't become qualified in any way until they either apprentice or take a job in one of those areas" - I stated that she had
taken these courses (you and I could take basic courses in math, but that would not make us mathematicians, for example - this was my intention) and that she possessed a particular knack for these subjects, not that she was in any way a "qualified" Magizoologist, Herbologist, Alchemist, etc. The only subject that I state in this application that she had become "qualified in" or in any way intended to peruse a career in that field, was Potions - any other subjects mentioned were simply an area of schooling that she was "good at".
I honestly can't say that I understand where her "cold, calculating" nature comes from if it isn't from her parents or an inciting incident during school. Typically there's a reason for someone to be harsh or unfeeling, particularly if their childhood was as wonderful as you've said it was.
One can have a "cold, calculating nature", or in other words, be a cynical person without suffering an great trauma in school or having an unhappy childhood; it can be purely chemical. I, for example, had a wonderful childhood by today's standards and suffer from a terrible case of purely-chemical bipolar disorder and depression. According to what I wrote, I have subtly implied that she may have an unaddressed chemically-caused mental disorder (as I refuse to build a character entirely around mental illness just as a general rule in my experience as a roleplayer / writer) that I intend to later, subtly, and with tact, address in character over time. For now, however, I have only stated that, as part of this character's personality, she is cynical and impersonal -
unless in regards to a few particular individuals (mentioned in the "Caselobruxo History" section, where I have written that she has actually grown incredibly close to a small inner circle of friends while in school, and that she is incredibly loving, feeling, affectionate, etc. towards her twin sister) towards who she has opened up to by dropping her guard. She is a pessimist. A grump. She holds others at an arm's length until she gets to know them, etc.
That is what I wrote. Again, I think this was a misunderstanding of my intention.
Additionally, be careful with curse words. They're rarely acceptable if they're as strong as the F-word.
The two instances of the inclusion of curse words have been removed. I understand this rule. I simply misunderstood; most older proboards forums (not jcink) that I have written on have a list of "banned words" which, typically, are automatically censored by the forumn's settings to a series of asterisks - but this was my mistake, as I made that assumptions. As I stated earlier, they have been removed.
It's fine if your character is extremely biased, or religious (though most on PA aren't as there's not really a suggestion of religion in the books)
This character's personality, history, biases, etc. are entirely written around her having been raised by a Squib (Pureblood) who has renounced all things "Wizard" to live life and to raise his daughters by "Muggle means / standards" and a Halfblooded Witch as their mother (who agreed to raise the twins as muggle children until they received, if they would, a letter of acceptance from a wizard's school). Thus, this particular character was raised as a Christian - which is the most accurate, due to their upbringing in Brazil, a very typically religious culture. There was no mention of religion in the books in regards to "magic folk" - but as you and I both know, we muggles - and human beings as a species - are particularly fond of the inclusion of religion in many of our cultures, thus, respectfully, I see no issue in including this in her upbringing. I in no way intend to "Off put" any other players on Potter's Army with the concept of my character having been raised to believe in Christianity; I have no intention to "lord" this over anyone in character, but have
only included her religious upbringing due to the fact that it will influence her personal romantic relationships, her moral choices, and because the "Culture" section in the "Optional Details" section of this application asked me what this character's religious status was (meaning that it is not uncommon for characters to practice a religion).
Yes, we have wealthy characters on PA but it will become something that is considered overpowering if any claims are made that she's one of the wealthiest or that she uses money consistently to get what she wants. That may not be the intention, but it seems to be implied, so be wary.
This was never once implied. In fact, I had addressed this potential misunderstanding preemptively by having stated throughout the application that this particular character is from a wealthy upbringing (included in this application
only to thoroughly explain the traits and beliefs that she obtained from being raised in a wealthy home / from that particular lifestyle) ; that her
father is largely regarded as a
Muggle millionaire - something which has no bearing on the Wizarding World, as they use entirely different currency canonically, and because, as stated in the following portion of the "After Caselobruxo History" section of this application, where this character was once entirely and
obscenely spoiled - earning her the designer clothing, rare jewelry, and other such possessions which will likely make an appearance in any mentions of her history in character, as well as the manor that has been gifted to her (which is located in Brazil, and will likely
only ever be mentioned in passing, or whilst visiting her family IC, as she obviously will be living in the UK for her to exist on Potter's Army) - she has renounced her "allowance", or the money that was previously being thrown at her by her
wealthy father in exchange for her participation in her "grooming" to be a successor to her father's
Muggle empire in order to peruse her passion in potions / the Wizarding World, AND because she, as I wrote it,
"she could not be a prouder Brânduşa heir, she knew her ambition, bravery, and honor were bigger than Ştefan Brânduşa's infamous empire of business and crime". Thus, this character's travels around the "Northern Realms" was the last of any money given to her by her wealthy father. I had intended for this to be a subject of plotting in character after acceptance; i.e. "How does one live without her father's money if she has been raised to be a spoiled brat by means of her father's billion dollar empire her entire life? How will she survive? How will she fair on her own with only the money she makes herself, and a number of possessions carried with her from her previous life of wealth (such as her closet)?" You get the gist.
It looks like you're going with her being human, then? In the species bit it's easiest to just write Human even though it has a "what to do if they're not" human thing there, so to speak. Otherwise we have to ask.
This is where I had hoped we could address this in better depth. You refereed me to Selwyn. I had hoped to finished speaking to you admins before just going off and labeling her anything other than human, as I feel that would be a bit disrespectful on my part. I assume we have a lot to go over if we intend to make this particular character any more Veela than 1/4... If it is looking as though that particular avenue may be unattainable, I would like to move on with this character as human. This, I hope, is something we will discuss.
Lastly, you'll need to explain how and why your character came to live in the UK, what her job is now, etc. Otherwise she cannot interact effectively (or, possibly, at all) with the other characters of the site who all live in Europe (typically the UK) and work in the UK.
I addressed that she traveled all over the globe and I made this statement rather vague, so not to write out every individual region she may have traveled, and left it at, rather "she traveled all over, here were a few of the major stops before she decided, ultimately, to end by, rather than returning home to Brazil or Romania as her parents had asked her, to head to the Ministry of Magic in the UK - where she eventually (and presently IC) found herself in the UK, having honed her skills to some degree, to pursue a career at the Ministry of Magic, located in the UK canonically, see here:
"She wouldn't get that if she fulfilled her families desire to come home and be their perfect little prodigy to show off but utilize. She would never be what she needed to be with them, nor would she ever truly be allowed to pursue her passion in the more combat-oriented are of her skill set. She wanted the ministry to want her. She wanted to the world to look to her and know her power. She wanted to be a perfect, poisonous warrior." This was where I implied that she would, after being accepted, pursue a new home and a new career in the UK through the Ministry of Magic.
I hope this has addressed everything! Any replies I make are made ASAP, as I have a very tight schedule. Thanks!
by Senona Brânduşa Sat Sep 24, 2016 8:27 am
